Life in Fusion (30 page)

can’t seem to imagine yourself to be a wonderful husband or

partner…whatever the fuck you want to call it. And oh, how I

wish you could see that version of yourself, babe.”

I stood there speechless and stunned for a moment, partially

because I knew to some degree he was right, and I had no logical

come back lined up at the ready, since no one else had either

dared or cared to call me out on that before.

“And I realize you don’t remember the first time we had sex.”

Wade smiled. “That night I picked you up at Staggs. I didn’t

realize how drunk you were. You seemed so lucid, and when we

made love?” He laughed. “Seems odd to call it that considering

we were total strangers. But we shared something that night. I

gave you shit about it, because I thought it was incredible you

couldn’t even remember it. I enjoyed torturing you with it. And

you were so angry, which I thought was kind of adorable.”

“Well, that I remember,” I said, smirking.

“It was like you gave yourself over to me that night, Boone.”

Wade came over to me and placed his hands on my shoulders. “It

was more passionate than anything I ever…you…you took my

breath away. I woke up the next morning and you were gone. I

was so pissed and afraid I might not ever see you again.”

“And the next afternoon…”

Wade nodded. “There you were, tripping over your skis.”

“Like a damn freak.”

“It was instantaneous. I wanted you again, right there.” Wade

slid his hands up either side of my neck, caressing my cheeks

with his thumbs. “To bend you right over the reservation desk

and experience that magic all over again.”

Life in fusion
219

“That I remember as well.” I ran my hands up his chest and

behind his neck as he leaned in and kissed me on the forehead.

Wade exhaled a long slow breath of air. “So when I feel you

pulling away from me—little pieces at a time—it scares the hell

out of me, Boone. It’s like you’re keeping score somewhere inside

that amazingly sexy head of yours, and I never know exactly

where I sit on your pros versus cons list.”

“I never meant for you to feel that way, Wade.”

“I know. And I realize I’m asking a lot from you, but it’s not

as if I’m not taking a giant leap of faith here too. And I get that

you’re giving up a lot more, Boone. I really and truly do. But I

think you took a piece of me away with you that first night.”

“And you want it back?” I asked, trying to crack a joke.

From the look on his face I could tell he wasn’t in the mood.

“Not the right time, I can see that now.”

“Just don’t act like I’m crazy for falling in love with you…for

asking you to stay with me. You may not remember, but I do.”

It was like the wind had been knocked out of me, which was

why I’d tried to squelch the intensity with sarcasm. I detested

the fact that I couldn’t remember what he did—he’d experienced

something with me and I missed it…falling in love with me while

I was sleepwalking.

“I’ll make a deal with you,” Wade began, shooting me a dirty

look when I rolled my eyes. “Ignoring you.” He smiled. “How

‘bout I stop judging you for being scared and concerned about

whether or not we’re going to work, and you stop condemning

me for trusting that we will?”

I nodded, giving him a peck on the lips. “I’m sorry.”

He gave a no-biggie shrug. “Me too.”

“I
wish
I could remember.”

“Me too,” he said again.

“I don’t suppose you happened to have recorded it?”

Wade grinned, kissing my forehead again. “You’re a sick man.”

220 Ethan Day

“I’m just saying…it would be kinda handy in this particular

situation.”

Wade shoved away from me and headed for the door. “I’m

going to bed, asshole.”

I stood there, feeling good and guilty, also relieved as I turned

and rinsed out the washcloth.

“Come to bed, damn it!” he yelled at me from the bedroom.

“Be there in a minute, Mr. Bossy-butt.”

I laughed, hearing him grumbling something about the fact

I wore his ass out. I wore his ass out, I thought, wondering if

I’d even be able to sit down tomorrow. I stared at my reflection

in the mirror as I shut off the water. I got as close as I could,

stopping just before my features began to blur. Gazing into my

own eyes, I reminded myself that it was okay to be happy. That

maybe…just maybe, the world wouldn’t spin off its axis should

Boone Daniels get what he wanted.

“Quit starin’ at yourself and come to bed you egomaniac!”

Wade yelled from the other room.

I grinned, winked at myself, and, for probably the first time

ever, did what I was told.

q q q

I was milling around the drug store, which somehow managed

to successfully merge the modern conveniences of today with

the old-timey spirit of the building it inhabited. I made my way

up and down the aisles while waiting for Lynn to take a break so

we could talk records. I was quite thankful at the moment; happy

that I might be able to make another new friend and colleague

in the Summit. The extra benefit with Lynn was she’d be more

likely to oblige me when I handed her a list of all my preferred

products to order and keep on hand.

I laughed at my own, self centered, evilness as I made my way

down the final aisle, smiling when I came across the condoms.

“Back for more latex?” Chip’s voice called out from behind

me.

Life in fusion
221

I turned to face him, seeing he was dressed in his stock and

trade jeans and t-shirt ensemble.

“What’s it to you?” I asked, not wanting to discuss this topic

considering Wade and I had pretty much been screwing without

condoms for weeks now. I felt my face flush, realizing I was still

embarrassed by that fact.

“I’ll take that as a yes considering your face just went beet

red.”

Chip seemed half interested, though I couldn’t imagine for

what reason—unless he was now Gabe’s spy?

“And hey…thanks by the way for pitting my best friend

against my boyfriend in your quest to get laid, asshole.”

“You picked up on that huh?” Chip smiled, not bothering to

even fake remorse.

“The people up in the International Space Station picked up

on that,” I said.

“He really hates Wade,” Chip said, snickering.

“Lovely.” I sighed, getting more frustrated by the minute.

“He’s kinda hot, your friend,” Chip continued, grinning like a

giddy little girl. “Hope he’s planning to visit more often.”

“If you hurt him I’ll kick your ass from one side of this valley

to the other, you get me?”

Chip dropped his basket onto the floor and held up in hands

to surrender.

“Don’t try to out smart-ass me, either, punk.” I squinted at

him and shoved two crooked fingers in his face like I was about

hex him.
Must put that on top of my to-do list. Learn how to hex.
“And

I wouldn’t know if he was planning a trip back, since he left

without saying goodbye.”

Chip rolled his eyes and let his arms fall to his sides. “I’m

sorry about that. I actually like you, which is saying something.”

“Lucky me.” I smirked, wondering what I’d done in a past

life to deserve a friend like Chip. “If you wanna be friends, then

222 Ethan Day

you might try not theoretically kneeing me in the crotch in your

future attempts at getting your cock sucked.”

“I said I was sorry,” Chip said, getting huffy as he snatched his

basket back up off the floor.

“And you’d better have returned the favor and sucked his

socks off.” I poked him in the chest with my two hex-fingers.

“He might be complete and total brat-shit at the moment, but

he’s not the type that normally sleeps around, so I hope you

made it worth his while.”

“He might have mentioned that…a few hundred times.” Chip

was grinning again. “I never do this, I
never
do this. Seriously, I

really
never do this.”

I was trying not to smile, but Chip did a dead-on impersonation

of Gabe.

“You’re a nice guy,” Chip said, as if it hurt him to dole out a

compliment of any kind. “All worried about your friend’s sex life

when he’s on your ass the way he is.”

“I happen to enjoy a little ass play,” I said, not wanting to

accept his begrudgingly given compliment.

“So I hear,” Chip said under his breath.

“Unfortunately for you, hearing about my ass is as close as

you’re ever going to get.”

I turned, sticking it out as I walked off, listening to Chip

laughing under his breath. I saw him giving me a diva-snap

through the reflection of one of the round shoplifting mirrors

hanging up in the corner of the aisle.

I rolled my eyes at the gesture, but didn’t stop to argue with

him over its accuracy. Considering I wanted to diva-ram his head

through one of the metal shelves for fucking around with the

very precarious nature of me and my BFF’s relationship, a snap

would be the least of his fucking problems had I not vacated his

presence.

“Don’t forget your cake!” Julie said, chasing after me with it

as I strolled down the hospital corridor carrying the small box of

personal items from my desk and locker. They’d tied the entire

bunch of fifteen red balloons to my duffel strap, which I had

over my shoulder. I looked like a damn hot air balloon, ready for

takeoff.

I stopped in my tracks, laughing as I fell back against the wall.

“I almost made it.”

“You meant to leave it?” she asked, cringing.

“It’ll go right to my ass, lady,” I said, laughing when she

blushed.

“Please, you’ll run…or fuck,” she said dropping her voice to

a whisper, “that frosting off in no time.”

I pouted, looking down at my best work buddy. “You’re about

the only thing I’m going to miss about this place.” I contemplated

as she jumped up to give me a kiss on the cheek. “Well, you and

that gym membership.”

She gasped, smacking me on the butt. “Dirty ass man, don’t

think I don’t know what you liked doing in that locker room.”

“I was referring to the equipment,” I said, innocently.

“So was I,” she said, looking me up and down as if she had

my number.

I laughed, knowing how much she loved giving me the what-

fors.

“Promise me you’ll visit?” I begged, giving her my puppy dog

eyes.

“You’re not moving for another few weeks, Boone. We’ll see

each other before you go.”

“I know, but I miss my friends already. Moving sucks.” I could

tell I was getting zero sympathy. “You know, I have some pull

224 Ethan Day

with the guy running the new medical records department up

there. Could probably get you hired on easy breezy.”

“Now I know you’ve lost your mind. Like I’d ever move my

ta-tas to the North Pole.” She wedged the cake on top of my box

filled with power bars and snack food, which, for the most part,

made up ninety percent of my personal belongings.

“All that damn junk food and you’re worried about a little

cake-ass.” Julie scolded.

“Well yeah,” I said as if she were a complete moron. “Calories

don’t count for salty, only sweet.”

“That explains my big booty.” She sighed, trying to look back

at her own junky-trunk. “Another reason your skinny ass needs

to get that cake outta here.” She started to shove on me to get

me moving. “Go on, get out of here hombre, before I put you

back to work.”

I smiled at her then rolled my eyes as I turned back around

and started walking. I panicked for a moment thinking I’d left

my keys, then remembered they were in the side pocket of my

duffel bag.

I stumbled along the corridor, making my way further from

my past and hurtling closer to my new future with Wade. I was

still
simultaneously exhilarated and terrified by that fact. I knew at

some point that feeling of excitement would go away, but I was

now convinced that when that time came, there would be more

than enough left that I loved about him to build a future on.

I rounded a corner, catching the familiar heavenly scent of

steamy black java juice. “My dark mistress is calling to me.” I

grinned, realizing there was no way I could leave without one last

confrontation with Stella, the coffee crypt keeper.

By the time I made it up the kiosk, the few people standing at

the register had left and I frowned. It was unnatural, like the time-

space continuum had imploded. She wasn’t behind the counter

staring me down all surly and judgmental. I’d never seen her
not

behind the counter the entire time I’d been coming to this kiosk.

“That is so wrong,” I said aloud, not realizing it.

Life in fusion
225

“Excuse me,” the woman said, looking confused.

“What happened to Stella?” I asked.

“She had to have knee replacement surgery,” the woman said,

cautiously.

I realized how ludicrous I likely seemed, piled high with cake,