Life In The Palace (12 page)

I thought it was an easy question.

Mr. Perr, “We don’t. In very rare cases there are others that cross over into the Palace but it’s very much the exception. Unfortunately, the past two or three generations have been very hard for our kind. Many of the People have been lost to the Palace. Now there are efforts to encourage those that remain to return to the Service.”

I nodded, “I hear that. Religion’s not so popular these days. What happens if too many of them leave the fold?”

“The world will stop turning,” he said calmly.

I wasn’t sure what to do with that.
Yesterday I would have assumed every religion thinks they are pretty vital. But today was the day I saw angels. Could they be right about this too?

“Why?” I knew it was lame as I said it but I couldn’t just let it go.

He didn’t seem to think it was a stupid question, “He Who Knows All set up the world with a system of checks and balances. Everything has a specific role to play. In order for the world to exist the balance must be maintained. Good cannot exist without Evil. Without cruelty, there would be no kindness. Our job is to keep the balance. We prevent Evil from taking over.”

“Why does it have to be you guys? Couldn’t you just get someone else do to it?”

Mr. Perr sipped his wine. “There are very few from outside who are suitable or prepared to take up the mantle.”

“And it has to be in this Palace place?” I saw Tal’s sister try not to laugh
.

I don’t care if she thinks I’m funny, this is probably my only chance to get it all straight.

Mr. Perr had the good grace not to even smirk. “Only in the Palace is the Adversary clearly identifiable. In the physical world, we’re as blind as you are, maybe even more so with the Interloper working against us.”

“But where’s the balance? You get to hang out in this super cool mystical realm fighting clearly identified bad guys, that seems more like a ‘get out of jail free’ card.” Tal’s sister raised her eyes brows with surprise.

Yeah, take that, see who can ask smart sounding questions now.
Then I remembered I was supposed to be listening to the answer and not gloating.

Mr. Perr clasped his hands in front of him as he thought. “The short answer is that we have less choice and the stakes are higher. For the longer answer you’ll have to follow along with me for a minute.”

I nodded to show I could handle more than two thoughts in a straight line.

“The various creatures have different degrees of freewill and of awareness of He Who Sees All. Angels are totally aware but they have no free will. Humans have limited awareness but almost total free will. Animals have neither free will nor awareness but they bear no consequences for their actions. The higher order of beings face consequences for their free will choices.”

His eyes followed me closely to see if I was keeping up. “The more you see the less free will you have?” I said.

The brother-in-law smirked, “If you’re standing in front of He Who Knows, you probably wouldn’t pick your nose.” I nodded.

“Where do you all fit in?” I asked reaching for another stuffed mushroom. I know I’d been warned, but they really were delicious. At least I could tell Seth I’d been eating well.

“We are somewhere between the angels and the humans. The People can go in either direction. Ideally we reach up and are more like the angels, but we can also go the other way.”

I squinted; something didn’t sit right, “The rest of the world seems to be doing okay.”

Mrs. Perr shot a quick glance at Mr. Perr.

“Of course they are,” he began. “The rest of the world is doing what they were created to do. He Who Sees wants the nations of the world to live happy, prosperous lives. The People were assigned a different task in creation, to not fulfill it is to fail in their mission.”

“When you’re on an airplane, you don’t think that it is unfair for the flight attendants to spend the whole time walking up and down, that’s their purpose on the plane. As a passenger, there are times when you can walk up and down if you so choose, but there are times when the passengers must sit even though the flight attendants continue to walk up and down. A flight attendant who sits for the entire journey has failed to do their job properly.”

I thought about it. “So you People get to be badass and see God up close and personal, but the price you pay is having to do what He tells you because He’s right there in your face.”

“And the world depends on it.” The brother in law added.

I guess no one asks why the angels get to be in heaven and we get stuck down here. Just about everyone realizes that we have more fun. That whole harp thing must wear a little thin after the first millennia. No wonder Tal always looks a bit moody.

Just then Mrs. Perr brought the next course and the conversation moved onto lighter topics. I, for one, was glad. I had more than enough to be thinking about for one night.

I was very grateful for the warning because the food just kept coming. I think there were five separate courses but there could have been six because there seemed be two rounds of dessert. Between most of the courses the men sang and the angels danced. It was the most beautiful thing I’ve even seen, and I’ve seen Seth straight out of the shower. The men started to sing and the angels danced around the table rising higher and higher with the melody.

By the time the second dessert was about to come I was pretty relaxed. It’s a good thing I was sitting down because I was totally blown away because suddenly it wasn’t just angels I could see. The walls of their house fell away and we were in a huge banquet hall. It was full of People I couldn’t quite make out. Choirs of Angels circled the table. Everything was made out of the white radiance of splendor. Light rained down as the men harmonized with the angelic voices. We throw about these words in everyday speech: holy, divine, glory. Now that I could reach out and touch the divine, I saw that I had no idea what those words meant and even if I understood them then it would only go half the way to recount the scene before me.

‘
This is the Palace
,’ a voice said in my head, and I knew it was. ‘
The People belong to Him. What is His will be returned to Him.
”

I nodded my silent approval.

As Tal’s friend started to clear the plates, Mrs. Perr said warmly, “Thank you so much for joining us, Chloe.”

“Thanks for having me. It was amazing. It’s the sort of thing that normally I wouldn’t be able to wait to tell my friends about, but I somehow I don’t think they’ll believe me.”

“They won’t,” the brother in law said cheerfully.

“It was nice to meet you,” Mr. Perr said with a little bow.

I smiled at everyone else and Tal walked me out.

“I guess we’re not study partners anymore,” Tal said as we walked down the steps.

I turned back to look at her, “Why not?”

“I thought after that you wouldn’t want to.”

“Because it turns out you were telling the truth and you really are the Servants of Divine Will?”

Tal’s face said, “Duh!”

I shrugged, “I won’t lie, it was slightly surprising, but not the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to me. Because Doug who owns the tattoo parlor in El Paso, he once lost a bet with Ricky Ray and had to enroll in ballet classes. Now Doug’s a big guy and a walking billboard for his establishment. Against all laws of nature, Doug got into the ballet thing and I once went to one of his recitals and saw him in a leotard. Now that was the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen,” I said triumphantly.

I could see her smile in the glow of the street light.

“If you count the time Spike’s mom made me, Jared, and their dog go to family therapy with them, then this is only the third weirdest thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Tal giggled.

“Is the ballet story true?”

My face said it all, “Only too true. Some memories you take with you to the grave. This was really nice tonight. The food was amazing.”

“I know, my Mom really can cook.”

“We should get her together with my boyfriend, they could go into business together. He’s actually out of town this weekend so this worked out great. I was wondering what I was going to do all evening.”

“I’m glad. I guess I’ll see you in class.”

“Sure. This way back to the Metro right?”

I was almost on the sidewalk when she called after me, “Chloe?”

I stopped, she ran down the stairs to where I was standing by the big tree.

“How come you could see them? I was watching you. You saw the Palace also, right?”

I nodded. “I don’t why I could see them. Maybe I’m just lucky.”

Tal seemed to be thinking it over. When she began she was very hesitant, “I don’t know if I should … or if you would want to … but we have a teacher. She knows a lot of the Way. She might have dealt with this sort of thing before. If you wanted to work out why, I could take you to talk to her.”

I rubbed my eyes, “I’m going to think about it. This was cool, but like your Dad said, it’s not my world. Thanks for the offer though.”

“Sure, whatever.” I think she was relieved.

“Good night, Tal.”

She stayed in the garden until I reached the next block.

*

The door clicked shut behind Tal. Her parents were waiting for her on the couch.

“That was insane!” Tal said sinking into an armchair. “I thought they weren’t supposed to believe us?”

Mr. Perr stifled a smile, “They’re not, but from time to time it does happen.”

“She seemed like a very nice girl,” Mrs. Perr added brightly. “Why don’t you invite her over again. It’s nice for you to have some college friends.”

“But she knows the truth?!” Tal’s parents were unspeakably not perturbed.

“It happened to me once,” Yoni said coming in from the kitchen.

Tal turned to face her brother in law, “It did?”

“When I was in college there was a guy, Sebastian, he like to hang around and help out. I emailed him a while back and he said that after we all graduated, he switched to playing Dungeons and Dragons on the weekend instead.”

Tal looked back at her father. “If you’re really not sure, I can discuss it with Guide Leib for you,” He offered. “But she seems harmless enough. Monitor the situation, but He Who Sees All sends us help in many forms. I don’t see why you can’t continue this relationship.”

Tal was still not totally convinced, “And I just keep on telling the whole truth, even though now she knows it’s actually real and not some mumbo-jumbo we made up?”

“There is no reason to lie. The Way teaches that the truth will protect us.”

Dava smiled, “You wanted to be her friend. Look how beautifully He Who Knows organized the world for you.”

Chapter 9

I
was curled up
in bed with my cell next to my head.

“Hello.” I was too sleepy to remember to try to sound awake.

There was a smile in the voice again, “I thought you said I could call any time.”

“You could. I didn’t say I’d be awake. I had the phone waiting next to me.”

“Should I let you sleep?”

I sat up in bed suddenly much more awake. “Don’t you dare. I’ve been waiting for you to call. How was the gig?”

“We rocked. There were two encores.”

“Nice!” I beamed at the phone. “You must be so pleased.”

“I’m quietly content,” Seth said with mock humility.

“I bet you are.” I was clearly not deceived.

“What did you do all day? Did you close up the café?”

Should I tell him about it now?

“You wouldn’t believe what happened to me,” I let my voice trial off tantalizingly.

“What happened to you, Chloe?” Seth said in a tone usually saved for the mentally incompetent.

“I went for a walk.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Then I needed the bathroom.”

“Amazing.”

“So I went to Tal’s house and I stayed for dinner.” I waited for a reaction.

“Your study partner chick. That was the big excitement?” There was a pause. He wasn’t about to be beaten so easily. “Today must be the Day of Connection, right? Were there Angels?”

“What?” I didn’t expect him to actually get it.

“Angels come to their house on the weekend. Isn’t that what they believe?”

This was not going according to plan.

“Seth you don’t get it, there really where Angels; great big creatures of fire and light.”

“Cool.”

There was a pause.

“Aren’t you going to say anything else?” I asked.

“Was the food good?”

“It was actually excellent. You could swap recipes with her Mom, but that’s not the big news over here. Angels are real.”

“Chloe, I know. Obviously angels are real, now what?”

“Huh?”

“All sorts of things are real. Their existence does not necessarily bear any impact on your life. But if it makes you happy to hang out with angels then you should go for it.”

“Thanks,” I sounded very uncertain.
Does he believe me or not?
It was too late at night to be too early in the morning, so I let it go.

I fell asleep with the phone still in my hand and dreamed fitfully of Angels selling pizzas with just enough cheese.

When I woke, my alarm clock announced it was still much earlier than I had hoped. I had three hours before I was due to meet Bernie. Even the longest shower in the world wouldn’t kill that much time. I tried rolling over and tried pretending I wasn’t awake. I must not be that good of an actress because I totally failed to convince myself. Being awake would mean thinking, and I wasn’t sure I was ready to do any of that.

Reluctantly, I got out of bed. I hurried to the shower and hoped the water would wash away my still unripe thoughts. No such luck.

Angels are real. I already suspected that He was real, but Angels make everything way more hardcore. I always think of the Master of the Universe as a benevolent force that might possibly be involved in running the world, kind of like the Peace Corps. By Himself, he’s all Zen and pleasantly in the background. Angels mean that He is here, up close and personal. Angels mean that if I’m not careful He might actually notice me, kind of like the IRS. No one wants to be audited by God.

Half an hour later I was dressed. No point putting on makeup, Bernie was taking me to get a facial. I gave up any pretense of doing anything else besides thinking things through.

Ok, where am I up to? He Who Knows really is running the world. The angels work for Him. So do Tal and the rest of the People. This apparently is my summer for finding out that Hollywood lies to us less than I’d thought. Seth says none of this matters.

Seth was bestowed with a lot more inner cool than me. I have yet to see him flapped by anything. I don’t want to have to talk to him about this again. I’ve got to get my head round it all before he comes home. Otherwise he’s going to come home and I’ll still be freaking and he’ll be totally reasonable. I’ll be forced to agree with whatever he says by his sheer power of persuasion.

Too late, I remembered that we were supposed to be getting manicures as well as facials. Thanks to my thought process, I didn’t have much in the way of nails. I switched to pretzels, same crunch but less collateral damage in the personal grooming department.

It could be that Seth is right. On Thursday it never dawned on me that Tal was telling the truth. The world seemed to be running quite adequately without my participation. A bit like that magnet Jared’s Mom has on their fridge, “Please sit back and enjoy the ride, I’ll be running the world for you today, Thank you, God.” Maybe I can just accept that there are things out there that I don’t really understand but I’m happy to just let exist, like quantum physics.

Finally I was calm enough to go eat a more nourishing breakfast than pretzels and finger nails.

Monday was off to a good start; I made it to the exam on time and with a full breakfast in my stomach, thanks to the surprise early return of my boyfriend. I waved to Tal as we were seated, but I didn’t get to speak to her until after the exam.

“Hey, I’m sorry I didn’t call you yesterday. Things got really busy,” she apologized as she caught up with me outside the lecture hall.

“Don’t worry about it. I know how it goes. Were you fighting the good fight?”

We began to walk out of the building together.

Tal sighed. There were bags under her eyes. “I’m not sure you can call it the good fight. I didn’t duck in time, and I took a massive blow on my left side. I could feel it throbbing the whole night. I hardly slept.”

“You got hurt physically?” I stopped walking.

Tal turned to look at me. “Sure. If you get hurt in the Palace, you’re hurt in this world too. Thankfully, the wounds are usually muted so you don’t feel it as much, but it’s still a real pain in the bum. A couple of times I’ve had to miss school because of battle wounds. Try explaining that to a prof.”

“What did you say?”

“That I had a virus. There’s not much they can do with that, eh?”

“I guess not.” I thought for a minute. “What if you die in the Palace?”

“Then you die in this world too.”

My face must have been a picture because I saw her stifle a smile at my surprise.

“That’s not the worst outcome. If you die in the physical then you’re dead and you go to the Great Banquet. The worst is when you die in the Palace, but you keep living in the physical. It’s awful. It happened to one of my mother’s cousins. She went around walking, talking, going to work. She seemed alive, but inside there was nothing there. It was painful to watch.”

I shifted my weight to the other foot. I wasn’t ready to head out of the AC just yet.

“You know when I looked you guys up on Wikipedia it talked more about closeness and connection than actual battles.”

“But that’s the whole point,” Tal said quickly like I was supposed to understand something. I let my face convey my lack of clarity.

“We didn’t actually write our own Wikipedia entry; at least I don’t think we did.” She paused for a second. “The literal truth hides the actual truth. We tell everyone about the philosophy and they assume the battles are hypothetical, but actually the battles are real. The purpose of the real battle is to maintain the Connection.”

For a second I thought I saw a flash of guilt cross her face, like she’d said something she shouldn’t have, although I, for one, was not feeling particularly enlightened. “I still don’t get how that’s supposed to help. You come close to He Who Knows and it saves the world?”

“But the closer you come, the more splendor that is manifested in the world and that defeats Oblivion,” Tal explained like it was obvious.

“I guess so,” was the best response I could come up with.

Tal suddenly became very still. Only her eyes moved as she scanned the room.

“Gotta go?” I asked.

“There’s no time,” she replied, her eyes still scanning. “I’ll just sit on that bench over there.”

We’d actually both left the exam early, so I had a few minutes before I was supposed to meet Seth. “Shall I keep you company?”

Her eyes focused on me for a second, “There’s not much to see. I’m just going to sit down over there. But you can stay if you want to.”

I sat next to her on the hard wooden bench. She pulled a book from her bag and placed it on her lap. Bending her head towards it as though she was studying, she unfocused her eyes. And then she was gone.

Of course her body was still sitting next to me. She was still breathing and very occasionally she blinked.

Now what? Do I just sit here? I don’t think anyone’s going to notice something’s off. I could retaliate to Seth by surprising him. But he probably needs his sleep. There’s no way he got a quality night’s sleep in the front seat of the van. I could go to the bookstore and just kill half an hour or so, and then walk really slowly to Seth’s. I could just stay here. I wonder if I can see where she went?

I tried. I shut my eyes and nothing happened. I tried breathing deeply; still nothing.

How come I could do it before and not now? Tal says they’re always telling the truth, but no one sees. How do you see something that’s hidden in plain sight?

I looked around me. The concrete walls of the science block were still there.

What’s hidden where anyone can find it? It sounds like one of
those 3D pictures that were cool in the 90’s. The ones that looked like a bunch of scribble, but if you let your eyes relax then there was a dolphin. Can I do that with my whole mind?

I tried to relax my thoughts. I felt the world blur, my heart beat a little fast, my breathing slow and tingles travel down my spine.

I nearly jumped out of my seat. I didn’t expect the picture to be that clear. Tal was standing, legs apart braced for the imminent impact, both hands clasping the hilt of a large bronze sword. A ten-ton grizzly bear was barreling toward her, its teeth bared and a snarl on its lips. I nearly cried out, but remembered just in time that I was still in the entrance to the science building. I had no idea if Tal would have heard me, and I certainly would have drawn too much attention to ourselves when we were supposed to be inconspicuous.

Tal didn’t need my warning. She’d clearly done this before. With one swift stroke she plunged the sword into the oncoming bear, at the same time jumping to her left to avoid the collision.

It was only then that I saw she was not alone. As the bear roared in response to Tal’s blow, I saw what looked like her friend Cale leap onto the bear’s back. The bear bucked trying to dislodge the new attacker, but Cale clung on with a handful of fur. He used the other hand to catch a spear that Jov threw to him.

Cale thrust the spear through the bear’s head and it was all over. The bear collapsed in a pile on the floor, and Cale gracefully slid down its side like a kid in a playground. Before I could get a better look at where they were standing, Tal opened her eyes. The whole thing had taken maybe ten minutes.

“Sorry, was I gone for long?” She smiled. She looked quite calm for someone who’d just fought a pitch battle. My heart was still racing.

“No, just a few minutes. That was amazing,” I gushed.

She looked at me sharply. “You saw what happened?”

“Not at first. I had to focus. I hope you don’t mind. I just wanted to see if it would work. You looked like it was no big deal to be fighting ferocious animals.”

Tal blushed slightly. “I do it fairly often.”

“What’s the whole animal thing about anyway? I thought you guys were trying to close some rift in the space time continuum or something?”

Tal stood up. I guess we couldn’t sit in the science building all day.

“The animals are the forces of Disconnection. They’re trying to prevent us from succeeding in our mission. If we use up all of our reserves fighting them, we won’t be able to close the sinkhole.”

The heat hit like a tidal wave as we passed through the big glass doors. “What happens when you close the sinkhole?”

“We go for pizza.”

I gave her a look. She laughed at me. “I’m actually being serious. We have our own personal tradition to go for pizza when we finish a mission. It’s good to reward yourself in the physical world.”

“But what happens spiritually?”

Tal shrugged, “The world continues turning. The connection between the physical world and the divine is maintained.”

She was clearly not getting my point. “But then what?”

“Then we wait for the next mission and we do it all over again.”

“Forever?”

Tal’s brow furrowed in an effort to understand my questioning. “We’re the People. Of course we keep doing it.”

This might be the best answer I was going to get. I tried a different tack. “Is it fun?”

A great grin broke out on her usually calm face. “It’s awesome,” she said with a slightly embarrassed giggle. It reminded me of when Spike asked me what it was like sleeping with Seth. Some things are too pleasurable to be debased with words.

“You work like crazy, risk your lives on a daily basis but it’s really, really worth it? Not just because you’re all altruistic, but also because it’s beyond cool?” I was beginning to understand.

The smile was still spread right across her face. “Of course, did you think we were stupid? I mean, I’m glad you think that we’re all so holy the only reason we dedicate our lives to defending the Palace is because it’s the right thing to do, but also it’s really fun.”

I answered her smile. “It actually makes me feel much better. It makes you guys seem significantly less weird.”

“I’m glad that watching me fight a pitched battle in a higher spiritual realm makes me seem less weird.”

That was the most sarcastic I’d ever heard Tal be. I was impressed. Maybe there was hope for her yet.

“Really the coolest part was how you did it in a skirt,” I quipped as we walked along the drive towards the main road.