Life of the Party (20 page)

We finished up
our chores and counted out our tips without any further incidents,
though Ralph had chosen a premium spot at the tables to watch us
work. I hadn’t realized our boss was such a creep, now I was
thankful he stayed away from work as much as he did. Grey ignored
me the rest of the night, he didn’t even look my way again. He
obviously didn’t want to give me the wrong impression, to have me
think his feelings had changed just because he stepped in once on
my behalf. That’s what his continued silence and utter indifference
spoke to me anyway. But that was totally fine with me. I couldn’t
have cared less.

I was better
off.

The week
dragged by. Classes were a joke at this point in the year; I don’t
know why my classmates still bothered to go. I only went for an
excuse to get out of the house. I didn’t have to work until Friday
that week, so it was straight home for me every day after school. I
still wasn’t brave enough to hang out at Charlie’s. Not when the
guys spent most of their time there. Zack and Alex probably thought
I was just a big joke and I couldn’t stand to imagine what Grey
thought of me. I actually cracked my books at home; I was so
desperate for a diversion from my tortured, obsessive memories and
contemplations.

Friday morning
dawned clear and bright, the morning air already warm—an indication
of a brewing hot day, and the last day of official classes. I threw
on some shorts and a tank top and put my hair up in a ponytail. My
mood was lightened considerably by the promise of summer freedom in
the air. One more week of school to plod through, and then we were
done. Then I was finally free.

We had to clean
out our lockers that day. It was almost fun, all the kids running
amuck in the hallway, chucking out the grim reminders of old,
boring lessons and graded assignments. I was going through my
binders, flipping through page after page of doodled loose-leaf,
looking for anything that may be worth keeping. A sudden presence
caught my attention and there was Brad, the cowboy from the
restaurant standing before me, smiling warmly with his hand on the
hip of his tight Wrangler jeans.

I found myself
smiling back at him. Brad was really cute, I’m sure all the
cowgirls went crazy for him. The sleeves of his blue button-down
shirt were pushed up to reveal his arms, dark brown with farmer’s
tan and thick with muscle. Away from the rest of his cowboy friends
he looked less ordinary; I noticed the warm hazel of his unique
amber eyes and the slight blond tinge to his reddish hair that I
hadn’t seen when he blended into the others.

“Hey Brad.” I
greeted him, my surprise apparent. “What’s up?”

“Oh, not
much.”

“Come to take
back your tip?” I wondered. Brad laughed, his smile revealing two
dimples set in his wide apple cheeks. He shook his head.

“No, no nothing
like that. I just wanted to talk to you.”

“Okay.” I
decided to chuck out the whole binder. There was nothing
salvageable in it. It fell into the trashcan with a bang.

He watched me a
moment. “It’s a shame, you know.”

“What is?”

“That we’ve
been going to the same school for nearly twelve years, and we’ve
never really talked until now.”

“Well,” I
shrugged and gave him a smile. “Better late then never, right?”

“Yeah, I
guess.” Brad cleared his throat. “So … you going to pre-grad?”

“The party? No,
I hadn’t planned on it. I have to work tonight.” And there was no
way I was going to a class party on my own, without any friends. I
doubted very, very much that Riley would be gracing the party with
his perfect self, and who knew what the other boys were up to.

“Really? That’s
too bad, I wanted to take you.”

“You did, did
you?” I raised my eyebrows at him. It was still baffling that Brad
wanted anything to do with me—I mean, I didn’t know what a hock
was, I thought calf roping was cruel, and I absolutely hated the
movie
8 Seconds
. We couldn’t have anything in common. But at
the moment, it was flattering. He sincerely seemed to like me, and
I needed to be liked at the moment. I needed a friend, some easy,
carefree fun. And really … what could it hurt?

“What time do
you work until?” He wondered.

“About
ten.”

“I’ll be
there.” Brad promised. “We’re going to have some fun tonight.”

I nodded.
“Okay. Great.” I couldn’t help it, I liked that Brad wanted to
spend time with me. I was actually looking forward to our night
out, to the party. I was ready to blow off some steam.

I picked up
another binder from the bottom of my locker, and for just a brief
moment, I thought about Grey. I couldn’t help that either. Deep
down, I knew no matter how much fun I had with Brad, I’d be wishing
he was somebody else. Because I still loved Grey, as pointless and
futile as it may be, even despite all the efforts to convince
myself otherwise.

But still, I
could try. I would try. I smiled at Brad as he headed off down the
hallway, giving him a little wave as he left, determined to have a
good time that night.

“My
replacement?” A voice beside me asked. I knew who it was without
even looking. A frown fell on my face as I flipped my binder
open.

“Hardly.” I
answered him. More doodles. An entire school year of doodles. I
licked my finger and went through the pages.

Riley laughed.
“That would be pretty unbelievable, you replacing me for a
cowboy.”

My mood soured.
I was glad Riley found this so funny. “No more unbelievable than
replacing me for a Christian. And you found a way to do that,
didn’t you?” I gazed up at him. He was the same old Riley, and a
wave of sadness crashed over me as I looked into the familiar face,
the warm dark eyes that had once brought me so much comfort, the
wide smile that had laughed with me so many times before. I bit my
lip.

“Are we going
to do this every time we see each other? Can’t we just have a
conversation without getting into a fight?” He sighed and leaned
against the lockers.

“What do you
mean, every time we see each other? Don’t you mean, the last time
we see each other before you
move
in like a week?”

“Oh, you heard
about that, did you?”

“Yes. I did.
When were you planning on telling me?”

“I don’t know.
I don’t know if I was.”

“What? Why?
Don’t you think you at least owe me that much?”

“Yeah, I guess.
I’ve just been … afraid.”

“Afraid?” I
looked up at him incredulously. “Afraid of what?”

“I don’t want
to say goodbye to you, Mackenzie.” Riley explained. His voice
lowered and he looked at me fondly. “I know things are screwed up
right now between us. Come on, you’ve been my best friend for ages.
I just don’t want to say goodbye.”

“But you’re
leaving Riley.” My voice shook. “When people leave, they say
goodbye.”

“I know.” He
nodded quietly. “I know.”

A sudden
thought occurred to me. “You could stay.” I grabbed his hand and
looked up him, imploring. “Then you wouldn’t have to say
goodbye.”

Riley shook his
head. “But there’s nothing for me here, Mac. Nothing.”

“Nice.” I felt
the full sting of his words. “I’m glad to know you feel that
way.”

“No … that’s …
that’s not what I meant, and you know it.”

“Whatever.” I
stared up at him angrily. “Just go. Go and have a wonderful
Christian life. Sing a round of
Kumbayah
for me, while
you’re at it.”

“Ugh … you’re
impossible.” Riley breathed. He shook his head and stepped around
me, his form rigid with anger as he stalked down the hallway.
Madly, I watched him a moment, but as he walked away I realized
this could be the last conversation we ever had. I didn’t want him
to remember me this way. I didn’t want to end things in anger.

“Riley!” I
called to him. The hall was crowded and noisy, but somehow, he
still heard. Maybe he had been expecting me to stop him.

“What?” He
seemed in agony.

“Just … don’t
go without saying goodbye. Okay?”

Riley paused in
thought. His jaw clenched in consideration. He looked at me and
nodded, one small, slight nod, then continued off down the
hallway.

Work was slow.
Charlie and I joked about living in opposite land, since Monday
night had been so busy. A few tables were scattered about the
restaurant, but the pace was easy and welcome.

Grey was there,
sullen as usual behind the order window. As if to make up for his
personable slip the other night he ignored me more than ever, if
that were possible. I squared my shoulders and set my chin
stubbornly, determined to completely disregard him as well, but I
was so trained to be aware of his every move and breath and word
that this proved nearly impossible. It was aggravating; he was
always so close to me, but always so far away, out of my reach.

It was about
eight that evening when Brad came by. I looked up in surprise from
plating salads to see him at the entrance of the station, leaning
on the wall and smiling at me.

“Brad? What are
you doing here?” I wondered, relieved by the distraction. “It’s
only eight o’clock.”

“I know. But I
wanted to see you.” He smiled, his amber eyes twinkling. He looked
good in his tight jeans and button-down shirt. There was a little
ring in his freshly gelled hair where his cowboy hat had been.

I blushed
beneath the fondness of his gaze. “Oh … well … are you hungry?”

“Yeah, I am
actually.” Brad smiled. “And I guess it wouldn’t hurt to have
something in there, you know, to soak up all the beer.”

“Probably not.”
I agreed. “Red Wheat burger? Two patties?”

“How well you
know me.”

“Go sit
anywhere and I’ll bring you a Pepsi.” I offered. “Oh, and
Brad?”

“Yes?”

“I’ll try to do
better, you know, service wise.”

He grinned at
me again, laughing. “See that you do.”

With a smile, I
wrote down Brad’s order and stabbed it on the puck, then began to
pour his Pepsi. I was discreetly aware as Grey sauntered up to the
order window from somewhere in the back of the kitchen. He grabbed
the sheet and stared at my scribbles a second, then threw some
burger patties on the grill and dropped a basketful of frozen
French fries into the vat of hot oil. I did my level best to try
and ignore him, thinking about Brad and the party instead …
revelling in how good it felt just to be wanted again.

Charlie came
into the waitress area and replaced the coffee pot in the machine,
nearly stopping in her tracks when she saw the smile on my
face.

“What’s
happened to you?” She wondered.

“Nothing.
Why?”

“I don’t know.
You lost your perma-frown.”

“Oh, it’s
nothing.” I shrugged. “I’m just going to this party tonight. I’m
excited.”

“Uh huh.” She
gave me a knowing look. “Are you sure that’s all?”

“Yes.” I
insisted, brushing past her before she could see my cheeks redden.
I took the salads to my table in the middle section and then
brought Brad his Pepsi. He was sitting in the far corner of the
restaurant, all by himself.

“So,” Brad took
a sip from his soda. “What do you want to drink tonight?”

“I don’t know.”
I shrugged. “I’ll just get a mickey of something.”

“Like, hard
alcohol?”

“Yeah.”

He looked
surprised. “Okay ….”

“Why, is that
odd?”

“No, I guess
not … it’s just surprising. Most girls get like, coolers or
something.”

“Well, I’m not
most girls.”

“That’s for
sure.” Brad agreed, and the look he gave me sent all the heat back
to my freshly cooled cheeks. “You like to party, don’t you?”

“You could say
that.” I smiled coyly. More like, lived to party.

Just then, I
heard the order bell dinging faintly from the kitchen. The food for
my other table was up, ready, waiting to be served.

“I’ll be right
back, okay?” I touched Brad lightly on the arm.

“I’ll be here.”
He joked.

Charlie was
back in the station as I entered, grinning from ear to ear and
shaking her head at me. Apparently she’d been watching us.

“What?” I tried
to play dumb.

“Yeah right,
what.” She rolled her eyes. “Come on, who’s the guy?”

“Oh, just some
guy from school.”

“Really? He’s
pretty cute. Are you going to the party with him?”

“Yeah.” I
nodded. “But it’s not like that. We’re just friends.”

“Maybe … for
now …,” she stared up at Brad in the corner of the restaurant, her
eyebrows raised in approval.

“Charlie, we
don’t have anything in common. He’s a cowboy.”

“So? Why does
that matter?”

I rolled my
eyes at her. Why indeed?

“Do you like
him?”

“I don’t know.
I barely know him. But he’s … he’s not what I imagined, I guess.
Like, he’s funny. He’s nice too … and he … I don’t know … he seems
to like me.”

Charlie smiled
at me. “I’m glad you’re going out with him. I think it will be good
for you.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. Go out,
have some fun, forget all about …,” she didn’t say his name, just
in case he was listening, but Charlie motioned her head towards
Grey.

“Yeah.” I
looked over at him, forgetting myself, and regretted it the moment
I did. Just the sight of his face behind the line was enough to
pang me, to remind me that I was only fooling myself. That I wasn’t
over him, not yet, no matter how much I tried to act it. I sighed,
suddenly looking forward to the end of my shift so I could go and
drink all my troubles away.

“You should go
now.” Charlie decided, as if reading my mind.