Read Life Or Something Like It Online
Authors: Annie Lyons
Ellie rushed to her aunt and flung her arms around her middle. ‘Thank you, Auntie Cat. You’re the best,’ she declared before rushing upstairs. ‘I have to pack! Daddy, you call Finn,’ she called over her shoulder.
Andrew stood up and put an arm around his sister. ‘Thanks, sis. You won’t regret it,’ he said.
‘I better not,’ warned Cat with a rueful smile.
‘Don’t worry. I’ll come and stay at the weekend and I’ll see if Ronnie wants to as well. It’ll be fun.’
‘Hmm,’ said Cat. Fun wasn’t a word she associated with a family holiday in Britain; rain and wasps and sand in your picnic were more appropriate but like many things in her life now, Cat had no choice. It was a case of going with the flow and praying that she didn’t drown or murder Finn Thomas in the process.
‘Are we there yet?’
‘Ellie, we’ve just turned out of your road.’
‘I know. I was only joking,’ said Ellie with a mischievous grin. Cat glanced at her in the rear-view mirror. Her face was a picture of bubbling excitement. It made Cat think of holidays as a child. Her parents had loved Cornwall and she recalled endless sunny days peppered with the odd rain-washed moment. Life seemed to go on for ever back then; everything was filled with light and fun: cricket on the beach, fishing in rock-pools, melting ice-creams and the occasional greedy seagull. She couldn’t remember ever feeling sad. It was funny how life turned so quickly, how the innocence of youth could be replaced by the experience of adulthood. Cat could barely connect that happy-go-lucky child with her grown-up self.
‘Would you like me to sing to you? Or should we play I Spy?’ asked Ellie, interrupting her thoughts.
The options were given as two very clear choices. Cat glanced at Charlie and could see that he had wisely plugged in his earphones and was listening to music whilst drawing. She had never been on a long car journey with a child before. She took a gulp of the coffee Andrew had made her before she left. He had squeezed her arm in a way that was supposed to reassure. ‘Good luck. Call me when you get there.’ It was ridiculous given everything that Cat had achieved in her life but as she pulled away in the car she had felt the burden of responsibility like a weight around her neck. It was all very well looking after the children in the day to day; keeping them alive in the relative safety of their own home was one thing but taking them out of this world to a completely new and unfamiliar environment was different.
Cat told herself to relax; she could do this. All she had to do was ensure that they arrived before Finn so that she could collect the keys and suss out the place before he started undermining her with his ‘fun uncle’ act. She would show him how fun she could be; she would out-fun him by the end of this holiday. Finn Thomas was in for a shock.
‘Let’s play I Spy,’ she said to Ellie with a smile.
‘Okay. I’ll start,’ replied her niece. ‘I spy with my incredibly tiny eye, something beginning with – R.’
‘Road,’ guessed Cat.
‘Nope.’
‘Road signs.’
‘Nope.’
‘Red light,’ said Cat, pulling up at a junction.
‘No.’
Cat wracked her brains and tried to think like her niece might. ‘Rocks?’ she asked hopelessly.
‘No-oh,’ said Ellie with increasing impatience. ‘Do you give up?’
‘Yes,’ said Cat gratefully.
‘Rhinoceros!’ cried Ellie victoriously. Cat was flummoxed. ‘In my sticker book,’ she added, holding up a book from the back of the car.
‘Ellie, you have to choose things that I can actually see,’ Cat pointed out.
‘Oh. That’s not how we usually play it,’ said Ellie perturbed.
According to her satnav, their journey time was around two and a half hours. Cat estimated that this was an ideal amount of time for her niece to occupy herself on the iPad. ‘Why don’t you watch one of your films?’ she suggested.
‘I’d rather talk to you,’ replied Ellie. ‘Anyway, we haven’t finished the game. It’s your turn.’
Cat took another large gulp of coffee. ‘I spy with my little eye, something beginning with – C.’
‘Cars,’ said Ellie flatly.
‘Yes!’
‘That was too easy. You have to make it more difficult next time. My turn.’
After a further half an hour, Cat decided that ‘I Spy’ could happily win the award for ‘game most likely to make you want to drive into a speeding truck’, and this was despite the fact that Ellie tried to spice it up by choosing words that it was not possible for her to have spied at all.
‘But I did see Father Christmas,’ she declared at one point. ‘He’s magic and you can only see him if you believe in him,’ she added with an accusatory tone.
‘Oh well then,’ said Cat.
‘You don’t believe in Father Christmas?’ cried Ellie horrified.
Cat realised this was a test and she must not fail. ‘Of course I believe in him. I love Father Christmas.’
‘So do I,’ said Ellie happily. ‘What did he bring you last year?’
‘Erm, an iPad and a new handbag,’ replied Cat, winging it.
‘Wow – you must have been really good.’
As they joined the queue for the Dartford Tunnel, the traffic ground to halt. Cat checked the satnav. There was an accident up ahead and an alternative route was offered. ‘Shall we listen to some music?’ asked Cat longing to bring ‘I Spy’ to an end.
‘Can we listen to
Frozen
?’ asked Ellie.
‘Erm, okay.’ Within seconds a CD was thrust into her hands. Ellie knew all the words but unfortunately, the tunes had passed her by so that after the first few songs, Cat was seriously contemplating suggesting another game of ‘I Spy’. The traffic wasn’t moving and she was starting to feel a little desperate. Her phone began to ring, interrupting the music. She noted with irritation that it was Finn. Probably phoning for directions. She couldn’t imagine him being satnav-savvy.
‘Hello?’ she answered.
‘Cat? It’s Finn. Listen, which side of the tunnel are you?’
‘We’re just waiting to go through it. Why?’
‘Oh we’re the other side.’
Of course you bloody are,
thought Cat
. Probably already at the cottage putting on the kettle.
‘Yeah just to say, don’t follow your satnav. The accident’s nearly cleared so you’ll be fine if you stick to the original route. Those things take a while to update sometimes.’
Cat was irked. She knew that. She was the queen of technology. She didn’t need him to tell her. ‘Thanks for letting me know. We’ll see you there,’ she replied curtly.
‘Cool. Want me to collect the keys seeing as we’ll probably be there before you?’
Cat definitely did not want that but it seemed churlish to refuse. ‘Fine. We’ll come straight to the house then.’
‘Great, I’ll make up the beds and get everything organised.’
‘Thanks,’ she said through gritted teeth.
‘Bye for now then.’
‘Bye, Finn!’ cried Ellie from the back. ‘I love Finn,’ breathed Ellie as Cat pressed the ‘end call’ button. ‘I wish he was my uncle.’ Cat’s knuckles whitened as she gripped the steering wheel and concentrated on the traffic. She could clearly see the matrix board reporting the accident and her satnav was echoing this and offering the alternative route. Finn had only said that the accident was nearly cleared; surely it was more sensible to take the other road. After all, the Highways Agency probably knew what they were doing better than Finn Thomas and if she was lucky she might even get there before him. She decided to risk it.
Four hours later, Cat pulled up outside the cottage. Not only had the diversion taken them a lot longer, Cat had misinterpreted the instructions resulting in them driving down a narrowing track and having to reverse when confronted with a tractor driven by an irritable farmer.
‘That was fun!’ declared Ellie after Cat had whizzed the car back towards the road. As she pulled off back to the main road, Cat had to admit that this hadn’t been the ‘fun aunt’ experience she’d been aiming for.
They piled out of the car, Ellie darting on ahead declaring that she needed a wee. Cat and Charlie followed behind, taking in their surroundings. ‘Shell Cottage’ was a lovely red-brick, period cottage overlooking a large playing field with a playground attached. A beautiful fifteenth-century church with a rectangular bell tower and blue copper roof rose up behind the field. The clock signalled that it was two o’clock.
‘Hello?’ she called following Charlie through the front door. There was no answer. How could there be no answer? She had pulled over and texted Finn half an hour ago so he knew they were coming. Ellie returned from her toilet trip and initial inspection of the cottage.
‘It’s so awesome!’ she cried, bouncing up and down. Cat noticed that Finn’s and Daisy’s bags were still in a corner of the spacious lounge, which led to the kitchen diner. She heard the front door open.
‘Hello?’ said Finn. Ellie squealed with delight and ran out to greet Daisy. Finn’s face soon appeared at the living room door. He was carrying two bulging plastic bags, which he placed on the table. ‘You made it then,’ he said with a wry smile.
Cat ignored his amusement. ‘Yes and we’re here now.’
‘I didn’t know if you’d had lunch,’ said Finn, gesturing at the bags. ‘So Daisy and I thought we’d treat you all to fish and chips to say thank you for inviting us.’
It was a kind gesture and Cat knew she should be gracious. Andrew had packed some snacks for the children but she hadn’t eaten since breakfast. Cat also hadn’t eaten chip-shop food for a good ten years and the thought of greasy batter and slimy chips made her stomach flip. ‘Thank you,’ she said politely. ‘I’ll pass but I’m sure the kids would like some.’
Finn shrugged. ‘Suit yourself. Give me a hand will you please, Charlie?’
Cat noticed how Charlie followed Finn’s instructions without protest. Charlie had been almost silent on the car journey but now he chatted away happily to Finn.
Damn that man
, thought Cat. ‘I’ll take our bags upstairs,’ she said.
Finn nodded. ‘The beds are made. I didn’t want to be presumptuous but I thought maybe Charlie and I could share one twin room with the girls in the other and then you could have the king.’
‘Thank you,’ said Cat, turning away quickly. He was trying hard but for some reason Finn’s genial efficiency was getting on her nerves. She carried the kids’ bags upstairs and soon found the room Finn had suggested for her. It was light and airy with an impressive view over the green. Cat had to admit that it was lovely. She deposited Charlie’s and Ellie’s bags in the other rooms and went downstairs. Finn had dished up the fish and chips and the children were already tucking in hungrily. Cat’s stomach groaned with hunger as the delicious smell hit her nostrils.
‘There’s plenty left if you’ve changed your mind,’ said Finn, spearing a forkful of chips into his mouth.
‘I’m fine,’ said Cat. ‘I should probably call Andrew,’ she added, retrieving her phone.
‘You won’t get a signal here,’ said Finn. ‘You’ll have to use the payphone on the corner.’
Cat looked at him as if he’d suggested that she feast on a dog turd. ‘No signal?’
Finn shook his head cheerfully. ‘’Fraid not. It’s a bit sporadic round here. Still, we’re on holiday so it’s a good time for a break, eh?’
Cat stared at him for a moment. Two weeks stuck in the back of beyond with this man and no easy access to the outside world. It was beyond belief.
‘Worried you’re going to miss some Z-list celeb’s wardrobe malfunction?’ teased Finn. His humour was ill-advised.
Cat narrowed her eyes. ‘I am going to call Andrew,’ she said, heading out of the house and down the street. Unlike the payphones of old, this one looked pristine. Cat picked up the handset and stared at it; she’d almost forgotten how to use one of these. She fished into her bag for some change and fed it into the slot.
‘Where have you sent me?’ she wailed to Andrew as he answered. ‘I’m calling you from a payphone.’
‘Give me the number; I’ll call you back,’ he replied. ‘Are you okay?’ he asked when they were reconnected.
‘Not really. The journey was bloody awful and there’s no signal in this godforsaken town.’
‘That might be a good thing,’ said Andrew unwisely. ‘It will help you unwind.’
‘I do not need to bloody unwind. Particularly not in the company of everyone’s favourite uncle.’
Andrew laughed. ‘Well you’re there now, sis, so you might as well try and enjoy it.’
Cat sighed. ‘Fine. The cottage is lovely by the way.’
‘Good. Just give it time, okay?’
As Cat hung up and walked slowly back to the cottage, she had to admit that time was definitely something she had in droves at the moment. She just wouldn’t have necessarily chosen to spend it like this.
The first day of the holiday looked promising weather-wise. The sky was the kind of blue that artists try for years to perfect and the clouds were so plump and fluffy, they looked as if they might have been drawn by a three-year-old. Cat gazed out of her bedroom window towards the church and took a deep breath. She could see Finn and Charlie kicking a football around on the green whilst the girls swung back and forth on a gigantic rope see-saw.
She glanced at the clock – it was barely eight-thirty. Cat was used to early starts and had usually been at Andrew’s by eight but she hadn’t embarked on games or much conversation with the kids at that hour; it wasn’t natural. Finn had even brought her a mug of tea with the words, ‘Lovely morning. I’m taking the kids over to the playground for half an hour before breakfast, okay?’ It was more than okay. If ‘fun Finn’ wanted to occupy the children during their stay, Cat might actually get a holiday. She took a sip of tea. Still, she didn’t want to be thought of as a grumpy aunt. She might need to take a more tactical approach.
Following their disastrous journey the day before, the rest of the afternoon had been taken up with exploring the beach and town. Cat had to admit that it was a beautiful place; the promenade was dotted with brightly coloured beach huts all watched over by the gleaming white lighthouse. The town was filled with the kind of boutiques and shops Cat loved. She gazed longingly as they trooped past another shop window filled with of-the-moment handbags and shoes en route to the sweetshop. Actually, Cat rather liked the sweetshop too and was lost for a moment as she stared at the small white paper bags hung on a string, the silver scoops and flip-open tubs filled with white mice, pink shrimps and strawberry shoelaces. She and Andrew had been taken to a similar sweetshop every Friday after school throughout their primary school years. She could still recall that delicious fizzy tang of the first sweet – always a cola bottle – on their stroll home, walking next to her brother, their mother smiling down at them.