Life's a Witch (19 page)

“You think an awful lot of yourself sometimes,” I muttered. “Has anyone ever told you that?”

“You can think a lot of me, too, if you get in the shower,” Landon replied. “Chop, chop! We both know the only thing that is going to cure this hangover is food … and there’s only one place we can get it. Move! There’s bacon calling me, woman!”

“YOU
guys look rough.”

My mother always told me I had a penchant for stating the obvious. Given the look on her face – and the heavy circles under her eyes – she wasn’t thrilled with that trait this morning.

“Do you have to be so loud?” Marnie asked, rubbing her forehead as she flipped pancakes on the griddle. “Your voice is like nails on a chalkboard sometimes.”

“Don’t listen to her,” Landon said. “Your voice is beautiful.” His rebound rate after a hangover was much quicker than mine. After a shower – which turned out to be more “hands-on” than initially envisioned – he was back to his usual self. I wanted to punch him.

“How are you two not dying this morning?” asked Twila, the impression of the blanket she passed out on the night before still visible on her cheek.

“We didn’t drink as much as you guys did,” Landon replied, grabbing a slice of bacon from Twila, knowing she was suffering from delayed reflexes. “We also went to bed before midnight.”

“And downed a bunch of water and aspirin before going to bed,” I added. “We followed that up with more water and aspirin this morning.”

“And how do you feel?” Mom asked.

“I’m still a little shaky,” I admitted. “Landon is much better than he was. I saw Thistle when we were leaving. She was heading into the shower. She refused to speak. I think she’s feeling as bad as you guys are this morning.”

Mom’s mouth dropped open in horror. “I don’t even remember Thistle being there last night! Oh, dear Goddess, we drank so much we forgot Thistle was there!”

“Was Clove there, too?” Marnie asked.

I considered messing with them, but opted to put them out of their misery. “Thistle got drunk at the Dragonfly – and then a little more at Hollow Creek before Marcus put the kibosh on that. She wasn’t with you guys last night. She got drunk on her own.”

“That’s a relief.”

“Clove didn’t get drunk at all,” I added. “She spent the night at the Dandridge.”

“She spends every night there now, doesn’t she?” Mom asked.

“Pretty much,” I said, glancing toward the dining room door. “Have you seen Aunt Willa and Rosemary yet this morning?”

“No,” Marnie replied. “Maybe we got lucky and they slipped out in the middle of the night.”

“If anything could get them to do it, you tossing your bra on Willa’s face could be it,” Landon quipped. “Personally, I didn’t want to see it. I’m glad I got to see Willa’s reaction, though.”

Marnie froze. “W-what?”

It seemed I wasn’t the only one with memory problems this morning. “You don’t remember that?”

Marnie and Mom exchanged horrified looks.

“Do you remember that?” Marnie asked.

Mom shook her head.

Oh, this was definitely going to be fun. “Do you want me to tell you about it?”

“I’m not sure,” Mom replied. “What was I doing when Marnie tossed her bra on Aunt Willa?”

“Forget that. What was I doing?” Twila asked.

“You passed out an hour before they showed up,” Landon interjected. “You’re free from all the embarrassment. Well … other than snoring like a freight train and drinking enough that you could pass out in the middle of the woods.”

“What about us?” Marnie asked. “Wait … I’m not sure I want to know.”

“Well, Mom was having a lovely conversation with a tree when they showed up,” I answered, enjoying the discomfort on my mother’s face.

“You two were having a great time,” Landon said, stealing another slice of bacon. My mother and aunts were too horrified to notice. “I think you were making plans for a bright future together.”

“Oh, no,” Mom said, burying her face in her hands.

“Oh, it gets worse,” Landon taunted.

“Marnie was down to her tank top and shorts when we arrived,” I explained. “She took it down all the way when Aunt Willa showed up, and for a finale threw her bra at Aunt Willa’s head.”

“I was dressed, though, right?” Mom looked hopeful.

“You were at the beginning,” I replied. “That’s the only reason Landon agreed to hang around.”

“Oh, I’m going to cry,” Mom whimpered. “What did Aunt Willa do?”

“She ordered Landon to arrest you for public indecency, and when that didn’t work … well … I have no idea,” I admitted. “We stumbled home and passed out after Marnie tossed her bra in Aunt Willa’s face. I’m not sure what happened after that.”

Mom slapped my arm. “How could you let us do that?”

“Hey! We were drunk, too. You’re lucky we didn’t start shedding our clothes.”

“Yes, that would make a wonderful story to tell my co-workers,” Landon mused. “Did I ever tell you about the time I got drunk with my girlfriend, her mother and her aunt, and everyone got naked together? Good times.”

“You shut up,” Mom hissed, extending a warning finger in Landon’s direction. “And stop stealing the bacon.”

Landon was nonplussed. “Make me.”

“Just … .” Mom was beside herself as she waved her hands around like a loon. “This is the worst possible thing that could’ve happened!”

“Oh, no,” I countered. “I think that’s still to come when everyone has breakfast together.”

“Get out!”

THE DINING
room was full when we entered, Aunt Willa and Rosemary sitting in their regular places. I briefly considered running, but Landon’s insistent hand at the small of my back made that impossible. He pushed me forward and I forced a bright smile for the benefit of the guests.

“Good morning.”

Everyone not related to me greeted us with genuine smiles and pleasant words. Aunt Willa and Rosemary remained stony and silent.

“It looks like it’s going to be a nice day,” Landon said, trying to make conversation as he pulled my chair out so I could sit. He reached for the jug of orange juice and filled his glass before pouring tomato juice into mine, and then settled next to me.

He knew me. It wasn’t the simple act of knowing what juice I preferred, he also realized I would be uncomfortable holding random conversations with strangers given my hangover. He forced me out of bed so I wouldn’t waste a day and regret it later. He instinctively did things to prove how well he knew me every time we were together. His earlier words about living together one day warmed me. Could he actually want that? It was an exciting – and daunting – prospect.

“I’m surprised you are up so early,” Aunt Willa said, her tone snotty. “I would’ve thought drinking as much as you did last night would make for a rough morning.”

“Who drank last night?” Aunt Tillie asked, appearing in the doorway. She was dressed in camouflage pants and a “Keep calm and STFU” T-shirt. She narrowed her eyes as she glanced around the table. “Is that why my wine closet looks considerably lighter this morning?”

“You have a wine closet?” Rosemary asked. “Why?”

“I need a place to put wine,” Aunt Tillie replied in her best “well, duh” voice, sitting next to Landon and looking him over. “You don’t look too bad.”

“That’s because we stopped at midnight,” Landon replied, sipping his juice. “Your nieces are another story.”

Aunt Tillie arched an eyebrow. “Why wasn’t I invited to this little shindig?”

“Probably because you’re one of the reasons they were drinking,” Landon replied, leaning back in his chair. “They were actually having a good time until … well … we had visitors.”

“What visitors?”

“Aunt Willa and Rosemary,” I replied, shooting a quick look in their direction and finding both of them glowering at me. “They came in at the tail end of things.”

“That didn’t stop us from being mortified and embarrassed,” Aunt Willa hissed. “I can’t believe you talk about such things at the breakfast table.”

“It’s the lunch and dinner table, too,” Aunt Tillie pointed out. “This table has been privy to many dirty conversations. Why are your panties in a bunch?”

“Speaking of panties, um, Marnie might’ve thrown her bra in Aunt Willa’s face last night,” I added, keeping my voice low.

Aunt Tillie snorted. “Now I’m definitely upset that I missed it,” she grumbled. “First they steal my wine, then they don’t invite me, and now I find out they messed with Willa? I always miss the fun stuff.”

“It was not fun,” Aunt Willa countered. “It was far from fun. It was … despicable. The way you raised these girls to act … it’s scandalous.”

“Oh, stuff it,” Aunt Tillie said. “If you spent a little more time loosening up with some wine and taking off your clothes you probably wouldn’t be so intolerable. How hungover are they?”

“Extremely,” I replied.

“Well, I guess now is the time to tell them I want an off-road vehicle.”

Landon stilled. “What?”

“I’ve got my eye on a Polaris Ranger,” Aunt Tillie explained. “I’ve been holding off on telling them I’m getting it because they’ll pitch a fit about safety … and helmets … and wasting money. Now that they’re hungover, it’s the perfect time to slip it in. They’ll agree just to get me to shut up.”

“What are you even going to do with something like that?” I asked.

“Ride around.”

“Whatever,” I muttered.

“That’s it?” Aunt Willa’s voice was shrill. “No one is embarrassed by what happened last night?”

“Oh, what really happened?” Aunt Tillie argued. “They got drunk and took their clothes off.”

“I didn’t take my clothes off,” Landon said. “Just for the record.”

“No. You didn’t arrest them for taking their clothes off, though,” Aunt Willa pointed out. “That’s against the law.”

“Not on their own property, it’s not,” Landon countered. “Take a chill pill … and lower your voice. You would make dogs uncomfortable right now.”

Aunt Willa’s mouth dropped open. “That’s all you have to say?”

“Pretty much,” Landon replied.

“Hold up a second,” Aunt Tillie instructed, narrowing her eyes. “What were you doing out in the woods by yourselves in the middle of the night?”

I shifted my attention to Aunt Willa. That was a really good question.

“You know, I didn’t even think about that until you brought it up just now,” Landon said, swiveling so he could see over my head. “What were you doing out there?”

“What were you doing out there?” Aunt Willa shot back.

“We heard noise in the woods and found them drinking, so we decided to join them,” Landon replied, not missing a beat. “Bay lives on this land. We had a reason to be out there. You’re a guest. What was your reason?”

“I … oh, look at the time,” Rosemary said, hopping to her feet and cutting off the questioning. “Brian will be here in a few minutes to pick me up. I can’t keep him waiting.”

Landon made a face. “Brian who?”

“Brian Kelly,” I answered. “They hit it off at the newspaper office yesterday.”

“Yeah, well, that sounds about right,” Landon muttered. “They’ve both got similar personalities.”

“Meaning they’re both total a-holes,” Aunt Tillie interjected.

“Meaning they’re not the type of people getting drunk and … naked … in the middle of the woods on a weekday,” Aunt Willa challenged.

“I still want to know what you were doing out there,” Aunt Tillie pressed. “That’s private property.”

“Oh, shut up, Tillie,” Aunt Willa muttered, crossing her arms over her chest. “I don’t have to answer to you.”

Landon shifted his eyes to mine. “Something weird is going on here.”

“What was your first clue?”

“We need to figure out what they were doing out there last night,” Landon said, keeping his voice low. “Whatever it was is obviously shady. That’s why they won’t own up to it.”

“And how do you expect me to get the information out of them? They’re not going to tell me.”

Landon inclined his chin in Aunt Tillie’s direction. “I think we have someone better suited for that assignment.”

Aunt Tillie nodded, her smile smug. “Consider it done.”

Nineteen

I left Aunt Tillie to figure out what Aunt Willa and Rosemary were up to, stopping in the driveway long enough to wish Landon a good day at work before grabbing two bottles of water from the refrigerator and hopping in my car.

My headache was ebbing, which was a good sign, because my mind was busy. Landon’s offhand statement about sharing a home together had me thinking. What did he have planned for our future?

Before he said “I love you,” I wasn’t sure we had a future. I knew I loved him, but I convinced myself he didn’t love me because it was easier than asking myself the big questions. He walked away when he found out we were witches. That was almost easier, because the decision was taken out of my hands. Now my hands felt very, very full.

The idea of living life without Landon wasn’t something I even wanted to consider. The realities of living with him, though, were difficult. His main office was in Traverse City. Did that mean he wanted me to move to Traverse City with him? Did he want to move here and commute? Did he want us to move someplace in between and lock out the rest of the world? Huh. That last one had potential, especially after a really loud breakfast with my family.

Still, I didn’t want to leave Hemlock Cove. That didn’t necessarily mean Landon would uproot his life and move here. The hangover headache was quickly turning into a full-blown panic attack. I had to focus on something else.

I parked my car near the path to Hollow Creek, grabbed the water bottles, and headed toward my destination. It was the middle of the day, and even though it was nice and warm, no one ever visited the area to cool off. The water was murky and the creek bed mucky. There were better places for family fun and the teenagers didn’t want to risk being caught out here during daylight hours when more police officers were on duty.

It took me about five minutes to reach my destination. I hoped Nathaniel would appear again. If it was only me, and I gave him a chance to get comfortable in my presence, he might be more likely to talk.

Instead of searching the area to find him, I picked a spot close to the water and settled in the shade. I opened one of the water bottles and hydrated as I waited. Unfortunately, that gave me plenty of time to obsess about what Landon said regarding future living arrangements.