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“Can we try something else, tomorrow?”

“Sure, what do you suggest?”

“Instead of drilling me like Major Pain, can we start with this, and finish with the physical stuff?”

Mom squinted, her eyebrows knitted together as she took in what I suggested. “That might be a good idea.”

We walked back to the cabin to get Dad’s sand that was hidden inside the gold and green bag.

Once Mom had slipped on her gloves, since the dust would turn black if she made physical contact with it, she gave a tiny bit to me. I couldn’t stop looking at the last piece of magic coming from my father. It was like pure gold and glistened inside my palm as the light from inside hit the small specks at the right angle. It was so beautiful. I cupped it safely with my other hand, careful not to lose one speck, and went back outside.

The perimeter was all around the cabin. About five feet from the cabin were small pot-like objects which contained a little bit of dust. I started re-filling them and Mom did the same, starting from the back of the cabin until all the pots were filled. I still had a bit left and placed it gently inside the green bag again.

“Why wouldn’t my sand work?”

“It’s not powerful enough yet, sweetheart. But it will be, one day.” She smiled and wrapped her arms around me again. I could hear Mom’s heartbeat. It was steady, familiar and it made me feel safe. I couldn’t imagine what life without her would be like, not to mention spending it in another world, one where make believe still existed.

“Go, take a bath and sleep. You need your strength for tomorrow.”

I planted a goodnight kiss on Mom’s cheek and ran up the stairs. The cabin sure was a magical one. When Mom mentioned that we were going to train with weapons and learn how to do kata’s and other phrases I didn’t even know how to spell, I had no idea where we were going to find the space to do it.

Mom refused to go into the forest, behind the shield and there wasn’t enough space to learn all this inside, or so I’d thought. But when she threw some of Dad’s sand and said a small incantation, another thing I’d never heard her speak before, a door appeared right in the wall.

When I opened it, everything we needed was right in front of me. It almost reminded me of the gym at school. There was a track, which I used for running two miles every morning, and a lot of targets and weapons hanging against the wall. A blue mat where Mom taught me how to punch and kick took up most of the space in the inside of the track. Bright lights lit everything up and three ropes dangled from the roof where we became well acquainted as I was drilled up and down them.

I remembered how my mouth gaped and my mother had to literally closed it for me. If there was one thing I’d learned that night, it was how powerful Dad’s sand truly was.

I imagined night after night what kind of life we would’ve had if he was still alive. Would we still have been on the run now, or would he have protected us from this life? I would probably never have known who I was.

If my father was like my mother, trying to keep Revera away from me and vice versa, he would’ve done everything in his power to keep us shielded, just like Mom did now.

Tim started phoning a couple of days ago. Mom just gave me a worried look. “The dummy disappeared,” she said. It was all she said. She’d had to do what was necessary to keep him safe so she never answered any of his calls. He must be going crazy with worry at this stage, probably thinking she’d left him after nobody found me. I thought that it would be a wonderful experience since I wasn’t a big fan, but felt quite sorry for the big guy. He might not have loved me very much, but I knew he adored my mother.

After the bath I crawled straight underneath the covers and switched off the nightlight. The stars shined brightly through the window and the moon lit up the lower part of my bed. It sure was peaceful here in the cabin Dad owned. I wondered if Revera was in the sky like the books and movies about Sandman explained.

I closed my eyes and played with the tear-shaped pendant that was around my neck. I pictured my parents dancing a slow dance in the lounge right after he came to tuck me in. Okay, so maybe I would’ve been too old to be tucked-in, but it was something I’d never had from any male figure in my life. At least he’d have been here tonight. I imagine them kissing, even though it would’ve grossed me out, but it would’ve been what Mom needed, what I’m sure she still longed for. She would’ve been happy and wouldn’t have to pretend that I was enough.

Then I thought about Shades. I wasn’t there anymore to give her the daily bowl of milk and I hoped that she was fine. I really missed our strange conversations.

I closed my eyes and said a soft prayer and with that, fatigue washed over me and I fell asleep.

THE NEXT MORNING I DIDN’T START OFF WITH MY
two mile run after a bowl of muesli and berries topped with yogurt. I hated the berries but didn’t want to pick them out of the yogurt. So, I had no choice but to suck it up and eat them. My strategic plan was to close my nose and swallow it whole.

After breakfast we went straight to the back and started practicing on making the dagger appear out of my golden sand.

I’d seen Mom do it so many times. She didn’t even have to imagine it anymore. She just believed that it was there and it was.

She told me that the first time was the hardest. Once I saw and touched the weapon I wielded, the second and third became a lot easier and it carried on until it became like breathing. It had something to do with feeling the object you wielded contained. Once I felt it, I would know it was real and that it was possible.

I took a deep breath before I stared at the heap of sand right in front of me.

The picture of the dagger formed in my mind. I could see the silver blade glistening and the snakes around the hilt. I even managed to put a ruby inside the middle, just like the one Mom’s dagger had.

“You got it?” Mom whispered.

I nodded, holding on to that image.

“Now make yourself want it with everything in your ability, Chas. Think of a scenario where you might need it, a scene, even if it isn’t real and make it real inside your mind. Then conjure it.”

I never imagined it like that, and maybe Mom had something here. So I went deeper into my mind. I went back to the day Mom wanted to see my sand and focused on that awful burned down place that used to be a field with purple flowers. I found it faster than I thought I would. I breathed in the burned air and heard the crunch of the grass that was blackened underneath my shoes. The soft growl was right behind me. Slobber ran down my shoulder and I knew the Shadow Hound was hovering over me. He would be huge and I would feel helpless, but not this time. I had something to fight back with this time, I just needed to conjure the stupid dagger.

I turned around and found his drooling mouth inches from me. His teeth were big and his breath was foul. The black smoke behind him started to consume his body again, until the hound disappeared completely. The darkness crept forward, wanting to consume me. My heart didn’t bounce like a bird that was trapped inside a closed room anymore. It was ready, ready to be strong and fight back, ready to trust my sand.

I wanted that dagger so much, I could see it, I could feel it and then I saw the heap of golden sand right next to my body. I looked at it for a fraction of a second and back at the hound.

Mom gasped and everything disappeared right in front of me. I was still in the backyard of the cabin, surrounded by huge trees.

I looked down at my sand and right in front of me, lying in my sand was the dagger, I couldn’t believe it. I ended up staring at it, the same way Mom was staring at it. I’d finally done it. I conjured the dagger out of my sand.

Mom picked up the dagger as if it was about to break into what it was made of, but it looked solid. It looked just like the one in my mind. It’s hilt had the ruby right in the middle with the two snakes twirling around it. The blade was silver. I touched it softly but pulled my finger back and put it quickly into my mouth. It was flaming sharp and a small cut with blood oozing out of it was evidence that the dagger was real.

“You did it!” Mom yelled with excitement as she enfolded me with both her arms.

“I freak’n did it. It’s so awesome. I told you this would work.”

“Yes, you did, smart ass. Now go hit the track.”

My face fell. “Really?”

“Track, now.”

Loud music blared from the speakers as I ran my daily two miles. I was suited up with a device to count my steps, calorie loss, everything, as if I had to lose weight, but for some reason it was important to Mom, so I obliged.

Then after my two mile track it was rope climbing. I hated it in the beginning, it always felt as if my arms were going to break off afterward, but after doing this every day for the past few weeks, it had really become one of my favorite things to do. I climbed the rope like a tiger and once I touched the roof, I would slide down. My leather gloves protected me from the rope and Mom just looked at me as if I hadn’t just broke my own personal record of yesterday.

After rope-climbing it was a gazillion pushups and sit ups, working out my arms, abs and back. Lunges helped to get my legs stronger and getting my butt firm.

Then it was time to recite what I would say once they came.

My mother would escape the same way we came here - through a Celestial orb. She constantly wore one of those devices on her for when that day came.

I looked at it every night. It was the same thing that Leigh had spoken about in my dream. It was dark grey and had an oval gel substance in the middle. It looked just like a funny looking object with a sticky back that would attach to any wall, door, tree, whatever you could think of and then it would magically activate. The orb let you jump through worlds and from place to place. An excellent getaway tool.

They would come soon as Dad’s sand was almost finished. It was the only thing that protected this cabin from the real world and from the other Dream Casters, good and bad.

“When they come, what will you do?”

“Act like a victim.” I spoke like a soldier, these questions had been had been drilled into me so many times.

“If, by some miracle, they tie me down, what will you do?”

“Nothing, I won’t yell out for you, I won’t cry, I’ll do nothing.”

“If they tell ask you who I am?”

“I’ll tell them I don’t know. You kidnapped me while I was on the run after the day my sand came, I haven’t seen my mother since, and that you tried to change me. Will they really believe that?” I stared at my mother.

“The Shadow Caster’s believe that if they can get close to Light Casters when they are your age, they might be able to change them to fully dark by influencing their beliefs.”

I could feel my frown knitting both my eyebrows together. “You mean like brainwashing them?” I couldn’t imagine what person in their right mind would like to go and live in the Oblivion by choice.

Mom smiled. “Something like that.”

“Will they do the same to me, if the Shadow Casters find us first?”

“I doubt that. I haven’t used my sand beyond the wall for a long time, they can only track other Shadow Casters when sand has been used, and new fresh Dream Caster sand, no matter the color. We’ve been practicing a lot with yours so I doubt that if you used it behind the shield that they could detect it easily.”

“But the Light Casters would.”

She nodded. “Those Seekers didn’t come for me that day, Chastity. They came for you. You were not ready which is why we left them there. I’m sure that Selene already knows about you and about me. So if you ever meet her, which I’m sure you will, just keep to our story. That a woman with blonde hair found you and that she tried to change you, but you don’t know how. The less you tell them what you know, the better. If they know that you have the Shadow Caster’s blood inside of you, Selene will cast you out.”

I nodded. “What if I can’t do this? What if I screw up? If anything happens to you…” I couldn’t think about it.

My mother smiled lovingly back at me. “If you can’t watch, roll yourself up in a fetus position and look away Chas. I can get myself out of any situation, but I doubt that I could get your ass out of Oblivion. I’ll try my best, but…” she shook her head.

“Then I don’t have a choice. You can’t go back there.”

Mom took my head softly in both her hands and kissed me on my head.

“If there is any chance that they realize who I am, they would say stuff Chas, stuff that used to be true, horrible things. But know that I changed the minute they laid your tiny body inside my arms.”

I grabbed mom tight around her neck. “Promise me you’ll be okay?”

“Chastity, I’ll be fine, as long as you promise to keep the golden sand and never show them the black.”

I pushed her away at arm’s length. “But I don’t have black sand, Mom.”

She stared at the ground and the expression on her face told me that she was hiding something.

“Mom?”

“You could still get it.” She turned her back to me and fiddled with her fingers.

“How?”

“Your dark side can trigger it, Chas. You need to be super careful. Any sign of weakness, anger, frustration, anything that can open your darkness, can bring on the black sand.”

I gave an unbelievable laugh. “You never thought of telling me this earlier? Mom, what if…”

“Shhh, don’t think like that. If you feel frustrated, or angry, just walk away, Chastity. Until the anger disappears. Don’t ever wield your sand if you’re not sure about your emotions. It has to be good, in every way before you wield something.”

“I don’t understand. I didn’t feel good when I used my sand on those assholes at the lake.”

Mom smiled. “That’s a good sign, but you need to be careful, Chastity.”

“Dad was a Light Caster. Why didn’t his sand ever change dark when he fought against you guys?”

“Because he was a Light Caster, he was fighting against the evil, not with them. We are not sure what you are yet. You could be either. If the Shadow Casters get a hold of you, Chas!”

“It won’t happen.”

“Just be careful. You only get one chance in Revera.”

Mom glanced at her wrist watch. “I need to get some lunch into that stomach of yours. Pack all the weapons away and meet me in the kitchen.”

I watched Mom as she left. I hated this feeling of not knowing what was going to happen. Were we going to still have tonight together or not? I sighed and bent from the waist down to pick up the first weapon. It was a cross bow. This one had small arrows that had the ability to shoot out one after the other in less than five seconds. Mom didn’t need the arrows. She wielded her black sand and hit all bull’s eyes. I, on the other hand, was lucky if my arrows appeared, not to mention hitting the target board.

I truly hoped that Mom was right that it would become easier now that I’d wielded the dagger.

I picked up the next weapon, a whip. It was another of Mom’s favorites and I learned the past few weeks that it was the main weapon she used to fight with. My father had had his bow. I could just imagine how he had used it, shooting out bright golden arrows at those nasty dogs. I made a mental note of asking Mom how the Shadow Casters managed to wield them. It must be from a lot of hatred.

I picked up something that reminded me of small daggers. It came with a wrist glove which you pushed the daggers inside and when you needed it, you just flicked your wrist in a sideways movement and they came flying out of the glove. It was a really cool weapon.

I placed all the weapons in a small chest. It wasn’t the one that had been hidden in the attic for years, but it was very similar.

Once the room was clean, I went to the kitchen. Mom was busy making her famous mustard and cold meat sandwich as I plopped onto the nearest high chair. I watched her add the mustard and pickles onto the sandwich.

“Can I ask you something?”

Mom looked up. “Shoot.”

“Where do the Shadow Hounds come from?”

She huffed and a small smile appeared on her mouth. “Nimgolians. They’re not as vicious as you think, Chastity.”

“They’re not?”

She shook her head “We each get one on our tenth birthday. They’re these small puppy whisks of dogs, beautiful.”

“You had one too?”

“I did. She was a gentle creature and most of the time was misunderstood.”

“Why do I get the feeling she no longer is?”

“My father killed her when he found out about your dad.”

“What?”

“He thought it would be a way to make me fear him again, but he was wrong. I hated him more than I feared him.”

“Why do they seem so vicious then?”

“Because they feed off fear. We’re not afraid of them because we nurture them from puppies. Light Casters always have that fear inside of them when they see them. As you know, they aren’t your average-looking dog and I don’t think the disfigured face and huge teeth help them much with gaining trust from the Light Casters.”