Light from Her Mirror (Mirrors Don't Lie Book 3) (20 page)

“Makenna!
Where the hell have you been!” Hardin bellowed the words long before he reached
her side.

“Uh-oh.”
Makenna’s face fell, right along with her heart.

In
spite of his angry outburst and dark expression, Hardin swept her into his
arms, crushing her to him in a brutal kiss. Makenna clung to him, thinking the
desperate intensity was merely Hardin’s passionate nature. He once told her he
was often accused of being too intense - overzealous, even- but it was just one
of the many things she loved about him. Hardin never did anything halfway; if
there was something he wanted or something he believed in, he approached it
with gusto. She was thankful she was one of those things, and that he had used
that same method when romancing her. After all, he proposed only six short
weeks after they met.

His
savage kiss gentled as his hands released her waist and came up to cradle her
face. Holding her cheeks in his hands, he broke the kiss with a soft but
vicious curse. “God, woman, where have you been? Do you know how worried I have
been? What terrible things I imagined? My god, I thought they had gotten to
you!”

“Wh-”
She started to ask who, but she knew the answer: the mafia. She changed her
query to a warbled, “Wh-Why? Why did you th-think that?”

“Because
you weren’t on the ship! Where in the hell have you been?” The anger returned
in full force as he dropped his hands. He stepped back from her, his intense
blue eyes blazing.

“I-I
-”

Kenzie
could not bear to see her sister’s face, crushed beneath the weight of Hardin’s
fury. Makenna stood there stammering, trying to work up the courage to pretend
ignorance, trying to summon up another lie; a lie Kenzie had forced her into.
Stepping in front of him, Kenzie grabbed Hardin’s arm. It was like an iron
rail, hard and unyielding. However, iron never trembled with barely contained
rage as the Ranger did now.

“What
are you talking about, Hardin?” she asked coolly, forcing his glaring eyes off
her sister and onto herself. She felt the scorch of his gaze immediately. Maybe
he was not so easy going, after all. She tried not to cringe, thinking about
the trouble this meant for her sister’s relationship with the unrelenting man.

“You
know damn well what I’m talking about. Don’t even try to play innocent with me,
Kenzie! Where the hell did you go? Why weren’t you on that ship?”

“How
do you know we weren’t?” she asked smartly, refusing to bow to his angry tone.

“Because
we had an agent on the cruise as a precaution. When he couldn’t locate you,
I flew to your first port of call to look for you myself!”

Makenna’s
gasp brought his sharp gaze back her way. “Why did you do that?” she whispered,
her face ashen.

“Why
do you think? I was out of my mind with worry! We couldn’t trace your cell
phone, there was no credit card trail, there was no hint of where you had disappeared.
We thought you had been kidnapped!”

“I’m
sorry, Hardin. I’m sorry we caused you to worry. We-We didn’t think anyone would
know,” Makenna murmured miserably.

“This
was one of your hair-brained ideas, wasn’t it?” he demanded of Kenzie.

She
lifted her chin. “It worked, too,” she said smugly. “We spent the week at the
cabin without anyone knowing we were even there. I’m sorry you were worried and
that we caused a problem, but how were we to know you would have spies on board
the ship?”

“They
aren’t spies, Kenzie, they are agents assigned to keeping the two of you safe.
You agreed to protection, remember?”

“Like
I could forget,” she mumbled, rolling her eyes.

Hardin
turned away without another word. His movements were jerky as he grabbed their
suitcases and pushed through the crowd. From among the milling people, two men
- FBI, Kenzie decided, judging from their dark and somber clothing - appeared
from behind them, herding them along. There was no slipping away this time.

The
flight back to Texas was stilted and uncomfortable.

Kenzie
tried dozing, with little success.

Makenna
suffered quietly alongside Hardin’s stony silence. His jaw was set in an angry
chisel; when spoken to, his answers were choppy and short.

When
Kenzie asked about Travis, his words were sharp. Turning his cool blue gaze
upon her, he answered coldly, “Did you consider that? If something happened to
him, how would we have gotten in touch with you?”

Her
heart stalled at the thought. “He’s all right, isn’t he?” she breathed.

“There’s
been no contact.”

After
those less-than-reassuring words, sleep was impossible.

Hardin
waited until they were alone to unleash his fury. Kenzie disappeared into her
bedroom, leaving Makenna and the Ranger in the living room. He rounded on her
the moment he heard the bedroom door close.

“Have
you lost your mind? What in the hell were you thinking? What kind of stunt was
that!”

Tears
welled in Makenna’s eyes, because she knew he was right. Still, she did not
appreciate his tone. She blinked through the tears and gave him her best stare.
“Not that you’ve bothered asking, but we had a very productive week. We didn’t
learn as much about our past as we had hoped, but we did find some pictures and
found out our great grandparents’ name was Hannah. We cleaned the cabin from
top to bottom and had the electricity restored. It’s going to make a very nice
vacation home.”

“Vacation?
You were off creating a little vacation retreat while I was running around
going insane, trying to find out what happened to you?” His roar had an
incredulous ring to it.

Her
tone was frosty. “No, Hardin, I was trying to find out what happened to my
mother, and why my twin sister and I were separated when we were three years
old. I was searching for answers about my past.”

“You
didn’t have to lie to me to do it!”

Makenna
flinched at his angry outburst. She knew the words were true.

A
long moment settled between them, the air heavy with challenge. As Hardin
finally released a deep breath of pent-up tension, he seemed to deflate. All
his energy drained away as he fell into a nearby chair and dropped his weary
head into his hands. When he spoke, his voice was rough with emotion.

“Do
you have any idea what these last few days have been like for me? I imagined
the worst, Makenna. I thought you had been kidnapped, or killed. I thought I
had lost you.”

Makenna
threw her arms around his shoulders, hugging him from behind. “I’m so, so
sorry,” she whispered. “I never meant to put you through anything like that. I
never thought…”

“So
what
did
you think, Makenna?” he interrupted. She realized then that his
voice was as stiff as his shoulders, that he had not responded to her hug.

“I-I
guess I didn’t,” she admitted. She came around the chair to fall onto her knees
in front of him. “I didn’t think it through.”

“That’s
not like you, Makenna. I thought you were the level-headed one, the one who was
supposed to be responsible and sensible.”

She
could not determine if his words were a compliment or an accusation. Either
way, they were hardly flattering to her sister.

Hardin
looked at her then, and something in his eyes caused her heart to falter.

Or
perhaps it was what was
not
in his eyes. There was no warmth in his
gaze, no passion smoldering just beneath the blue intensity, no sparkle of
humor and delight. He normally looked at her with such adoration. Right now, he
looked at her with abomination. Makenna began to tremble, her senses going into
shock, even before he spoke.

“Maybe
I don’t know the real you, after all,” he said coldly.

“Don’t-Don’t
say that! Of course you know me.”

“Do
I? This time last week, I would have sworn you would never do what you did. You
lied to me, Makenna. You deliberately deceived me. You deceived all of us. Do
you realize how many people, how many different agencies, were involved in
keeping you and Kenzie safe? And you deceived each and every one of them.”

When
he said it, it sounded so much worse than when Kenzie explained her plan. Tears
spilled through her lashes and dribbled down her cheeks.

Hardin
averted his eyes, no longer able to look at her. “You two tricked the Rangers
into flying you to where you wanted to go, with no thought to all the resources
you were wasting. And once we realized you weren’t on board the ship, do you
have any idea how many people were looking for you? Coast Guard, FBI, Rangers,
Homeland Security, Customs, state and local police in multiple cities, multiple
states. The list goes on.”

“I-I
had no idea,” she whispered in horror. As he detailed some of the efforts used
to look for them, she berated herself for agreeing to Kenzie’s scheme. Hardin
was right, this was so unlike her!

Hardin
was shaking his head slowly. The expression on his face could only be described
as tortured. “I don’t know, Makenna. I just don’t know anymore.”

Her
heart stopped. It literally stalled in her chest, dragging slowly through a
full beat. “Wh-Wh-What are you talking about?” she managed to breathe.

She
almost wished he still avoided her eyes. If he hadn’t finally looked at her,
she would not have seen the utter desolation in his normally intense blue gaze.
Without their luster, they looked defeated. Lost.

“You.
Us. Maybe we moved too fast. Maybe we didn’t take the time to really get to
know one another.”

His
words shattered her heart into a million pieces. Makenna stared at him in
shock, too stunned to say a word. All she could do was tremble as ice settled
into her soul.

Hardin’s
hand was unsteady as he reached out to touch an auburn curl. He kept his eyes
on the task as he tucked the tendril behind her ear. “I could have sworn….” His
voice was low and raw. He swallowed hard and picked up a new thought. “I
thought I knew you so well. But I guess I was wrong.”

“That-That’s
not true!” she whispered desperately. “You do know me. You know the important
things.”

“Maybe
that’s the thing.” His voice was sad. “Maybe what’s important to me isn’t so
important to you. Things like honesty and truthfulness.”

“How
can you say that to me? I’m sorry I deceived you, Hardin, but there were
extenuating circumstances! You have no idea what it’s like, not knowing what
happened to your own mother. There is literally a piece of myself missing, and
sometimes I think I will go insane if I don’t find the truth, once and for all.
Our father erased their electronic trail, so we knew we had to look for a more
tangible link to the past. And we couldn’t do that here. We had to go back to
New Hampshire.”

“I’m
not arguing that, Makenna. I’m saying you didn’t have to lie and cheat to get
there.”

“Really?
If we had come to you and said we were going up there, what would you have
said?”

“That
you would have to clear it with the Rangers in charge of your safety.”

“Exactly.
Then the FBI would have gotten involved. And they would have called in New
Hampshire police and maybe one or two more agencies. Before we knew it, a dozen
people would be following us around. Not to mention that all the activity would
have flagged the attention of whomever it is that’s still after us. It would be
like traveling with a three ring circus.” Her green eyes snapped with growing
indignation. “And you know good and well, you would never have agreed to any of
it! You would have said it was too dangerous, too reckless, that we needed to
wait to go.”

“And
you would have known I was right.”

She
could not argue his quietly spoken words, so she found another point to defend.
“We had a solid plan. If there hadn’t been an agent on-board the ship, no one
would have been the wiser. No one knew we were booked for that cruise, so no
one was looking for us. If you Rangers had left well enough alone, none of this
misunderstanding would have happened in the first place!”

“If
you had been honest, none of this would have happened in the first place!” he
yelled in correction. He jumped to his feet, shoving past her roughly.

“Again,
there were extenuating circumstances,” she insisted coldly. “It’s not like I’m
a habitual liar, you know.”

“No,
I don’t know!” he said, whirling around to glare at her. “When I first met you,
what did you tell me your name was?”

“Kenzie.”
Her chin was still jutted out stubbornly, but her voice lost some of its
bravado.

“The
first time I kissed you, who did I think I was kissing?”

“Kenzie.”
Her voice faltered.

“When
we were in that cabin and we almost made love, who would I have thought I was
making love to?”

Her
answer was little more than a whisper. “Kenzie.”

“You
let me believe you were someone else. You
told
me you were someone else.
It wasn’t until I insisted you go to the hospital with your leg that you
finally told me the truth. And the only reason you did it then was because the
doctor called you by your real name. All that time, you let me believe you were
really your friend.” His voice was cold and flat when he summarized, “So, no,
Makenna, I don’t know. I don’t know that you’re not a habitual liar. Apparently
I don’t know you at all!”

Tears
streamed down her ashen face. “You can’t mean that.”

“Tell
me something, Makenna. When do you plan to marry me?” he asked suddenly.

“You
mean, what date?” she squeaked. “I-I don’t know. Soon. I hope.”

“But
after you get this all settled about what really happened to your mother?”

“I-I
know you don’t understand, Hardin, but I have to know the truth,” she
whispered. She fisted her hand and put it over her belly. “It’s like a little
fire burning inside me. It started out with just a flame, but it keeps getting
bigger and brighter. I’m afraid it’s going to consume me, if I don’t find out
the truth.” She shook her head helplessly. “It’s the only way to put it out.”

“I
know about that fire, Makenna,” he said lowly. “I felt it the first time I saw
you. Marrying you has become my single most goal in life. I want to marry you
and have a family with you, and I want to do it now, not when we get around to
it.” Sometime during his eloquent but raw speech, he had shifted toward the
door. “
That’s
the fire that burns inside of me.”

“I
want the same thing, Hardin, you must know that.” Her eyes were wild with panic.

He
nodded, but the movement was sad and slow. “I do,” he admitted. “But you want
it after. After Kenzie gets her life together, after you find out about your
mother, after all the pieces of all the puzzles around you fall into place. I
want it now.” He continued to back toward the door, until his hand touched the
doorknob. His voice was on the verge of total heartbreak as he said softly,
“Another difference of what we think is important, I suppose.”

“Hardin,
don’t do this,” she begged. “I love you. I want to marry you.”

“Do
you?”

“How-how
can you even ask that!” The tears were falling so hard she could barely see.
She shoved them away angrily, scampering after him.

“Because
you lied to me, Makenna. Again. After we swore we would always be honest with one
another.”

“And
I’m sorry. I should have never gone along with it.”

“You
said that last time,” he reminded her. “And I have a feeling it will always be
that way. Kenzie will come up with some hair-brained scheme, and you’ll just
fall right in line, even when you know better.”

“You
make it sound like I don’t have a mind of my own!”

Hardin’s
face puckered in a frown. Her logic of defending herself did not make sense.
“Okay, so maybe next time it will be your hair-brained idea. The problem is,
there will be a next time. And it will present you with another challenge: do
you tell the truth to the man you supposedly love, or do you lie to him?
Again.”

Makenna’s
chin snapped up in defiance. “I don’t ‘supposedly love’ you. I love you, more
than you’ll probably ever know. And don’t you dare act so superior with me. You
lied, too, you know, when we first met. You never told me you were a Ranger.
You didn’t tell me you were there to spy on Kenzie. And for that matter, you
knew there would be an agent on the ship, and you never told me that, either,
so that’s a lie by omission!”

She
expected more fireworks. What she got was a quietly asked question. “Is this
how you justified lying to me?”

She
was courageous enough to own her mistake. “No. Lying to you can’t be justified.
I was wrong to mislead you that way. I was wrong to deceive the people who were
trying to protect me.”

“But?”
he prodded. “I hear the ‘but’ in your voice, I see it in your eyes.”

Makenna
lifted her chin. “But this was something I had to do. I’m sorry for the trouble
I caused and I’m especially sorry for the heartache I brought upon you.” Her
eyes turned troubled, dwelling on the pain he had endured at her expense. She
forced herself to focus and to be brutally honest, something she should have
done days ago. “But I’m not sorry I went.” Her words were soft, low but
determined.

Hardin
stared at her for a long time, his blue gaze unreadable. A nerve worked along
the angry set of his jaw, jumping just above the thin line of his neatly
trimmed beard. His teeth ground together as his lips puckered in determination.
A blaze flared in his eyes before flickering out and leaving the blue depths
empty and cold.

Finally
he spoke, and the voice did not even sound like his own. “Then I guess there’s
nothing else to say.”