Light My Fire (12 page)

That seemed to reassure her. “Okay.” She stepped away then Dean placed his hand on her waist.

Motherfucker.

He guided her behind the curtain. I returned to my office and watched the show from the privacy of my tinted glass. Whenever Prudence was on stage, my eyes never left her face. She rocked the show, just like I knew she would. And she made everyone fall
in love with her. Just like she did to me.

Chapter Twenty-One

♬

Prudence Clearwater

Time sped up while I did the show. Luckily, I couldn’t see the audience while I sang. It made it a million
times easier. I’ve never been on TV before, so that was new. I was told not to look at the cameras so I never did.

But I thought I made an idiot out of myself. Luckily, when I said something stupid, the crowd laughed. They probably thought I was trying to be funny. No. I was just an ignorant Brit.

When I asked to see Cash after the show, I had no idea what I was thinking. It just flew out of my mouth. I didn’t want him to know I was pathetically in love with him and I cried over him every single day, but seeing him stand in front of me made my brain turn to jelly. And that hug…he probably wanted to pull away as soon as we touched but I grabbed onto him for dear life. He must know I’m in love with him…it’s so obvious. Now I felt foolish.

Dean greeted me backstage like he always did. “You did great.”

“Thank you. I’m just glad it’s over.”

“You’ll get more confidence as you go along.”

“I sure hope so…”

He pulled me aside and gave me a serio
us look. “How’d it go with Cash?”

I moaned quietly. “I miss him so much.”

He gave me a sympathetic look. “I know…” He pulled me to his chest and hugged me. “It’ll get easier. And I think he’s an idiot for not loving you. And now the world thinks so too.”

“Thank you, Dean.”

He pulled away then pressed his forehead to mine. “And it worked out for me.”

I rolled my eyes. “You haven’t seen my true colors. I’m a crazy slob.”

“I have some skeletons too. But I look forward to revealing them to you.”

I saw a shadow move a few feet away. When I looked, I saw Cash standing in the corner. His dark suit made him difficult to distinguish. My heart moved into my throat like it always did. “Dean, can I have a moment?”

He glanced at Cash. “I’ll put everything in the car and wait for you there.”

“Thank you.”

Dean walked past Cash without looking at him. Then Cash slowly reached me.  His hands were in his pockets, and his face appeared stoic. I had no idea what he was thinking, if he was thinking anything at all.

“You were wonderful,” he finally said.

“Thank you.” I took a deep breath. “I’ve never been so nervous in my entire life.”

“You hid it well.”

Cash always made me feel better about myself. He never kicked me when I was down, and he always pulled me back to my feet when I fell. He was the greatest best friend a girl could ask for. And I missed him desperately.

“You’re going to be very popular,” he said. “Don’t forget all the little people.” He winked at me.

Ugh. I loved it when he did that. Did he have to do that now?
“I’ll always be a little person, no matter how much money I make or how successful I am.”

His eyes softened. “Fame always changes people. But it will never change you.”

“I sure hope not.”

The silence stretched between us. I asked him to see me after the show, but now I couldn’t think of a reason.

“How’s Jeremy?”

My brother? Oh. I haven’t really talked to him. But should I tell him that? “He’s very happy with my success.”

“He should be.” His eyes lightened slightly

“And how are you?” I wanted to know more about his life but I didn’t want any specifics. If he was fucking someone
, I didn’t want to know about it.

“I’m well.” His face was expressionless. He almost seemed bored.

And that didn’t give me much to work with. I waited for him to ask questions about me but he never did. Then it became awkward…

“I guess I should go…” I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, not knowing well else to do with myself.

“Yeah.” He didn’t reach for me. His hands were still deep in his pockets.

If this was the last time I was going to see him, I wanted to feel him again. Without thinking about his reaction, I wrapped my arms around him and breathed in his scent. He smelled like Cash. And I missed it so much. I controlled my emotions so I wouldn’t cry. But it was so hard.

I leaned my head against his chest and closed my eyes. For just a moment in time, I believed we were together again. That he was mine and loved me with his whole heart. It was pathetic but I didn’t care. It was my fantasy. Luckily, Cash was too much of a gentleman to reject my affection.

“Have dinner with me tomorrow,” he whispered.

My heart accelerated in my chest.

“There are a few contacts I want you to have. I can get you on a few talk shows and a few sets.”

Oh. It was business. Of course it was.
“Okay.”

Cash didn’t pull away. “Can you meet me at seven?”

I’m surprised he didn’t offer to pick me up. I needed to move on from the luxuries I had with Cash. Now I was just another woman in this city, someone he could add to his list. I should be angry with myself for allowing myself to be on that list, but I couldn’t. It was the greatest time of my life. “Yes.”

“I’ll see you at McCormick’s.” He pulled away.

The restaurant where we had our first date? That was odd…”Okay.”

He gave me a slight nod. “Goodbye, Prudence.
”

After he walked away, I was rooted to the spot. His scent was still strong in my nose. After I regained the ability to move my feet, I left the studio and walked to Dean’s car. As soon as I sat inside, I replayed my interaction with Cash, wanting to savor it.

“What happened?” Dean asked.

“He wants to have dinner tomorrow.”

He eyed my face. “Why?”

“He said he has contacts and business connections.” I was disappointed that was all he wanted. As bad as it sounded, if he just wanted a quick fuck for old time’s sake, I’d say yeah—in a heartbeat.

“Be careful, Pru.”

“What do you mean?” I let the alarm escape my voice.

“This guy already broke your heart once. Don’t let him do it again.”

“The dinner is innocent,” I said.

“Let’s hope it stays that way.”

Chapter Twenty-Two

♬

Cash Matthews

My dinner request was impulsive. I didn’t want that to be the last time I saw her. I was drawn to her like nothing else. Nothing would come from the dinner but at least I’d get to see her. And since I’d been missing her for so long, I should allow myself the treat—even though it would just hurt me more
later.

I wanted to pick her up but I didn’t want to be anywhere near her boyfriend—or whatever the hell he was. Even though the guy did nothing wrong, I still hated him with every fiber of my being. I was afraid I’d strangle him with my bare hands then watch Prudence cry afterwards. It was best if I just stayed away.

I worked out right before the date. I wanted my muscles to be as noticeable as possible. The blood was pumping and my muscles were saturated with it. When Prudence and I were together, she was insatiable. She wanted me all the time. I wondered if that had changed—or her new companion satisfied her.

I couldn’t think about that.

I wore the black shirt she complimented months ago. I was doing everything I could to capture the magic of our past. I obviously didn’t make her love me then, but maybe I could do it now. It was a long shot, but I had to try. Especially if I wanted to avoid a beating with my mom.

I arrived at the restaurant early and got the same table we had last time. The wine was ready. All I had to do was pour it. I liked being in control of everything. And now I had the vantage point when she arrived.

A little after seven, she walked into the restaurant. I spotted her before she saw me. She was wearing a yellow dress. It had a deep plunge in the front, showing the cleavage of her tits.
Damn, why did she have to wear that?
My cock sprang to life as soon as I saw her.

When she noticed me, she elegantly approached me.

I stood up and greeted her like a gentleman. “You look lovely.”

Her cheeks blushed slightly. “You look nice too.” She eyed my chest and stomach then looked away. The movement was quick but I caught it. And I was happy. I pulled out her chair for her then scooted
it in. From my aerial position, I got a great view of her chest. My perverted alter ego came forth and I blatantly stared.  Then my cock twitched.

Why did she have to wear that?

I sat across from her and ignored my raging hormones. “Wine?” I grabbed the bottle and held it over her glass.

“Please.”

I poured it then returned it to the table. When I looked at her, I admired her perfect features. She wasn’t wearing makeup like yesterday, and her hair was returned to its normal braid. And I loved the look a lot more than her fake alter ego. This woman was real. “You look beautiful.” The words fell out before I could stop them. I hoped she didn’t notice the emotion behind it.

Her eyes softened. “You don’t like my stage look?”

Not in comparison to this. She was a natural beauty. She didn’t need to be enhanced with makeup and hair products. She was perfect the way she was. “You look beautiful no matter what, but I prefer your natural beauty.” That was a good response. It was safe.

She smiled at me, and I knew I answered correctly. “It was such a transformation. All the makeup
makes me feel heavy. And I wear more hairspray than the Broadway play.”

I chuckled at her joke. She could always make me laugh.

“And they asked me to lose weight.” She rolled her eyes.

That immediately got my attention. “You’re perfect the way you are.” My voice came out angry eve
n though I didn’t mean for it to. “Don’t change.” Now I went a little too far…

“I said no.” She sipped her wine then felt the glass with her fingertips.
“Not by any means do I think I’m perfect, but I don’t want to lose fifteen pounds.”

Fifteen pounds? That was bullshit.
“So you’d be under a hundred pounds?”

She nodded.

“Absolutely not.”

“That’s what I said. Even if I lost the weight, I eat so much so I’ll just gain it back.”

I loved Prudence’s body. She had perfect hips and legs. Her stomach had an hourglass figure and she had a small belly. And I loved it. And she had tits—real woman’s tits. I didn’t want them to go anywhere. But then I realized they weren’t mine anymore…and they would never be again. I drank my wine to distract myself from the depressing thought. “What else is new about the industry?”

She pondered my question for a moment. “Everything. There’s a lot of politics behind the curtain. And my agent even said looks are more important than talent. If I wasn’t attractive, I’d have no chance.”

Because he was a fucking dick. “I don’t agree with that.”

“Nor do I.”

Prudence was very beautiful but she was always humble about her looks. And she thought everyone was attractive. There were no winners or losers. Her ignorant view of the world was refreshing at times.

The
table fell silent while we stared at each other. I’d give anything to know what she was thinking. I held her gaze and didn’t look down. I couldn’t back down from the moment we were having. She’d have to look away first. And of course, she did.

I wasn’t going to bring up our relationship unless she did first. I had a feeling she was holding out for the same thing from me.
Nope. I could do this all day.

“How’s your family?” she asked.

“Good.” I nodded slightly. I wasn’t going to tell her my mom was disappointed in me right now.

“How’s Natalia?” A small amount of blush flooded her cheeks when she said her name.

“Beautiful, like always.” I hadn’t seen her in months. Actually, the last time I saw her was when I was with Prudence. But I wasn’t going to tell her that.

“And…your mom?”

I knew she loved my mom. She gave Prudence the motherly affection she needed. “She’s well.”

“Does she…ask about me?”

What do I say?
I searched for an answer while she stared at me. “Yes.”

Prudence fidgeted with her hands. “Oh. What does she say?”

“She just asked what happened between us.” I tried to keep the pain out of my voice. I didn’t want her to know how much I was suffering without her.

“And what
else did she say?”

I didn’t know how to spin this.  “Nothing worth mentioning.”

Prudence looked hurt but she didn’t press it.

“What does Jeremy say about me?” I wondered if she even talked to him.

“Nothing worth mentioning.”

I drank my glass and let her dismissal go.

The waiter ordered our dishes. I ordered for both Prudence and I because I knew what she’d get. Prudence didn’t say anything as the waiter disappeared.

“Did you finish your record?” I asked.

“Yes. It was a long week.”

“You finished it in a week?” I asked incredulously.

“They were eager to put it out.”

“I heard it
s getting good reviews.”

“That’s what I hear.” She had a smile on her lips. “Have you heard it?”

I didn’t. And I couldn’t lie and say I had. The truth is, it was too painful to hear her voice. “No.”

Prudence’s eyes conveyed her offense but she didn’t voice it. “How’s the studio?” she asked.

“Stressful. Boring. Blah.”

“You sound like you don’t enjoy it anymore.”

I didn’t. But my heartbreak had a lot to do with that. “I’ve been doing it for ten years. It gets old.”

“I could never get tired of music.”

I drank my wine, unsure what else to say. I’d never felt so distant from her. We were running out of things to talk about that weren’t too personal.

She fidgeted with her hands in her lap then avoided my gaze.

When the waiter brought the dishes, it gave us something to do.  She ate her meal gracefully then wiped her mouth after every bite. I cut into my steak but had no appetite. We said nothing for the entire meal. I wasn’t sure where to go from here. How did you make someone fall in love with you?

The waiter brought the tab and I immediately slipped the cash inside. “I don’t need the change.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Prudenc
e still didn’t look at me. “Thank you for dinner.”

“You’re welcome.”
Always so polite.

When we left the restaurant, we moved to the sidewalk. I didn’t want to see her boyfriend but I felt like a dick if I didn’t offer to take her home.

“I have the limo tonight. Can I take you home?”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “Sure.”

She wanted her new boyfriend to see her old boyfriend drop her off—in a limo? Fine. Maybe I could scare him off. “Great.” Without asking, I took off my jacket and placed it around her shoulders. Her nipples hardened in her dress so I knew she was cold. Plus, I didn’t want anyone to stare at her chest. It was mine.

She smiled when she felt the fabric touch her skin. She immediately smelled it then pulled it tighter around her. It was so easy to make her happy. I wish I could make her happy every day.

After we got inside the limo, the heated tension immediately started. I had sex with her so many times on these leather seats. She rode me while she gripped my tie. I pinned her down and fucked her brains out…a lot of memories. I knew we were both thinking the same thing.

Prudence sat beside me and kept her hands in her lap. When she rubbed her fingers together, I knew she was nervous.

“Where to, Ms. Prudence?” I asked her the same question I asked on our first date. I wondered if she’d pick up on it.

“
215 Scion Street.”

I was disappointed. Deep down, I hoped she’d ask to come to my place. Of course, that was wishful thinking. I told the driver the address.

After the limo moved, I stared straight ahead.

She felt the fabric of my jacket
in her fingertips. Her hair brushed my arm and excited me. I wanted to dig my fingers into her hair then clench her tight, never letting her go. I couldn’t believe I was taking her back—to him.

Prudence shifted her weight in her seat. Her breathing was loud in my ear.
I fantasied about her quiet sighs when I moved inside her. Those musical noises always made me come undone. She was the sexiest woman I’d ever been with. And she would always hold that number one place.

When the limo pulled over in front of the house, neither one of us moved. I did a horrible job of making her wish she were with me. I’d make bolder moves if I knew what her relationship status was. But I was too afraid to ask.

“Thank you for taking me to dinner,” she whispered.

She already thanked me but I didn’t say that. “You’re very welcome, Prudence.”

She still didn’t move and neither did I. The left door was right next to her, within arm’s reach, but she didn’t grab it. Instead, she turned toward me, her eyes downcast. Was she going to kiss me?

Please kiss me.

Prudence didn’t move but her mouth was close to mine.

Did she want me to kiss her? Because I’d kiss the shit out of her if she wanted me to, among other things…

She moved closer to me and wrapped her arms around my neck. She clung to me like she never wanted to let go. I immediately pulled her into my lap and returned her embrace. We were both taking up a single seat but we didn’t need more room. Prudence buried her face in my neck and I rested my head against hers.

What did this mean?

My hand moved into her hair, something I fantasized about doing for weeks. My fingers rested on the back of her neck and held her close. Nothing was said. When it became cold in the limo, I turned on the heater for her. But she didn’t move. She could lay on me as long as she wanted. But I wish we were in my bed.

Her face was pressed into my neck and her hand rested on my chest. I moved my
hand to hers and held it. I made love to Prudence many times. I kissed her more times than I could count. And I stared at her more than I stared at anything in my life. But never in my life had I held someone like this, shared such an intimate moment with someone but had no idea what the other person was thinking.

Did she love me? If she just wanted to get laid, she’d ask to go my place. But if she did, wouldn’t she just say that? Maybe she felt guilty for leaving me without saying a word. It was a very cheap thing to do. She was lucky I loved her so much. If it was somebody else, I’d be livid. But Prudence could do whatever she wanted to me.

But she kept snuggling next to me, having no intention of leaving. Would it be presumptuous if I told the driver to go to my place? Would that offend her? I didn’t care if we didn’t have sex. I just wanted to feel her in my arms until the following morning, knowing she’d be next to me when the sun rose.

I didn’t make a move. The moment was too precious to ruin. She lay in my arms for hours. My driver followed my rules and didn’t speak to me unless I spoke first. He probably thought we were having sex—very quietly.

At three in the morning, Prudence finally stirred. “I’m so sorry.”