Lights Out (32 page)

Joe was silent, head down. “I don’t know.” He sounded tired now. “I don’t want him to be hurt, not like me. I don’t want that for him,” he said, looking into his sister’s eyes, his pain showing through now. “I’ll think about it. That’s all I can give you,” he said.

“I appreciate that,” she said, reaching for his hand.

“I’d better get Piper home,” he said. Piper stood and followed Joe to the door.

“Sure. Thank you for coming,” Meghan said as she and Aaron stood, following them to the door. They watched them walk to their car.

* * *

A glimpse into Joe’s childhood was far more than Piper expected. She glanced over, taking in a silent Joe, eyes on the road in front of him, lost in thought, driving her home. She glanced over at him a few minutes later. Yep, same expression, stoic and quiet. He hadn’t said a word to her since they’d left Meghan’s. Joe, true to form, was holding all things in that really mattered, taking care of things alone as much as he could.

“Want to talk about it?”

“Nope,” he said, continuing to stare out the front window.

They were in her neighborhood now, coming up to her street. A few minutes later he pulled into her drive. He sat for a second, the sound of her door closing bringing him back from his thoughts. He got out and followed her to the front door. He waited while she opened it. Then she turned to him.

“Want to come in?” she asked.

He nodded and followed her in. He walked up behind her, placing his arms around her waist, his head leaning into the curve of her shoulder. He didn’t say a word. He just stood there, holding her.

“It doesn’t seem like it now, but it will be okay,” she said, her hand clasping his at her waist. He didn’t respond except to turn her to face him. He looked into her eyes, bent his head and kissed her, touching her lips, slowly and softly.

She kissed him back. They remained like that, locked together, for a while. He pulled back, took her hand, and set off up the stairs to her room, pulling her behind him down the hall.

He reached her bedroom, walked them inside, and closed the door. He turned and kissed her again, mouth smooth and needy. His earlier gentleness was replaced by demand. He unzipped her dress, letting it fall to the floor. He quickly removed her bra and pulled her underwear down, and then slipped out of his own clothes.

He was so serious and sad. She smiled. He returned it, but his smile was so far from the full ones she’d seen the old Joe wear. He climbed into her bed and rolled on top of her.

He kissed her softly again, and then with an urgency she was hard-pressed to keep up with. He pushed her thighs open, his hand going under her arms, and pushed her upward on the bed. She used her heels to push further upward, too, to assist him, hoping to help, to soothe him somehow. He entered her with some force, drawing a moan from her, her legs going around his body to anchor her as he pulled out and thrust back in, again and again and again.

His hands found hers and he gripped her wrists, one in each hand. He held them above her head while he continued his onslaught on her body. His thrusts came hard and fast, sometimes nearly rocking her off the bed. His eyes were closed, and he was beginning to sweat. They both were, but he didn’t stop. He was lost in his own mind, while she held on for the ride.

She lost track of time and just gave over her body to him as he still moved in her. He tilted her hips upward and she moaned, his hips driving into her, the force pulling her over, and he felt her start to come. He felt so right inside her, and always had, from the beginning.

It felt like home to him. He pushed harder into her, a few minutes away from coming himself. Oh, God. She felt incredible. He bent to kiss her, his mouth taking in her moans and pleas as he held her hands above her head and pushed one last time, as hard as he could. She screamed his name. He let go and came with her, closing his eyes at the pleasure that coursed through his veins, still pumping his hips, not wanting it to end.

His grip on her wrists loosened and he opened his eyes to find hers open and looking back at him. He bent to kiss her, softly.

“I love you, Joe,” she said.

“This might not turn out like you want,” he said. “I have lots of baggage.”

“Is that a warning?”

“More like a fact,” he said, quietly.

She looked at him, taking her hand and running it along his face to cup his cheek in her palm.

“I’ll take my chances,” she said, and he stared back; that unreadable Joe she loved so much was back again. He bent his head, taking her lips softly with his. She opened her eyes and watched as he lowered his head again, sweeping her along with him again. God, she loved this man.

Later on that night he watched her sleep, thinking back to Meghan and her husband. Shane meant more to him than he had known, and the thought of having to lose him hurt more than he could bear. He couldn’t voice that yet. Having Meghan bring up their past was more than he could take, and the possibility of Shane enduring her yet again was more than he wanted to think about. He took a deep breath, letting it go into Piper’s curly hair.

“It’ll work out,” he heard her say. He chuckled.

“Thought you were asleep,” he said, pulling out of her embrace, rolling onto his back, and tucking his arm underneath her head.

“I don’t know,” he said, closing his eyes as his hand roamed over her body, no particular destination in mind, just finding comfort in having her here. He closed his eyes, letting go of Shane for a minute. He fell asleep.

He woke up later than he intended. Piper was still sprawled out asleep, tired from his second or third use of her body. He had wanted to hold her, to lose himself in her again, and she allowed him that. She loved him.

Was it love he felt for her? It was something. He missed her these last few weeks, and realized how much he’d come to rely on her, how much she gave to him. Was that love? It was the closest he’d come to it in a long time. He needed to talk to her. He would, but not now. After it was settled, he promised himself.

* * *

A little later Piper woke up, alone. Joe was gone, and it was cool in the spot where he’d been. He left her a note: “Thanks for coming with me.”

“No problem,” she replied into her soundless room. She hoped she’d helped him. She loved him, as scary as that was—especially now—and hoped it would turn out okay for him, for her, for them.

End of May

Joe sat in front of the TV. Two weeks had passed since he and Piper had met with Meghan and her husband. He’d given some thought to Meghan’s words, and had spent the last two weeks in too much thought about his mom and his life—past, present, and future. He hadn’t spoken to his mom in so long. He couldn’t even remember the last time they’d talked. His mother was now sober. What to do with that, along with what to do with Meghan? She was different. Having time away to think and reconsider, he’d been able to recognize the changes in her. This Meghan was different. But did that mean she would remain that way? Only time would tell.

He checked his watch. It was 10 p.m. This weekend was free, with the exception of Shane going over to Taylor’s dad’s apartment tomorrow. That reminded him that he hadn’t called Piper, either. He hadn’t seen her in two weeks. He’d sent her a text thanking her for coming with him. Not his best move, but neither was the note he’d left behind. He looked up to find Shane standing in the doorway.

“What’s up, dude?” he asked.

“Don’t forget tomorrow. I’m going over to Taylor’s apartment.”

“Hadn’t forgotten,” he said.

“Are you okay? You seem worried lately. You miss Piper, don’t you?”

He smiled. “I do, but that’s not entirely it. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something,” he said, watching as Shane walked over to the couch and sat down next to him.

“Your mom is living here now,” he said and watched as Shane sat up, suddenly alert.

“Where?” he asked.

“She has a home, is married, actually, and more importantly, she’s not sick anymore.”

“She’s an alcoholic, Joe.”

“I know, dude. Wasn’t sure how much you knew. You were young.”

“I knew.”

“She wants to see you again,” he said.

“To live with? I thought you had custody of me.”

“I do, and it can remain that way. But I would have to go to back to court if she doesn’t agree.”

“How is she?” he asked.

“The best I’ve seen her since she was a little girl,” he said, and he meant it.

“What does she want?”

“For now, she wants nothing more than the opportunity to see you again, to get to know you…for you to get to know her.”

“What do you think?”

“I think it’s up to you, dude. What do you think?”

“I would like to see her. I mean when she wasn’t drunk or sick, she was fun, happy, played with me. I miss her,” he said, looking over at Joe. “I would like to see her again,” he said, his voice sure.

“Okay,” he said.

“When? Tomorrow?” Shane asked. Joe sat back, surprised by the hopefulness underneath his nephew’s question.

“I’ll have to call her first, but I’m sure that could be arranged,” he said, pulling Shane in to his chest. “I’ll always be here for you. You know that, right? Always. And if you meet your mom again and don’t want to see her anymore, I’ll be there, too,” he said, wanting to make sure Shane understood he had an out.

“I know,” he said.

“So are you headed to bed or do you want to watch a movie with me?” he asked.

“Movie.”

“Okay, you grab one and we’ll watch whatever you pick,” he said, releasing Shane, who stood up and went to his room in search of one of his old favorites. They’d seen them all at least ten times. Joe could probably recite half of the lines in his sleep.

So he’d call Meghan tomorrow and take Shane over after he got back from Taylor’s. Seeing his mother again had been tugging at his mind, too. Maybe he’d see about that, too, he thought as Shane put the DVD into the player.

“Popcorn?” Shane asked, heading toward the kitchen.

“Yes, and bring a beer back with you,” Joe added.

“Sure,” he replied. Joe heard him in the kitchen, rooting around, followed by sounds of popcorn popping. A few minutes later Shane returned and he and Joe sat back, a bowl filled with popcorn between them, beer for Joe, soda for Shane. And they did what they’d done for the last two years—enjoyed each other’s company.

* * *

Joe drove toward Reye’s, knowing it was Saturday and that he was taking a chance that she might be working. He avoided going to their home. He and Stephen weren’t dear friends, hadn’t ever been. They came close to blows once, and Joe knew Stephen only tolerated him because he and Reye were friends. Because of that, he tried to keep his distance.

He had time. He’d just dropped off Shane at Taylor’s. He and Shane would visit Meghan later. He’d called her as he’d told Shane he would and heard the excitement and hope in her voice when he’d asked if it was okay to bring Shane by.

He pulled up to Home Away From Home. Reye’s truck was parked outside. He parked behind it and walked to the door, which stood open behind the screen door. He knocked and went in.

“Reye,” he called out. No answer. He heard banging from the back so he walked in the direction of the sound, the kitchen. No Reye. Only Stephen’s legs extended outward, upper torso under the sink. Joe squatted down next to him and hit him on his legs to get his attention.

Stephen slid out and pulled the earphones from his ears. He looked at Joe.

“It’s just me here, dude,” he said.

“What are you working on?” Joe asked.

“Reye did something to the drain. Was trying to repair it before she could,” he said and smiled.

“She didn’t think you could repair it, huh?” Joe said, and laughed. Stephen chuckled. Reye was a good handywoman.

“How’s Shane?”

“Fine,” he said. “Reye told you that my sister’s back?”

“Yep,” Stephen said, standing up, walking to the refrigerator. “Want a beer?”