Lily and the Beast 2 (5 page)

“I-I’m sorry,” she stammered, still staring at him, with what he imagined to be revulsion. 

“I said don’t look at me!” he thundered, well aware of the way she shrank away from him in fear, her face crumpling with tears as she dropped her gaze to the floor. 

“But you’re… you’re…”

“Don’t ever look at me,” Aidan growled, storming out of the room. 

I stared after him in shock, flinching as I heard the slam of one, two… three doors.  My mouth hung slack as I sat there in a stupor, still trying to string together the rapid change of puzzling events.  One moment I was on my knees, trussed up, having the nastiest, raunchiest, best fucking sex of my life, and the next moment I was falling into blackness.  I hadn’t been afraid though, I’d known somehow that Aidan would be there to catch me. 

And then I’d woken on the bed to find him hunched over me, my dark lover, my beast, my Aidan – looking scared shitless – and
that
scared me.  What the hell was so wrong to make him look so… and then I realized I could see him, all of him.  I saw that boy from the graduation photo inside the man, harder now, certainly scruffier behind his tangled blonde hair and beard, but it was him alright.  His brows were a dark slash above crystalline blue eyes, fringed with thick lashes.  His cheekbones were prominent above a strong jaw, perfectly framed by his beard, which was now well trimmed, unlike how it felt when I’d first met him.  Perfect, plump lips pressed against each other with worry and concern as he searched my face.  

And now I knew why he kept himself away from the public eye, why he wouldn’t let me touch his face, and why he demanded the blindfolds of his subs. 

A thick, puckered scar marred one half of his face, starting above one eye, bisecting his brow to continue down his cheek, almost but not quite reaching his upper lip.  It was horrific to see such beauty destroyed, but even worse was the way his expression pulled into a scowl as he realized I could see him.  The way his eyes hooded with anger and the bite of his voice made him sinister, and I shrank away from the rage I saw there. 

Before I could recover, he was gone, leaving me naked and confused, with a pounding headache and a sick sense of loss at the way he’d pulled away like that.  Had he really thought I wouldn’t accept him the way he was?  I supposed I could understand not wanting to be ogled at in public, people were cruel, but I’d thought we were closer than that.  I’d thought… I’d thought I was his.  Didn’t that mean he belonged to me in some way too?

Then again, I could understand it had to have been something of a shock for me to finally see him like that, obviously unplanned. 
Ugh
, my head hurt too much to think about it anymore.  Moving slowly, I found my white negligee on the floor and pulled it on, wanting something on for the walk back to my bedroom. 

I climbed into a hot bath, wincing as the water hit my tender spots.  I was sore all over, but the red marks on my wrists had faded to a pale pink, and my shoulders weren’t as achy after a few minutes in the steamy water.  My lady parts still throbbed when I pressed my legs together, but in a deliciously sore, well-used way. 

One thing was certain, the elephant in the room was out in the open.  It might not have gone down in a way he’d planned, but now that I’d seen him without the blindfold, maybe we could get past it?  Maybe we could even find something real together.  It gave me hope. 

As I settled into bed, I remembered the strong planes of his face and those bright blue eyes, so filled with worry for me.  Aidan Pierce cared about me, despite all the bluster and growls.  However upset he was tonight, we’d get it straightened out tomorrow.

~~~

Fuck
. 

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck
.

How could he have been so stupid?  Why hadn’t he replaced the blindfold when she started coming around?  And now it was ruined.  Tainted.  Beyond fucked up, and he could never go back to the way it was before.  

What had he been thinking anyway?  That he’d keep her in darkness for the whole year?  He’d never thought it through that far, but deep inside, maybe he’d hoped… that what?  That she’d accept him?  What kind of romantic, piece of shit, sentiment was that?  How fucking stupid could he be? 

That look on her face…  No matter what he did, how much he drank, he couldn’t erase the memory of the shock and horror as she’d seen him for the first time. 

Fuck.

Maybe this was for the best.  Maybe it was inevitable?  Lily didn’t deserve to be with a beast like him.  His thoughts flashed back to
that night
, that final argument with Felice that had sent him spiraling into darkness where he belonged. 

Felice’s delicate features twisted in revulsion, her face pale with shock.  “I’m a simple girl, Aidan.  I don’t need any of this kinky stuff.”

But he did.  “Just try it, you might like it,” he begged, using his perfect smile as a weapon, but she recoiled in disgust. 

“Normal girls don’t like this stuff.  You need help, Aidan.  You’re sick.”

But Lily liked it. 

No she doesn’t, you asshole.  She’s only doing this because you forced her to
, his conscience was quick to remind him. 
You threatened her father with jail, and she’ll do anything to keep him safe. 

Fuck. 

There was no going back now. 

Fuck.

~~~

Aidan Pierce cared about me, despite all the bluster and growls.  However upset he was tonight, we’d get it straightened out tomorrow.

Or maybe not. 

When I stepped out of the shower the next morning, I heard a commotion coming from my bedroom.  At first I figured my invisible elves were in there making the bed and dropping off my morning coffee, but when it kept going, I wrapped a towel around me to stick my head in there.  Instead, I found the upstairs maid helping Mrs. Fisk pack up my clothes.

Forgetting to be shy, I stepped out, snapping my suitcase shut.  “Hey, what’s going on?” I demanded, a cold knot of worry settling in my stomach as I realized they probably weren’t packing up my stuff to move me into Aidan’s quarters. 

Mrs. Fisk drew herself up stiffly.  “The master left instructions that you’re to be packed and ready to go by the time you’re done with breakfast.  Your car will be here in an hour.”

“My car?” I said with a confused blink.  He was throwing me out?  I’d known he was upset last night, but I never imagined he’d kick me to the curb.  What about the contract?  Was he about to have my father arrested?  I sank down on the edge of the bed, my entire world crumbling around me. 

“Yes, miss,” she nodded, the formality fading from her face as soon as the maid ventured back into the walk-in closet.  “He was in a dreadful mood this morning,” she confided.

“I can understand that, but did he say why he wants me to leave?”    

She shook her head, blinking past the shine of tears.  “He left this for you as well.” 

I accepted the folded paper, swallowing back the lump of dread that stuck in my throat.  It was cold and impersonal – printed, not handwritten. 

Miss Gray,

The contract between us has been terminated.  Consider the terms fulfilled, and leave with no repercussions to your father or anyone in your family.  I want you out of the house by ten a.m., with no excuses.  Do not attempt to contact me in any way.  I remind you that the nondisclosure portion is still in effect, and you are not to disclose the terms of our association to anyone, or you will face legal action.

Pierce

He hadn’t even signed it with his first initial. 

“I’ll be sorry to see you go, Miss Lily.” 

“What?”  I’d heard her words, but they hadn’t made sense.  Nothing made sense. 

“I thought… I thought you did him good, in your own way.  He was happier than I’ve seen him in years.” 

“Thanks, Mrs. Fisk,” I replied woodenly.  If I’d made him so happy, then why was he tossing me out on my ass?  Just because I’d seen his face?  What the hell was he so afraid of?

I just sat there as they packed up my stuff.  Not only my stuff, but the clothes and jewelry he’d bought me, three expensive, matching suitcases lining up beside my battered one.  I couldn’t eat when Mrs. Fisk steered me to the dining room, but I went with her anyway, knowing I’d have to leave as soon as breakfast was over. 

When the message came that my car was ready and waiting, I stood, accepting my long coat with a heavy heart.  Was I really supposed to slink away without saying goodbye?  The driver came in and loaded my bags up into the towncar.  Not the same driver who’d delivered me to the mansion in the first place, but he was as impersonally polite.

“Goodbye, Lily,” Mrs. Fisk said, pulling me into a hug too quick to return. 

“Is he still here?” I asked, my eyes going to the immense staircase that led up to the west wing. 

“Yes, but…”

I ducked past her like a star linebacker, darting for the stairs before she could stop me.  “Aidan!  Get down here and talk to me like a man!” I yelled, while the servants all gaped at me.  With a clear path between me and his private domain, I stopped at his office door, pounding on it fiercely.  “Aidan!”

“Get the fuck out of here before I call the cops!” he bellowed back, but all I felt was the thrill that he was there, right on the other side of the door.

“I have the right to be here for up to a year.  You have to let me stay, or I’ll take you to court.”  He’d wanted to own me, well, that worked two ways. 

“Ha, some big threat.”  There was a thump on the door, like his palm had slapped on it, but he didn’t open it.  “I’d like to see you try it.  You’d be telling the world that you whored yourself out as my personal slave.  You’d never do that.”

“Try me.”  After all, who was I?  A nobody.  Who cared what anyone else thought?  I was willing to bet that tons of girls would be ready to give up much more to spend a year as his plaything.  “Now stop being ridiculous, and let me in.” 

“I don’t want you here, Lily.  Go home.”

There was so much defeat in his voice; more than anything, I wished I could see his face.  “Nothing’s changed for me, Aidan.  I don’t want to go.” 

“Yeah, right,” he snorted.  “I already told you, your father’s off the hook.  Now leave me alone.” 

Was that the only reason he’d thought I wanted to stick around?  Christ, how many times had I shouted that I was
his
?  “Why are you being so stubborn?  Let’s talk about this.”

“There’s nothing left to talk about.  I have work to do.”  His voice faded, he was walking away from me, and I lost what little temper I’d been holding onto.

“Bullshit!  You’re hiding.  Just talk to me.  Tell me what’s going on in that head of yours.”  Nothing but silence filtered back to me, and my hand splayed across the door, wanting to touch him in the worst way.  “Aidan, please.  Let me in.” 

When he spoke again, his voice was softer, and near, right on the other side of the door.  “There’s nothing left to say.  I want you to leave.  That’s it.”

“At least have the decency to say that to my face.”

There was a long pause.  “Fine, but you have to wear the blindfold.  It’s in the contract.”

What good would it do to talk to me face to face if I couldn’t see him?  “Isn’t this a bit silly since I already know what you look like?”

“Do you want to do this or not?” he growled, and I quickly backtracked.

“No, okay, I’m sorry.  I’m putting the blindfold on,” I agreed, tugging one out of my pocket.  “I’ve got it on.”

The door opened a crack, and I knew he’d be sizing me up to see if I was telling the truth before he allowed me into the room.  The door swung wider, but he didn’t offer me any guidance to step inside.  I shuffled forward slowly, knowing the basic outline of the room, but not wanting to crash into anything.  I probably looked like a total moron with my hands stretched out for a game of blind man’s bluff, but I didn’t care. 

“Why do you want me to go?” I asked softly, not sure where he was in the room anymore.

“You
know
why.”

“Because of your scar?”

“Because it’s one of my hard limits.  No one gets to see me.  Ever.  Not you, not anyone.”

“What about Mrs. Fisk and the others?  They don’t walk around with blindfolds on all the time.”

“That’s different.” 

I didn’t see how.  “But you let them see you.”

“They’re well paid not to look at me directly, and they stay out of my way.” 

“But I’m sure they slip up sometimes when you’re in the same room together.  I mean, accidents happen.”

Aidan let out a snort.  “They know better than to risk it.  They’re all afraid of me.”

“No, I don’t think so,” I frowned.  It hadn’t felt like a house living in fear until he’d started yelling.  “Not Mrs. Fisk, at least.  I think she kind of loves you, in a great-aunt sort of way.”

“She pities me.  She knows what I’ve become.”  He sat down heavily on a leather chair and I gravitated closer to him. 

“And what have you become?”

“You saw it, you see how fate judged me.”

“Judged you?”  With a scar?

“This is the life I earned, Lily.  The life I deserve.  I was an idiot to think…”  He broke off abruptly and I edged closer, my thigh pressing against his chair.