Lily (Flower Trilogy) (23 page)

He hushed her with two fingers on her lips. “Let me think, Lily. I will return soon.” He bent to replace his fingers with his mouth, but after a quick kiss, he ran off around the corner of the house, his boots loud on the cobbled pavement.

His gait looked determined, and she followed slowly, rounding the corner in time to see him cross a lawn and disappear into a tangle of trees. A wilderness garden, perhaps. It looked more planned than the woods that bordered Trentingham, with manmade paths cut through it.

She would honor his request for solitude. She had little interest in the gardens, and should he look back, she didn’t want him to think she was tailing him. Instead, she wandered around the perimeter of the house, vaguely following the sounds of barking dogs.

On the west side of the mansion she found a yard, around which were grouped small buildings. A bakehouse, a stillhouse, a washhouse, a brewhouse, a dairy.

She peeked in the windows of the last, seeing milking pails, pans, skimming dishes, and strainers. A woman was bent over a cheese press. She straightened and gave Lily a puzzled look, then offered a tentative smile. Lily thought she would have been pretty if her poor face weren’t covered in smallpox scars.

As she walked away, her fingertips went to her own smooth skin. Would Rand still love her if she succumbed to the pox?

She rubbed at the scars on the back of her hand, telling herself not to be silly. She would love him no matter what disfigurement he might suffer, for better or worse, as the marriage vows said. And when she locked her eyes on his, she knew, for a fact, he felt the same.

Behind the dairy, another fenced yard was teeming with the dogs she’d heard earlier. Despite her worries, a grin spread on her face. She gathered her skirts to climb the rails.

“They’re dangerous,” someone said.

She turned to see Etta, the older woman who’d shown her to her room. Etta bore smallpox scars as well, but not nearly as many as the milkmaid, and her large green eyes and curly gray hair made Lily think she had probably been lovely as a young woman. “I’ve been sent to look for you,” Etta explained.

“By whom?”

“The marquess. He wishes to know your whereabouts.”

“Well, then, tell him I am playing with the dogs,” Lily said, amazed at her own boldness. Why, Rose would scarcely recognize her.

Loving Rand had given her that newfound strength.

A smile twitched at the corners of Etta’s mouth. “If you won’t mind my saying, my lady, nobody plays with those dogs.”

Lily turned and looked again. They were huge dogs—

mastiffs—and there were over a dozen. But she’d never met a dog she didn’t like. Or even more important, one who hadn’t liked her.

“Well, then,” she said blithely, “’tis about time someone
did
play with the poor creatures.” And ignoring Etta’s gasp, she bunched her skirts and climbed over the fence.

When Rand returned from his run, he headed straight for his old room to wash his face and change his shirt. Then he went in search of Lily. He was hoping to hear a soothing piece of music as he approached the Queen’s Bedchamber, so he was dismayed to find the room empty.

Damnation, he should never have left her alone. If the marquess was even now interrogating her . . . Rand’s stomach went queasy at the thought. Steeling himself to go find out, he grabbed his surcoat off the bed and shoved his arms into the sleeves. He slipped his cravat back around his neck and strode over to a massive gilt-framed mirror to tie the neat knot he knew the marquess expected.

In his rush, his fingers refused to cooperate. He swore at himself, then stopped when the mirror reflected a woman poking her head through the doorway.

“Trouble, my lord?”

“Hmm?” He turned and, seeing it was Etta, experienced an absurd rush of nostalgia. She’d aged, of course, and she was newly scarred since he’d last seen her, but not too badly. She seemed shorter than he’d remembered.

But the placid green eyes were the same.

Those were eyes one could count on. He hadn’t thought about Etta in years, and he felt a wave of shame for that. But he didn’t want to remember the people here who had cared for him. The people who could be hurt if he failed to figure something out.

“Oh, please don’t call me my lord, Nurse Etta. You’re supposed to call me Randal in a stern tone of voice.”

She laughed, and it wasn’t an old lady’s laugh—it was the one he remembered from his childhood. Nurse Etta may have been stern when it was required, but most times she had been kindly and goodnatured.

“Then don’t call me Nurse Etta.” She came close and took over tying the cravat. “My word, that makes me feel as though I’m still responsible for you three young hellions.” She smiled up at him, looking much like the younger woman he remembered, despite the smallpox scars. “I’ve been plain Etta for years.”

“How did that happen?”

“Why so disapproving?” Finished, she patted his chest and stepped back. “When Margery grew into a young lady, I faced the choice of finding another household with small children elsewhere, or taking a different position here. Your father was kind enough to let me stay on.”

He’d never expected to hear the words
your father
and
kind
in the same sentence, and his expression must have shown it. “Circumstances change, Randal,” she added in that old Nurse Etta tone of voice. “It is up to us to accept them and move on.”

Those words were directed to him and his current situation, but he didn’t want to hear them right now. “I am looking for Lady Lily.”

“A lovely young woman.” She bustled over to the bed and started straightening a coverlet that didn’t need to be straightened. “She is outside playing with the dogs.”

“What dogs? You cannot mean . . . no . . .”

She plumped a pillow, then looked up. “Yes. The marquess’s dogs.”

That was worse even than learning Lily was conferring with his father. His heart pounding, Rand headed outside at a run.

But when he reached the enclosure, he told himself he should have known better. He stood for a moment just watching. Lily was fine, if covered in dog slobber. In fact, she seemed to be in her element.

She had a fawn-colored dog fetching a short stick and a brindle dog playing tug-of-war with a longer one. Two more dogs seemed, miraculously, to be waiting their turns for attention. Another few were simply ignoring her, but that in itself was a wonder.

Some of the hounds stood as tall as her shoulder, and they were all trained to fight, bred mainly for their fierceness. Except the marquess, everyone on the estate was wary of the beasts, Rand included.

Half convinced it was more dangerous than running into a burning barn, he climbed into the enclosure and wove his way through the excited animals to Lily. She glanced at his approach, then focused on the brindle dog.

“Let go,” she commanded. The canine dropped his end of the stick, ending the playful tug-of-war.

Rand was unsurprised. Animals always listened to Lily. “Thank you for your patience,” he said, drawing near.

She shrugged, clearly not happy that he’d run off, but unwilling to make trouble, either. She tossed the shorter stick and watched the other dog chase after it. “I understand,” she said quietly.

Hurrying back with the wood, the mastiff sideswiped Rand and made him stagger. The mass of these beasts was amazing; not a one of them weighed less than he did.

“This is really not safe,” he told her. “They are very aggressive.”

“Balderdash. They were starving for attention.” With a swipe of its huge pink tongue, the hound licked her smack on the face. She tossed the stick again. “You should put some thick, knotted rope in here. They’d enjoy playing with it, chewing on it. And that tree is a hazard.”

She waved toward one corner. “Those apples are just the right size to get lodged in their throats. I’m surprised none of them have choked.”

He shifted on his feet. “I’m sure my father knows what he’s about. He’s been breeding the monsters for years.”

“Monsters? I thought you said you were a dog person.”

He felt himself turning red. “These don’t count. I prefer the small, fluffy sort.”

Reclaiming the stick from between the dog’s big teeth, she appeared to be suppressing a laugh. “Have you ever had a small, fluffy dog?”

“No. But I used to look at these and wish for one.”

“They can be meaner than these. We shall have to try to locate a sweet one for you.” She dropped the wood to the ground and finally met his gaze. “So tell me the rest.”

“Can we get out of here first?”

“I suppose.” She patted one last hound on the head before bunching her skirts in one hand. The dogs started howling as she climbed the fence. When Rand went to follow, one beast whacked him with its tail, a stinging blow that he half suspected was deliberate.

He supposed he deserved it.

When they were safely beyond the fence, he took Lily’s face in both hands and kissed her, relieved when he felt her melt against his body. “I’m sorry for running off,”

he told her. “’Tis a bad habit.”

Apparently having forgiven him, she smiled. “I hope it’s your worst.”

“Oh, it is, I assure you. Other than this one oddity, I’m a perfect companion.”

“
Those
are perfect companions.” She gestured toward the dogs. But she was still smiling. “Tell me everything.”

Feeling better than he had in hours, he slipped an arm around her waist and walked her into the gardens. “I care not what my father wants, Lily. I won’t give you up for anything.
Anything.
”

She snuggled closer against him. “Tell me the rest.

Your father has pledged to marry Margery to his heir, and now
you
are his heir. What else?”

“Margery’s a commoner, but an heiress. She inherited a vast estate. Land that my father has been managing for twenty years.”

“And?”

“He claims that Hawkridge will bankrupt without the income from that land. He contends he was close to losing everything when Margery came along. Allegedly he mortgaged Hawkridge to the hilt to support Charles during the War.”

“Would he have?”

“What?”

“Risked his estate for the King?”

He blinked. “Of course. Did your father not do the same?”

“’Twas my grandfather at the time. And no.” Her father’s daughter, she plucked dead leaves off the hedges as they walked. “He sent money, but no more than he felt he could spare. And he never went off to fight. While we waited out the War and Protectorate at Tremayne, he was right there along with us. He always said he valued family above the monarchy.”

A different way of thinking, but Rand liked it. “I suspect the marquess would have called him coward. But if
he’d
not gone off to war, he’d never have been indebted to Margery’s father. And I wouldn’t be in this mess today.”

“
We
wouldn’t be in this mess,” she corrected gently.

“We will find a way out together.”

In that moment, his love for her increased tenfold. He couldn’t remember when anyone had supported him so unconditionally. In order to persevere, he’d always needed to find the strength within himself. But now he could depend on—lean on—Lily. Those narrow shoulders were deceptively strong.

He stopped in the shade of a spreading tree, turning her toward him to meet her mouth. “I love you, Lily Ashcroft,” he murmured against her lips.

“And I, you.” Her hands slipped under his coat, and she leaned back to look up at him. “What else? There is more, I can tell.”

“You’re a dangerous woman.” He chuckled and kissed her on the nose, but then suddenly sobered. “The maid the marquess assigned to you, Etta . . .”

She frowned and took his arm to resume walking.

“She’s a kind sort.”

“She used to be my nurse, and yes, she is very kind.”

He hadn’t expected to find anything he cared for here at Hawkridge. Or anyone. “She—and others—made my childhood here bearable.”

A bee buzzed over their heads, then flew off. “You worry for them,” she said with the sort of compassion that made her Lily. “Not for your father, not for Hawkridge the estate, but for Hawkridge’s people.”

“The old family retainers.”

“And the tenants and villagers, too, I imagine. There must be dozens of people who depend on Hawkridge for their livelihoods.”

“Hundreds.” He pulled her close, buried his face in her fragrant hair. “Oh God, Lily. As much as I don’t want to jump to the marquess’s command, as much as I cannot imagine giving up my hard-won professorship, as much as I cannot stand to think of losing you—absolutely will
not
consider losing you—”

His voice broke.

“You also cannot imagine letting all these people down,” she finished for him, drawing back. Capturing his gaze, she caught his hands in both of hers.

Devastation. There was no other word to describe the way she felt. A hole had opened in her middle, a bottomless pit, sucking every shred of her newfound happiness into its void.

Tears threatened, but she squeezed his fingers, trying to draw strength from his very bones. He pulled one thumb from her grip to rub it over the scars on the back of her hand.

She searched his eyes, dark gray with pain. “There must be another way.” He looked so steady. He was her rock. Rocks did not up and disappear. “Besides meek acceptance of your father’s dictates, there
must
be another way.”

He nodded, clearly wanting to believe her, but he didn’t look convinced. “I meant what I said, Lily. I’ll not give you up for anything. But I ran, and then I walked, and yet I couldn’t think—”

“There is my marriage portion.” She drew him down to sit on a wooden bench.

“I told him about that,” Rand admitted, looking guilty.

“As you should have. It will be yours as soon as we wed.”

With a gentle hand, he pushed her hair off her face. “I don’t feel as though it necessarily should be. I didn’t earn it. Everything else I have, I’ve earned.”

“’Tis the way the world works, Rand. I vow, you’re one of the few men I’ve met who wouldn’t run to the altar for that sort of money.” Yet more proof he was special.