Lily of Love Lane (17 page)

Hattie just shrugged. ‘That kiss looked genuine to me.’

‘It was only a peck.’

‘A
what
?’ Hattie exploded, sitting up. ‘Your lips looked they were glued together!’

Lily was embarrassed. ‘Listen, Hat, I don’t know why Ben – well, kissed me. He’s never done it before and to be honest I was annoyed that he did such a thing in front of
everyone.’

‘There’s always a first time.’

‘It’s going to be the last as well,’ Lily said, getting annoyed now.

Hattie sat forward, looking up at Lily with a puzzled expression. ‘Look, Lil, that kiss shows just how much he thinks of you and he’s proud to announce the fact to the world.
He’s crazy about you and by the way you kissed him back, you’re nuts about him too.’

‘I didn’t kiss him back,’ Lily protested. What was Hattie suggesting?

‘Then I must have been watching another girl.’

Lily hadn’t meant to let him kiss her, but how could she have stopped him? It had happened so quickly and all her thoughts had been on Charles, that she had been in a state of shock.

‘What’s wrong with you?’ demanded Hattie, jumping to her feet. ‘Why don’t you just admit it?’

‘There’s nothing to admit,’ Lily said as she faced her friend. ‘I’ve told you time and again that me and Ben are just friends.’

‘So you keep insisting. But actions speak louder than words. And what we all saw tonight, was not a handshake, Lil. Can’t you see you’re special to him – he worships the
ground you walk on. If ever there were two people meant for each other it’s you two.’

With a sinking sensation Lily realized why Hattie had been so against Charles. It wasn’t because he was a stranger, but because they had all assumed it was Ben she would marry.

‘Hattie, please listen to me,’ Lily pleaded, desperate to make Hattie understand. ‘What Ben did tonight came as a big surprise. I never encouraged him. Honest. I don’t
know what’s happened.’

But Hattie just stared at her coldly. ‘The trouble with you, Lil, is that you’ve got high falutin’ ideas now you’ve met that posh bloke. But remember, it was Love Lane
you were born in, not Buckingham Palace. And it’s Ben and Reube and me who are your true friends, not someone like him who only wants one thing from you.’

Lily felt sick. How dare Hattie say that? ‘He’s got a name Hattie, it’s Charles. And he’s never once suggested anything improper.’

‘Not yet maybe, but he will.’

‘How can you say that?’

‘What does any bloke like him want with a girl that ain’t of his station? It’s obvious, but you’re just too daft to see it.’

Tears filled Lily’s eyes. She couldn’t believe her best friend was saying such spiteful things. ‘Are you trying to make me feel guilty about liking him?’

‘So you
do
like him?’ Hattie gulped. ‘I thought so! I told Reube you did but he said it was just a silly girl’s crush and would wear off.’

‘You’ve talked to Reube about us?’

Hattie looked defiant. ‘Why shouldn’t I? You’re not like the old Lil. And it’s
him
who’s turned you against us.’

Lily tried not to show how much Hattie’s remarks were hurting her. A big lump came in her throat; she felt betrayed.

‘They say love blinds people and it’s certainly made a fool of you, Lily Bright.’

‘I . . . I didn’t say it was love,’ Lily stammered, close to tears. ‘I haven’t had chance yet to know how I really feel. I’ve been too busy trying not to
upset me friends. But now I see that whatever I say or do won’t make you happy. Not unless I stop seeing him.’

Hattie stuck out her chin. ‘That’s the first sensible thing I’ve heard you say in a long time.’

But Lily shook her head slowly. ‘Given half the chance, Hattie, I’m going to see more of Charles. And if you don’t like it, then I’m truly sorry.’

Hattie opened her mouth to speak then shut it. She reached for her coat on the back of the chair. As she did so, the front door banged.

Reube walked in the kitchen. His face was white. ‘Ben’s just gone.’

‘Why didn’t he say goodbye?’ Lily asked.

‘I would have thought that was obvious.’ Reube glanced at Hattie. ‘Next time you two have a ding-dong, keep your voices down.’

Hattie’s eyes suddenly filled with tears. Before Lily could speak she ran out of the room and the front door banged once more.

Reube looked at Lily, his face even paler. ‘Well, that’s set the cat among the pigeons, ain’t it?’

‘I can’t help how I feel, Reube.’

‘Obviously not.’

‘I don’t want to upset Hattie or Ben, or anyone. But I mean what I say about seeing Charles again. He came to the market today whilst you were out.’

Reube’s shoulders sank. ‘He did, did he?’ Rubbing his hand across his jaw, he asked, ‘Does he feel the same about you as you feel about him?’

‘I don’t know, Reube.’

‘You could be taking a risk, like Hattie said.’

‘I don’t care. I have to find out.’

‘You’re refusing the love of a good bloke like me brother for someone you’ve only known five minutes?’

‘I didn’t know how Ben felt, not till recently.’ Lily hoped that Reube, of all people, would understand.

‘But it’s been on the cards for years, you and him.’

Lily dug in her pocket for a handkerchief. ‘If I knew Ben felt the way he did, I would have—’

‘What would you have done, Lil?’ Reube broke in sharply. ‘Say you never met this Charles Grey, say that tonight Ben asked you to marry him. Would you have said yes?’

It was a question she hadn’t considered, because before meeting Charles she hadn’t known what love was or wanted to marry any man, other than the one in her dreams. She
couldn’t even imagine that Ben, being the flirt he was, would ever have asked her to marry him.

‘I’ll take that as a no,’ Reube said before she could answer. His voice thick with emotion as he looked at her. ‘Well, Lil, I’ll tell you this for nothing, it would
take someone blind, deaf and dumb, not to know that Ben’s in love with you and has been for a long while. And I don’t mean just a five minute wonder. He’s got it bad. And what he
overheard you say to Hattie tonight might have just about broke his heart. And that, gel, is gonna take a while in mending.’

With one last long look in her direction, he squared his shoulders, then turned and left the house.

Ben was sitting in the charabanc as dawn came up. He could see the pink sky crawling into the stars, lifting the Quarry’s old roof into daytime relief. There was smoke
already funnelling out of one of the chimneys. Ernie and Gladys must be up, preparing for another Sunday and he envied them.

He envied the normality of their life, the certainty of the hours ahead. It was a certainty he had shared himself once too. The belief that the universe would provide the wherewithal for life.
You may be penniless, thirsty, hungry and unemployed, but there was always tomorrow. Another day on the horizon, a chance at survival. Every East Ender lived for that day and the opportunity to
make good. But for some reason, he knew that his own private universe had within the last few hours, taken a violent knock. His thirst for the things he believed in, his dreams of becoming a
self-made man, they were all a million miles away. And why? Because without Lily, none of them mattered. And yet he’d never known it before . . . never guessed . . . never given it a single
thought that she might not be in his life for ever. He played at being the Romeo with other women, kidding himself as well as kidding her. And now he’d lost her.

Last night was like having a leg removed. And the rest of his body wasn’t bleeding, just not sure how to walk again, because you certainly didn’t function the same without a limb.
You expected to always have arms and legs, they were part of your makeup. Just like Lily, she was part of his living and breathing. And now she had fallen for someone else.

He pulled hard on the cigarette, its glow dying as he opened the window and chucked it out. The birds were scooting over the roofs, dancing in the clouds above the scarlet wash. Red sky at
night, shepherd’s delight. Red sky in the morning, shepherd’s warning.

A warning too late for him.

Mustering up what strength he had left, he jumped out of the vehicle and stretched his back. His spine was aching from the hours of sitting, trying to reason out what had gone wrong. Last night
he was thinking of proposing, going down on one knee in the old-fashioned way and popping the question then asking her dad for her hand in marriage. Not for a minute had it occurred to him that
she’d refuse. In his dreams he’d even had them walking over Blackheath, deciding on a house, a nice little terrace away from the Smoke. He reckoned he could afford it now. He had enough
money saved and he’d work like a slave to make her happy.

But none of it meant anything now. Not without Lil.

Broad shoulders drooping under his crumpled new suit, he turned away from the Quarry and began to walk home.

O
n Sunday morning, it was Uncle Noah who brought her a cup of tea.

‘Thought you’d like this,’ he said as he shuffled into the room.

‘What time is it?’ Lily sat up in bed as he put the cup and saucer on the table.

‘Eight o’clock.’

‘Are Mum and Dad up?’

‘No, they’re having a lie-in after last night.’

All that had happened came back in a rush. After all the things that had been said, her birthday had been ruined and Lily had cried herself to sleep.

Her uncle sat on the end of the bed. ‘There was a lot of bangs last night.’

‘I’m sorry. It was the front door.’

‘I heard a lot of shouting.’

The tears were very close. ‘Hattie and me had a row.’

‘You were going at it hammer and tongs.’

Lily sniffed. ‘It was awful. I don’t know if we’ll make it up again.’

‘Course you will.’ Her uncle patted her leg.

‘Do you think Mum and Dad heard?’

‘Doubt it. They sleep like logs. I was still reading me Sunday paper.’

Lily was having trouble seeing through her sore eyes. ‘You must have heard everything, then?’

‘No,’ said her uncle, ‘But I ’spect it was over a bloke.’

‘Yes, it was.’ Lily sipped the hot liquid, grateful for its comfort. ‘And you know who, don’t you?’

‘That Charlie boy was it, who came round here? Your mother has been on at me to warn you off him.’

‘But why?’ Lily couldn’t believe that everyone’s opinion of Charles was so poor. ‘He only asked me to help him buy things, not run away with him to Gretna
Green.’

‘That’s what they’re afraid of, see?’

‘What, of me running away? They know I wouldn’t do that.’

Uncle Noah sighed as he wiped his pince-nez on a piece of rag and balanced them on his nose again. ‘You’re just an innocent in their eyes. And he’s much older, ain’t
he?’

Lily nodded slowly. ‘He said he was twenty in 1917 when he went to sea so that makes him thirty-three.’

‘It ain’t young, is it?’

‘It’s not old.’ Lily put down her cup. ‘But what does age matter? He’s a business gentleman who has paid me more than fairly for my time. The money he gave me
helped to clear all our debt. He ain’t made me no indecent proposition as Hattie seemed to think he would . . .’ Lily’s voice broke at the memory of all her friend had said last
night. She scooped away a tear.

‘Listen, Lil,’ said her uncle firmly, ‘they’re worried because it might not stop at business. Strikes me, you’re not thinking of him just in the way of being
employed. And, if that’s the truth and things go further, your friends will be slow to accept an outsider. He’s a gent and always will be.’

‘But he came here, Uncle Noah, and you met him. He’s not the sort to look down on anyone, no matter who they are.’

‘It ain’t him, gel. It’s us who know our place and don’t like to be reminded of it. This is the Depression, Lil, money is scarce, there’s no jobs and half the
island or more is out of work. Charlie boy appears, with his shiny motor, and good clobber, and arouses suspicion. It ain’t so much class, as downright envy. Why should he have it all and
people like us, have nothing?’

‘But we have got everything!’ Lily protested. ‘We’ve got each other, we’re a family. He’s on his own and is lonely.’

‘And the loneliness is of his own making.’

‘His wife died,’ Lily argued gently. ‘He didn’t want that to happen.’

‘Look, Lil, I’m sorry for his loss, but our losses are greater. He’s got his money and good standing, the world is his oyster. As for us, no bloody politician, union or
Blackshirt, quack or preacher is going to relieve us of our poverty. We’ve got to make the best of what we have, in other words, there ain’t any hope for our future to
change.’

‘We’re happy, Uncle Noah!’

‘We could be a bloody sight happier.’

Lily sighed. ‘I s’pose Mum and Dad want me to end up with a man like Ben.’

‘That’s ’cos we trust ’im. Like attracts like, ducks. It’s an unwritten rule. And your gent ain’t like us.’

Lily hadn’t thought about breaking rules, written or unwritten. She understood what her uncle was saying, but she couldn’t change her feelings. Every time she was with Charles she
was happy. Was that so wrong?

‘What am I going to do, Uncle Noah?’

‘Only you can decide that,’ he smiled, pushing himself up from the bed. ‘You’re a woman now and as such, should know your own mind.’

Lily looked confused. ‘I want to keep my friends. I want Mum to be happy. But I want to see Charles.’

Her uncle shook his head despairingly. ‘A woman is a bag of mixed tricks.’

‘I wish I knew a few more.’

‘And you’ve just reminded me why I never got spliced,’ he opened the bedroom door. ‘Now I’m going to cook yer all a breakfast and hope your mother don’t nag
me to blazes for messin’ up her kitchen when she comes down.’

Lily slipped out of bed and began to get dressed. What did she really want in her life? Was it selfish to yearn for happiness and excitement? She didn’t want to hurt her friends, but she
didn’t want to give up Charles either. What was she going to do?

Later that morning, there was a knock on the door. Lily rushed to open it, hoping to see Charles. The look of expectancy on her face soon died when she saw who it was.
‘Oh, Ben, it’s you.’