Lily White Lies (31 page)

“Yes ma’am.” 

His hand made one pass across my back before he held me at arms length.  “She’s right.  We should go, give him some time.”

I nodded.  Several more tears spilled over my lashes when I saw the sadness in my grandmothers’ eyes.  I suddenly felt like I was being selfish in yet another relationship, hurting everyone around me and disregarding their feelings for the sake of my own happiness.

I whispered “I’m sorry,” as Gram wrapped her arms around me.

“Ssh now, child.”  She stroked my hair.  “He’ll come around, just give him the time he needs.”

When Gram released me from our embrace, Con took hold of my hand and turned to face my grandmother.  He said, “Good night, Mrs. Embry.  I truly am sorry,” before leading me out of the house.

Twenty-Five

...Joker was as nasty as a dirty diaper but at least he talked, even if it wasn’t directly to me most of the time.  Gramp, on the other hand, had a much better disposition, although he refused to acknowledge Con’s presence, let alone talk to him...

The morning sun forced its way through the parted curtains marking the beginning of another day.  I had fallen asleep in Con’s arms with tear-streaked cheeks and awoken up in much the same way.  The sound of his heart beating against my face couldn’t erase the previous evening but it was better than spending a night alone with my tears.

I nudged his arm.  “Con, it’s seven-thirty.  What time do you have to be to work?”

His arm tightened around my shoulder.  “Good morning.  I have a flight at eleven.”

“Okay, I’m going to a get quick shower then.  If you want breakfast, we’ll have to go out for it, there’s nothing here.”

“I know of this little outdoor café...”

I offered the first smile since early yesterday evening.  “Sounds great.”

After a full stretch that captured my undivided attention, he said, “I have to get a shower, too, so how about I run home and come back for you in about an hour?”

My mouth opened slightly as my eyes involuntarily invited him to stay.

As if reading my mind, he breathed, “If I had clean clothes with me, that would be an offer I couldn’t refuse.”

I tried to hide my disappointment as I placed a kiss on his lips and watched him head down the stairs, taking two at a time.  As the entry door slammed shut behind him, I wondered how it was possible that my emotions could straddle both ends of the spectrum at the same time.  How could I feel fulfilled happiness and empty sadness with the same heart?  I had to find a way to bring all the aspects of my life together.

Even knowing who I was, Con’s mother showed no ill will during our first meeting so I couldn’t explain the tremor that worked its way through me as she approached us.

“It’s a beautiful morning, isn’t it?”  Her tone was sincere and cheery.

Con stood and kissed her on the cheek.  “Good morning, Mom,” motioning to me, he added, “and you’ve met Meg.”

She extended her hand, saying, “Yes, I had the pleasure of meeting her a few days ago.”

Con pulled out a chair and she thanked him before turning her attention to me.

“I’ve thought a lot about what you and I discussed when you were here last.  Have you spoken to your grandparent’s by any chance?”

I looked to Con and back to her.  “We were there last night but it didn’t go any better than our meeting with Joker went.”

She looked to Con in disbelief.  “You took her to meet Joker?”

“She insisted.”

“I’ll bet he wasn’t what you were expecting,” she laughed.

I shook my head.  “That meeting was... unusual.”

“Well, if you made it through a meeting with him, you deserve to be commended.”

Con said, “He made reference to you, Mom.”

She raised her eyebrows seeking an explanation.

“He pushed Meg into a corner and she told him off.  He said if he were looking to be disrespected, he’d see you.”

She reached over and squeezed my hand.  “Good for you, Meg.  Don’t you let him give you a hard time without giving it right back to him.”

“It wasn’t planned, it just came out.”

I caught the look of approval she exchanged with Con.

“So then, I assume Joker was of no help.  Your grandparent’s couldn’t help you either?”

I shook my head.  “Couldn’t or wouldn’t.  Other than telling us about Wisteria Falls and how the feud began, we don’t know any more than we knew before we went to see them.”

She clasped her hands together under her chin and rested her elbows on the table.

“Wisteria Falls...”  She closed her eyes for a moment, a smile stretching across her face.  “I haven’t thought about that place in ages.”

Con asked, “You’ve been there?”

“Oh yes, your father used to take me there, during better times of course.”  She sat back in her chair.  “Your fathers’ once spent an entire weekend there.”

My eyes grew wide.  Realizing that she was unaware of my family tree, I ignored the mistake and wiggling a finger between Con and myself, asked, “
Our
fathers? 
Together
?”

She smiled and nodded.

“But I thought they hated each other.”

“Only in public and the presence of family.”  She glanced around the café.  Seemingly satisfied with everything, she continued.  “Joker has always been a hard man to be around.  My late husband dealt with his father’s heavy hand by turning to the bottle—at a young age, I might add.  Your father covered for him on so many occasions to keep Joker from...”

Con interrupted, “Donny was her uncle, Mom.”

She questioned him with her eyes, and he answered, “It’s a long story and I’ll let Meg tell you when she’s ready.”

The curiosity in her eyes disappeared as she nodded and continued her story.

“Well...  unbeknownst to Joker, they were indeed friends, so when Wesley killed Donny and his wife in that terrible accident and seriously injured their daught...”  I saw the light of realization in her eyes, as her words trailed off.  “It was you wasn’t it, Meg?  You were the young girl in the accident.”

Confusion raced through Con’s eyes as he sat rigid in his seat.  “Mom, what are you talking about?”

I broke from Sally’s stare and bit my lower lip.  Con already harbored so many negative feelings toward his father; I didn’t want to give him another reason to hate him.

I answered the question he asked.  “Con, I was in that accident.  There’s been so much blame laid between our families, so many fingers pointed, I didn’t want to add to a situation that already seems irreparable, that’s why I didn’t say anything when I realized that you didn’t know.”

He looked away and rubbed his hand over his chin.  He had been silent for several minutes when a look of comprehension crossed his face.

“Seriously injured?  Would that be the not-so-little scar you mentioned?  Did my father do that to you?”

My eyes filled rapidly.  Before I could answer his question, Sally took hold of his hand.

“Connor, you listen to me.  Your heart only has so much room in it.  The more of it you fill with hatred for your father, the less you’ll have left to give to someone you love.”

He ran a hand through his hair and said, “Mom, I know how you feel about him, even to this day.  I won’t pretend to understand it, but you have to understand, I never saw that side of him.  All he ever brought to my life was pain.”

Her eyes filled with sympathy as she tried to be consoling while avoiding talk of her late husband.  “You know, I have a good feeling about you two.” 

Con rolled his eyes.

“Seriously Con.  I’ve worked with the public all of my life and after awhile, you learn a lot about human nature.  I pick up on signs and signals even when I don’t realize at the time that it means anything and I have a good feeling about you and Meg.”

Unable to conceal his smile, he said, “I have that feeling, too.”

“Follow your instincts, they’re usually right.”  Glancing at two waiters who seemed to be having a problem with a customer, she stood and added, “If knowing the truth is that important, my advice to the both of you is, go to your respective grandparent’s and force them to tell you what it is you need to know.  Don’t stop asking questions until you get the answers you’re looking for.”

She leaned down, gave each of us a hug and wished us luck before returning to her business.

“You know, she’s right.”

He said, “She usually is,” offering a vague smile.  “I was actually teasing you about going back to my grandfather’s but if that’s what you want, I’ll take you when I get back tonight.”

Glancing at my watch, I stated, “I’ve kept you too long.  You’re going to be late.”

“I’ll be fine, but I do have to go.”  He turned his chair to face me, took my hands in his, and spoke softly, “I love you, Meg.  I am completely and ecstatically in love with you.”

I had never wanted to hear those words from anyone as much as I wanted to hear them from him, but the surprise of his announcement left me speechless.

He continued, “I don’t want you to say it back... not yet anyway.  If and when you say it, I want it to be because you truly mean it, not because you feel you have to return the gesture.”  His loving gaze looked deeply into my eyes.  “I just wanted you to know that.”

He kissed each of my hands, stood and walked away leaving me feeling happy, loved—and alone.

~ ~ ~

Once at work, the minutes ticked away slowly.  I was preoccupied with my thoughts and Nelda and Marco seemed caught up in their own happiness and didn’t notice my silence.

I tried to decide which grandfather we should demand answers from first.  Joker was as nasty as a dirty diaper but at least he talked, even if it wasn’t directly to me most of the time.  Gramp, on the other hand, had a much better disposition, although he refused to acknowledge Con’s presence, let alone talk to him.  Gram hadn’t been much help but I got the feeling that she knew more than she was letting on and for whatever reason, chose to keep it to herself. 

I had let thoughts of our families consume me to the point of letting important things became trivial.  I never found an opportunity to tell Gram about my visit to Cherry Hall and it upset me that I placed more importance on their feud than on my mother’s progress.

“I’m going to head out now if you guys will be alright.”

Marco said, “We be fine,” and Nelda added, “You go now.”

I simply nodded and wished them a good night as I picked up my purse and closed the door behind me. 

I had put almost an entire block between my little kitchen and myself before I realized I had no destination in mind.  Purely out of habit, I had reverted to my usual methods of stress-relief.  I had to find a way to sweep the clutter from my head in order to make room for productive thoughts.  I was so tired of being pulled in opposing directions; truth—lies, good—bad, right—wrong... 

My abrupt stop was so sudden; I almost tripped over my own feet.  That was it!  Love—hate.  I had accidentally found the remedy I was looking for.  The truth would conquer the lies and our love would conquer their hate. 

My step quickened and my legs felt lighter as I walked around the city, giving more thought to my plan.  Con wouldn’t return until later this evening and I was anxious to begin the healing process right away.  The only decision left to make was which grandfather to visit first.  Logic told me that although more miserable, Joker would be my best bet.  His ranting would hurt less than Gramp’s silence but my gut told me that it would hurt Gramp to think I turned to the man he hated most in the world, before coming to him.  I was too old for eeny meeny and there was no one to make the decision for me so, putting Gramp’s advise to good use, I went with my gut feeling.

I had thought about calling first but decided against it.  I didn’t want to give Gramp the opportunity to duck out on me, so I offered no advance warning of my visit.

I parked in the driveway and sat a moment, taking in the peacefulness.  The atmosphere at my grandparent’s house was much the same as it was at Joker’s, without the opulence.  One would think that at either property, a glass of iced tea, a cool breeze and a hammock for two would set the scene for the perfect summer day.  They would be surprised to find out that in addition to an adjoining property line, each family shared the same hate and hostility for the other and behind the seemingly perfect picture lived enough deceit to tear many lives apart.

My emotions bounced back and forth with each step I took up the front stairs.  Anxious—hesitant, nervous—determined and now that I was actually here, I prayed I would have the inner strength to see it through.

I pushed my hair back, took a deep breath and knocked on the door.  While waiting for someone to greet me at the front door, every nerve ending in my body bit at me when I heard the screen door in the back of the house slam shut.