Lily's Dream (Siren Publishing Classic) (15 page)

Lily had one leg out of the tub and was lifting the bucket of soapy water over the lip when she heard an angry, “Put that down!”

It startled her so much her arm jerked and she sloshed soapy, dirty water all down her front. She was just glad she hadn’t spilled it on the clean floor.

Jake reached past her and took the bucket out of her hands. One look on her face, and she knew that he knew about the baby already.

“Jesus, Jake. You scared the crap out of me.” Lily climbed back into the tub and reached for a towel so she wouldn’t drip on the floor. She started to pat down the front of her clothes. Seeing it as a loss, she simply stripped out of her shirt and shorts and left them in the tub. No longer dripping, she climbed out of the tub, Jake taking her elbow to steady her, and then she marched off toward the bedroom to find dry clothes.

Jake hadn’t said anything after his first bark, but she wasn’t sure what he was going to do or say, so she tried to logic it out. First things first, get some clothes on so she wouldn’t be at a disadvantage when having this discussion. Then tell him she didn’t plan this. God, what if he thought she was trying to trap him?

She opened her dresser and took a dry pair of panties, some shorts, and a tank top out of a drawer. She heard a nearly sub-vocal groan when she shimmied out of her damp panties and replaced them with the dry. If she’d doubted he knew, she didn’t now. There’s no way he would have kept his hands off her unless he had a darn good reason. A baby was a darn good reason.

“I didn’t plan this,” Lily said as she pulled her shorts up. She was proud of how steady her voice was.

“I know.” His voice revealed nothing.

“It must have happened that first night.” Lily didn’t look at him when she pulled the shirt over her head.

“You didn’t have a period after that?” Jake didn’t sound angry. He sounded calm. He actually didn’t have any inflection in his voice at all.

Lily felt the blush start at her neck and light up her face like a lightning bug. “I thought I had one start that night, but it must not have been.”

“No.” Jake’s voice got huskier. “That was because it was your first time and I was rough with you.”

He stepped closer and put his hand over her tummy, just like she had a short time before. “I’ve been rough with you a few times. Will the”—he swallowed audibly—”baby be okay? I didn’t hurt it, did I?”

She laid her hand over his. “No. The baby will be fine. She’s too protected right now for a little rough sex to hurt her.”

Jake’s hand jerked. “She?”

Lily leaned back against him. “Calling my baby ‘it’ just seems wrong. Today I’ll say ‘she.’ Tomorrow I’ll say ‘he.’”

“Will you want to find out the gender?” Jake asked.

“No.” Lily turned to face him. She examined his features. She had never seen him so expressionless. “Are you mad?”

He took a step back. “Of course not. This isn’t your fault. I’m the experienced one. I should have known better than to take you without a condom.”

It was Lily’s turn to take a step back. “I may have been inexperienced, but I’m not stupid. We both should have known better.” She put her hand over her stomach again. “I can’t find it in me to be sorry right now though.”

Jake reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring box. He opened the box and held it out. “Lily, will you marry me?”

Lily gasped. She couldn’t say she was surprised he was proposing. She knew he’d feel obligated to. She just hadn’t expected the ring. It was exactly what she would have picked. The ring was a platinum band with a square cut diamond in the center. There were no other adornments. It was simple and elegant.

Lily looked at Jake’s face. It was absolutely expressionless, just like his voice had been. He looked like a man who was
doing the right thing
, not a man who loved a woman and wanted to be with her forever.

Although it hurt so much she felt a physical wrench, she closed the box and said, “No.”

His face tightened almost imperceptibly. He put the box right back into his pocket.

“Why not?”

Lily cupped his face. “You don’t have to do this. I wouldn’t stop you from being a part of your child’s life. I don’t blame you. I’m doing fine financially. I have good job and a healthy savings. Marrying because we were careless and made a baby is the wrong reason.”

“I love you. I want to marry you.” If Jake’s voice had held any real emotion, if he’d expressed his love at any other time, she would have jumped all over this offer. She loved him and had dreamed of forever with him. Turning him down might have been for the best, but it was tearing off a piece of her heart.

“Thank you for the offer.” It was all she could think to say.

Jake turned around and walked out. When Lily heard the front door slam, she let the tears come.

* * * *

Jake sat in his truck, unsure of what to do. He was vaguely aware of the fact that he had tears on his face. When his cell rang, he didn’t even look to see who was calling. He hit the speaker button. “Yeah.”

“Hey, Jake, how’d it go?” Derek’s cheerful voice came across the line. “When’s the wedding?”

“She said no.” His voice was rough with holding back tears.

“Shit, man. If you’d told her you loved her, she wouldn’t have said no. She probably just thinks you proposed because you felt like you should.”

“I did tell her I loved her.”

Silence from the other end.

“She said thank you.”

“Fuck, man. That sucks.” Derek’s voice was thoughtful. “Do you want to come over?”

“No. I’m going home.” Without a good-bye, Jake hit the end button on the phone. He knew Derek would understand.

Without wiping the tears off his face, Jake drove home.

* * * *

Derek knocked on Lily’s door. When she didn’t open it, he tried the knob. Although he normally wouldn’t presume to enter someone’s house without permission, he figured these were special circumstances. He found Lily upstairs on her bed sleeping. She had clearly been crying.

He decided to go downstairs and make dinner. She might not be too hungry, but she needed to eat. He saw that she had the makings for fajitas and started chopping.

* * * *

Lily woke to the sound of her television. She followed the sound to find Derek sitting on her couch watching The Food Network.

“Hey,” she said, her voice all nasally from crying herself to sleep. “What are you doing here?”

Derek stood up and opened his arms. Lily ran into them and held tight.

“Hey, sweetheart, how are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling good.” She paused. “Kind of hungry actually.”

Derek chuckled and led her into the kitchen. “I have just the thing. I was getting fajitas ready so I could fry them up when you woke up.” He led her to a chair so she could talk to him while he got dinner ready.

“So why were you crying? Are you upset about the baby?” He poured oil, garlic, and spices into her sauté pan.

“I’m not upset about the baby. I know I should be, but I’m not.” She played with the hem of her shorts. “How did you find out?”

Derek’s jaw tightened. “Jake and I were watching the Red Sox game when Tom came in all pissed off. He accused me of knocking you up.” He gave her a rueful grin. “Jake stepped in to say he was the one who’d done the deed, and all was well.”

There was so much sarcasm in that retelling the air was singed.

“Oh,” he added casually, “and I came out to my two best friends.”

Lily stood up and hugged Derek from behind. “Did they say anything?”

Derek turned and looped an arm over her shoulders for a quick hug. “Nah, they weren’t really surprised. Tom walked out though.”

Lily hugged him harder. “I’m sorry, sweetie.”

Derek just shrugged. “Then I went with Jake to pick out an engagement ring for you.”

Lily stepped back to return to her chair. “You guys did a great job. The ring is beautiful.”

“Yeah, then how come you’re not wearing it? Didn’t it fit?”

Lily could tell by his tone he knew at least some of what had happened. “Getting married because I’m pregnant is a dumb idea, Derek, and you know it.”

“Getting married because you love each other and made a baby is an excellent idea, and you know it,” he countered.

“If he really loved me, I would agree.” Lily took a deep breath to head off the pressure building behind her eyes. She didn’t want to cry again.

“He didn’t tell you that he loved you?”

“He did, but he didn’t mean it. He said it because he knew I’d need to hear that before saying yes.”

Derek took the pan off the flame and turned to her, incredulous. “What in the hell made you think he was lying?”

Lily was starting to feel defensive. “You should have heard him. He had about as much emotion in his voice as you do when you’re ordering a latte at Starbucks. When I said no, he just put the ring right back in his pocket as though he were relieved. I let him off the hook.”

Derek threw the wooden spoon he was using to stir into the sink. “Let him off the hook? You didn’t let him off the hook. You broke his heart. He laid it all out for you, and you just tossed it back in his face.”

“I did not. He doesn’t love me. He feels like this baby is his fault. I don’t need him to be with me out of obligation.” Lily stood, too.

“You little idiot. I’ve known him since pre-school, and he has never told a woman he loved her. He has never proposed marriage. And you know what, brain trust?” Now Derek was pissed. “He was talking about marrying you before Tom stormed into the apartment.”

Lily’s legs gave out, and she sat with an audible
whoosh
of sound. “No, that can’t be true.” She was crying again and looked up at Derek beseechingly. “You didn’t hear him. He had no emotion in his voice at all.”

“Did you ever consider that maybe he felt too much? He was afraid you didn’t love him. He was afraid you didn’t need him. He was afraid you thought he wasn’t worthy.” Derek took her hand. “And you basically told him he was right.”

Lily popped up out of her seat. “I have to find him.”

She rushed from the room and slipped into flip-flops. She grabbed her keys.

“I think he’s home,” Derek shouted as she opened the door.

“Thanks, Derek.” She looked at him once more before rushing out. “Thanks for everything.”

* * * *

Jake was considering getting very drunk. He just couldn’t get up the energy. The ring box was open on the coffee table next to a bottle of Jack and a highball glass. He had filled it and taken a sip when he’d first got home. It had sat there, mostly full, for the last hour.

He had been ignoring the phone so he wasn’t surprised when there was a knock on his door. He figured it was either Derek coming by to check on him or Tom coming by to kick his ass for not getting Lily to agree to marry him.

“Come in.” He didn’t bother to get up off the couch.

The last person he expected to see was Lily. He closed his eyes and said, “Hey, Lily. Now’s not a great time. How about I come by your house tomorrow? We can talk about whatever you want then.”

Instead, Lily sat down next to him on the couch. After a minute she said, “I love you.”

Jake jerked upright. “What?”

“I should have said that early today. I love you. I don’t want to get married because you feel obligated or because my brother pressured you or for any reason other than because you love me.” Her head was down, and she wasn’t looking at him.

“I told you I love you,” Jake said, still unsure of exactly what was happening.

Lily looked up at him, tears in her eyes. “I didn’t believe you. I thought you were just saying it so I’d marry you. I thought you meant you loved me, which you always have, not that you were
in love
with me.” She squared her shoulders. “Because I’ve always been in love with you, and I never thought you’d feel the same.”

Jake felt his breath catch and his heart fill. “I can’t say how long I’ve been in love with you. I don’t know for sure. All I do know is that I’m so in love with you now I feel stupid with it.”

Lily took the ring box off the table and gently pulled the ring out. She handed it to him. “Ask me again,” she said.

Jake took the ring. For a moment, she thought he wasn’t going to ask. He stared at it so hard. Finally, he slid down on his knees beside the couch. “I’m in love with you, Lily Richards. Will you marry me?”

Lily went down on her knees next to him and held out her left hand. “Yes.”

Tom stood next to Jake and watched his sister, looking like a beautiful fairy in a long white gown, walk toward one of his best friends. He was so happy for his sister and Jake. They might be getting married now because of the baby, but he was sure they would have ended up there anyhow. They truly loved each other.

As her brother, he felt like a fool for not realizing what had been going on between them. Of course he felt like a fool for a lot of things lately. He could feel the heat of a body, just behind and to the left of him. If he shifted his shoulder back a couple of inches, he’d be touching him.

Derek.

Another best friend. More?

Tom looked out to the guests and at Derek’s date. He had said it was a woman who worked in his office. She was stunning with long brown hair and big expressive eyes. She was also built like a lush dream. Derek might be attracted to men as well as women, but when he picked a woman, she was most definitely all woman.

Tom wanted to scratch her eyes out like he was some drama-queen teen whose boyfriend was being stolen by the class tramp. He knew it wasn’t fair. She looked totally respectable. She wasn’t dressed provocatively. Still…

Better to leave that thought alone, at least for now.

Kiel Nichols spends her life surrounded by books. On her quiet days she can be found curled up with her sweet kitty and her mangy dog, reading or writing. She spends her not so quiet days schlepping her daughter around or riding herd on a classroom of teenagers.