Lindsay McKenna (7 page)

“Healing takes many forms,” Gus said. She narrowed her eyes on Cat. “That young man likes you a lot. I saw it in his eyes when I went in to visit him earlier today. The way he looked at you.”

Stunned, Cat said, “He does?”

Val grinned across the table at Cat. “You weren’t aware?”

Embarrassed, Cat muttered, “No...not really. I mean, I’m a paramedic, my focus is elsewhere.”

“Don’t feel bad, Cat,” Griff said.

Cat stared at Val. “How can I help Talon, then?”

“Just be your wonderful self,” Val murmured, smiling. “You’re a healer, Cat. You’ve always been one. The value of your touch can never be underestimated. Especially with someone like Talon. I know that when Griff would touch my shoulder, my hand or hold me, it made a huge difference for me.”

“But,” Cat stumbled, “I don’t love him!”

Gus snorted. “Blind as a bat.”

Eyebrows raising, Cat stared at the elder. “What does that mean?” She was beginning to feel panic. Did they see something she didn’t between her and Talon? Was she
that
blind?

Gus patted her hand. “Dearie, you just continue to be yourself. Talon’s getting better because you’re around him. Aren’t healing and love entwined?” Gus gave her a hard, searching look.

“Well,” Cat sputtered, “I guess in a way they are. I mean, I love being a paramedic.” Surely, that was what Gus was talking about, her compassion and care for others.

Gus glanced over at Val. “She doesn’t know.”

Val grinned. “Give her time, Gus. We’re not as all seeing and knowing as you are.”

The table broke into warm laughter. Cat wasn’t laughing, however, feeling an outsider to a secret they all knew but she didn’t. Confused, she shrugged and finished off her warm pie. What wasn’t she seeing that they saw? She felt Gus pat her arm.

“Child, you are a wonderful person, so don’t let us razzing you upset you, okay?”

“I guess I am blind, Gus.”

“It’s all right. You’re young and that’s the reason why.”

Young and stupid.
Cat railed against her lack of experience with men. She’d give anything for what Griff and Val had. They were so clearly in love with each other. Cat couldn’t seem to pick men who loved her, much less respected her. Her father had never respected her, either. Not as a human being. Not as a child. Not as a little girl. Cat forced a smile she didn’t feel because she didn’t want to hurt Gus’s feelings. The elder had done so much for her.

“Young and dumb,” Cat teased her.

“No, you’re not dumb,” Gus said. “You’re innocent. There’s a huge difference.”

Innocent?
Her? Hardly. But Cat said nothing. She automatically shoved away memories of her childhood. Only Val knew what she’d endured. Cat was just too guilt ridden to tell anyone else. “All I want to do is be of help to Talon, Gus. He looks like he needs a friend.”

“You’re doing fine dealing with Talon. And I feel he’s beginning to trust you, Cat. That’s good for him. Maybe for you, too.” Her eyes grew kind as she held Cat’s gaze.

Val gave her grandmother a sweet smile. “Gus, you just go watch your favorite TV programs.” She looked at her watch. “Cat and I will get your room back in order. We know how you like it.”

Cat grinned. “You go enjoy the rest of your night, Gus. We’ll take care of the details.”

“Oh,” Gus muttered. “I guess I can.”

Moments later, Cat and Val gazed around her grandmother’s bedroom.

“There,” Val said, pleased. She and Cat had just finished putting clean sheets on her bed and moving the furniture around. She glanced at Cat.

Lowering her voice, “Do you have any experience as a paramedic with PTSD?”

“No. I’ve seen trauma but not the lasting effects.”

“You already know it’s nothing to mess with,” Val said grimly. “Now, Talon’s down the hall. And there’s a door between your bedrooms.” Her mouth thinned. “I’ll bet you anything Talon has horrible nightmares. You might get woken up on any night from his screaming. But you can’t go to him, Cat. He’s imprisoned in the event. And if you run into his room to try and help him, he will likely see you as the enemy and try to kill you.”

“He told me.” Cat gulped. She felt sudden pain for Talon. His suffering went beyond what she normally saw. And, yes, her first instinct would be to run into his room and try to help him. She stared at Val for a long time. “What happens to a guy who’s married and comes back home? Does his wife get beat up? Killed by him?”

“It can happen,” Val said. “That’s why I’m warning you off right now, Cat. Let Talon alone. He’ll handle it.”

“But—”

Val held up her hand. “No buts. He’ll be okay. He’s got Zeke. That dog, I’m sure, has seen him through all of his nightmares. The dog may even help and give him comfort.”

“We need to tell Gus about this.”

“Already did. I told her if she wakes up hearing Talon screaming, to stay in her room. She got it.”

“And Griff knows?”

“Griff knows.”

“Is there anything we can do to help Talon?”

Val shook her head. “Not right now. I’m hoping that, as he mends and starts working as a wrangler, I can persuade him to go see Jordana. She said a lot of the nightmares stem from high cortisol in his bloodstream. And she’s got a method to reduce the cortisol permanently. It doesn’t cure PTSD, but it does level out the playing field and it will help Talon sleep at night. Insomnia is one of the signs of PTSD.”

“I really need to get up on those symptoms,” Cat muttered.

“Talk to Jordana. She’s got all kinds of literature in her office on it. Take advantage of her coming over this Sunday.” Val slid her arm around Cat’s waist and gave her a quick hug. “Just understand, Talon isn’t doing this on purpose. He can’t help it. It’s his psyche’s way of trying to off-load the horror he experienced. If you play Scrabble with him, that’s a safe outlet for Talon. He’ll trust you more and more over time.”

Trust.
Well, that was a word Cat knew well. “Maybe I have PTSD, too. I don’t trust anyone. I have problems sleeping at night.”

“You don’t trust men because your father hurt you and he was a man. You trust women. They never hurt you. Talon’s trust issue is different. He’s steeped in top-secret stuff he can never reveal to anyone. And he’s trying to heal without ever talking about it. Sometimes, other things can come along in his life to bleed off this toxicity he carries. Over time, he’ll honestly start healing from it.”

“Scrabble will do that?” Cat demanded, unsure.

Val gave her an evil grin. “Scrabble is the focus. It’s
you,
your being with him, that’s the key.”

“I’m not a touchstone for anyone, Val. That’s been proven too many times. I just feel so messed up inside when it comes to men.”

Val pat her shoulder. “Trust me, you’re
good
for Talon. And he might be good for you.”

Cat straightened. “You’re giving me your blessing?”

“Absolutely. He’s wounded, Cat, but he’s a good man. I can spot one a mile away. And I kind of think you like Talon, too.”

Cat nodded, more to herself. “I liked him the instant I saw him. And nothing’s changed my feelings about him from that moment to this one.”

Val gave her a loving look. “You have a heart of gold and you do so much for so many. It’s time you met someone of your own caliber. And you have.”

CHAPTER SEVEN

T
ALON
WATCHED
FROM
his bedroom window as Cat and Val slogged along a newly shoveled path through the snow from the house to the barn. He rubbed his face tiredly. Dammit, he wanted to be well. Five days into this pneumonia thing and his nerves were frayed.

Zeke whined, standing at his side, his body pressed against Talon’s leg. Absently petting his war dog, Talon yearned to get outside and breathe in fresh air. Every day, he’d improved. And every day, he waited, anticipating Cat’s touch, her smile, her warmth, which lifted him up, like light.

A knock on his door made him turn.

“Come in,” he called.

Gus poked her head around the door. “Don’t you think it’s about time you joined the land of the living, Talon?”

He managed a sour grin. “Yes, ma’am,” he said, turning.

“Come on, I got everyone breakfast. Your turn.”

Talon felt warmth in his chest toward Gus. He walked to the door and opened it for the slight, spare woman with challenge in her squinted eyes. “You look like you’re on a mission this morning, Miss Gus.”

Gus cackled, turned and limped down the hall. “Come on, we need to put some meat on those bones of yours.”

In the warm, cheery kitchen, Gus pointed to the large pine table. “Take a seat, son. What do you feel like eating?”

“Whatever you’re fixing,” he murmured, pouring himself a cup of coffee and sitting down. Gus was in a bright red sweater and a pair of heavy black wool slacks, her blue apron wrapped around her tiny waist.

“I’m not picky,” he added, sitting down and noticing the flatware in front of him.

“Okay, how about three scrambled eggs, some diced ham and sprinkled with cheese?”

“Sounds good,” Talon murmured, grateful. “Snow’s melted enough that everyone’s out working?” he asked.

“Yep. That darned blizzard dumped three feet of snow across the area. Taken five days to get it melted enough so we can move cars and trucks on the highway. Hate these late-spring storms,” she muttered, whipping up the eggs with the ham in a bowl near the stove. She lifted her chin, narrowing her eyes on him. “How are you doing?”

“Better,” Talon admitted. For the past four nights he’d slept solidly. No one was relieved more than him because, normally, he woke up screaming from the nightmares. So far so good. Maybe he’d get well enough and not wake up the household.

“Cat checked you out earlier,” Gus said, pouring the mixture into the big, black skillet. “Said you have no fever this morning. That’s a good sign.”

“Tell me about it,” Talon said, sipping the coffee.

Gus popped in some bread to make toast. “Cat’s goin’ into town today. I told her I wanted you to go see Dr. Jordana McPherson. You need to get checked out by a doctor and she’s Griff’s sister-in-law. A real nice lady. You met her at the Sunday dinner.”

Talon remembered Sunday dinner. He hadn’t felt like coming out to join everyone, so Jordana had popped in to see him. She and Cat had examined his lungs once again and they’d talked medicalese about his condition. He liked Jordana and she really didn’t seem like a doctor, rather a warm, caring person. He roused himself. “Is there anything I can do for you or the ranch while I’m in town?” Talon asked. He was looking forward to getting out, moving around.

“Nope. Cat’s gonna drop you off at Jordana’s office. She’s going over to the Horse Emporium. Andy, the owner, has a load of horse feed for us. About a thousand pounds’ worth of feed.”

“Maybe I could help her?”

Gus eyed him darkly as she stirred the contents in the skillet. “Young man, you’re still sick.”

Talon smiled, saying nothing, and sipped his coffee. You didn’t want to pick a fight with Gus.

“When Cat’s done pickin’ up the feed, she’ll swing by and get you.”

“It will be nice to get out, get some fresh air,” Talon admitted.

Gus picked up the skillet and put the eggs into a bowl. The toast popped. “I see that look in your eyes, Talon. You’re restless and you want to get to work, but I’m not going to let you.”

Talon thanked Gus as she brought the bowl over and set it in front of his plate with a large spoon. She put the toast on his plate for him to butter.

“And you know this about me how?” he asked as she sat down at his elbow after pouring herself a cup of coffee.

“Sandy told me. And I saw that in you as you grew up,” Gus said. “Cat’s just afraid you’ll relapse.”

“I like hard, physical work, Miss Gus.”

“That’s a given when you work on a ranch as a wrangler. But I do want you to take it easy, listen to what Jordana says.” She tapped his arm smartly with her index finger. “Oh, I know you’re going stir-crazy in here. Once Cat drops you off here, she’s driving back into town. She’s got a forty-eight-hour shift at the fire department starting at three this afternoon.”

Talon frowned. He’d gotten used to Cat being part and parcel of his life. Now she’d be gone for two days. “When will she be back here?”

“Two days. You’ll hang in there.” Gus hooked a thumb over her small shoulder. “I had Griff take that huge room down the hall and make two smaller bedrooms out of it. We were still building the bunkhouse at the time. And really, Cat is like family, so we don’t mind if she stays with us.”

“She’s a good person,” Talon said, enjoying the tangy breakfast.

Gus gave him a narrowed look. “You like her.”

Talon swallowed and cut a glance in her direction. “There’s nothing to dislike about her, Miss Gus.”

“Humph.”

Talon wasn’t about to go there. It wouldn’t be wise to admit his feelings for Cat. He was about to work for Gus and he wasn’t sure she’d be happy with her wranglers getting together. He was concerned more for Cat’s sake than his own, although Talon figured that she was like family to the people here.

“Once Jordana gives you an okay that you’re well, I do want you to see your mother. And I’m loaning you our white Ford pickup truck. You need wheels, Talon.”

His gratitude ran deep. “Has anyone ever accused you of being a fairy godmother?”

Gus had the good grace to flush.

“Only to certain people,” she admonished, patting his forearm. “We all get knocked down to our knees from time to time. I’ve been there, too. It’s always nice to get a helping hand.”

“Really, you’re a guardian angel, Miss Gus.” And she was. During his formative years, Miss Gus had always been kind to him. Talon owed her. Big-time.

“That’s not generally what people see or think when they hear my name.”

Chuckling, Talon finished off his food. This morning, he was eating normally. Cat had told him earlier that he’d turned the corner on the fight with the pneumonia. “I always will.”

“That’s because I baked you cookies, young man.”

Talon smiled. “And I never forgot your goodness, Miss Gus.”

She frowned. “Do you want to get a haircut today?” She motioned toward his short ponytail.

“If I can, yes. I don’t like my hair long.”

“Of course you don’t,” Gus said. She pulled out some money from her apron pocket and set it next to his plate. “Here’s two weeks’ worth of your money you’ll earn, Talon. You need some decent work clothes, gear, a haircut and some good work boots. Griff takes care of the accounting books and I asked him to take a small portion out of your coming paychecks for this loan to you today. You all right with that?”

Was he?
Absolutely.
Talon took the money and shoved it into the pocket of his jeans. “I’m more than fine with that, Miss Gus. Thank you.”

“Well,” she grumped, finishing off her coffee, “we can’t have you lookin’ like a bum.”

He couldn’t help but laugh before he heard the sound of the front door opening and closing. Someone was stomping their snow-covered boots on a special rug in the porch area. Within moments, Cat appeared at the entrance. She wore her heavy nylon coat, her hands in a pair of thick sheepskin gloves, the red knit muffler wrapped around her neck and a cap of the same color over her black hair. She had the longest legs he’d ever seen and those jeans did nothing but showcase them. Her face was flushed, her blue eyes dancing with happiness.

“Hey, are you ready to go?” she called, taking off her work gloves.

“I am,” Talon replied, rising. He carried his plate and flatware over to the sink where Gus was cleaning up.

“Talon, Griff is loaning you his other sheepskin coat,” Gus said, pointing to the coat hanging on one of the wooden pegs in the hallway. “If Cat has time, you two might do a little clothes shopping after Jordana gives you a good bill of health.”

“No problem,” Cat said, tucking the gloves in her pockets. “They’ve got sales on winter gear over at the Horse Emporium. Andy has good wrangler gear. We can drive over there after you’re done being checked out by Jordana.”

Talon approached her, eager for closeness. “I’ll need to put Zeke in my room. He’ll be fine there while I’m gone.”

Nodding, Cat tried not to stare blatantly at Talon. Today, more than any other, he looked healthy. His skin was no longer pasty, his eyes dark with fever. It was amazing how quickly he’d rebounded. But then, he was young and strong, not to mention terribly handsome and easy on her eyes.

“Take him to the barber,” Gus told her. “Then get him some clothes to wear.”

“Will do,” Cat told Gus.

Talon passed Cat, caught her eyes and saw her smile up at him. Damn, but her mouth was beautiful. He could almost taste it beneath his. The better he felt, the more he wanted her. And he was going to miss her presence in the house the next two days.

As Cat drove the gray Ford pickup, she pointed out where she’d picked up Talon and Zeke. He scanned the area and shook his head. “It was a close call,” he admitted.

“Too close.” She gave him a quick glance, noticing his pensive expression. Talon had shaved before they left the ranch house. She would swear that he’d gained some weight, too.

“Gus said you have to work today?”

“Yeah, my shift starts later this afternoon.”

Talon looked at all the slushy snow piled up on either side of the wet asphalt highway. The sky was a piercing blue, the sun bright. He’d taken his dark glasses and worn them along with his black baseball cap. Cat’s black hair peeked out from beneath her red knit cap. She had no idea how much she affected him. The sunshine, the first in five days, seemed to invigorate her and she was chattier than usual, laughing more and her eyes shining with happiness. Talon wanted her to see
him
like that. Wanted her eyes to shine with desire toward him. Was it possible? Talon was going to find out sooner or later.

“So,” he said, “are you going to miss our daily Scrabble games?” He tried to sound light.

“I will,” she admitted, giving him a smile. “Is Gus going to let you do a little work around the place if Jordana says you can handle some light duties?”

“Yes. And I’m going to do light duty whether she says I’m up to it or not. I’m just not telling her.”

Cat nodded. “I understand. It’s tough being cooped up and sick. You’re an outdoor guy.”

“You’re pretty perceptive, you know that?”

Cat kept her focus on her driving. The mountain curves had straightened out and they were in the valley, the road straight and four lanes, leading into Jackson Hole. “Thanks.”

“You have good insights into people, Cat.” Hell, he was sleeping like a baby, no nightmares, and Talon found that shocking. He never slept through a night. Maybe because some part of him knew Cat was nearby, just a door away, was the reason he was sleeping so well. Talon was starting to feel human and his depression was lifting, as well. Was it all due to her? His gut told him yes.

“Thanks.” She licked her lower lip, feeling a little shy in Talon’s presence. He was getting well and he no longer needed her care as before. She would miss their intimacy. Now he seemed completely at ease in his world, no questions, no hesitation. He knew his mind and she could see the set in his well-shaped mouth and the gleam in his gray eyes. Even more, she wanted to kiss him, wanted to know how his mouth felt against hers. The man’s sensuality had only grown as he’d recovered.

Their daily Scrabble games had revealed softer, more thoughtful sides to him, and Cat had found herself starved for those precious hours spent in his company. She’d never felt happier. More fulfilled. Hopeful. And when he smiled that slow smile of his, her whole body responded, powerfully.

“I appreciate you making these stops for me today,” he said, meaning it.

“I’m happy to do it,” Cat said.

Talon watched the sunlight touching the snow-clad evergreens. A lot of the snow was melting and then falling off in clumps, creating sudden snow showers, the sun dazzling and almost rainbowlike through the crystals. “Is what you do dangerous, Cat?”

“Firefighting?” She opened and closed her hands against the steering wheel, slowing down as they entered Jackson Hole. “It can be. You just have to know what you’re doing.”

“I noticed you have some red burn marks on the side of your neck.”

Cat’s heart fell for a moment. Talon missed nothing. “Every firefighter gets that,” she said. “When we’re entering a burning structure, our necks and ears are the most exposed and least protected at times.” She unconsciously touched the nape of her neck. “Guess you could say it’s the mark of a firefighter.”

“Your skin is too beautiful to be marred like that.”

“Thanks...” The sincerity in his voice shook Cat. She suddenly felt very feminine beneath his hooded inspection. He wasn’t coming on to her necessarily. He wasn’t a man with pickup lines, unlike other past boyfriends. She sensed Talon was trying to understand her, observe her in a benign kind of way, not to discover a way to control her.

There was silence and she got the feeling he might be a little shy.

“Do you want me to help you load those grain bags?” he asked.

“Naw. Andy has guys who work for him at the Horse Emporium. They’ll stack them in the rear of the pickup. And Griff will carry them into the barn when we get home. No worries.”

“Okay,” he murmured. “What kinds of things happen when you’re on duty at the fire department?”

Cat smiled a little, hearing concern in his tone. “Oh, anything from a run with the ambulance to fighting a structure fire. We get more fires in the winter because so many people have woodstoves in their homes. Some folks don’t get their chimneys cleaned out regularly and chimney fires are very common calls.”