Lines We Forget (9 page)

He’s different—has no interest in money or material possessions. Can’t stand the thought of languishing in a dull house for the rest of his days. His life doesn’t involve keeping up with the Jones, it never has and it never will. It’s all very disappointing to them, he’s sure.

Charlie knows they hate how he’d wasted three years on a pointless degree. That moving to an undesirable part of London to pursue music is abhorrent to them. Busking out on the streets, hoping to be discovered, wasn’t how they’d imagined he’d spend his time.

Of course it hasn’t all quite gone to plan, as at twenty-four years old he still had no idea what he wants from life, but he’d never confess to that, especially not to them. They don’t deserve the satisfaction.

He’s resigned himself to the fate of being the disappointing middle child stuck between two overachieving bookends. Still, he’d gotten a chunk of his late grandfather’s inheritance, something they couldn’t stop, and even though it wasn’t a lot it’s been enough to keep him stocked in guitar strings and flat shares for the last few years.

When Nathaniel and his father trot off to the study to drink brandy and fall asleep, Charlie retires for the night to the relative safety of his old room.

As he takes off his shirt and inspects his unshaven face in the mirror, he hears the door click and someone walk in uninvited.

“Well, that was a total bore.” Natasha kicks off her shoes and sits on the end of his bed. She’s got two glass tumblers in her hands. This takes him by surprise and he fumbles to find his shirt again.

“What are you doing in here?” he asks quietly, finding the whole thing inappropriate, and the memory of her hand snaking its way up his thigh earlier in the day makes him shudder again.

Natasha smiles and swings her legs over to where he’s standing, unable to move. Fearful of the way she’s eyeing him up, and how she moves quickly to meet him.

“Thought we could both do with a strong nightcap—it’s brandy left over from dessert.”

Charlie shakes his head. “I’m fine. Got to drive back tomorrow so it’s best I don’t."

She doesn’t budge. “Suit yourself, but it’s the only thing keeping me from strangling your brother. Today was such a chore, wasn’t it? I can tell that you don’t enjoy your family’s company either.”

“Just tired.”

“Shame, thought we could stay up and drink. Make something of this Christmas, or just drink to forget it.” The way she licks her lips as she speaks makes him take a step back.

“Natasha, I think you should leave. I really just want to get some sleep.”

“Your little speech about your girlfriend earlier was very sweet. I wish someone would talk about me like that,” she purrs, moving closer, her hand inching forwards to curl round the back of his neck.

Charlie moves it and gently pushes her back. “I’m sorry that my brother’s an arsehole but really, you can’t be here. Doing this. I have a girlfriend, as you well know. This is not happening.”

“When we were first introduced, you know, at that stupid party for your parents’ wedding anniversary?”

He backs closer to the door so he can make a quick escape if she decides to corner him again. “Yeah.”

“Well, I saw you and thought—what a pity Nathaniel isn’t like that. Trust me to choose the wrong brother.” Natasha laughs, and it sounds all wrong. “You’re very handsome, I’ve always thought there’s something quite captivating about you.”

“Natasha, really, you need to leave.” The blush that creeps to his cheeks threatens to give her the complete wrong impression.

“I know that you’re aware of Nathaniel’s tendency to fall into the arms of the first girl who’ll lift her skirt for him.”

“Unfortunately, I do.”

She smiles like a Cheshire cat. “I saw the way you looked at me during dinner, and what stirred, even under those tight jeans of yours.”

“I have no idea what you mean. You need to leave, please.”

“No one will know. He’s with your father, drunk and asleep. Your mother’s in the kitchen probably slowly killing herself with the vodka she hides under the sink, Alex has already sneaked out—I saw her meet some boy at the gates. We can be quiet, or not, if that’s what you’d like.”

“I’d like it if you left. Really. This is crazy and not appropriate, you realise that, right?” Charlie replies, and he opens the door ajar for her. “I’m not like my brother, you’re right. So this—” He gestures towards her, then back to him, “—won’t ever happen.”

Natasha shrugs her shoulders, walks towards the door. Still, she’s relentlessly grinning and he worries that she’s got something up her sleeve, a way to make him crumble.

“Fine, but it’s such a shame, Charlie. It would have been the best Christmas present you’d ever got.” She winks and slides past. One hand on the doorframe, the other quickly darts to under his chin without warning like she’s hoping to bring his face closer.

“Leave.” He’s stern and angry. Removes her hand bluntly. Which is enough to send her scurrying down the hallway, sighing loudly as she takes the stairs two at a time.

The whole situation leaves him shaky, and even though he’d been able to divert her away, he still feels oddly guilty.

To appease this he sends Anna a message asking how her Christmas’s been and hopes that her reply will calm his nerves.

When she sends a grainy image of an old lady wearing a bright pink paper hat, he can just about make out Anna’s perfect smiling face next to her. She tells him she’s had a great day, and asks how his has been.

The words
surreal
and
crazy
and
bizarre, unnerving
all come to mind, but he knows there’s nothing to be gained from explaining to her how his brother’s fiancée just propositioned him looking for a quickie. Not over a text message at least.

Instead he replies with a generic
‘
it was as good as could have been expected
,’
and then he bolts shut the door for extra peace of mind.

Sleep quickly takes him into the next day, and he wakes early to pack his bag and leave.

A round of goodbyes and some uneasy cheek kisses with Natasha finish up the weirdest Christmas yet with his family, and Charlie speeds off down the driveway without looking back.

Once the house is out of view, he turns up the radio and heads to Eddie’s sister’s house, which is another good half hour’s drive a way.

“Guessing your day was just as crap as mine,” Eddie sighs when he gets in. “My sister’s kids were little shits and I think my brains turned to mush. I hate Christmas.”

“Me too, buddy. It was a nightmare.”

Charlie blasts the music, and they settle in for the journey back, stopping off at a garage to pick up junk food, agreeing that neither of their respective Christmas dinners had been very appetising or filling. Lacking in flavour and satisfaction that only a petrol station Pot Noodle can remedy.

“How were your crazy family then?” Eddie asks when they hit gridlock on the motorway. The lights of the city guiding them home, promising eventual relief.

He shakes the thought of Natasha off and says, “Dull like usual.”

“Nathaniel there with his latest dolly bird?”

“Yeah, you could say that. Didn’t hang around long enough to speak to any of them.” It’s a lie, but telling Eddie would just open up the possibility of Anna finding out through a muddled Chinese whisper version later on.

“My sister is a complete nutter and her husband’s a right prat. Hated every minute of being there. Got a load of grief about my new tattoos as well. Nightmare,” Eddie groans and Charlie pats him on the back; he understands.

The journey home takes forever and they get caught in further traffic that is slow to disperse. When he does finally arrive back at his flat, he breathes in the familiarity of it all. It’s quiet, and empty. Lucas and his girlfriend thankfully away for the holidays and New Year. Charlie strips off and watches TV with his feet up. Safe in the knowledge there’s not someone lurking, like Natasha ready to pounce or jump his bones.

For the next couple of days, he patiently waits for Anna to call the flat’s buzzer. Eager and anxious to hear that familiar, gentle three-knock thing she does with her knuckles on the front of his door. When it arrives, he rushes to greet her and is overcome with how much he’s missed her.

Anna snuggles into his tight embrace and giggles. He notices she’s got the silly antlers on again, and a tacky jumper that lights up. She drops a large sack by his side.

“Merry belated Christmas, my gorgeous man!” she shouts, this time tackling him to edge of the table with her own hug.

Charlie’s happy, almost forgets about the rubbish time he’s had with her gone and the loneliness of it all.

“I trust you’ve bought offerings of leftover nut roast and mince pies,” he teases between kisses.

She unpacks Tupperware boxes from the bright red sack and smiles. “Did you receive the gift of reading minds for Christmas? Because you’re exactly right. I’ve got all the trimmings—turkey for myself, of course, plus other goodies.”

“You’re amazing, I hope you know that.”

She waves a cracker in his face. “It’s often been said.”

“It’s true. I’ve missed you. Stupid amounts.”

“Soppy thing! Missed you too. I want to hear all about your festive shenanigans but first, can you fire up the microwave? Because this turkey, nut roast, and gravy ain't gonna heat itself up.”

He does as he’s told, and when the timer goes off and he stirs the thick, gloppy gravy he realises that he has to tell her about his brother’s crazy fiancée.

It plays on his mind, and Charlie wants there to be no secrets between them, nothing left unsaid, because Anna means everything. He can’t afford to mess it up, and so when the turkey’s spinning round in the microwave, he tells her.

She laughs loudly, which isn’t the reaction he’d expected but is happy to hear nonetheless. “What a bunch of nutters—that’s really fucked up, Charlie!”

“I don’t want to not tell you things, Anna, I just wanted you to know how weird it was, and that nothing happened of course. I slept fully clothed, with the door bolted shut.”

“I know. I know. I trust you.” She kisses him and he’s grateful she’s taking it all so well. “Ah man, your poor brother, he’s got to marry her. But she’s onto something—you really are a catch.” Anna laughs loudly.

“Not saying it’s right, but he’s not exactly the perfect fiancé either. He’s got many women on the side.”

She scrunches up her face and pretends to gag. “Seriously though, I’m glad you told me. It’s actually quite funny, sorry.”

“Traumatic, don’t you mean,” Charlie jokes.

“Oh, of course, you poor, irresistible babe magnet. Well, don’t worry, you’re safe now. No one’s going to lay their grubby mitts on you apart from me!”

Assembling the makeshift turkey and roast dinner, she grabs two trays and they sit on the sofa. Ready to eat a belated, lukewarm Christmas feast. But not before she makes him pull all the crackers, faking annoyance that he doesn’t cross over his arms when doing so. And she reads all the paper jokes that fall out, wears with delight the silly paper crown hat, asks that Charlie don one too.

Once their plates are clean, Anna throws the sofa cushions to the floor and pulls over a blanket. She sits on top of him and tugs at the hem of her jeans, giggling the whole time.

“I hope you like them,” she says, revealing a pair of red knickers with the worlds
‘
Ho Ho Hoe’
written across them in bold gold glitter.

“You’re absolutely mad, but I love it.” Charlie laughs, feeling tremendous comfort in the warmth of her skin and deep kisses.

Slowly she slides them down, shimmying her legs off the sofa before resuming her position to straddle him. Thighs tight against his hips, hands eager to wander to all the places he likes best. Fingers warm and breath hot, inching her way down.

“I missed this. Just being with you,” he sighs as she arches her back against his arms, giving him the most spectacular view. Her long hair wild, messy, her mouth wide open but her eyes shut. Every inch of her lost in the building waves of satisfaction as she pushes her hips down to a rhythm they’ve come to master, call their own.

And later, once Anna’s made up for all the lost time, left them both exhausted and completely spent, she rests her head on his bare chest and falls asleep.

As she softly snores over the credits for a grainy old Christmas film, Charlie holds her and the memory of the evening tight, not wanting to let a single second of it slip away.

Chapter Nine

Anna

December 31
st
2008

Pulling at the hem of her dress, Anna realises that she hasn’t chosen the easiest outfit to wear for the night. Not least because every guest looks like they’ve picked their New Year’s Eve attire from off their bedroom floor.

Anna stands out like a sore, glittery thumb in a heavily sequined dress and matching heels. Rather stupidly she’d been under the impression that the party Charlie had given her an invite to was going to be a fancy affair.

Briefly it had been mentioned that Eddie lived in a rather beautiful, whitewashed townhouse with another struggling musician whose parents owned most of the block. He’d told her they were throwing a party to celebrate the end of another year and that it would be a big deal.

From the address, she knew it was one of those large townhouses—three stories high with black metal railings and conifer trees. Held up by tall, intricately decorated ceilings with extravagant chandeliers.

So with the city in post-festive sales mode, she picked out what she believed to be the perfect dress for such a place. Keen to make a good impression and fit in with his friends.

When she met Charlie outside the Tube station he was his usual sweet self. Whispering in her ear just how great she looked, that he liked the new sequin ensemble.

“You look dazzling.” He’d smiled as they made the way to the night’s celebrations with a carrier bag full of cheap wine and beer.

The first reaction, however, to the sight of the dress, a stifled laugh and admission that she appeared to be very dressed up, let Anna know that it wasn’t the type of party she’d been expecting. She saw the minimal effort other guests had put into their outfits and it made her want to run home and change. Because a trend was emerging of wide eyes and stunned expressions as Charlie pulled her up the stairs and into the bright open-plan kitchen and lounge.

She was a much too shiny object in a sea of mediocrity and hand-me-down plaid shirts.

“You’re one of a kind, seems fitting for you to wear something that demands attention,” Charlie had told her. “You look beautiful.”

Anna wasn’t convinced, and it made introductions to all the new faces even more testing. It was hard to memorise names when her mind was elsewhere—cursing the last-ditch bargain shopping for her current fashion faux pas.

Still, she carried on, allowing him to pull her towards unfamiliar friends and introduce her as his girlfriend. She’d lost count of how many times she’d heard her own name repeated with curiosity, sometimes with delight, and often with indifference.

And once she’s been paraded round like a human glitter ball, Anna tells Charlie that she’ll get them another drink and slinks, quite literally, back to the kitchen for some peace and quiet.

Now, with her back against the marble countertop, she watches the upper class chaos unfold and she wonders how on earth Eddie got so lucky to live in such a beautiful home.

A small huddle of girls close by remind her, however, that it’s more a case of rich parents than sheer honest luck. All of them loudly discuss the black henna tattoos on their hands and the tans they’ve got from travelling through exotic-sounding foreign lands. She overhears one girl discuss her daddy’s chalet and how small it is in comparison to her boyfriend’s parents’ in the Swiss Alps.

Anna feels out of her depth, like she’s sinking. Aware that she’s the only one who likely pays for her rent and phone bill out of her own pocket. The only one not to have a parent-funded bank account to fall back on.

Drowning in itchy, sharp sequins and loud music, she continues to observe those around her. She finds it ironic that most are dressed like they don’t have a penny to their names—all ripped jeans and scuffed-up trainers. There’s a group of Eddie lookalikes playing a drinking game with cheap vodka whilst sat on a stark white leather sofa. A crystal light fixture with gold leaf accents hangs above them, and she finds it all so ridiculous.

Charlie perches on the end of one too, guitar in arms, which doesn’t surprise her one bit. He’s playing along to the music, foot tapping against the wooden floor, in his element.

Anna wants to rejoin the group but thinks it’s best to leave him to enjoy the company of his seldom-seen friends for a little while longer. There’s a buffet laid out in the kitchen that can keep her entertained, along with all those that interrupt her to ask for the time.

Another partygoer asks and she replies, “Ten thirty-five.”

“Less than two hours to go!” the guy shouts, and the sound of party poppers being prematurely fired follows, streams of colourful string tangling between the mini quiche slices and scotch eggs.

She busies herself with retrieving them all, pausing only to nibble from the cheese board that’s irresistible. The pieces labelled “Vegan” surprisingly taste better than the real thing.

“That one is absolutely delish isn’t it?” a sharp, well-spoken voice says close behind her. Caught like a mouse in a trap, Anna spins round to see an impossibly tall girl smiling at her.

“Oh yeah, it’s nice. I mean, I’m surprised, didn’t think fake cheese could taste as good as the real thing,” she jokes, aware she’s still got her mouth full.

The girl stands back by the fridge, her gaze giving Anna and sequins a once-over. Casually she flicks back her glossy long hair, folds her arms.

“You’re not vegan?” she asks, in a way that leaves Anna afraid to answer. It’s posed not so much as a question but more as an accusation.

“Well, no. Not really.”

The girl shakes her head in disbelief or disgust, Anna can’t quite tell, and when she laughs, she rolls her eyes.

“Then why are you eating it?”

“Because I was hungry?”

“Oh really?”

Anna’s not sure how she’s come to be in the middle of standoff with a random girl over a few pieces of cheese. She wishes Charlie were by her side to agree to the stupidity of the situation and so he could keep her from saying something she’ll likely regret.

“But you people have your own—over there on the other cheese board. There’s plenty left. Not so much of
this
cheese though, I see.” Her face is set in a deep smirk.

Anna’s patience wears thin and she replies half joking, half wanting to rile her up. “I didn’t realise you vegans were so protective about your cheese.”

Snorting loudly, the girl reaches over to pull away the remaining few cubes of cheese on the board before placing it firmly on her side of the kitchen. After, she slowly offers out her bony hand and says, “I’m Jenny.”

Anna accepts and says her name for the hundredth time.

Opening up a beer from the fridge, Jenny asks, “So are you enjoying the party?”

“It’s great, yeah.” Anna knows she can tell it’s a lie.

Picking off the paper label round the beer bottle, she smiles and pauses before saying, “I noticed you arrived with Charlie.”

“Uh, yeah, I did.” She senses more questions will follow and she doesn’t like the way Jenny’s gaze keeps wandering over to where he sits, looking lost in the music.

“So how do you know each other?”

“I’m his girlfriend.” Anna lingers on the last world, holds her glass so tightly in her grip she thinks the stem is going to give way and shatter.

Jenny laughs right at her and almost spits out a mouthful of beer. “Wow.”

“Wow, what?”

“I just mean…he certainly moves on quickly. Not that I expected anything else from a guy like him.”

Anna’s not amused, nor is she enjoying the twenty questions and snide remarks from Vegan Jenny. Hating the way she says his name as if she owns it.

“I’m not sure what you mean by that. Charlie’s a great guy, actually.”

“He can be.”

“Right.” Anna tosses up the idea of snapping the waiflike Jenny in half but reins her anger in.

Putting down her drink to adjust the cord on her long white linen trousers, which she thinks are stupid and impractical, Jenny just smirks.

Anna doesn’t like it. “So how do you know Charlie?”

“We used to be together. Charlie and I dated for a long time.” Jenny grins, obviously happy to catch her off-guard, all too eager to divulge every detail and watch her squirm. “It’s actually pretty complicated, always has been. You know what I mean? It was an intense and passionate relationship. We were just crazy about each other.”

Anna keeps her mouth from hitting the floor, her fists from yanking out stupid, smug Jenny’s belly button ring.

“Broke his heart when we split.”

“So you’re his
ex
then?” Anna puts emphasis on each word.

“Blimey, when you say it like that it all sounds so final, real,” she sighs. “We’ve always had this, how do I put it—strong connection. Yeah, that’s it. A bond between us that meant we always kind of expected to end up together again. Charlie always made it pretty clear he wanted too.”

“Right, of course he did,” Anna replies through her teeth, with fists clenched. “Guess that’s changed now though.”

“Sorry, I’ve been waffling on, haven’t I? I’m sure you don’t want to hear all the gory details of our intense love story!”

Anna’s fuming. “No, not really.”

As she stands with Jenny in silence, a couple passes through the kitchen, angling their bodies so they slide past quickly. Almost like they know better than to get caught in the crossfire.

“I like your dress, by the way—very sparkly.”

“Yeah, it’s sparkly,” Anna says, matter-of-fact. “I should really get back to the party now. Charlie must be wondering where I’ve gotten too.”

“Of course.” Jenny straightens out her back. “So is it all going well, with you and him?”

Anna sips her wine, tosses back her hair, and grins. “Oh yeah. It’s crazy good, Charlie’s wonderful.”

“That’s nice. Great.” She notes that Jenny’s voice wavers slightly and how she’s picking away at the beer label again.

“I feel really lucky to have met someone like him.”

“Great.”

Heels ready to make a move, Anna takes aim as she casually walks away. Looking back over her shoulder at Jenny, she says with as much enthusiasm as she can muster, “Plus, of course, the sex is just out of this world.”

When she’s far enough away, she does a little jig. Her heels click together in triumph because the look on Jenny’s face was priceless. It’s the exact reaction she’d hoped for.

Safely back in the main room, she spies Eddie coming out from a bathroom in the corridor. She waves and forces him to stop with a smile.

“Hey dude, great party!”

“Thanks, bit hectic,” Eddie replies, looking like he’d rather be back in the thick of the party than talking to her.

“Quick question,” she begins, hoping to glamour him with sequins into telling her what she needs to know. “I met one of Charlie’s ex-girlfriends just now.”

His face drops. “Oh, really?”

“Jenny, I think her name is. Anyway I just wanted to find out if she’s, you know, a recent ex or just some nutter who hasn’t gotten over an old school crush,” she enquires, trying to sound casual and upbeat. Like she isn’t bothered one way or another about the actual answer.

“I didn’t realise she was here until about twenty minutes ago. She turned up with my friend Margo. Had no idea she was coming, really sorry,” Eddie says fast, scratching at his beard.

“It’s no problem, really, but back to my question—recent or past girlfriend?”

“Think they broke up about five months ago, maybe more. I don’t know. Can’t you just ask Charlie?”

“I’d rather not. It’s fine, nothing to worry about. Just curious, you know me!” Anna beams, nudging his shoulder to enforce the fact she’s totally fine with having just met her new boyfriend’s beautiful, hostile ex-girlfriend.

“She’s a bit mental,” he offers back.

“Thought so,” she replies. “Well, I won’t keep you. Sure there’s some drinking game that’s calling for you.”

Eddie looks happy as he hurries off. She’s actually surprised to see there isn’t a puddle of nervous sweat where she’s literally just put him on the spot.

“I’ve been wondering where you’d gotten too,” Charlie says when she returns to perch by his side.

“Got stuck at the buffet. You know me, can’t resist free food.”

He kisses her and she enjoys the sensation of his lips on her cheek. How his hand snakes round her waist as he pulls her in close.

“Eddie did say his housemate Jeff went a bit crazy on the food, bought enough wine and cheese to feed a small army of alcoholic mice.” Charlie laughs and Anna brushes his rosy cheeks.

Jenny’s bitterness actually makes perfect sense, she thinks, because Charlie looks wonderfully handsome with his hair pushed behind his ears. No denying that there’s most definitely something about him that makes knees feel weak and rationality go flying out the window.