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Authors: Mariana Zapata

Lingus (20 page)

BOOK: Lingus
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"We need to come up with a name for him," he said, putting the car into drive.

 

"Nuh uh, you need to come up with a name for him. I'll just approve it," I told him, rubbing the big boy's head.

 

Since the radio wasn't on, the short blow of air that sounded like a whisper filled the car. A second later, I was pulling my shirt up to block the godforsaken smell of garbage coming from the backseat.

 

"Oh my fuck! You had to get the farting one, didn't you?" Tristan half laughed and half groaned, throwing an arm over his face.

 

The dog pulled away from me to hop up completely onto the backseat before I saw him start to squat while the top of his back grazed the ceiling of the car.

 

"Pull over! He's peeing on your seat!"

 

Chapter
28

"T-Rex?"

 

"No."

 

"Hercules?"

 

"No."

 

"Fat Boy?"

 

"Definitely not."

 

"Stewart?"

 

"Are you out of your mind?"

 

"No," he sighed. "Okay, what about Chuck?"

 

I had to think about that one for a second. "Maybe."

 

"Romulus?"

 

"Isn't that from
Star Trek
?"

 

"I think you're a closet nerd."

 

"I think you should shut up. I had a thing for the guy who played Kirk."

 

He laughed but I couldn't see his expression. "At least he's in your age range. I was worried you were going to say you had a thing for old Spock."

 

"Leave me alone," I laughed in return.

 

"Skittles?"

 

"No."

 

"Midas?"

 

"Maybe."

 

"Bruno?"

 

"No."

 

"Gomer?"

 

"Maybe."

 

"Jigsaw?"

 

"You are not naming him after a character in that movie."

 

Another sigh. "Fine. Yoda?"

 

"Ooh, I kind of like that one. He looks like a Yoda, doesn't he?" I asked, propping myself onto my elbows to look at the unnamed puppy. He was busy taking a nap on the grass five feet away from us.

 

His big face was all scrunched up in a deep sleep, and he totally looked like freaking Yoda. Tristan snorted, and I saw him prop himself up on his hands to look at his new buddy. "He does look like a Yoda."

 

It'd been five days since Tristan adopted the mastiff-mix from the shelter, and the poor dog had been called everything from Sugarpop to Spot to Wesley. I finally had to tell Tristan that he needed to decide on a name before the poor baby had an identity crisis. Everyday, Tristan had dropped by my apartment to pick me up and take me over to his house after work so we could spend time with his son. After the pee-incident in the Audi, I sensed the hesitation in Tristan's body language when he first walked into his house. I think he expected to see the worst, but the gigantic baby was an angel in his crate. We'd taken him for walks around the block, but mainly, we hung out in the spacious backyard and laid around. Every once in awhile, we tried to teach Sugarpop/Spot/Wesley how to play fetch. It wasn't going so well.

 

At that moment, we were plastered on the grass with the late afternoon sun warming our skin. It was kind of wonderful out there. Two huge trees loomed over the backyard, the grass was cut short, and Tristan had been training the future Yoda to poop in the same section of backyard, so we could pretty much lay down anywhere and be safe from his huge shits.

 

Tristan made a funny noise from his spot a couple of feet away. "I think Yoda it is," he paused, before turning to look in the puppy's direction. "Yoda!"

 

Big brown eyes looked up in Tristan's direction when the name was called out. His huge head tilted in a way that looked like he was asking what was going on. I'd grown to really, really like the big boy in the time I'd been around; he was the sweetest thing. Even though he farted every ten minutes, I thought he was awesome. It was even more awesome that he followed me around everywhere instead of Tristan. When we sat on the couch, Tristan on one side and me on the other, he'd go and stick his big head right in front of one of our faces to get our attention. Matlock, on the other hand, was not so fond of the dog smell when I got home every night.

 

"Kat?" His voice was softer than usual.

 

"Hmm?"

 

"I'm really glad we're friends," he said, and it was enough to make me tear my eyes away from Yoda licking his butt-hole in order to look at him instead.

 

I was sure the smile on my face was so big and goofy that it looked like my face might get stuck like that, but his words seemed so sincere and sweet that I couldn't help it. "Me too, Mag."

 

Chapter
29

"Do you think she has a bun in the oven?"

 

I made a noise of disbelief in my throat while simultaneously keeping my eyes on the road— I also didn't trust Zoey to multitask safely. Driving and talking was much harder for her than talking on the phone and ironing, which she had failed at spectacularly on several occasions. "No way, they've only been seeing each other for how long? Two weeks?"

 

Nicole had called earlier in the day demanding that we meet at a pub down the street from her place. Zoey and I were at the gym when I answered, and as soon as I told her that I wasn't in the mood to go out, she threatened to change the password to her online porn subscriptions. That bitch. She claimed she had something very important to tell us. Which was exactly why Zoey and I were brainstorming ideas as to what could be that important.

 

"Maybe she got a promotion at work?" Zoey chirped up, taking a sharp right turn that made my toes curl.

 

Nicole worked at the same law firm that her dad owned, so that could have been a big possibility. "Yeah, maybe or knowing Nikki, she probably managed to deep-throat Calum and wants to celebrate."

 

Zoey snickered and nodded, while steering her Beetle into a small spot on the street. "Maybe she's getting a sex change?"

 

We'd joked around about Nicole being more of a man than a woman because of the sheer size of her imaginary balls. People at work called her Nicole "The Ball Buster" Jonasson because of her take-no-shit attitude. Men cowered in fright from her like they rightfully should. Last Christmas, Josh bought her a set of those metal balls that guys hung off the back bumpers of their trucks as a joke.

 

We were out of the car and through the door of the pub a few minutes later, still thinking up ideas as to what Nicole could have been wanting to announce. It wasn't too packed considering there was a baseball game on the large screens mounted over the bar. I spotted Nikki's tall frame in a back corner and pointed in her direction before Zoey poked my side, gesturing toward the bar.

 

"I'm going to get a drink first. What do you want me to get you?" she asked.

 

I was glad it wasn't so loud enough that I couldn't hear her. "Whatever you get, Zo." I shrugged. She tended to stick to really girly drinks which I was all for, so I knew her choice would be good. She nodded and headed to the bar while I weaved through the people milling about, spying both Nicole and Calum sitting up on stools at a table.

 

She shot me a big smile and wrapped me in a tight hug. "I've missed you," she admitted, and I had to nod in agreement. I didn't think I'd ever gone three consecutive days without seeing her sandy colored head in all the years since we'd met. Even though I had Tristan's company to distract me from her absence, my heart still recognized that I hadn't spent any time with someone I loved and valued. My mom has been dead for fifteen years, and I still missed her in a way that words could never explain properly. I'd learned over the years that when you genuinely loved something, it left an impression on you forever.

 

"Hi Kat," Calum piped up from his spot next to Nikki.

 

"Hey," I said, holding my hand up for a high-five, which he slapped with vigor. I liked him. A good high-five said a lot about a person; just like a handshake did. I hated limp fish handshakes like you couldn't imagine.

 

I felt my ass being grabbed roughly, and although I should have been alarmed by the intimate gesture, with Zoey and Josh possibly in the picture I had no doubts that it was one of their perverted asses. Sure enough, I turned around slowly to spy two blonde heads behind me. One head had short hair, while the other had much longer and darker blonde hair. Josh and Leo, of course.

 

"Booger Bear!" Josh exclaimed in his loudest shriek. He only did that when he had already started drinking, so I was a little scared.

 

"What's up, homolofagous?" I laughed and gave my friend a hug. I hadn't seen him since we'd gone bowling, and we had only been texting intermittently since he began seeing Leo the day of his party. That sort of absence with my closest friends seemed to be going on much more frequently now than ever before, leaving me a little unsettled.

 

He rolled his eyes and shot me the middle finger. He hated it when I called him that but seriously, I thought he got a kick out of it secretly. Josh busied himself saying hi to Nicole and Calum while I tried to high-five Leo, who played hand-tag with me until he awkwardly landed his palm against mine. I'd forgiven him for the weak high-five since he could moonwalk. In no time, Zoey was back with what looked like two margaritas before shoving one in my direction. Nicole made us rally around the table, her hazel eyes wide and a little maniacal.

 

I sat between Zoey and Josh, smashed in close to their two thin bodies when I felt two big hands land on my shoulders. Looking over one, I spotted the familiar reddish-brown hair towering over me. "Hey," he said, very close to my ear. I raised a hand to squeeze his fingers. I wanted to lean back against him but I didn't; he was warm enough to feel through the thin material of my blouse.

 

"Now that all of you bitches are here," Nicole began. She stood right next to Calum, holding hands like cutie pies. "We have something very important to tell you."

 

Oh my God.

 

Then it hit me,
she's going to start doing porn, too
.

 

"What? No!" Nicole blurted out, her pretty face screwed into a grimace. Oh shit, I guessed I said that out loud and blushed all over. "Calum asked me to marry him, and I said yes!"

 

I gasped.

 

Tristan's hands squeezed the shit out of my shoulders.

 

Zoey tensed up.

 

Josh made a noise that could only be described as a snicker and a snort mixed together.

 

Then there was silence.

 

"Seriously?" Zoey's small voice squeaked.

 

Nicole rolled her eyes and held up her hand to show a mighty nice-looking solitaire diamond resting on her ring finger. "Yes, dumbasses."

 

What. The. Fuck.

 

My brain raced, and I was sure everyone else's were as well. Calum and Nicole had only known each other for three weeks. Three weeks! They'd only been seeing each other for two of those.

 

I had fish that didn't survive longer than that same amount time, and Calum and Nikki were deciding to get married. I was dumbstruck. As my brain continued trying to process all of it, I only thought of Nicole and the person she was. She was the most self-assured and confident individual I had ever met, she knew what she wanted and always got it. Nikki didn't wear her heart on her sleeve, and never made decisions without seriously considering all of her options. She knew what she was doing.

 

This was the Nikki who always catered to all of my whims, regardless of how stupid she might think them to be. Who stood in line for four hours to watch the last Transformers movie with me at midnight on opening night? Nicole. Who went with me to a book signing the day before her bar exam? Nicole. Who had always been there for me no matter what? Nikki. I loved her, and the fact that she was excited as hell while the rest of us just stared dumbly forward snapped me out of my haze.

 

"I'm so happy for you!" I gushed out while my head spun with information and acceptance.

 

She lit up like a firecracker and smiled so brilliantly I felt terrible that I hadn't been immediately excited for her. The only time I'd ever seen her so excited was when we'd been at porn con waiting to meet Calum. Go figure.

 

"I can't believe it!" Zoey finally snapped out of her mind-trip, hopping out of her seat to jump into Nikki's arms.

 

Very quickly after that, the other two idiots, not including Leo — who hadn't given me enough reason to consider him one — were offering their congratulations to the newly engaged couple. I was sure we were all wondering the same things, but none of us wanted to ruin their happy moment with difficult questions. Technically, it shouldn't be any of our business how they decided to work out their relationship, but I was so attached and protective of Nikki that I needed to have answers at some point.

 

"I'm going to need another drink," Zoey whispered into my ear once our circle had dispersed a bit. She was sucking her margarita down like it was water on a hot day.

 

It turned out that everyone needed another drink after the announcement. We chugged down drink after drink at the table before deciding to move to a different side of the pub.

 

"Honk!" Zoey exclaimed, palming my boob roughly as we walked over to the pool tables located on the opposite corner of the bar. She was plastered after two margaritas and paid the bathroom about eight visits since we'd gotten there. I was the one stuck going with her each time, and she fondled my ass or boob on every run.

BOOK: Lingus
10.28Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
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