Lion's First Roar (3 page)

“Vee?” He burst into the house through the front door and found Boychenko sitting on the stairs, his head resting in his hands. The look of relief on the kid’s face was easily spotted. “Where is she?”

“In the bedroom with her doula,” Boychenko said, standing and stepping aside. “The SUV is ready to go. I’ve got your bags in the back seat.”

Nikolai nodded at the kid and raced upstairs. Ten leaned against the wall outside the master suite. Arms crossed, he looked tense and upset. Shoving off the wall, Ten swore loudly in Russian. “Were you pushing the car?”

Nikolai cast a warning glare in the enforcer’s direction. “Not now.”

“I think it’s starting to get serious,” Ten remarked. “She was walking around the house and climbing up and down the stairs but she went into the bedroom about forty minutes ago.” He checked his watch. “She and Kiki haven’t come out since, but Vivian is making a lot of noise.”

Stepping inside the bedroom, he found Vivian walking from one end of the bedroom to the other while Kiki encouraged her to keep moving and to relax and blow through the next contraction. As soon as she spotted him, Vivian smiled. He rushed to her side, eating up the floor with long strides and engulfed her in a loving embrace. She buried her face against his neck. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“I’m sorry it took so long.”

“It’s okay. My contractions are twelve minutes apart. This is going slowly. I didn’t even—
unnhhh.
” She gripped his arms so tightly he actually flinched.

Realizing she was tensing up, he grasped the back of her neck in one hand and kneaded gently. He placed his other hand on her rock hard belly. The training they had attended kicked in suddenly. “You have to relax, Vivian. Every time you tighten up and fight the contraction, it will hurt more.”

As if calmed by his very presence, she blew out a slow, noisy breath. He could feel her muscles easing. She sagged against him, holding onto his waist and rocked side to side. Pressing his cheek to hers, he closed his eyes and held her, giving her the support she needed, until the contraction ended.

When he opened his eyes, he discovered Kiki still seated on the chair but she smiled warmly at him. After all those weeks of not liking her, he felt strangely happy to have her approval.
I’m not going to fuck this up. I can do this. I can help Vee get through this.

Pointing to the bathroom, Kiki mouthed one word at him, “Shower.”

Remembering the discussions about water and showers helping during the first phase of labor, he quietly led Vivian into the bathroom and shut the door. He turned on the shower, not too hot, and jerked at his tie. Not caring where his clothes landed, he dropped them haphazardly behind him and then helped Vivian out of her yoga pants and tank top.

They hadn’t been under the warm spray of the rain-style heads very long before she whimpered with pain again. Leaning back against him, she swayed side to side. He wrapped his arms around her naked body, supporting her belly, and kissed her neck. “Breathe,
solnyshka
. You can do this. One contraction at a time.”

Alone with Vivian in the steamy confines of their bathroom, he realized that all the dread he had been experiencing and all of his fears about what could go wrong weren’t going to help her. He had to let go of all that and be the strong, fearless man she needed.
This isn’t about you. It’s about her.

Whispering encouragement and keeping his hands on her so she would remember that she wasn’t alone, he talked her through the pains gripping her body. One contraction, two contractions, three contractions—they stayed in the shower for five of them before she wanted to rest her legs.

Not caring who saw the tattoos he normally kept covered, he wrapped a towel around his waist and covered her in the fluffy bathrobe she kept behind the door. He didn’t bother Vivian with questions about what she wanted to wear. He grabbed a camisole and cotton undies from her side of the walk-in closet and helped her into them.

Out in the bedroom, Kiki had brought out a large birthing ball. Vivian gladly dropped onto it and leaned forward against the mattress. The doula massaged Vivian’s lower back while he hastily dressed. He came out of the bathroom to the sounds of his wife gripped by another contraction. Glancing at his watch, he calculated the time between them. At this rate, she was going to be in labor for hours!

Wordlessly, Kiki encouraged him to take her place and then quietly left the bedroom. He placed his chin on Vivian’s shoulder and kneaded her lower back. “What else can I do to help you?”

“Just don’t leave me,” she said, her voice unnaturally tight and fast. “I need to be able to see you.”

“
Zolota.
” He kissed her temple. “I’m here. I’m not leaving your sight again.”

Vivian rested her forehead on her crossed arms and rocked back and forth on the ball. Her voice was muffled as she asked, “How was my dad?”

He didn’t think this was the time to talk about her father, but if it kept her mind off the pain and discomfort, he would tell her anything she wanted to know. “He was good. He told me that he’s going to come see you and the baby soon.”

“And your business?”

He started to tell her not to worry about any of that, but he knew her too well. She would dwell on it if he didn’t reassure her. “Everything worked out exactly the way I wanted.”

“Good.” Relief filled her voice. “I’m glad.”

The next two hours passed the same as the first. She rocked on the ball. She walked. She leaned against him and swayed. He managed to get her to drink and even eat a banana that Kiki had grabbed from downstairs. The doula continued to surprise him by staying out of their way and only offering support or advice when it was needed. He silently—and grudgingly—agreed that Vivian had been right about hiring a birthing specialist.

The contractions grew stronger and closer together until—finally—it was time to leave for the hospital. By now, Ten was pacing the hallway. Boychenko looked like he might pass out when Vivian had to stop halfway down the stairs to growl her way through a particularly painful contraction.

“I’m driving.” Ten swiped the keys to the SUV from their peg. “You.” He pointed at Kiki. “Sit up front with me.”

The doula didn’t seem to know what to make of the giant enforcer. She simply nodded and trailed after him with her bags of supplies. Boychenko stayed behind to watch the house, but Ilya and some of Artyom’s crew were waiting outside to ride escort, just in case. Nikolai didn’t think anyone was stupid enough to make a move tonight, but he never took anything for granted, not where Vee was concerned.

If anyone did have the balls to try something, they wouldn’t have those balls for much longer. He wouldn’t call Kostya in for that job either. It would be one he would do himself—and relish.

Once they were on the road, Vivian’s contractions seemed to grow more intense, but she became focused and unnervingly quiet. If it wasn’t for her hand gripping his so tightly his fingertips went numb, he wouldn’t have even known she was in pain. Ten nervously eyed the backseat in the mirror’s reflection. Kiki twisted and angled her upper body so she could offer help. Nikolai tuned out everyone except for Vivian. He held her gaze as she breathed through her longest and strongest contraction yet.

When they reached the hospital, Ten stayed behind to deal with parking. With their hospital bag slung over his shoulder, Nikolai helped Vivian out of the vehicle with Kiki’s help. They made their way inside and were quickly taken up to the labor and delivery floor.

The chaos he had expected never happened. An obstetrician from Vivian’s practice was on the floor and came to greet her while the nurse and midwife on shift took her vital signs and made sure they had her medical history correct. When they asked her if she wanted to stay in her camisole and remove everything from the waist down or use one of the hospital gowns, she opted for the gown.

“Help me?” She didn’t seem to be able to speak in long sentences anymore. It was as if her brain had decided to shut down certain functions so her body’s sole focus could be on birthing their child.

“Come on,” he said gently. Sliding his arm around her shoulders, he guided her into the bathroom and out of her clothing. He had turned around to fold her camisole and skirt when he heard her gasp. Spinning around, he found Vivian cradling her belly and staring at the floor where an increasingly large puddle started to form.

Her eyes were wide open, and she looked completely shocked. “I think my water just broke.”

“Let’s get you cleaned up.” He peeled the wet gown from her body and helped her into the shower. “I’ll get you a new one.”

When he opened the bathroom door, the midwife and nurses shifted him out of the way and efficiently tackled the situation. Once they were assured Vivian was perfectly fine and the amniotic fluid was clear, she was allowed to shower and finish changing. He helped her into the bed and stood back while an IV was placed in her hand—just in case—and a monitoring band was wrapped around her belly.

The sound of his son’s strong heartbeat filled the room. The thrill of anticipation rocked him right to the core. Before this night was over, he would be holding his son in his arms.
I’m going to be a father.

“Eight centimeters,” the midwife announced after checking Vivian’s progress. She patted his wife’s knee and grinned encouragingly. “Not long now, sweetheart.”

Vivian glanced up at him and managed a weak smile. A grimace quickly replaced it. They soon realized she couldn’t handle the pain while in bed. A wireless monitoring device was attached to her belly, and they began the same routine they had been working through at the house—walking, rocking, squatting. With Kiki’s guidance and his own intuition, he helped Vivian as best he could.

“Please stop checking your watch!” Vivian snapped after a particularly long and intense contraction.

Taken aback by the gruff command, he simply nodded and removed his watch, sticking it in his pocket and forgetting about the damned thing. He hadn’t realized he was checking it so often. “I didn’t mean to make you feel rushed, Vee.”

“I know.” She pressed her forehead to his chest and leaned into him. “I’m sorry.”

“No. Don’t apologize. We’re fine.” He wrapped his arms around her and massaged her back. “We’re fine.”

“I think I’m going to be sick.” Vivian jerked away from him suddenly and frantically glanced around the room.

“Here.” Kiki appeared with a basin and a washcloth just as his wife succumbed to the nausea. While Vivian retched, Kiki whispered, “Transition.”

Now the pain seemed to be at its worst. Vivian squatted along the edge of the bed, gripping onto the mattress, and panted through the contractions wracking her small body with such torment. She wasn’t making any noise other than those measured breaths. He couldn’t even imagine the agony gripping her now. Guilt ate at him.
I did this to her.

He had to bite his tongue when he thought about how much relief an epidural would give her. She could be pain-free and resting in bed instead of trying to find new ways to embrace the pain as her body worked to force their child from her womb. Remembering the hell of recovering from stab wounds and gunshots, he wondered how many times over labor pains were magnified. Ten? Twenty?

And this wasn’t even the worst part of labor. Soon, she would be in sheer hell. His legs started to buckle as a wave of nausea hit him while he imagined the incredible pain that would accompany the baby’s descent and exit.

Take the drugs, Vee. Just take the fucking drugs!
He wanted to shout for her to change her mind, to let a doctor come in before it was too late.

But he didn’t say that.

Crouched down next to his wife, Kiki glanced up at him as if to silently prod him to do something. Taking a clean washcloth from the stack next to the sink in the labor and delivery suite, he soaked it in cold water, wrung it out and returned to her side. Assuming the same crouched position, he wiped her forehead and tenderly kissed her temple.

Speaking in Russian, just for her, he whispered, “You’re doing so well. You fucking amaze me, Vivian.” He claimed her mouth now. “
Solnyshka.
” He kissed her again. “We’re almost there. I’m so proud of you.”

No longer focused on the wall across the room, she held his gaze and nodded. He shifted until he was directly behind her and sitting on that spongy birthing ball. With his arms under hers, he held her up and gave her the support she needed to squat without tiring her legs. The contractions were right on top of each other now, and Vivian seemed to be vocalizing her pain much more.

Every now and then, he noticed the strange looks from the hospital staff. He didn’t blame them for being agog. Men like him weren’t known for being gentle or patient. With his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his mob tattoos on full display, he looked more like a prison inmate than a loving partner gently guiding his wife through her first childbirth.

When the midwife knelt down to check her after Vivian had a series of difficult contractions, she seemed surprised. “Oh! You’re plus two!”

What the hell does that mean?

“Okay, kiddo,” the midwife said, “if you want to give birth here, that’s fine. But if you think you want to be up in bed it’s time to move.” She patted Vivian’s knee again. “Because this baby is on his way.”

On his way? Now?

“Bed,” Vivian grunted. “My legs hurt so badly right now.”

He didn’t even wait for the midwife to stand. In the next heartbeat, he was on his feet and scooping Vivian up into his arms. He carefully placed her on the bed and stroked her hair while the staff flew into a whirlwind of activity. Kiki moved to the other side of the bed and talked quietly with the midwife about the birth plan and the things Vivian wanted to try to avoid.

Turning her face, Vivian gripped the front of his shirt. “Oh my God, Nikolai.” He could hear the fear in her voice now. A tear dripped from the corner of her left eye. “This hurts so much. I literally can’t—
unnnhhhh
.” She squeezed her eyes shut and whimpered pitifully. “
Blyad!
”