Lisette (12 page)

Elisha leaned down and kissed her brow then
stood there another while before leaving and nodding in answer to
the small smile the nurse offered.

In his sister’s rooms, he did much the same,
crossed to where she sat at the bank of windows, but this time he
sat on his haunches and took her hands, his silver gaze meeting
hers of like hue.

“I’ve been invited to the Duke and Duchess of
Wimberly’s estate again.”

She visually searched his face. “You must go.
You must not worry about us, Elisha. Mama will never come back from
where she has gone. I will be okay.”

His stomach experienced a dip. No, his mother
would never come back. But would Pamela ever feel the way every
living person had the right to feel—alive? Her raven hair was
combed loose and long, flowing down her back to her hips. However,
her face, like her body, was thin and frail—her fullish lips always
dry, and her eyes having dark shadows under them.

The hands he held were too thin and cold.

He reached up and touched the fragile skin of
her face. “Someday, when you are better, I’ll take you to London,
to the finest dressmakers and we’ll go to a grand ball.”

Although she smiled slightly, she said, “It’s
all right being happy. It is what I want for you. You have changed
much and for the better. You must be happy and live the best life
you can, Elisha.”

“You could be too, Pamela.”

She looked away from him and out the window.
“I’m content.”

“This is not content.” Elisha released her
hand and arose, walking over to open the window to fresh air. “This
is not living.”

“It’s the best life I can have.”

“No. No it isn’t.”

“You’re thinking of her? The lady who made
you smile again.”

“Yes. They live, Pamela.” He leaned a
shoulder against the casement gazing out but seeing memories. “She
breathes life into everything she does.”

“Then she is just what you need.”

He glanced at her, always seeing where beauty
would have rested should she have had another life. Should she—with
mercy, recover. Should everything not have been robbed, and
savagely taken from her.

She turned her head and caught him studying
her. “Go to her. Go, live, and enjoy life. You have done everything
you can. Mama is where she wants to be, and who are we, to force
her back? She can exist wherever she has gone to. Last winter, when
she was so ill, the nurse said that she gets angry that she
recovers. She wants to be released from life, from the memories—and
realities. Eventually, she will find mercy and we must not mourn
that, brother.”

He held her gaze a moment longer, his heart
trembling. “I don’t want you to follow her, Pamela.”

“You should be free of us. You have managed
to come out of the worst of it, and you have done everything you
can to make up—for—something that was not your fault. None of us
would have chosen to be born into this family. Although I profane
the word family, calling it such. But you have done the hardest
part, Elisha, for all of us.”

“Choose to live, Pamela.” He pulled away and
came over to her again, stroking her hair. “I know what I’m asking.
Buy you have punished yourself for things that aren’t your fault,
too. Do not give him your very life. He stole enough—from all of
us.”

She covered his hand at the side of her head,
and leaned her cheek against the side of his thigh, while he stood
there looking down at her. She said, “Go to the duke and duchess’s,
and write to me, tell me how it was.”

He said he would, but Elisha was always
afraid of what would happen to her whilst he was gone. Afraid—the
darkness would consume her.

* * * *

It was some hours later, he sent off his
reply. And another week, before he and Mr. Smith were on their way
back to London. They were standing in the small garden at the
estate however when he admitted, “I shouldn’t do this. I shouldn’t
take it further.”

“What would you have done then, if she had
accepted your suit the first time?”

“I don’t know. Wed her—and regretted it, for
her sake.”

Smith offered, “I think you should tell her
everything. I think, you should let her make up her own mind.”

The sinew in Elisha’s dark face tightened. “I
can’t do that. I can’t lose what little I have of her feelings for
me.”

Smith gazed around the garden, a soft breeze
wafting his long hair against his white shirt. “What do you want me
to do, Elisha?”

“Be yourself. Enjoy them.”

Studying the man from head to toe, sun
glinting on his raven hair, warming his naturally tanned skin, the
shirt with sleeves rolled back, in tight-fitted black trousers and
boots, Smith brought his gaze back up to that profile that most
could only describe as hard and aloof. He would always see so much
more.

“There will come a time when the decision has
to be made.”

“I know,” Elisha rasped and turned his gray
eyes to meet Smith’s. He released smoke he had inhaled from a
cheroot. “I’ll walk away, and Lisette will find the man she’s
dreamed of—the one who is supposed to be with her. Suited for her.
And she’ll be happy.”

“And you?”

“Glad, my friend.” A sad smile lingered on
Elisha’s mouth. “Glad that I had whatever I did, with her.”

When he turned his eyes away and walked the
garden path, Smith watched him, and now and then saw a vapor of
smoke wreath around him. He did not know if he admired Elisha’s
selflessness, or was more angered, he did not believe enough in
himself, and Lisette—in love, although there was nothing in his
life to teach him of the healthy kind, to seize this change at
happiness.

He would go, and he would enjoy himself,
because it meant everything to Elisha that he do so. However, he
watched that figure, always so solitary and aloof, save when
Lisette was near, or in his thoughts, and he said a prayer—that
love would heal the wounds and banish the ghosts that haunted those
who dwelt in this place, forever.

Chapter Six

Wimberly Manor…

The guests began arriving at an early hour,
some two dozen, who were friends of the duke and duchess, and a few
known to Deme. They were in a celebratory mood, the family and
staff, and the servants bustled about, arranging formal lunches,
seeing to baggage, essentially doing their jobs well so that the
family could relax and enjoy themselves. Flowers and greenery
graced the rooms and halls, windows were cleaned and opened, and
the courtyard was decorated, tables with white cloths, holding fine
wines, overflowing trays, and sparkling china.

Lisette greeted Deme and Haven when they
arrived, and then left Haven in her mother’s hands, knowing how
important it was for the duchess to show support to, and for, her
daughter in a law. A dressmaker was on hand to adjust a ball gown
picked out and sewn in stages over the months. The champagne silk
would be altered to accommodate Havens growing belly.

As for herself, Lisette wanted simplicity.
She chose from the gowns she had never worn, a flowing teal satin,
sleeveless, with which she would wear lace fingerless gloves, and
her pearls. She had matching pumps and her hair would be done
straight with the front pulled up simply too. With the subtle
cosmetics, she would be more comfortable than the elaborate style
observed in Town. She wanted to celebrate Deme and Haven, and the
nephew or niece that would come.

But yes—her eyes were hungry for the site of
another.

The night of the party, she scarcely noticed
the level of noise had increased. Music in the smaller rear
ballroom filled the air. Guests and servants were constant going up
and down stairs, their laughter and voices muffled as they passed
her door. Her brother James showed up with several comrade in arms,
and a couple of beauties—whom her mother had greeted as effusively
as she had the grander, more titled and wealthier guests. Her
younger sisters would be allowed to stay for some time so long as
they behaved.

Lisette remembered her first party. She had
been excited for a whole hour, but then ate so much from the
delicacies that she’d thrown up in the middle of the ballroom
floor. How simple were the problems of childhood, how minor the
worries.

Sighing, she whispered, “I’ve grown up. I’ll
never be the same.” She acknowledged that much of that was because
she had taken Marston for a lover. Certainly, she felt transformed,
if not completely happy.

There was too much uncertainty and too many
shades of gray to be that.

Lisette thanked the maid who helped her
prepare and reached up to touch one of the pearls in her ears.
There would little or no time to be with him save a dance perhaps.
But if he came, that would be enough. It would mean something. It
had to.

She arose and with a last glance at her
reflection, left and went below.

Lisette’s heart leapt at the sight of Elisha
arriving an hour later, although their greeting took place in the
receiving line. Only their eyes spoke. She took in his dark face
and was again filled with a sense of his potent presence. She
welcomed his friend, and had the sense that the man was observing
both, she and Elisha- and when he squeezed her hand after
bowing—she felt oddly that he was trying to tell her something.

Having done her duty, Lisette took his arm
and offered, “Let me introduce you to everyone, and then the men
will drag you off to the card room.”

She did introductions watching Mr. Smith—and
admiring his ease and friendly manner, observing him as a man well
read, and easily commenting on any topic. When they were with her
brother, she saw a spark of humor in him—and since Monty and Deme
had Marston in their company, she left Smith with them, receiving
another kiss on her hand and a warm smile that echoed in Elisha’s
eyes when they parted.

(I cannot tell you.) Lisette mused mentally,
walking idly around and occasionally smiling at guests. That is
what Marston had said about why Smith used that bogus name. She was
curious. There was a connection between the men that was unique.
Though Marston seemed to relax with others, she sensed Smith got
behind that wall, or whatever it was, that kept him somewhat aloof.
Whatever put Elisha on the outside, for most of his life, Smith
knew it.

“I’m glad you invited him,” Juliette
murmured, as they got champagne.

“I am too.”

Scanning Lisette’s face, her friend offered,
“If it’s any help, we all have a good feeling about Marston. And,
he is, tall, dark, and handsome.”

Lisette laughed. “It means very much to me,
what you think. If—it comes to anything.” She found Marston with
her eyes. He was talking to the men, but also looking at her. “And
he is handsome, in that very dark and harsh way. But, it is not me
pulling back. Yet, I know better than to push too soon.”

Juliette offered, “It will work out, if it is
meant to be. Meanwhile, I’m here for you.”

“Thank you.” Lisette grinned softly. “I love
you for it.” She winked and then left her side to mingle. She did a
lot of that, mingling, keeping in mind it was Deme and Haven’s
day—having only a brief dance with the Viscount.

He’d come to her side when she was speaking
with someone, and took her hand. She had looked up at him and then
moved to the dance floor, eager to be in his arms, if only for a
waltz.

“I’m glad you came,” she uttered quietly.

“As am I.” His gaze moved over her and
returned to hold hers. “You take my breath away,” his tone was
rough.

“You flatter me. But I find that I like being
flattered by you.”

His gaze was on her lips next.

Her mouth watered.

They wanted to kiss.

Lisette also knew eyes would be watching. Not
just guests, but family. So she whispered, “I want that. Soon.”

He whirled her around, “Soon.”

The dance was over. He bowed and upon rising
said, “Sometimes I think we’re in a dream.”

Her stomach fluttered. “Then we are having
the same one. And if memory serves, we’re enjoying it, very
much.”

His mouth did that little curve and she
wanted to grab him and ravish him right there. Instead, Lisette
turned to dance with her brother who was waiting. Marston was
dancing with Haven.

He is here, she told herself when her mind
started sifting through every little look and word. That had to be
enough, for now.

* * * *

The guests who had remained the following
day, after the grand party, were treated to breakfast in the
gardens, and afterwards the duke took Aiden, Mr. Smith and Elisha
on a tour of the estates. Monty was also in that group, along with
Deme.

Lisette kept herself occupied, visiting with
Haven, listening to her gushing with happiness at marriage and Rose
Hill. Lisette, along with the duchess and Juliette agreed to come
and visit there in late summer. It sounded like a wonderful place
and any home Haven and Deme had, would be full of entertainment and
laughter, and plenty to do.

Evening came, and the men returned and
refreshed before they joined everyone.

The duke and duchess settled in the back
courtyard, happily looking forward to watching everyone at their
leisure. Family and pets were scattered over a wide expanse of
lawns and gardens, romping about. The girls were running with their
new puppy, and Lisette watched Monty and Mr. Smith begin a game of
tennis—which Aiden eventually coaxed Elisha into. She did not know
if he could play but was certain that Aiden and the others would
teach him.

The men were in casual ware, close-fitted
pantaloons and thin linen shirts with no collar and sleeves rolled
back. The spring sun was delicate in a blue sky, and the sounds of
their masculine laughter, Aiden’s teasing Monty mostly, drew many
eyes.

Lisette enjoyed watching Elisha’s body in
motion. Even if he did not know most of the sports, he had strength
and muscle for them, and yes, it did arouse her watching him
move.