Little Conversations (4 page)

And tonight… Tonight she had fervently kissed him and
implored him with her breathy pleas.  The excitement of her in his arms had
shot straight through his body, making him instantly hard as granite.  All his
well-meaning resolve had crumbled as he felt her lips on his neck, her hands
clutching low on his back as she franticly pulled him towards her.  The
intensity of her desire, coupled with the poor judgment of his own inebriated
mind, lowered his inhibition.  With a fierce groan deep in his throat, he had
kissed her back. 

Ronin had tried desperately to be smart about it all.  He
really, really tried.  He knew she was absolutely plowed.  He knew she would
probably hate him in the morning.  He knew with every fiber of his soul that giving
into the passion she evoked was a bad idea. 

But
good God,
he wanted her. 

When she had whispered she was clean, that she wanted him
without a condom, he had just about lost it right there.  The thought of being
inside her bare, as wet and silky as she’d felt when he touched her, made him swell
and pulse.  He had steeled himself to stay in control. 

Please…
she had whispered again.

And he had been completely lost in her.  It had damn near
killed him when she cried out
Wait!

What they’d been doing a few moments before had been…
amazing
. 
Maybe it was beer goggles or maybe it was their drunken lack of restraint. 
Whatever it was, it was…
Wow!
 

Until her hysteria had cut through his voracious lust, and
he’d reigned himself in.  It was physically painful, but he’d done it.  The overwrought
catch in her voice had penetrated his burning need to bury himself inside her,
and he had stopped.  He had held her as she cried.  He had instantly become her
protector again. 

He wanted her. 
Sweet Jesus, he wanted her.
  But he
had realized in that very moment that he wanted her whole even more.

He’d not lied when he’d told her he’d been there.  Thoughts
of Kim still sometimes haunted him, still invaded his dreams.  Her beauty, her
laughter, her soft touch.  The jagged wound she had left.  At one time, she had
been the center of his world.  It was all laying there before him—a wife, a
family, a future.  But it was nothing but a foolish dream.  An act by a skilled
actress.

Devin shifted in her sleep, and a frown marred her soft,
placid expression.  Ronin brushed his fingers across the curve of her jaw.  “Shhh,
 sleep, baby,” he whispered. 

“Jake,” she murmured. 

His heart twisted a little for her.  It twisted a little for
himself as well. 
What would it be like to be loved that much?
  He
nuzzled the softness of her hair, smelling the fresh, crisp scent which mingled
slightly with a faint whiff of the passion that had surged in them a short time
ago.  “It will all be okay, honey,” he promised with a whisper, wishing he
believed it.  “Just sleep.”

Oh yeah, this girl could really get to him…

Her head was throbbing.  Her throat felt like it was going
to crack.  Devin opened one eye, then the other. 
Where the fuck was she?

She closed her eyes to think back, otherwise remaining
motionless. 

Ronin. 
She remembered leaning against Ronin out in
the kitchen.  She remembered studying the plaid pattern of his shirt.  Her eyes
popped opened again and she lifted an arm. 
Ronin’s shirt.  She was wearing
Ronin’s shirt.
  Flashbacks of the night before began to permeate her
brain.  Kissing Ronin.  The feel and smell and
taste
of his bare chest. 
A ripple of heat coursed through her as she remembered nibbling at his collar
bone and the way he groaned and gripped her in response.  His hands on her skin
as he undressed her. 
God, she’d been naked!  Completely bare-ass naked!
 
His lips devouring her as he undressed himself.  And the moment—the moment she
stopped it. 

Oh sweet Jesus.

She felt like a trampy lush. 

She looked around the room for her clothes, and saw her
dress hanging from a hook by the door.  She gingerly climbed from Ronin’s bed
and slid it up her body underneath Ronin’s shirt.  God only knows where her bra
was, but, even with the right undergarments, the tight little dress had two
things against it—there was a definite chill in the early morning air, and it
showed way more skin than she felt comfortable revealing in the light of day,
especially with the way she acted to Ronin last night.  The shirt was a major
help on both those points since the flannel was soft and warm against her skin. 
Even better, the shirt practically came to her knees, covering the skimpy
little number underneath.  Devin took a fortifying breath, grabbed her heeled
peep-toe shoes, and prepared herself for her walk of shame. 

Peeking through the open door, she quietly stepped out of
Ronin’s room in her bare feet.  Ronin stood leaning against the kitchen
counter, a mug of coffee in his hand.   He wore soft sleep pants and a gray
T-shirt that stretched across his chest. 
His chest…
 

“Hi,” he said softly. 

“Hi,” Devin replied, immediately dropping her eyes to intently
contemplate the pattern of the tile floor, shy and more than a little ashamed
of her slutty behavior the night before. 

“Feeling okay?” Ronin asked as he took another sip. 

“Not too bad, I guess.  Thirsty, though.”  Devin said
softly, her eyes wandering around the mess from the night before.  More than
anything, she was
not
looking at Ronin.  “Jeez,” she murmured, “your
house kinda got trashed, Ronin.”

Ronin chuckled.  “Usually does.”  He opened the fridge with
his free hand and grabbed Devin a bottle of PowerAde, pushing the door closed
again with his elbow.  He set his coffee down to open the plastic bottle which
he handed to her.  Picking up his coffee again, he took another sip.

“I take it your landlord is rather lenient when it comes to
the parties, huh?” she asked.

“I own the place, honey.  Was left to me by my gramma.”

Devin took a long drink, feeling an enormous sense of relief
as the cool, sweet liquid soothed her parched throat.  She took a few more
sips, again avoiding his gaze and looking all around the messy room.  Yet, she
could feel his eyes on her.  She could sense the half smile on his face.  He
knew exactly what she was doing.  The whole thing… the not looking at him.  The
not really saying anything significant. 

Devin’s discomfort grew as time seemed to stop.  Ronin stood
there, leaning against the counter, slowly taking sips of his coffee, smiling
at her over his mug.  But not talking.  And the lack of talking, especially
after what had happened last night, was absolutely killing her.  Devin needed something
to do to occupy her mind, or at the very least, her hands.  “Do you have a garbage
bag?  I’ll help you clean up.”

“Dev?”

Her gaze flittered up to his before she even realized it,
and she found herself trapped by the gentleness and understanding in his hazel eyes. 

“It’s okay,”

Devin bit her lip and quickly looked away again, knowing he
wasn’t talking about her offer to help.

She looked back up at him, and smiled timidly. “Just give me
a fuckin’ bag, Ronin.”   

The corners of Ronin’s mouth rose in an amused smirk.  “Under
the sink, babe,” he chuckled lightly.

Dammit!  
Devin thought
to herself. 
Dammit dammit dammit.  ARGH!  DAMMIT!!!!

Devin turned the key again and only heard the telltale
tic-tic-tic of a dead battery.  She had promised Joanie and Amy that she’d
supply the liquor, and, as an eighteen-year-old who wasn’t legal to buy, that
meant she’d get the buyer.  Amy generally got her brother Shane to buy, but he had
driven to a nearby town for a booty call.  So, the girls all figured Ronin was
her best bet.  He lived fairly close to her, and he might even invite a bunch
of people over for a full-fledged party. 

The only worry was that he might be out on a job.  She hadn’t
seen him in a few days, and, if Ronin was gone on a job, Joe would be too.  The
two of them and Shane pretty much consisted of her list of potential buyers. 
Normally, Ronin would be home to eat lunch about now, so long as they were
working in or near town. 

It was summer, though, and construction was in full-swing.  Ronin
had worked for a local builder since he graduated from high school, and had
become a rather skilled carpenter.  Over the years, his knowledge and skills
had increased to earn him the title of foreman.  A few years back, Joe and Shane
had joined his team.  They generally worked close to home, but, on occasion,
they had jobs a ways out in the mountains.  Rather than driving the rough and
tumble mountain roads back and forth every day, they would camp out there
during the week, returning to town, generally having a raucous party, on Friday. 
And today was Tuesday dammit!

Devin reached into her purse to grab her cell phone and
dialed his cell number.  It rang… and rang… and then…

“This is Ronin.  Leave a message.”

Dammit!
  She jabbed the end button harshly.  On the
brighter side, because it rang a few times and didn’t go directly to voicemail,
he probably was in cell range and not somewhere out in the sticks.  She rested
her head on the steering wheel, contemplating her next move.  Maybe Ronin was just
outside.  Or maybe he was even in between jobs and just taking a nap to be
fresh as a daisy for the night’s carousal.  His house was only about nine or
ten blocks away from hers, maybe a mile tops.  Honestly, she wasn’t sure what
she’d do if she couldn’t reach him.  Finding the buyer was kind of a big deal,
and Devin couldn’t really think of anyone else. 

She climbed out of her Volkswagen Jetta, slamming the door
as hard as she could in her frustration.  She loved her little car, but sort of
hated it at the moment.  A kick to the already dented fender helped her vent a
bit, and she huffed and groused for the mile or so to Ronin’s house. 

Thank God!
  His truck was there. 

Reenergized, she hopped up his front steps and knocked.  Nothing.
 Feeling a little disgruntled, she knocked again.  And nothing.  Once more, one
last time, she knocked.  Okay, she pounded.  Beat the ever-loving hell out of
the door.

“Just a sec,” she heard Ronin call faintly. 

Yay! 
The door swung open and…
Ooooohhhhh!

Standing a step or two down from Ronin, her eyes first hit
the small white towel wrapped around his waist.  The faint scent of masculine
soap enveloped her senses as her eyes traveled down to his bare feet, and back
up. 
Yep, that’s really only just a little white towel. 
With an embarrassingly
audible gulping sound, her vision slowly traveled up
to his bare chest. 
It was mouthwatering… broad with a light dusting of hair over his pectorals.  Firm
and solid, lightly tanned muscles of a physical, hard-working man.  A little
higher and she saw the reason for his undressed state.  Shaving cream spread
across the lower half of his face.  Somehow, the shaving cream made his hazel
eyes appear to glow, and her fingers tingled with the desire to smooth the
white foamy layer along his strong jaw.  

“Um, sweetheart?  Did you need something?” Ronin asked, a
slight grin appearing beneath the soapy layer.

“I… um… car ticking… and… not starting…” she stuttered,
unable to form a single coherent thought. 

Ronin wasn’t helping, either, just standing there with a
half-smile and waiting for her to spit out something… anything.  Finally, she
just had to forcefully rip her eyes away. 
Focus on the truck.  You need liquor,
and he can go get it in his truck.

“Could I, um… Amy, Joanie, and I need some booze.  Would, um,
would you be willing to run to the liquor store for me?”  She could barely look
at the guy, and her voice practically squeaked when she talked. 
What the
hell was wrong with her?

Ronin seemed to enjoy her discomfort, his eyes narrowing a
bit.  He folded his arms across his chest and leaned up against the doorframe
totally relaxed with his near nudity.  As he crossed one foot in front of the
other, the motion pulled slightly at the bottom of the towel to reveal an
upside-down V of skin which drew her eyes back to the scant covering.  Devin realized
her jaw was hanging open, and she snapped it closed, glancing up to see his
smile had broadened. 
Damn.

After what seemed like forever, Ronin finally had a little
pity for her flustered state.  “Just a sec, honey.  Let me finish up, and I’d love
to get you whatever you need.  Come on in.”

He stepped back a foot or so, and she slipped past him,
quickly becoming very interested in the details of Ronin’s ceiling, Ronin’s
walls, Ronin’s floor.  Anything to
not
look at Ronin himself.  “Make
yourself comfortable,” he chuckled as he strolled, towel and all, down the
hallway. 

Until that moment, she didn’t realize she was practically
holding her breath.  Exhaling seemed to pull her spine right out of her back as
she slid down the wall, sitting on the floor and gasping for breath.  On her
way down, she dropped her purse, and the contents scattered across the hardwood. 
For a moment, Devin could barely function. 

Holy smokes! 

It had been dark in his room the other night, so she’d felt
more than she’d seen.  And she’d been sloppy drunk on top of that.
 
Ohmygod!  Who knew Ronin had such a nice fuckin’ body? 
Thinking about
baseball was supposed to help.
 
She’d heard it a million times. 
Baseball. 
Think about baseball. 
Devin mentally repeated the mantra as she began
scooping the lip glosses, sunglasses, ibuprofen—condoms, which she scooped up really,
really
quickly. 

Baseball… baseball…

Unfortunately, not knowing shit about baseball, it didn’t
really do much good to remove the image of Ronin’s strong, bare, broad chest
from her mind.  It did nothing to erase the well-defined ridges of his torso or
the little white towel wrapped low around his hips.  The light aroma of shaving
cream lingering in the air made forgetting veritably impossible.

Devin touched her fingers to her cheeks, feeling the flush
on them as she tried to catch her breath and calm her racing heart.  If Joanie
could see her now, she’d never let Devin hear the end of it. 
Joanie… Argh,
dammit!
  Joanie and Amy would be at her house soon, and this whole
booze-buying thing was taking way longer than she had anticipated. 
Text… send
them a text.
  She looked through her purse for her phone. 
Fuck!  Where
was her phone?
  Crawling around on her hands and knees, she scanned the
room. 

At that moment, Ronin stepped back into the living room, clothed,
thank God.  Well, mostly.  Kneeling on the floor before him, Devin watched him fascinated
as he fastened the buttons of his plaid flannel shirt, thankfully covering that
fucking beautiful
chest.  He left the top two buttons at his neck open. 
Frozen, she stared as his hands slipped down to tuck the shirt into his jeans
before he fastened the fly and buckled his belt.  Her fingers itched as she
imagined the warmth and hardness of his hips, the deep contour of muscle low on
his stomach.  

Ooooohhhhh!

Realizing where her thoughts were headed, her gaze lifted to
see him smirking at her knowingly.  The silence in the room became painful as
her cheeks flushed, and Devin began to gnaw on her lower lip. 

“Ready, honey?” Ronin asked, still grinning. 

“Um… I, um…” Devin cleared her throat and tried again.  “I
dropped my purse and… stuff scattered.  My phone.  Can’t find my phone.”

Ronin’s smile grew.  “Dropped your purse?”

“Yeah.  I think I’ve got most everything, but my iPhone is, um…
I can’t find it now.”

“You sure you had it?”

Devin thought for a minute, contemplating this as she chewed
on her lip. 
Had she left it in her Jetta?
 “Honestly, I’m not sure.”  Still
reeling from the embarrassment at being caught totally staring at him, she
studiously ignored him and continued to search for her phone, shuffling the items
around in her purse. 

Ronin raised his brow, and pulled his own iPhone out of his
shirt pocket.  “Awe, look, Devin called.”  He smiled as he touched the screen a
few times.  “Okay, listen.  It should be ringing.”

“Well, actually,” Devin said sheepishly, “it probably would
be if the ringer was turned up.  I always turn it way down to nothing at work
and then forget to change it back after.  You could be standing with it in your
pocket and not hear it.”  

“You should still be able to hear it vibrate.”

“Um, I don’t have it set to vibrate.  This is my second
iPhone.  The first was sitting on my sink while I was brushing my teeth once,
and it vibrated right into the water.  Killed the damn thing.”

 “Why do you even have a phone if you never answer it?” Ronin
crooked a smile at her timorous expression.

“I listen to music with it.  I, um… text,” Devin nervously
stammered.  “I take pictures.  Stuff like that.  I actually rarely use it as a phone. 
But, I lose it all the time.  So, I ended up downloading the ‘Find My iPhone’
app on my laptop, and I’ll bet I use it once or twice a week.  I’ve lost it in
my couch, under my bed, behind my washing machine, in the fridge.  God, once it
fell in between the boards on my back porch, even.  I had to crawl through all
kinds of nasty spider webs to get it.”  Devin realized she was rambling and
quickly closed her mouth.

Ronin fiddled with his phone for a minute or two.  Once
again, the nerve-wracking silence caused butterflies to swirl in Devin’s
stomach.  “What’s your Apple ID and password, honey?” Ronin finally asked, not
eyes still on his phone. 

“DevinM, and the ‘D’ and ‘M’ are capitalized.  The password
is, uh… RainbowConnection.  And then 69,” Devin replied self-consciously.  “Capitals
for the ‘R’ and the ‘C.’”

Ronin looked at her for a second, a little heat mixed with
the amusement in his eyes.  “69?” he asked.  Devin’s cheeks flared scarlet as
she nodded.  “And rainbow connection?  Like, as in, Kermit and the Muppets and
all that shit?” he laughed.

Devin pursed her lips tartly and narrowed her eyes defiantly.
 “Don’t judge me.  Besides, I love Kermit.  I love that song.”

Ronin chuckled a few more times as he swiped across the
screen.  A few minutes later, a beeping resonated from under his couch.  The
couch sat on very short legs, with barely an inch or so between the frame and
the floor, so Ronin walked over to it and lifted one end to allow Devin to reach
under it and grab her phone.

“Thanks,” Devin muttered. 

“Turn up your ringer, baby.” Ronin smiled. 

Devin nodded and stood before turning to make a beeline,
completely mortified, out the door to Ronin’s pickup.  If she hadn’t needed a
drink before, she really needed a drink now.

 “I’m not even sure I want to know what you are making. 
Cream soda, lemon juice, strawberries.  And, what the fuck is Red Velvet ZING?”

Ronin pulled the ingredients out of the paper bag and set
them on her kitchen counter. 

Devin giggled as she grabbed the strawberries to rinse them
in the sink.  “It’s a kind of vodka.  I’m making a drink recipe I found in
Cosmo.  It’s called Red Velvet Shortcake.”  

“Oh sweet jeez,” Ronin chuckled as he removed the cream soda
from the plastic six-pack rings and placed them in the fridge.

“You need to cut that up,” Devin said over her shoulder.

“Um, what?” Ronin asked.

Devin set the strawberries down to drain and walked over to
him, taking the plastic thingy away from him.  She held it up and waved it in
his face.  “I hate these things.  There’s got to be a better way to hold
together a six-pack of pop than to have all these plastic loops that can hurt
birds.”  She reached around him in the small space to grab a pair of scissors
from the container by her phone, trying to ignore the tingling sensation that
erupted as her breast brushed against his forearm.  Moving quickly away again,
she started cutting the circles into pieces. 

Ronin laughed.  “You fuckin’ hippie.”  His hand held his stomach
as he tried to stem his obvious amusement.