Little Death by the Sea (10 page)

She was an artist and she saw the world
differently. Finally, she was living in a world that understood her
vision, encouraged and inspired her brilliance. And Gerard
applauded louder than anyone. Gerard with the milky-white skin, the
doe-brown eyes that spoke love even in the throes of a
crack-induced half-coma, even when he was hurting her. Because that
was a part of her new society too. To be truly wretched, to be
honestly and completely in despair was a feeling of pleasure to
Elise that she found nearly unbearable. And she sought this drug,
the singular intensity of this high more earnestly than any other.
And Gerard, beautiful, sensitive, loving Gerard was the only pusher
in town for this particular brand of agony.

She used to believe, long after she stopped
painting and all her brushes and canvasses and oils were gone, that
if she had never gone to Paris, never met Gerard, she would simply
have walked through her life in America, in Atlanta, like some
servomechanism or automaton going through the motions of eating,
and painting and loving and dreaming...with some essential core
inside her faulty or nonoperable. When she thought of how closely
she’d come to living a bored life, a pedestrian life of
appointments and movie dates and Sunday dinners, she trembled.

3

“I’m sorry about Mom and Dad.” Elise picked
at the cheese sandwich Maggie had placed before her on the coffee
table. They’d switched from coffee to decaf, although it was pretty
clear nobody was going to be sleeping that night. “I think I
thought I was doing them a favor by dropping out. I had this idea
that now they could just mourn me and put me out of their lives.”
She made a gesture in the air of wrapping up a box. “All the
embarrassing questions and stuff, just tidy it up, cry some, and
make it go away. Did they not do that?”

Maggie looked at her and licked her lips.
They fell apart, Elise. Your little experiment in
pain-management for other people just about killed Mother
.

“You don’t remember them very well, I guess,”
Maggie said.

“Ahh, that must be it. Very good sandwich,
little sister. I don’t usually have much of an appetite. Perhaps
you’ll change me all around....”

Maggie shook her head.

“I loved you,” she said, letting the tears
come. “I was glad you went to Paris but I always thought you’d come
back.”

“I know, darling. But coming back wasn’t good
for me.”

“And this is? What you are now is
better?”

“What am I now? Maggie, it’s not better for
you, I know, or Mother...”

“Or Nicole! Ask her how much better it was
for her when she was going through withdrawal and couldn’t even
...or now! Ask her now, Elise. The kid’s a basket case. You know
she doesn’t even speak? Won’t even talk?”

“She doesn’t speak English, I’m afraid,
darling.”

"She doesn’t speak
anything
, Elise.
Not English, not French, not baby-talk.”

“I don’t believe it. Nicole is a normal
child—“

“Normal? She was born a dope addict!”

“She’s not addicted now, Maggie. That was
years ago. She’s a normal little girl now. She talks as much
as—“

Maggie leaned forward toward her sister.
“Elise, I know you love Nicole. But Nicole is not normal. You’ll
see for yourself soon. I guess, now that you’re back, things can
start to be better for her.”

Elise didn’t answer, her Mona Lisa smile
firmly back in place.

“Will we ever understand each other, will we,
Elise?”

“I don’t think so, darling. Is it
important?”

Maggie cleared away the sandwich dishes and
coffee mugs, and carried them into the kitchen on a tray. She
caught a glimpse of herself in the hall mirror as she returned to
the living room and was surprised to see how fresh and relaxed she
looked. She didn’t feel that way at all.

“What do you want to do now, Elise?” Maggie
sank down on the couch next to her. She carefully picked up her
sister’s hand and held it.

“I want, darling, to get myself in order. I
want my baby back. I want to see Mother again...and Dad, and hold
them and not think that I caused them the misery I know I did.” Her
eyes looked clear and focused, and within seconds the two sisters
were in each other’s arms.

“I can’t believe you’re back, I missed you so
much.” Maggie put her arms around Elise, smelling the musty
rankness of her.

“I know,
mon chou
, I know, me too.”
Elise held her tightly, caressing her hair. They sat that way and
rocked for a few minutes before Maggie pulled back slightly.

“Shall I call Mother and Dad?”

Elise shook her head.

“Why don’t I get myself cleaned up first?”
She gestured to her clothes. “I want to present myself to them, you
know? Do you understand? Not like this?”

Maggie nodded.

“And Maggie, darling, I’ll need to score some
stuff, sweetheart. I’ll need you to help with that.” Then, seeing
the expression on Maggie’s face, “Just enough to get through seeing
them again, after that, I’m kicking it, okay? I promise. But I
can’t see them while I’m going through withdrawal, right? I don’t
want them to see me like this, Maggie, do you understand?”

Maggie didn’t answer.

“I have some for a little bit but I’ll need
more soon.”

Maggie couldn’t imagine where Elise had her
little stash. She hadn’t come dumped with a purse or valise or
anything. She felt strange knowing there were illegal drugs
somewhere in her natty little flat.

“Let’s worry about it later,” Maggie said.
“You know I’ll help.”

“Good, thank you, Maggie. And we’ll all of us
be ready and fit to make work our brave new world.” She smiled
sweetly at her.

“Nicole will be so happy to see you.”

“I expect she’s pretty changed since I saw
her last. It’s been nearly a year, you know.”

“Mother’s been working with her.”

“I can’t imagine a better person to be
mothering her. Meanwhile, I’m exhausted.” She rubbed her scraped
elbow from Gerard’s dumping and laughed lightly. “Body-worn,
jet-lagged and ready to sleep. Are you going to work tomorrow?”

Maggie nodded.

“Will you be ready to see Mother and Dad by
this weekend, do you think?” Maggie asked.

“That should be fine.” Elise yawned and stood
up from the couch. “You really don’t have to give up your bed to
me, little sister. The couch would be fine. God knows, I’ve slept
on worst.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Maggie said, as she
stood up, brushing her lightly trembling hands against her jeans.
“I’ll get an extra blanket for you.” Elise shuffled across the
floor to the bedroom door and then turned.

“Find me something decent to wear tomorrow
and I’ll get my hair hacked off or something...”

“Combed?”

Elise laughed.

“It’s a thought, anyway. “

“I’ll pick up a dress or something tomorrow
at the mall, how’s that?”

Elise closed her eyes briefly and smiled.

“That’s wonderful, Maggie. Just perfect.”

Maggie snapped off the living room lamp and
went to the hall closet for extra blankets.

“Oh, Maggie?”

“Yes, Elise?”

“See if you could find something with some
color to it, would you? Maybe a pretty pink or something?”

“Sure, Elise.” Maggie stood in the darkness
for a moment, her arms still poised over her head, her hands
resting on the closet’s top shelf. She heard the gentle click of
the bedroom door as it shut.

Chapter 7

1

The headline lay bleakly across the front
page: Intruder Robs and Rapes 2
^nd
Victim. Dierdre
smoothed the page flat with her hands. When are they going to get
this guy, she wondered? She moved her mug of decaffeinated coffee
closer to her and started to read the body copy.

“Maggie in yet?”

She looked up quickly, and nodded to Gerry as
he was coming in the front door. “Are you on the front desk today?”
he asked. “Where’s Jenny?”

“Sick, I guess.” Dierdre shrugged and managed
a smile for Gerry’s scowl.

“Again?” He snapped his own daily paper
against his thigh. “What’s the deal here? She’s always sick. What’s
the point of having a receptionist if she’s never here to receive?
Oh, never mind.” He turned on his heel and stomped into the
recesses of the office, presumably to wind his way down the
corridor to the kitchen where Dierdre had a pot of coffee perking
away.

She looked back down at the newspaper
article. “An unidentified young woman at the Claymore Apartments
was awakened in the middle of the night by an intruder who told her
to put a pillowcase over her head...”

“Hey, Dierds, is Gerry in yet?”

Maggie leaned over the receptionist’s desk to
sign the agency attendance sheet.

Dierdre nodded, “Uh huh, just got here,
he—“

“Where’s Jenny? Man, that girl is hopeless.
What is it this time?”

“I don’t know. Just sick.”

“Gerry is in, did you say?” Maggie hurried
down the corridor not waiting for a reply.

Dierdre sighed and straightened the paper
back out. “...after which she was sexually assaulted by the man,
said to be in his early thirties. Detective Lieutenant John Burton
revealed to the press that the woman was made to...”

The phone rang and Dierdre gave another sigh,
pushed the paper away and picked up the receiver before it could
ring twice.

“Selby & Parkers, good morning,” she
said, wondering if this day was going to be as long as it felt.

“Have I got news for you.”

“I hate it when people tell me that. Don’t
tell me that.”

Maggie pulled a chair up to Gerry’s desk, and
settled her briefcase on the floor.

“Guess what.”

“I don’t like guessing. Just tell me.”

“Elise is back.”

“What are you talking about? Your sister?
What do you mean ‘back’?”

“I mean, she’s here. In my apartment. Gerry,
she came back!”

“Maggie, that’s wonderful!” Gerry stood up
and squeezed her by the arms. “But how? How is she—“

“It’s a long story. She was trying to protect
my parents by dropping out, I guess because some of the things she
was involved in at the time. She thought it was for the best. Can
you believe it?”

Gerry shook his head slowly.

“Sort of unusual, isn’t it?” he asked.

“She had her reasons. But now she’s back and
she wants to get back with the family and raise Nicole, and you
know...integrate.”

Maggie looked so happy, so beamingly,
foolishly happy that Gerry could only sit and smile woodenly at
her.

“Man, that’s great, Maggie. Your parents
must’ve flipped.”

“I haven’t told them yet.”

“You haven’t?”

“Gerry, she looks like hell right now. She
looks like a junkie, okay?”

“Sure, Maggie. It’s just that, I don’t know,
your parents thinking she’s still vanished off the face of the
earth when she’s sitting in your apartment drinking Perrier and
making tuna salad sandwiches...it just feels wrong to me.”

“It’s just till the weekend. I’ll call ‘em on
Friday and tell them the news and then Elise and I’ll both go over
on Saturday. If I were to call them now, they’d be over at my place
and, I don’t know, Elise can be sort of funny. I want things to go
as well as they possibly can.”

“Look, I’m sure you know what you’re doing.
That’s great news that she’s back. Just terrific. How is she at
answering phones? We need a new receptionist.” Gerry began
shuffling through the papers on his desk.

“Gerry, will you stop thinking of yourself
for just five minutes? I’m not finished here. I also met the famous
Gerard last night.”

“You’re kidding.”

“That’s how I got Elise. Gerard called and
demanded five thousand dollars or else he’d cause trouble with
Nicole—“

“He called to blackmail you?” Gerry was
incredulous.

“Well, I guess he did blackmail me, because I
got a hold of my Dad and he scraped up the money—“

“You paid some scum-ball blackmail
money?”

“Gerry, he was going to cause a stink about
Nicole. I brought her into the country illegally, you know.”

“You did?” Gerry stared at Maggie as if
seeing her for the first time.

“I told you all this!”

“You most certainly did not.”

“Well, that confirms that you don’t listen to
me. Do you want to hear about Gerard, or not?”

“Speak.”

“So, I handed over the money to him—“

“When?”

“Last night, Gerry. All this happened last
night.”

“Late last night?”

“Latish, I guess, around midnight in the
parking lot at Lenox Square.”

“I cannot believe you were running around
last night...I won’t even let Darla take the garbage out because of
all the crime in this town and we live twenty miles away in
Marietta!” He tossed a newspaper in her lap. “Read any headline!
Read the funny pages! Nothing but murder and rape.”

Maggie scanned the headline.

“You make Darla take out the garbage?”

The media director, Patti Stump, stuck her
head in Gerry’s office doorway and smiled at him.

“Are we meeting on Hi-Jinks, Gerry? I’ve got
some time this morning.”

Gerry ran a hand through his hair in
exasperation.

“Oh, God, I don’t know. I don’t really want
to.”

“But we need to.”

“I know, I know. Okay, five minutes in the
conference room. Maggie, you need to be a part of this too. That
is, if you’re not busy committing any felonies between now and
then.”

“What is your problem, Gerry?”

“My problem, Maggie, my problem is...” He
looked at Patti, still hovering in the doorway and smiled easily at
her. “Why don’t you go on ahead, Patti, and we’ll be right there.”
She shrugged and left. “My problem is that I worry about you and
you don’t have the sense God gave lettuce.”