Little Secrets (4 page)

Charley found it difficult not to worry, but he admitted to himself that it would give her a chance to wed a husband. "Would she live at your school?" It was much too far for her to travel daily by train.

"Yes. The fee for her studies, including room and board, is eight guineas. For both girls, I can make it fourteen guineas."

"What length of time is necessary for my sister to attend your finishing school?" Charley could possibly pay the finances for a year, but if he spent much more than that, he would have trouble when it came to providing a bountiful dowry.

Philip walked back around to his desk, taking a seat. "We offer a one-year curriculum which focuses on French, hosting guests, dancing, and the final class is music and theater. I am sure you will find her studies well-rounded. Did she have a governess in your home?" he asked.

It had been several years since Leona had studied French. The governess had been dismissed when their father died. His sister had been twelve years old. Charley had felt she had had enough education and hoped to marry her off when she was sixteen. He had taken an apprentice job at the newspaper and Leona had spent her days sewing, cooking, and cleaning the house. Charley did not mind her company, and perhaps that had been in part why he had delayed her attendance into a finishing school, in addition to the cost.

Having saved every penny earned after paying for food and rent, Charley could enroll her for a single year at the Ashby. "Tell me, Headmaster Philip, for how long do you expect Miss Eliza to continue her education at your school?"

"At least two more years. Is that a problem for you?"

Charley knew meeting the payments would be difficult, but he lived in his childhood home with minimal outgoings each year. He could make it work, if this was what he wanted. "May I meet with Miss Eliza before agreeing to become her betrothed?"

Philip smiled. "As much as I would like to offer you such an opportunity, unfortunately, the interaction between a papa and a little will happen only after a contract is signed. I would be happy to give you a tour of the playroom so that you might watch little Eliza playing with her friends. I know it is most uncommon what we do at Ashby, Mr. Lockwood, but I can assure you that Eliza is a wonderful young woman who has found the inner child within her. She would be pleased to make your acquaintance and accept your hand in marriage."

Charley did want to see Eliza again. "May we take a walk now?" He pointed toward the door.

"Yes. Come, let's see what the littles are up to at this hour." Philip stood and Charley did the same, following the headmaster out of his office.

Shutting the door on his way out of Headmaster Philip's office, he approached the window where he had caught an earlier glimpse of Eliza in the beautiful blue gown. As his eyes landed upon her, seeing her dress the color of summer skies, he felt a smile tugging at his lips and his heart speed up. He had not quite understood the sensation he had felt earlier, the attraction at the way she was dressed, but now that it had been explained and made sense, she did look younger, untroubled, and happier.

Eliza grabbed her doll and ran out of the room. "Mr. Charley Lockwood," she said, having remembered his name. "What are you doing here?"

"Little Eliza, you are not to be running out of the playroom without Nanny Agnes," Headmaster Philip chastised as Agnes trailed after Eliza, coming out into the hall.

"Nanny Agnes, this is the gentleman I was telling you about," Eliza said.

Charley could not help but smile. She had talked about him? He had not thought he'd made a very good first impression, but apparently she had not forgotten entirely about him after all. The fact she had run out to see him made his heart swell. "How are you doing, Miss Eliza? Are you happier? No more tears?" He had not wanted to bring up their encounter, but he did not know what else to say to the young woman.

"I must excuse myself for a moment," Headmaster Philip said, shaking his head, seeming quite displeased. It was not as though Charley had spoken with her first. She had run out into the hall to greet him.

"Little Eliza, you are to come back to the playroom and not bother this fine gentleman." The older woman held out her hand.

Eliza's green eyes sparkled as she smiled. "I am sorry, but I have to go. I hope you will visit again, Mr. Lockwood."

"I would be delighted to, little Eliza," he said, trying the words out on his tongue. He had never harbored quite such a fantasy before but seeing the smile and eagerness to please him, Charley knew without a doubt he had done the right thing. "From now on, you will call me 'Papa.'"

Her eyes widened and the smile grew upon her face before she clutched her nanny's hand and skipped back into the playroom.

Nanny Agnes shut the door behind them and pointed at the other young women, probably instructing Eliza to go back to playing and ignore him.

Charley found it difficult to hide the swell in his chest or bulge in his trousers. Eliza stirred a desire inside of him he had not known existed. Such a school of littles sounded scandalous but was it as bad as it seemed? Part of him felt conflicted as he considered whether to write about the chateau or not. Was it as shameful as he first believed it to be, based on her dress? His eyes scoured the playroom and he caught sight of all the young women as littles, dressed in short skirts with stockings all the way up past the hems of their dresses.

He did not want to ruin the perfect opportunity to visit Eliza again, while doing a bit of research on his own. His boss, James, at the Daily Times had been insistent on finding the story, not just telling the news. Charley had not known what it meant until he set eyes upon Eliza. What was her story? Would she allow him to tell it? Charley had been unable to let it go, desiring answers, and to spend more time with the young woman who was to call him papa.

Stepping further from the door and back down toward the headmaster's office, he waited outside until Philip returned. "I would like to sign the papers to enroll my sister into Ashby. I would also like to further discuss the matter of Miss Eliza."

"Her father will be here soon. I will need to speak with him, but if you would like to come back on Monday with your sister, I can have the papers ready for you to sign. Just be sure to bring a check for the amount due for both tuitions. Let me walk you out."

Charley did not feel ready to leave, but he also did not wish to overstay his welcome. The last thing he wanted was to meet Eliza's father, especially right now. He was still getting his head wrapped around the littles' school and what it all meant. "Of course," he said, glancing one last time at little Eliza in the playroom before he headed down to the first floor, through the front door and across the lawn for the main gate. He had gotten the answers he was searching for, but he was not sure what to make of them. No doubt he would be back on Monday. He wanted to see Eliza again soon.

Was he really going to be her papa? Eliza had difficulty containing her excitement as the weekend crawled by. She did not want to get overly eager only to feel disappointment when he did not come to visit her. Headmaster Philip had yet to inform her about the new marriage arrangement. Would he give her the news any time soon? She had felt a bit disappointed at not having had the opportunity to speak with her father when he had visited. Eliza had caught a glimpse of him in his waistcoat, stalking down the hall, a frown crossing his features. Nanny Agnes had unfortunately kept her from leaving the room and running after him. In truth, her father was not a man who would have cared for any dramatics or affection anyway. He never gave more than a passing glance on occasion, and Eliza really could not recall any real signs of love or tenderness being given by the man. Such things were not the ways of her father, and she had long ago accepted that.

It had been three days since she had laid eyes on Mr. Lockwood, the man who had said she was to call him papa. The butterflies had not ceased, and though she was constantly asking her nanny about Mr. Lockwood, the older woman seemed not to know anything.

Eliza did not want to be wrong. He would come back for her, wouldn't he? When he did, she needed to charm him and show her new papa that she was worth his time and devotion to her. Eliza may have been dressed as a little one, but she had not forgotten the responsibilities of an adult. Charley likely had a job that kept him away from the chateau. She had chalked that very reason up to why Preston had not come to visit her more often.

From within the nursery, she dipped her brush in the blue paint and smacked the canvas with the medium, making a mess as her attention was trained on the window.

"Little Eliza, what in heavens are you looking for?" Nanny Agnes asked.

Apparently, even with Eliza's plethora of questions, it had not fazed the older woman that she was waiting to catch sight of Charley Lockwood. Eliza felt as though she might wait forever. When would she see him again? It seemed papas usually paid their little ones a visit on the weekends, but he had not yet come.

Maybe it was foolish of her to let her mind wander, thinking about a man she had no ties to. Her thoughts were best kept secret, if she did not want to be forced into the care of Doctor Colt.

Eliza wore a cloth overcoat to keep the paint from touching her dress. She dipped the brush again in the bright blue cup of paint before striking the paper. Blue dripped down onto her shoes and then the floor, from the brush. She paid no attention to the mess she was making.

Headmaster Philip headed out the door and presumably down the steps. Was he meeting with Mr. Lockwood? She continued to quietly paint, her eyes trained on the window to the left of the nannies, their backs to the commotion behind them.

Eliza found it difficult to stand still, her attention hardly on the canvas. She waited, holding her breath, as the door across the hall opened. Would it be her new papa? Chewing anxiously on her bottom lip, she jumped up and down, squealing at the sight of Mr. Charley Lockwood.

Nanny Agnes raised an eyebrow at her charge. "Is everything all right with you, girl?"

"Yes, Nanny Agnes," Eliza said. She took several deep breaths, trying to calm her racing heart.

The other girls seemed oblivious to her outburst, or perhaps had chosen to ignore her.

"Psst!" she whispered, trying to get Clara's attention. Over the past several months, the young blonde had grown to become her best friend. They shared stories of both their previous lives before attending Ashby and of their discipline sessions, comparing notes as to which girl had the worst nanny. Clara had Nanny Beth, and by the stories and looks of the older woman, her friend won every time.

Clara glanced up, paintbrush poised in her hand.

"Clara, I need your help," Eliza said, leaning toward her friend's side, tugging on her arm to get her attention as she painted a scene outside of daisies in a meadow. The picture looked quite good, not that Eliza was ready to admit that to her friend. She probably would never live it down, considering her abstract blob of blue.

The blonde turned her head, glancing at Eliza. She kept her voice low, so only the littles could hear the discussion. "What do you need?"

"I may have a chance for a new papa." Eliza did not want to get her hopes up but it seemed to have already happened. Mr. Lockwood had returned, which could mean only one thing: he was there for little Eliza. "Tell me how to make him love me. Your papa visits you several times a week. I want that with my papa." She did not wish to admit how jealous she felt and hurt that Preston had enrolled her only to barely visit. It was as though he had sent her away to remove her from his life. Perhaps he had not thought she would agree to the circumstances of being little.

"If you want his attention, then you have to take it," Clara said. "Are you sure you are up for the challenge?"

Eliza nodded eagerly, unsure what the young woman had in mind.

"Take the rest of the paint and pour it on Nanny Agnes."

Had Clara lost her mind? "No." Eliza shook her head, eyes wide with fear. "I will get into trouble." She had caused her own fair share of issues over the past several months, but none had been intentional.

Clara smiled. "That's the point. You want him to see you bent over your nanny's knee. If that was him outside the door, imagine how uncomfortable he would feel in his trousers with your bottom exposed?"

Eliza's mouth dropped and a soft gasp escaped her lips. "You cannot be serious." She was to intentionally get spanked in order to get his attention? How was this a good plan to keep him around? "He will be mad and disappointed, Clara. Why would that make him stay? Would he not want a good little girl, not a misbehaving one?"

"You will show him that you can be disciplined and your behavior corrected. My papa, after a harsh discipline, always comforts me." The blonde smiled, glancing up at the window. "You will have your chance soon." She stood to the right of Eliza, getting a better look at the headmaster's office from her angle. "They went into Headmaster Philip's office, but I do not think they will take long."

Eliza assumed that the longer he spent with Headmaster Philip, the better her chances were of him sticking around and truly being her papa. He had not run from the knowledge of the littles' school. Why had he come to visit last week? Had it been in an effort to find a little for himself? She had not spoken very much to him, and yet her thoughts were constantly of him. What was wrong with her?

"If you wish to win his heart, it will take time, Eliza. Start with the paint, let him witness the worst side of you now and what Nanny Agnes will do to stop it."

Eliza did not particularly enjoy Nanny Agnes peppering her bottom with swats when she misbehaved. There had been no special comfort that Clara spoke of, though her papa had not been around, either. Preston had never witnessed her being put over the knee. "I do not know," Eliza said, a frown forming on her face. How was being naughty going to help? And she hated when Nanny Agnes spanked her. It was something she avoided if possible. Could she really get the courage to have her bottom spanked?

"You will have to make a decision fast, your papa is leaving the office and shaking Headmaster Philip's hand."

Maybe Clara was right. What harm could come from trying to win his attention? Eliza had been spanked before and though she was not a fan of such treatment, having his gaze set upon her would stir her heart.

"Hurry up!" Clara hissed. "He is heading down the hall."

Eliza grabbed the red paint that was still full to the brim and ran across the room, laughing nervously as she toppled the liquid on Nanny Agnes's dress. She would have preferred to dump the contents on her head but the woman sat too perfectly and had jumped up with wide eyes, almost as if she knew what was to come.

"Little Eliza Stead!" Nanny Agnes grabbed her charge by the waist, pulled her over her knee, and lifted Eliza's gown to reveal her bloomers. With one swift movement, her nanny had pulled the cotton down past her knees and smacked the porcelain skin of her bottom, forcing Eliza to jump.

She glanced up, only to see the two men heading out of the littles' hall and to the door that led to the exit. He was leaving?

"Papa?" Eliza cried out, not that she expected him to hear her, but her heart hurt all the same. Why had he instructed her to call him 'Papa' when he would not so much as visit her? Had he changed his mind? What was going on?

"Your Papa Preston is not coming back, little one." Nanny Agnes landed her rough calloused hand over Eliza's bottom. "I do not appreciate such unladylike behavior."

"I am a little, not a lady!" Eliza spat. She might have been nineteen, but if they insisted she act like a little, she was giving it to her nanny at full capacity. Where the hell had her former papa gone? Why was Charley gone now, too?

"You will learn to mind your manners." Nanny Agnes swatted her cheeks, splotching each side of her plush seat red.

"Owie!" Eliza shrieked. She kicked, her legs flailing as she tried to get away. Her hips turned but it did not afford her the opportunity of escape. Why had she thought to listen to Clara? Her friend was probably smiling right now at her punishment, watching Eliza get her bum spanked for being naughty. "I do not wish to be here without my papa." Even though she had been thinking of Charley the last few days, Preston would have sufficed at the moment. Anyone to make her feel loved and cherished; that this lifestyle of being a little was worth the sacrifice she made.

Smack. Smack. Smack.

Her nanny continued spanking her charge, ignoring what she said. Was she awaiting an apology? Eliza did not wish to give the older woman one. Yes, she had been naughty pouring paint on her nanny's dress, but she had done so because Charley was supposed to notice her, watch the discipline, and act upon it. Had she thought wrong?

She wiggled in an attempt to escape, but it did little good. Eliza could not break free from her nanny's strong grip. Why had she been foolish enough to listen to her friend? Clara was not the one with her bottom on display and getting disciplined!

"Put me down!" Eliza's nose scrunched with every spank, wincing from the sharp biting sting.

The door clicked from outside the hall, and her head turned up again, catching sight of Mr. Lockwood, the headmaster, and another woman who could not have been much older than her. Her stomach tensed and the tears burned her vision. Why had she been stupid enough to believe that he would desire her? Of course he had come to Ashby for and with his betrothed, just as Preston had brought her. The young woman had probably waited outside while he signed the papers, just as she had done many months ago.

"How is this fair?" Eliza said, referring to the brunette who had accompanied Charley into the littles' school.

"Perhaps we shall have you sit with Headmaster Philip and decide what is a fair punishment."

Nanny Agnes seemed to have no idea what Eliza was talking about. Tears fell from the young woman's eyes, and she watched as Mr. Lockwood glanced at her ever so briefly before escorting the woman beside him down the hall, his arm around her shoulders. It looked as though they might be getting a new little this afternoon. There was no way Eliza would be nice to the new girl.

"Please, no, Nanny Agnes. I am sorry." She did not want to find a cane being applied to her precious bottom. Her nanny's hand hurt, but it would leave no welts come tomorrow. The cane, however, would leave awful welts upon her skin.

Nanny Agnes continued to smack her charge's bottom, reddening every speck of once porcelain skin, making certain it would hurt where she sat. "I am not pleased, little Eliza." She hoisted the young woman back onto her feet. "Keep your dress above your waist, and go stand with your nose in the corner. You will learn not to disrespect your nanny again."

Wordlessly, little Eliza stalked to the corner of the playroom, pouting as she faced the corner, keeping her dress in her hands, bunched at her sides, to reveal her reddened bottom. Her cheeks burned with embarrassment at being on display so everyone could see the mistake she had made.

The door squeaked open and she did not have the courage to turn around to see who had entered the playroom. Perhaps Nanny Agnes had stepped out to change her dress? Eliza had made quite a mess on the gown. She was lucky this had been the worst of her punishment. Silently, she prayed not to see the young woman with brown hair who accompanied Charley into Ashby. Perhaps the girl would fear the establishment and what it meant, leaving him without his betrothed. It was a horrible thought to have and yet Eliza did not feel it was fair for him to have teased her, to tell her to call him 'Papa' when he had a love of his own.

She pouted and her eyes narrowed, glancing hastily over her shoulder to see Charley staring at her reddened bottom. The brunette was no longer at his side. Where had she gone? Was he waiting for her to join the other littles in the playroom? Eliza exhaled a heavy sigh, upset that she had no papa and the one man she thought might find his way into her heart had hurt her. She had acted on childish impulses, believing what he had said, feeling the first sparks of a crush that was not hers to have. Never again would she allow herself the pain of getting hurt, of feeling wanted, only to be pushed aside and cast out like rubbish. Preston had hurt her, and Charley… right now he seemed to be no better.