Little White Lies (10 page)

Her feet pounded against the wet sand, carrying her farther and farther away from the beach house.  The ocean spray dampened her clothes but she hardly noticed; she was too caught up in her own misery to notice anything except the tightening of her chest and the painful knot twisting inside her stomach.  She had to get out of here, as far away from Jack as possible, but the only way up to the highway was back the way she’d come.  Off to the right was the ocean, and to the left, a cliff of jagged rocks that certainly couldn’t be scaled in the thin sandals she was wearing.

Exhausted and short of breath, Miranda finally stopped running and dropped down onto her knees.  Burying her face in her hands, she let out a wail that was so pitiful it only deepened the ache in her heart. Because as much as she despised Jack for what he’d done, she understood what it meant. 

Only love could hurt this bad, only love could tear that kind of sound from her throat and make her wish the world would swallow her up whole.  She told herself she had to get up, that somehow she had to make it to the highway and find a phone.  She could call Bri and arrange to be picked up. And then…somehow, she would pull herself together and never, never let anyone know how stupid she’d been to care so much for Jack Devlin.

Hauling herself to her feet, Miranda angled towards the ragged cliff.  It wasn’t that high, maybe eighty feet or so, and the rocks were so uneven it wouldn’t be difficult to find hand and foot holds.  She might have convinced herself she could actually scale it if she hadn’t stopped at the bottom and tilted her head back.  With the sky as a backdrop, the climb looked insurmountable.  A wave of vertigo made her stumble backwards, tears of frustration streaking down her cheeks, and once again Miranda sank down into the sand.

She had to think.  Maybe he was still making arrangements for the trip and hadn’t noticed yet that she was gone.  If she could just rein in her emotions and stop crying, she might be able to make him believe she’d only gone for one last walk on the beach before they left.  Once they were on their way, she could tell him she was sick and wanted to go home.  She could even pretend she was sleeping during the drive back to Malibu to avoid having to talk to him.  It would work, she told herself. If only it didn’t hurt so badly.  If only she could stop the flow of tears.  And if she didn’t have to look at him, or talk to him, and somehow managed to keep him from touching her.

“Miranda, what are doing way out here?  Our flight…”  Jack’s heart clutched in his chest when her head snapped around then just as quickly turned away from him again.  Hurrying to her side he went down on his knees, his eyes scanning her body for injuries.  “Are you hurt?” 

He reached for hand but she yanked it away, and for a moment he was too stung by her reaction to say anything.  She’d been crying, that was evident, but she didn’t seem to have any wounds to indicate she’d fallen.  Not quite sure how to handle the situation, he sat down and tried to put his arm around her.

Miranda’s shoulder’s stiffened.  “Don’t,” she choked.  “I…I don’t feel well, Jack.  I think…I…I want to go home.”

His brow furrowed.  “I don’t understand.  You were fine not twenty minutes ago and now you’re trembling like a leaf and acting as if you can barely tolerate my touch.”

“I told you…”

“I know what you told me, but I’m not buying it.” 

In one smooth movement he leaned over, scooped her up, and deposited her on his lap.  She held herself rigid, but at least she wasn’t fighting him.  Jack cupped her chin and gently but firmly forced her head back.  The shattered look and tear stained face was almost more than he could bear.  He let his hand drop and crushed Miranda to his chest, pressing his cheek to hers.  If he had to look at her, he’d never be able to keep his own voice from shaking with emotion.

“Talk to me, honey.  What happened to upset you?”

Miranda squeezed her eyes shut, desperately trying to block out how comforting it was to be held like this.  “It’s my own fault,” she sniffed.  “I mean, it’s not as if you didn’t warn me.”

Jack kept her locked in his arms, totally clueless as to what she was talking about.  “I’m afraid I still don’t understand.”

“Please,” she drew in a shuddering breath, “I just want to go home.”

“We’re not going anywhere until you tell me what is going on.  Now, what exactly did I warn you about?”

“A…about us. About…not getting too close emotionally.  I’m sorry, Jack, I really am.”  She let her head drop onto his shoulder, her heart so heavy her entire body ached with it.  “I thought I could handle this, but I didn’t consider there would be other women, and I should have because you told me up front that it couldn’t be anything more than a physical relationship.  But I…I can’t do it, I just can’t.”

“Miranda…”

“I don’t blame you,” she interrupted.  “I’m the one who broke our agreement.  This past week with you has been incredible. I don’t regret a moment of it, but I can’t go to Vegas with you knowing it’s all going to end when we get back home.”

Jack drew his head back.  “What are you talking about?  What in the world made you think that?”

She lifted her eyes to his, fighting back the tears.  “Oh, Jack, I know I should be mature about it but I can’t do this.  Just the thought of you kissing another woman, making love to her…” Miranda’s voice caught in her throat.  Shaking it off, she set her chin determinedly.  “Maybe the other women you’re seeing can deal with the idea that you’re with them one day and someone else the next, but I can’t.  I won’t.  It hurts too much.”

Completely perplexed, he searched his mind for anything he could have said or done that would make her believe she was just one of many, but came up blank.  “Miranda, honey,” he said evenly, “what in the hell are you talking about?  I have no intention of ending it with you and I sure as hell wouldn’t risk what we have by sleeping with someone else.”

Her lips trembled, but she managed to keep her voice from shaking.  “I heard you…on the phone. I heard you tell that woman you missed her and would see her next week.”  She looked away from him.  “You told her you loved her.  How could you do that?  How could you say that to her when you’ve been sleeping with me?”

The mounting fear that she was going to leave him instantly dissipated.  His poor, sweet Miranda had totally misconstrued his phone conversation.  “Look at me,” he said softly.  When her eyes met his, he smiled.  “It wasn’t what you think.  I did say all those things but it wasn’t to a woman.”  Jack had to laugh at her startled expression.  “No, it wasn’t a man either.  Jennie is my goddaughter.  She’s Beth and Dave’s little girl.”

Miranda’s heart surged with hope.  “Your goddaughter?”

“Yes, sweetheart, and I love her to death.  I usually take Jennie and her brother, Brent, for a couple of hours on Saturdays, but I missed this week because I wanted to be with you.  She was pretty upset with me because I’d promised to take them horseback riding.”

“You’re not just making that up?”

“You can call her if you like.  All you have to do is push redial on my cell phone and…”

“No, I believe you.”  She let out a groan and buried her face in his neck.  “I’m so embarrassed for the way I behaved and ashamed for the awful things I was thinking.  Can you ever forgive me?”

Jack was so happy she wasn’t crying any more he would have forgiven her anything, but something else she’d said wormed its way into his head and he wasn’t quite ready to let her off the hook.  “Before I answer, I need to know something.  What did you mean when you said you broke our agreement?”

Her stomach knotted, but she wouldn’t lie, even if it meant losing him.  If it was going to end, it was better it happened now.  Mustering every ounce of courage she had, Miranda sat up right and met his steady gaze.  In spite of the rejection she was sure would follow, her heart raced when he offered a smile of encouragement.

“Jack, I…care a lot for you.”

He arched a brow.  “You
care
for me?”

“A lot,” she corrected.

“That’s it?  You run off, crying as if your heart has been broken because you think I’m making a date with another woman, and the best excuse you can offer is that you care – a lot?”

Her shoulders slumped.  He wanted her to say it.  He wanted to hear the words so he had a reason to break it off.  Her voice was hoarse and ragged when she spoke, but she held her head up high.  “I didn’t mean for it to happen, but it did.  The truth is I’m falling in love with you, Jack.  I know we agreed…”

The breath was stolen from her lungs when his mouth crashed down on hers.  His kiss was hard and hungry and she was helpless to resist it.  Not that she tried.  Miranda’s arms curled around his sides and pulled him closer, sheer and utter joy filling her heart when he eased her back onto the sand.  Gradually, the pressure of his lips softened and the ardent kisses were replaced with tender ones.  When he finally lifted his head, there was no reproof in his eyes.

“Do you have any idea what you do to me, Miranda Carrington?”  Propped on one elbow, Jack studied every detail of her face intently and wondered why he’d never noticed before just how breathtaking she was.  “Forget that stupid agreement, it voided itself the first time I made love to you.”  A hint of a smile tipped the corners of her mouth, bringing his focus back to her lips.  “There have been other women, but none of them ever made me feel the way you do.  I have to be honest, honey, it scares the hell out of me. But at the same time…I feel like hopping around like a complete idiot and beating my chest.”  He stroked the side of her face with his fingers.  “I don’t want this to end, Miranda, not ever.  I want to ram my fist through a wall every time I think of another man touching you.  You’re mine, all mine, and I intend to keep it that way.”

It wasn’t the admission of love she’d hoped for, but it was close enough to chase away the fear that he would send her packing.  “I’m sorry for not trusting you.”

“Given the side of the conversation you overheard, it’s easy to see why you jumped to the wrong conclusions, but if it ever happens again I want your promise that you won’t run away.  I damn near went crazy when I couldn’t find you.”

“I promise.  Do you still want to take that trip to Vegas or have we missed our flight?”

“The plane is ready and waiting. All it needs is the pilot and his passenger.”

Miranda’s face lit up.  “I didn’t know you could fly too.  Holt keeps promising to take me when we have an out of town meeting that isn’t too far away, but we always end up using his pilot so we can go over paperwork during the flight.  Did you both learn at the same time?  Do you have your own plane?  Oh, Jack, this is so exciting I can hardly wait!”

He chuckled at her childlike exuberance.  “Yes, we learned at the same time and yes, I have my own plane, but it’s back at a private airport just outside Malibu.  We’re borrowing one from Devlin Shipping.”  Leaning down, he gave her a brief kiss then hopped up and pulled her to her feet.  “If we hurry, we can still be there in time for lunch and an early show.  Then we can gamble half the night away.”  He gathered her closer.  “I fully expect you to spend the remaining half of the night making up for running off on me.”

Miranda’s hands inched up his chest.  “Maybe I could make it up to you a little at a time.”

Heat coursed through his veins when she smiled up at him. “What did you have in mind?”

Emboldened by the huskiness in his voice, she stood on her toes and whispered in Jack’s ear.  She was quite creative and explained in great detail just exactly how she planned to atone for what she’d done.  When she was finished, he let out a low, anguished groan then chastised her for torturing him with fantasies she wouldn’t be able to fulfill for several hours.  Apparently, turn about was fair play, because he returned the favor on the walk back by embellishing on the erotic fantasy until they were both practically running in their eagerness to reach the beach house.  Needless to say, they didn’t make it to Vegas in time for lunch.

                         ***

Miranda watched him lay down his cards, a triumphant smile on his handsome face.  “Four of a kind, Aces high,” she sounded impressed. “Very nice, Jack.”  Fanning her cards out on the bed, she giggled when he swore under his breath.  “Straight flush, darling, you lose…again.”

Jack stood up and shoved his jeans down, grumbling the entire time.  “I never would have agreed to strip poker if I’d known you were any good at it.  You told me you’d never been to Vegas, so how is it that I’m down to my boxers and the only thing you’ve had to remove is your shoes?”

“I never said I didn’t know how to play poker or blackjack or any other gambling game for that matter.  You just assumed if I hadn’t been to Vegas I didn’t know how to play.”

Jack settled back on the bed and waited for her to deal the next hand.  “How did you get so good at it then?”

“Bri loves to gamble. We usually take a couple of long weekends during the year and vacation in Aruba or St. Maarten.  Last year we went to Monaco and loved it so much that’s probably where we’ll go next time.”

“And here I thought you were a shy little wallflower,” he shook his head.  “What other fascinating tidbits are you hiding from me?  Do you skydive or race cars in your spare time?”