Live and Learn (14 page)

“H
appy birthday, baby.”

I looked up in surprise at the gift Sahad was holding in his hand.

“Sahad, my birthday’s not for another few days,” I protested lightly.

“Take it, baby,” he urged, moving with ease to sit at my feet on the sofa.

And I did take it, letting the book I was reading rest open against my chest as I did. He smiled at me, looking so handsome with his head newly shaven and wearing the Calvin Klein gray silk sweater and slacks I bought him. You got to give a little to get a lot, okay. Ahem, Rule #4.

“Open it,” he instructed me.

Carefully, I removed the silver wrapping paper from the long slender box. His eyes moved from my face to the box and back up to my face again. I opened the black leather box, and my eyes widened into circles. “Sahad,” I said softly with surprise and pleasure.

The diamond bracelet was exquisite. Quickly I eyed it at a total weight of three carats.

With a soft smile, I leaned forward and kissed him deeply. “Thank you, baby,” I whispered against those divine lips.

He took the box from my hands, removed the bracelet, and snapped it around my wrist.

My body tingled where his fingers lightly skimmed across my skin, and my heart raced at the sight of the diamonds glistening brilliantly in my eyes. “My birthday is not until Monday. Why are you giving this to me now?”

Sahad scooted down on the sofa and pulled me easily onto his lap. “I have to go out of town tomorrow, so I’ll miss your birthday,” he said regretfully, his hand massaging my inner thigh.

Disappointment and hurt clutched at my heart. All my visions of enjoying a romantic dinner on my birthday vanished. “Business again?” I asked lightly, trying hard to hide my disappointment.

“Yeah, I freed up some time to be in the video for my newest group. The shoot’s in L.A. and it’s gonna take a few days,” he told me, nuzzling his mouth against my neck. “You understand, don’t you?”

Not wanting to rock the boat just yet, especially with that bracelet glistening on my wrist, I just nodded and turned into his strong embrace.

His lips sought mine, and I purred like a kitten as his tongue danced around mine. My hurt feelings dissipated in the heat we created as my fingers tugged at the edges of his sweater to pull it over his head.

His hands rose to pull the clasp from my hair, and it fell around my shoulders in soft auburn waves. “Sexy ass,” he told me thickly.

I felt his dick press up against my core, and I ground my hips against it with a wicked smile. “Your sexy ass,” I countered as I lightly raked my fingers through the soft hairs of his muscled chest.

He pulled the edges of my stretch T-shirt from my jeans and lifted it above my breasts. “Why your nipples so hard?” he asked as his fingers lightly tweaked them.

I grunted softly in pleasure. “Why your dick so hard?”

He laughed. “Shit, what you think?”

I laughed with him, lowering my head to taste his lips again. “You are so hard to resist, Sahad Linx.”

He began to massage my breasts and tease my nipples like he had been doing it for years. “Why resist me?” he asked, pulling me down to suck wildly at my nipples through the lavender lace of my LaPerla brassiere.

“Shit,” I swore as heat rose from my pussy up to warm my neck like a schoolgirl blush.

I reached between us to unzip his pants and free his dick.

He hissed at the feel of my hands as I massaged the stiff length of it in a slow and steady rhythm that made his tip drip. “Damn, Cris, I want to get so deep inside you,” he groaned against my cleavage as he worked his hips against my hand.

Yes, I wanted to strip naked and set my pussy on his face.

Yes, I wanted to feel every inch of his dick against my tongue.

And God knew I wanted to slide down on that dick and ride it until it was white from our come.

But I was trying to play my cards to win.

“I just want to make sure what we have is going to last before I give it up. I do not believe in casual sex, Sahad.”

He looked frustrated. “Damn, baby, make this motherfucker come then. Shit.”

I pulled my breasts free from the cups of the bra and guided one to his hot open mouth, and I kept gripping and stroking his dick. He suckled my whole breast into his mouth, and his tongue had the quickness of a snake’s as he tasted my nipples like they were the sweetest candy.

Sweat coated my body, and I felt like I could come from him just sucking my nipples. “Suck ’em,” I groaned, drawing in air as I closed my eyes and rested my head against his.

“Come on, baby. Damn,” he moaned against my flesh before taking my other throbbing and aching nipple into his mouth.

A jolt of pure electricity shot through my body, and I whimpered as my clit swelled and my pussy dampened the seat of my panties.

The phone rang suddenly.

I was glad I remembered to turn down the volume on my answering machine. Last thing I needed was for him to overhear one of those sickening creditors leaving one of those nasty “you better pay me my money” messages. There was no way I was letting him know that my financial situation was not together.

The ringing ceased.

“This bitch gone come.”

I used some of his juices to wet my hand, making the up-and-down motion of my tight grip slick and hot as I picked up the pace.

My heartbeat raced. My nipples tingled like they were rubbed with ice. My pussy was so wet that my lips smacked against each other, and my clit was so thick that nothing but the slightest motion would make me come until I cried.

Wanting release, I bit my bottom lip and shifted on his lap until my pussy pressed against the side of his firm thigh. As I stroked him like a fiend I began to rock my hips back and forward on his leg, causing the hard seat of my jeans to rub my clit.

A little of that freak I was hiding from him came out as I cried out roughly when I felt my come squirt from my pussy like bullets fired from a gun. I rode his leg harder. “Suck my titties. Suck ’em now, motherfucker,” I cried out as I flung my head back.

“Aaah,” he cried out as his hips jerked up off the couch and his seed shot up like a geyser and coated my shirt, my chin, and his rigid stomach.

Even as my own nut subsided, I shivered as I worked his dick muscle until it was drained and lifeless in my moist and sticky hands.

Sahad’s face was damp with sweat as he cocked one eye open to look at me and shake his head like “Wow.”

Ding-dong
.

My eyes popped open, caught a little off guard by the doorbell. But then I relaxed. No one would have been allowed upstairs without my permission, so it was probably a neighbor. At least I knew it wasn’t Winthrop. The little impromptu scene with Mohammed that day in the parking garage had ceased all his efforts to reconcile.

Ding-dong
.

“I’ll get rid of whoever it is,” I promised, my throat dry and sore from breathing raggedly. My legs were still quivering as I rose, and I had to pause and give it a count of five with my eyes closed because I was dizzy. I pulled my bra up over my breasts and my shirt down over my chest.

Sahad flung his drained dick back inside his boxers and zipped his pants.

I did not miss the quick look he gave his diamond-encrusted watch as I made my way to the door. Platinum Records’ offices were closed in observance of Independence Day, but a man like Sahad never took a day off. I was still surprised that we had enjoyed the morning together without any interruptions.

Up on my toes, I looked out the peephole and saw him. My heart double pumped twice, and I hated that the kiss we shared had left such a impression on me. There was no way I would ever get involved with a man like Mohammed. No way in hell.

I took a deep breath before I opened the door. “Yes,” I said, meaning to be distant as Sahad looked on from the couch.

Mohammed, catching sight of the other man, checked his usual flirtatious manner. At least I assumed that was why he did it. I even assumed he would get excited at the sight of the rich and famous celebrity, but he did not.

“Whassup, man,” was all that he said with a nod of his head before turning his attention back to me. “I’m here to fix your kitchen sink.”

He did not even call me Miss Danielle like he usually did.

“Actually, could you come back? I’m busy—”

Mohammed handed me the clipboard. “No problem. Sign in the pink area.”

Even though the man of my dreams was waiting for me, I was put off by Mohammed’s cool demeanor. “Sign for what?”

“It says that you refused to allow me entrance to make the repair,” he said in that lilting Caribbean accent, looking down at me with eyes that were blank.

“I am not refusing to allow you entrance—”

Mohammed took a step forward, and the scent of cocoa butter surrounded me.

I placed a restraining hand on his chest. “But I have company.”

“This is the day you requested because you knew you had the day off,” he told me, handing me that clipboard again. “Sign.”

Sahad appeared behind me suddenly. “It’s okay, baby. Let him in.”

“Fine,” I acquiesced, stepping back.

“Sahad,” he stated, offering the other man his hand.

Mohammed took it with a wide smile. “Mohammed. It’s nice to meet you, man.”

With that he walked into my kitchen, his dreadlocks swinging down his back as he did. Soon the sound of his work echoed into the living room.

“I am so sorry about this,” I told Sahad, reaching my arms around his waist as he shut the front door.

“I’m sorry I’ll miss your birthday this Monday, but business is business, baby,” he told me, giving me a hug back that I knew was a farewell. “Listen, I have to run. There’s a lot of shit I have to tie up before I leave in the morning.”

Again I felt disappointed. “How about I fix dinner for us tonight?” I asked, hating the pleading tone in my voice.

“I’m sorry, baby. I have a dinner meeting with my lawyers.”

Again that pang of regret. “Good thing I trust you, Sahad.”

“Baby, the only thing on my mind besides you is making money and keeping my eyes on my money,” he teased, lifting my chin with his hand. “How about a trip when I get back?”

Now that piqued my interest. “Just you and me?”

“Just us, baby. Anywhere you want to go,” Sahad promised, kissing my forehead. “And I have another surprise for you.”

I looked down as he reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a Gucci logo key ring. My face became confused. “It’s the key to my penthouse.”

Gotcha!

Having that cold key pressed into my warm grasp lifted my spirits considerably.

L
ife was good for me.

I got an A for the class I took during June, so I was officially a college graduate.

I was studying hard for my New Jersey teaching certification, but in the meanwhile I had an interview for a long-term substitute position with the Essex County school board.

I would work and save money to get my own place. Soon I would have the one thing I wanted the most. Freedom.

I was in love with a man who lavished me with gifts and affection like I deserved.

I didn’t think anything could bust my bubble.

Anything except going through my daily planner and noticing that I didn’t have my cycle last month. My period was as regular as clockwork. Hell, you could set time to it. For the past nine years of my life there was only one other time that it didn’t appear as scheduled. I didn’t even want to think of that time.

Maybe it was just stress.

Then again maybe it wasn’t.

I felt weakened by the possibility of being pregnant…again. I couldn’t help but think of the child—my child—that I murdered. There was no way I was going through that again. No way in hell.

Grabbing my purse, I pushed the buzzer on the bus for the next stop before working my way through the standing crowd to the front of the bus just as it pulled to the curb. Four blocks from my house I walked into a small corner pharmacy and purchased my second home pregnancy test in my life.

As I started home, my purchase safely hidden in my book bag, my mind was focused on my dilemma. I moved like a robot. I waved to passers-by who spoke to me. I stopped at the corners until the street light switched to WALK. I did it all without really knowing that I was doing it.

“I might be pregnant,” I said to myself as I climbed the brick stairs of the house/jail I’d lived in for every year of my life.

Pausing at the front door, my hand slid to my book bag for my cell phone. Thinking twice, I let it drop back into my bag with my book and the pregnancy test. I’d started to call for Cristal or Alizé to come and get me, but instead I just went inside.

What was I going to say? “Hey, girls, guess what? Remember that abortion I had, the one y’all paid for, well, I might be pregnant again.”

And what about Bones?

And what about me? A piece of me wanted to replace the baby that I killed, and the other part of me was afraid like nothing else.

“Something wrong, Toya?”

My youngest sister, Latrece, was coming down the stairs just as I entered the foyer. Seeing the concern on her face, I wiped away my worried expression and threw her a big smile. “No, nothing wrong. Where’s Mama?”

“At the church,” Latrece told me over her shoulder as she walked into the kitchen.

My father was at work, and my mother was putting in her hours for the Lord. Good. Perfect time to do the test without my wardens busting in on me. I headed straight for the bathroom at the top of the stairs.

I breezed through the steps to do the test this time, eventually placing the cap on the stick before I quickly carried it and the empty box into my room. My heart was beating like a drum as I jammed an old shoe under my door.

I placed the stick flat on the bottom of my dresser drawer. I felt nauseous as the control window turned pink. In three minutes I would know for sure whether my ass had wrote a check I couldn’t cash.

My hand moved to my flat stomach. “Another baby,” I whispered aloud.

It had been just three weeks since that first night we spent in Los Angeles. Was it possible? Wasn’t it too soon?

If I had another chance to be a mother, I would not throw it away. This time would be different because Bones and I were in love. Didn’t he say he felt lucky to have met me that day at Platinum? Didn’t he make love to me like no other woman could satisfy him?

I smiled as I got caught up in my visions of his reaction to the news. He would kiss me and shout for joy. He would be too busy touring to go to every doctor’s appointment with me, but that was fine as long as he was happy. I could see him buying little designer clothes for the baby and taking publicity photos to be released to the press.

Maybe he would even propose!

Then I could really get the hell out of this prison and run my own house, raise my child my own way, take care of my family.

Yeah, this time would be different.

If
I was pregnant.

I moved from where I had been looking out my bedroom window. Wiping my sweaty palms on my knee-length navy skirt, I moved toward my fate. I reached in the drawer and picked it up, holding the test stick in my hand. “Well, that’s that.”