Liverpool Annie (10 page)

Bloody hell!' Annie said disgustedly. She went into kitchen, where she found Alan pouring a bottle of Ika into a bowl of punch. 'You bugger!' she cried. ) wonder everyone's crying, they're drunk!' dan looked unperturbed. 'Seemed like a good joke. 3se who don't drink are more pissed than those who

I got the vodka off this mate at college, a whole teful. It fell off the back of a lorry.' A.11 of Bootle'll have a head in the morning, including !' No wonder she'd flirted with Colin and laughed at )r Mam and Dad.

klarie came bursting into the kitchen, red-faced and spiring. 'Eh, Annie, our dad's just had a nervous akdown,' she panted. But he was dancing with me mam a few minutes

ago!' Annie said dazedly. She wondered if the world had gone insane.

'I know, but he suddenly slid down on the floor and began crying his eyes out. Dot and Bert are seeing to him in one of the bedrooms.'

'I'd better go and look after Mam.'

'There's no need. She's doing the rumba with the best man, though she's got a face on her like a zombie.'

'Jaysus, Mary and Joseph! This is a madhouse, not a wedding. It's all your fault!' Annie turned accusingly on Alan. 'None of this would have happened if you hadn't spiked the bloody punch.'

'No-one was forced to drink it!' Alan departed with another bowl.

Marie turned her back to Annie. 'Undo the zip will you, sis, I can hardly breathe.' She wriggled uncomfortably as Annie struggled with the zip. 'I can't understand it. This dress fitted perfectly a few weeks ago. Even me breasts feel bigger, all swollen.'

'Oh, Marie!' A terrible suspicion swept over Annie. 'You're not, you're not . . .' She couldn't bring herself to finish.

'Pregnant?' Marie said calmly. Then her pretty face wrinkled in horror. 'Jaysus, Annie, that explains it!'

The sisters stared at each other without speaking for several seconds, then they both burst into tears.

'What are we to do?' asked Annie. It was the day after the wedding, Sunday; they were in the bedroom discussing Marie's predicament.

'I've no idea,' Marie said sullenly.

'How far gone are you?'

'I've no idea,' Marie said again. 'I've never been regular like you. That's why it didn't cross me mind.'

'Didn't you take - what are they called, precautions?' Annie was still in a daze of shock. Marie had been going

it with boys since she was Uttle, but even after seeing ;r with those awful men in the Grand last Christmas, le'd never imagined her doing that thing with them.

'Don't talk so stupid.' Marie's grey eyes blazed. 'If I'd ken precautions, I wouldn't be up the bloody stick, ould I? Anyroad, where the hell was I supposed to get recautions from?'

'It's no good getting stroppy with me,' Annie said in a urt voice. 'I only want to help.'

'I'm sorry,' Marie muttered.

If only it weren't such a horrible day! It was still hot. Lit the sky was black and heavy, as if there was going ) be a storm. The light was on, but the dim bulb behind le dark yellow shade made the room look even more liserable and depressing.

As if Marie had read her thoughts, she said, 'I hate lis room, I hate this house and I hate this street. I went ito another girl's bedroom once, and it was full of ictures of film stars: Frank Sinatra and Gene Kelly and lontgomery Clift. This place stinks.'

Annie, sitting crosslegged on the bed, began to fiddle ith the eiderdown, feeling at a loss. Marie's attitude '^as so belligerent, as if the whole thing were Annie's lult. Perhaps she should have done more to protect her ster, she thought guiltily.

Thunder rumbled in the distance, and seconds later le room was lit by a brilliant flash of lightning, allowed by another and another.

'We've got to sort this out today, Marie,' Annie said rmly. 'I take it you don't intend to have the baby?' A hild would be the last thing Marie wanted. She was ttle more than a child herself.

She was surprised when Marie's hard expression 3ftened. 'I wish I could,' she said longingly. 'I'd love a aby of me own, someone to love and love me back, here's no way I'd be like themV She gestured at the

door as if their mam and dad were outside. 'But I'm only thirteen, I couldn't stand living in one of them homes for unmarried mothers.' Her voice became harsh. 'I suppose I'll just have to get rid of it, though apart from having hot baths and drinking loads of gin, which doesn't usually work, I haven't a clue how to go about it.'

An abortion! Annie hated the very word. It actually sounded cruel, and so very final. 'Neither have I,' she said. 'We could ask Dot.-*'

Marie shook her head. 'Once Dot's had a good yell and called me all the names under the sun, she'll be all right, but she won't help get rid of it. Some woman from down the street had an abortion and Dot hasn't spoken to her since. She'd offer to bring the baby up, that's all.'

'Perhaps that would be the best solution,' Annie said hopefully.

'No!' Marie said vehemently. 'I couldn't bear to see me own child being brought up by another woman.' Rain splattered against the window and within seconds became a downpour. The panes rattled in their frames.

Annie began to play with the eiderdown again, pleating and unpleating the shiny cotton between her fingers. Marie was so grown up at times, and seemed to have feelings and emotions she found alien. There was far more to her sister than the flighty, hard-hearted impression she usually gave. It made Annie feel rather inadequate, as if she herself were incapable of feeling strongly about anything.

'Abortion is against the law,' she said. 'You have to have it done in a back street or something.' Ruby Livesey had known a girl who'd known a girl who'd had one and she'd bled for days and ended up in hospital where the nurses treated her like dirt. 'Have you any money?'

'I've still got last week's pocket money, five bob.'

'I've three pounds saved for Christmas. I wonder what it costs?'

Marie shrugged. 'Search me!'

'I bet that's not enough. What about the father, would he help?'

'No, he wouldn't,' Marie snapped.

'Are you going to tell him?'

'No!'

'I think you should.'

'I think I shouldn't.'

'Why not?' Annie persisted.

'Because,' Marie breathed on her nails and polished them on the sleeve of her dress, 'it could be more than one person.'

'Oh, Marie!' Annie felt herself grow very hot. She stared at her sister, scandalised.

Marie said furiously. 'Don't look at me like that! Sometimes, Annie, you're so holier-than-thou it makes me sick.'

'You're taking it out on me again,' Annie said through gritted teeth. More than one person! She could easily be sick herself. She was about to say how utterly disgusted she was, but noticed Marie's jaw was trembling as if she were about to cry. All the nonchalance, the couldn't-care-less attitude was put on. Marie was hurting badly inside.

Annie got off the bed and reached inside the wardrobe for her best coat. She'd ask around at school as tactfully as she could to see if anyone knew about abortions - and how much they cost.

'Where are you going?' Marie demanded.

'To the Grand for tea. Afterwards, me and Sylvia are going to the pictures in Walton Vale.'

'Leaving me all by meself! Thanks, Annie. You're all heart.'

'I promised.' Earlier, she'd thought of ringing Sylvia from the phone box at the end of the street and cancelling the arrangement, but had changed her mind. It would be embarrassing, but she'd ask Sylvia for a loan. She'd bring the subject up on the way home.

They'd been to see The Last Time I Saw Paris, and were strolling arm in arm along the little stretch of sand where Dot had taken the girls when they'd first moved to Orlando Street. No-one brought their children to play on the sands these days. It was stained with oil and littered with debris from the sea, and with human debris; rusty cans and sodden mattresses, old clothes and scraps of paper. After the thunderstorms that afternoon, the air was refreshingly cool.

'Isn't Elizabeth Taylor too beautiful for words?' Sylvia breathed. 'As for Van Johnson!' She put her hand to her forehead and pretended to swoon. 'I think I'm in love.'

'Mmm,' muttered Annie.

'What's the matter, Annie? You've been awfully quiet all night. Didn't you enjoy the picture?'

'It was dead lovely,' Annie had scarcely taken it in.

'There's something wrong, I can tell.'

Annie took a deep breath. 'I want to borrow some money,' she said in a rush. 'I'll pay back every penny, I promise. I hate asking, but it's an emergency and I've no-one else to turn to.' She was glad it was dark so Sylvia couldn't see her shamed expression. She kicked violently at a tin can, suddenly angry that it was her who'd been put in the awkward position of having to get her sister out of the mess.

'You can have all the money you want,' Sylvia said instantly. 'How much: five pounds, ten, a hundred?'

'Oh, Sylvia!' Annie felt close to tears.

Sylvia squeezed Annie's hand. 'Don't be upset.

What's it for? Don't tell me if you'd sooner not,' she added hastily.

'It's for Marie,' Annie sniffed. 'She's pregnant. I don't know how much, because I've no idea what an abortion costs.'

'Pregnantr Sylvia stopped dead and her mouth fell open. 'Pregnant!' she said again.

'Isn't it terrible? It makes me go all funny, thinking about it.'

'I wonder where she did it?' Sylvia shuddered.

'I didn't ask.' Annie had visions of her sister under shadowy trees or in dark back alleys with men who had no faces.

'Where will she get the abortion done?'

'I don't know that, either.'

'Come on.' Sylvia veered them towards Crosby Road. 'Let's go back to the Grand and we'll discuss it over a cup of coffee.'

Annie paced nervously up and down the pale cream carpet. The coffee had long been drunk, and it was half an hour since Sylvia had gone downstairs promising, 'I won't be long.'

Cecy might regard Annie as a bad influence when she knew what her sister had done, and refuse to let Sylvia see her again. She'd think there was bad blood in the family and Annie could do the same thing.

The longplaying record finished, but she couldn't be bothered to turn it over. Anyroad, the music, the jazzy score of Guys and Dolls, had begun to get on her nerves.

Suddenly, Sylvia burst into the room. 'It's all settled,' she said breathlessly. 'Marie's booked into a nursing home in Southport this coming Saturday. She'll have to stay overnight.'

Annie sat down, overcome with relief. 'I can't thank

Cecy enough,' she began, but Sylvia interrupted with a horrified, 'Don't mention a word of this to Cecy! She'd never approve. It's ail Bruno's doing, with the help of the bloody Marxists.'

'I'll pay him back as soon as I can,' Annie vowed.

Sylvia shook her head. 'Bruno's only too pleased to help. It makes him feel good, doing something for the proletariat.'

Bruno Delgado picked Annie and Marie up from the corner of Orlando Street on Saturday morning. Sylvia was in the front of the big black Mercedes car.

Marie was subdued throughout the journey to South-port, overawed by the handsome, garrulous Bruno, who lectured them on politics the whole way. The law should be changed, he declared, so women could have an abortion legally. 'A woman's right to choose,' he called it.

'Your Parliament makes me sick,' he exploded at one point. 'All those middle-aged, middle-class men pontificating on what should happen to a woman's body. What the hell do they know about it? It's even worse in Italy, where the church makes all the rules.'

They were nearly there when he enquired, 'What excuse did you give at home to explain Marie's night

away

'We didn't need an excuse,' Annie said carelessly. 'They won't notice she's gone.' She could have bitten off her tongue when she saw in the rear mirror Bruno's dark eyebrows draw together in astonishment. Marie stiffened at her side. 'I feel invisible,' she'd said once. In a moment of awareness, Annie knew why she'd let the men make use of her body. They'd made her feel wanted, though for all the wrong reasons. She pressed her sister's hand. 'It'll be over soon,' she whispered.

Sylvia's attitude didn't help. She completely ignored Marie, not once even glancing in her direction. Annie had known she disapproved since Christmas Eve, but she didn't realise the dislike was so intense.

'She's led a charmed life,' Annie thought wryly. 'She doesn't know the half of it.' Marie had only been trying to survive as best she could.

Bruno and Sylvia remained in the car when the sisters went into the nursing home, a gracious detached ivy-covered house in a wide tree-lined avenue. 'They're expecting you,' Bruno said. 'It's all arranged.'

A woman in a white starched overall came towards them, her face expressionless. 'Miss Harrison.-'' She looked from one to the other. Annie pushed Marie forward. 'Come with me, please.'

Marie turned, and Annie felt a fierce stab of pity at the sight of her stricken face. 'Do you want me to stay?' she said.

The woman in the overall said coldly, 'That's not allowed. You can pick her up at the same time tomorrow.'

Annie put her arms around her sister. As their cheeks touched, she said softly, 'Don't worry, Marie. We'll come through. One of these days, everything will be all right, you'll see.'

'I'm glad the summer holiday's nearly over,' Annie said with a sigh. 'School seems a nice change when you've been off six whole weeks.'

'I suppose it does.' Sylvia echoed Annie's sigh. They were bored, having done everything there seemed to be to do; gone to Southport and New Brighton numerous times, seen so many pictures that the plots had become

muddled in their minds, and they were sick to death of Liverpool city centre. School offered variety to what had become tedium.

They were sitting on the sands, having removed rubbish to make a clear space, watching a small cargo boat sail towards a rippling green and purple sunset,

'Have you made up your mind what to do when you leave?' Sylvia enquired. 'You'll be fifteen in October.'

Annie frowned. 'Dot thinks I should stay at school till next July. After that . . .' she paused, picked up a handful of sand and let it fall through her fingers. 'The thing is,' she burst out, 'I can't imagine things ever being different. I've got to look after me mam and dad.'