Living in Secret: Living In..., Book 3 (7 page)

She tried to take a breath and failed. “What?”

His hand moved and she felt the lightest brush of his fingers against her sex. It was only a bare touch but she felt it like he’d trailed a lit match over her skin, leaving her burning, on fire. Instinctively she tried to close her legs but Raphael’s fingers tightened, holding her open.

It was a slip. A mistake. Connor’s eyes glittered. “Ah, I thought so. You want me. You want this.” And his hand moved between her thighs in another light touch, his fingers beginning to trace the outline of her sex in a slow, lazy movement.

He’d never touched her like this before, purely for the pleasure of it. And she couldn’t stop the sound that escaped her this time, a choked gasp as a vicious kind of need began to twist inside her. “I don’t…I don’t want you,” she forced out, her voice ragged.

He leaned in closer. “Tell me to stop then.” His fingers moved higher, finding her clit, circling gently, maddeningly.

She wanted to say it, to not give away so much to him. But she couldn’t bring herself to get the word out. Because he was right. She wanted him. His dark hunger and his intensity, all the things he’d denied her for too many years.

All the things that burned in his eyes right now.

“I’m s-staying,” she said hoarsely. Not an admission, yet not a denial either.

He said nothing for a moment, studying her, his fingers moving in slow, easy circles. “You’re wet, Victoria. I can feel it. Is that me or him?”

Him. Raphael. Who was still and silent behind her, keeping her legs apart. God, she’d almost forgotten he was there. She wanted to say it was Raphael, just to push Connor more.

But of course that would be a lie.

Connor’s fingers eased lower, his touch on her slick flesh unhurried, as if he had all the time in the world. He looked down at what he was doing and she couldn’t seem to stop shaking, the look on his face taut with desire.

This was not the man she married. The man with whom she’d last had perfunctory sex over eighteen months ago. Whose expression had remained shuttered and closed afterwards as he’d given her a dry kiss on the cheek. Leaving her with an aching sense of loss.

No, this was not that man. This was someone else.

“You,” she breathed, unable to help herself.

His gaze flicked up, meeting hers. And there was fire in it. And a steely determination that made her tremble even harder.

He took his fingers away, easing back from her and she almost protested, her body tensing, aching at the loss. “Make her come,” he ordered softly to the man behind her. “If she wants it from me, she’s going to have to earn it.”

He saw the anger flare deep in Victoria’s dark eyes. And felt the savage twist of his own satisfaction. He’d made her make a mistake. Because he was betting she’d been desperate to keep the fact she wanted him hidden. And yet he’d gotten it out of her, forced her to say it.

His fury began to abate, becoming sharper, more precise.

He didn’t look at the man sitting behind her, the guy was almost irrelevant now because what mattered was that she wanted him. And he wasn’t going to let her have him.

If she wanted pleasure, she’d have it on his say so and only given by someone else. Because when he finally gave it to her, he wanted her desperate for it. He wanted her begging.

Victoria was panting, her legs held spread and open by Raphael’s hands. Her dress pulled tight over her full breasts, the fabric outlining the hard press of her nipples. Black curls cascaded over one shoulder and there were black curls too between her thighs. She was deeply flushed, her mouth full and red, lips parted.

He couldn’t stop looking at her.

Over the years he’d tried not to give in to the erotic fantasies that used to invade his dreams. Fantasies about her on her knees, begging him to fuck her. Do anything to her. Anything at all. Fantasies where she looked at him the way Lily had looked at Kahu, and he’d taken her over and over again, hard and rough, giving in to the desire for her that continued to haunt him.

Eventually he’d stopped dreaming about her, but it didn’t stop those images from flashing in his head every time he made love to her. They’d made sex so difficult he’d felt nothing but relief when she’d started pulling away from him, sex becoming rarer and rarer between them.

It had been easier that way. Better no sex at all than for him to be at the mercy of his desires. He’d seen firsthand the consequences of that. In other people. And in himself. He even had the reminder inked into his skin so he never forgot.

But perhaps that approach had been a mistake. Perhaps it was better to purge himself of his fury and his hunger once and for all.

His gaze dropped and he let himself look between her thighs, where the folds of her pussy glistened in the dim light of the bar. All wet and open. For him.

Well, she wasn’t the only one. He was hard, aching for her, but he wasn’t going to give in yet. Not until he got what he wanted from her.

Raphael’s hands were moving, sliding up her thigh, but then she said, “Stop.” The hands stopped.

Connor looked at her, watching the dark flame burn in her eyes. “Scared?”

But it wasn’t fear coloring her cheeks. “No,” she snapped. Her head turned slightly. “Do you have a condom, Raphael?”

The other man flashed him a look because it was clear where this was headed.

The blood in his veins began to pound, his breathing accelerating. So she was going to do it. She was going to fuck this guy right in front of him. Pushing him, right to the last.

Well, she wasn’t the only one who could push.

He gave Raphael a brief nod.

“Of course,” the other man said. “I always have a condom, darling.”

Victoria’s dark gaze returned to Connor’s, full of challenge and fire. “Good. If you’re going to make me come, I’d really prefer it if you were inside me.”

The atmosphere, already thick and charged, became electric.

Was she expecting him to protest? To lose his temper entirely and storm from the room? No, she wasn’t. She was expecting him to stop it. She was expecting him to grab her and fuck her himself.

That was too damn bad. Because he wasn’t going to. At least, not yet.

So he said nothing, only watching her as Raphael shifted behind her, putting his hands on her hips and easing her forward. Victoria didn’t look to see what he was doing, her gaze firmly on Connor’s.

“Does this bother you?” Her voice was soft, a taunting note in it. “Knowing I’m going to have another man inside me?”

Raphael took something out of his pocket, a wallet. He extracted a packet from it.

“Say it properly, Victoria,” Connor murmured, watching the color ebb and flow in her cheeks. “You’re going to have another man fuck you.” And he could see also the effect the word had on her, the faint flicker of her gaze. “What’s the matter? Are you going to back out? After I’ve gotten your pussy good and ready for him?”

Another flicker, her pupils dilating, a soft hitch in her breathing. Oh she liked that, did she? She liked having him say those filthy words to her. Words they’d never, ever said to each other before.

The sound of a zipper being drawn down was loud in the room, the crackle of foil following it. Her knuckles were white on the arms of the chair.

Jesus. Did she really want this?

He moved closer to the chair, the scent of musk and sex already heavy in the air. Reaching out, he took her chin in his hand, forcing her head back, looking down into her wide, black eyes. “You don’t have to do this,” he said softly.

She didn’t move, but he could see the brief gleam of triumph in her gaze. “Jealous, Connor?”

“You’re afraid.”

A flicker of shock crossed her face then it was gone. “Not of this. Do it, Raphael.”

Connor didn’t release her chin, watching her, and she didn’t look away as the other man lifted her slightly, positioning himself. Then her eyes widened, a soft sound escaping her as she was lowered again and Connor couldn’t help looking down as the other man’s cock pushed into her, the soft, wet folds, her pussy spreading to accommodate him.

It was the most erotic sight he’d ever seen in his life.

Raphael gave a soft grunt, one arm sliding around her waist, holding her in position.

“Wait,” Connor ordered. He was going to be in charge of this, not her. Tightening his grip on her chin, he said, “Keep your eyes on me, Victoria. Only on me.”

She was shaking, that cool, shuttered gaze of hers now wide and open. Staring at him.

“Fuck her, Raphael,” he said softly. “But take it slowly because I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want you to make her come. I want to do it.”

She hadn’t meant to take it this far, she really hadn’t. But he’d forced the admission from her and she’d been so damn angry. She hadn’t wanted him to know. She’d never wanted him to know. And now he did so she had to do something.

But she couldn’t remember now what she’d even been trying to prove because she was sitting in this chair, and Raphael was inside her. And Connor had her chin in his hand, forcing her to look into his blazing blue eyes, where there was nothing but fury and heat.

And she was shaking with desire.

But he was right, she was also afraid. Afraid of the part of herself that had made her do this. That had pushed and pushed, gotten so carried away she was letting another man have sex with her while her husband watched.

Have sex? Say it, Victoria. You’re letting another man fuck you…

Her mouth opened but nothing came out as Raphael’s arm tightened around her waist. As his hips flexed and he thrust, his breath harsh in her ear. She gasped, feeling the push of his cock inside and the helpless movement of her own body meeting it.

“You like that, don’t you, dirty girl?” Connor’s voice was rough and soft as frayed velvet, his grip on her chin hard. “You like having him fucking you while I watch.”

Oh God. Those words. They made her feel so bad. So wrong. So filthy. It was the most intense pleasure she’d ever experienced in her entire life.

His grip on her chin firmed as Raphael thrust again, as she let out another gasp. “That’s right, Victoria. Enjoy his cock while you can.” His thumb ran across her lower lip, tracing the soft curve of it, making her shiver. “Because that’s all you’re going to get of it.”

The touch of his thumb was so light it was unbearable. The blazing heat in his eyes blinding. And yet she couldn’t look away. The pleasure was gathering inside her, a dense, hard knot of sensation.

She began to pant, her world narrowing to the blue of Connor’s eyes, to the flex of Raphael’s hips and the slide of him inside her, driving her further and further to the edge.

Connor’s thumb settled against her mouth and then pushed inside. The salty taste of his skin flooded her, adding to the intensity of the sensations. “Suck it, dirty girl,” he whispered. “Suck it like it’s my cock. And if you do it well enough, maybe I’ll let you come.”

Perhaps she had gone too far, a part of her desperate to turn back. But now it was too late and she knew it. She’d opened the box and let out the darkness, and there was no way she could put it back in again.

Perhaps you don’t even want to.

She closed her mouth on Connor’s thumb, swirling her tongue around him. And she licked him, sucked him. Did exactly what she was told, watching as the desire in his gaze burned brighter, fiercer. God, she wasn’t the only one who was desperate.

Raphael’s thrusts became faster, the slide of his cock inside her a delicious friction that had her forgetting she was supposed to be hiding her pleasure. Restraining her desire. Had her forgetting who she was entirely.

She gave a strangled moan, lifting her hands to touch the man standing in front of her, wanting him helplessly.

“Oh, no you don’t,” Connor said softly. “Hold her hands down.”

And Raphael’s fingers were there, wrapping around her wrists, gently pulling her hands down onto the arms of the chair and keeping them there.

She took a ragged breath, the sense of restraint both exciting and maddening. In retaliation she closed her teeth around Connor’s thumb, watching with intense satisfaction as the look in his eyes flared.

“Harder,” he growled. “Fuck her harder.”

Raphael’s body flexed under hers, his fingers tight on her wrists as he thrust up into her in short, hard movements.

Everything began to dissolve around the edges, including all her plans and good intentions. There was only this. Only the pleasure Connor was directing. Only the release that was so near and yet so damn far away.

She moaned, Raphael’s ragged breathing against her ear as he turned his face into her hair.

“What do you need to do, dirty girl?” Connor murmured. He took his thumb out of her mouth, slicking it over her lower lip, making it wet. “I want to hear you say it.”

“I…” She could barely speak. “I need to… come.”

“And what do you say?”

“P-please.”

“Please what?”

“Please, Connor.”

“Beg me, dirty girl. Beg me and I might let you.”

And the words came out whether she wanted them to or not. “Please, Connor. Oh, please. Please let me come.”

A savage kind of smile turned his mouth. “Good. That’s exactly what I wanted to hear.”

He reached down between her thighs with his other hand and found her clit. Brushed his thumb over it once, twice.

Raw lightning ignited as the orgasm rushed over her, Connor’s mouth covering hers. Swallowing her choked scream and the series of desperate cries that followed it as she rode out the wave of unbelievable pleasure.

Raphael let go of her hands, one arm sliding around her waist and holding her still as he thrust hard and deep, chasing his own release, his sharp groan echoing as he found it.

Victoria closed her eyes, aware only of Connor’s mouth, tasting him in the bright darkness behind her lids, whisky and heat, and an unexpected sweetness. His fingers wound into her hair, cradling her head as the kiss went on and on. As she lost herself in it.

He’d never kissed her like this before, with raw passion and heat, his tongue exploring, caressing. Their kisses had always been perfunctory, dutiful almost. Kisses that had left her empty and hollow.