Living Nightmare (10 page)

A low, warning rumble rose up from Madoc’s chest. “Don’t you dare.”

The man who’d hurt her pushed himself to his feet. Nika backed away from him, tripping on her own feet in her haste.

“Go, Madoc. Get out of here,” said Joseph.

Nika regained her balance and tugged on Madoc’s arm. She really didn’t want to be the cause of any more bloodshed, and if she didn’t get him to leave, there was definitely going to be more.

“Take me home, Madoc. I’m tired.”

He looked down at her, and his blunt features relaxed. His green eyes slid to her arm and he let out a violent curse before picking her up and heading down the hall.

The part of her that needed to prove she was independent warred against the part of her that loved being close to him like this. In the end, the practical side won. She hadn’t spent the last several months getting stronger only to be treated like she’d break if the wind blew too hard. “I can walk,” she told him.

“Nope.”

“Where are we going?”

“To see the fucking bloodsucking leech, Tynan.”

Nika flinched at his harsh words, and the slight hesitation in Madoc’s gait told her he’d noticed.

“He won’t heal me,” she said. “My blood hurts him.”

“Good. Serves the bastard right.”

“Stop, Madoc. There’s no point in waking him up again today.”

Madoc stopped dead in his tracks and looked down at her. He wasn’t a traditionally handsome man, but the rough planes of his face drew her in and made her wish she had the nerve to stroke her fingertips over his skin.

“Again?” he asked. “You’ve seen him today? Are you hurt somewhere I don’t know about?”

“No, I had to take the bone to him, and he was really tired when I stopped by. Let him sleep. My arm will be fine.”

“Did he try to take your blood?”

“No. I just told you it hurts him.”

Madoc’s chest lifted with a sigh, which pressed her shoulder against hard muscles she wished he’d let her feel with her fingers. Every time she reached for him, he’d back away.

And then it struck her that he was a bit too busy holding her to back away now. She could do whatever she wanted, and he’d have to drop her to stop her.

Before she lost the opportunity, she slid her uninjured arm around his neck and nestled her nose just beneath his ear. His scent went to her head, making it spin. There was nothing flowery about him, not even the smell of soap, just the scent of his skin and the warm peace it brought her to breathe him in.

She felt his muscles clench around her, holding her tighter as he began walking again—quicker and in the opposite direction. She didn’t really care where he took her. After so many months of wishing for him to come home, she was simply glad he was here, close enough to touch.

“Tynan told me he would only help me learn the truth about that bone if you gave him blood. Will you help?”

“Tynan’s had plenty of my blood. Tell him to use that.”

“So you won’t help?”

“Sorry. He’ll have to find another sucker.”

Great. Now what was she going to do? Maybe Paul would help.

They came to a stop in front of the door to the suite she shared with Paul and Andra. He pounded on the door with the toe of his boot. No one came.

The light on the electronic lock turned from red to green and the door popped open.

“Knew he was watching,” said Madoc under his breath.

“What?” asked Nika.

“Nicholas. He’s the man behind all the security cameras. He has remote access to all the doors and let us in.”

Madoc took her inside and set her on the couch. Nika tried to hold on to him, but he managed to pry her arm free and back away. “Paul? Andra? You home?”

No one answered.

“Afraid to be alone with me?” she asked.

“Fuck, yes. And you would be, too, if you weren’t crazy. You need to listen to your sister and keep your distance from me.”

It stung that he called her crazy, but it hurt even more knowing he didn’t want to be around her. “You won’t hurt me. I don’t know why Andra can’t see that the way I do.”

He ignored her comment and scrubbed a hand over his face, then looked around like he was hoping for a means of escape.

“Why do you hate me?” she asked. “Are you afraid crazy is contagious?”

He frowned at her in confused shock, like she’d sprouted horns. “I don’t hate you. I’ve never hated you.”

“You can’t stand to be near me. It amounts to the same thing.”

“No. It really doesn’t.”

“Then why? Why do you run away? Do I hurt you in some way?”

He went into the small, open kitchen, grabbed a few ice cubes, and wrapped them in a thin towel. “Here. This might help.”

Nika took the towel and pressed it against the blisters, hiding the flinch of pain the pressure caused. “You didn’t answer my questions.”

He paced between the couch and the TV, back and forth, every movement jerky and agitated.

“Are you not even going to talk to me now?” she asked.

“Damn it, Nika, you need to stop pushing. I’m doing the best I can here, trying to keep myself under control.”

“What do you mean? Why do you have to control yourself?”

“You really don’t get it, do you?”

Nika shook her head. Her hair was nearly dry now, but still cool against her skin. “I would if you’d explain it to me.”

He kept pacing, ignoring her. Nika was sick to death of being ignored. She’d spent years being talked about rather than being talked to. She’d wasted years trying to get the people around her to listen. She refused to sit quietly while she asked perfectly reasonable questions and was ignored.

Nika stood and put herself in front of him, barring his path. “Stop pacing and answer me. Why do you keep avoiding me?”

His mouth tightened like he was trying not to say anything, but in the end, the words won. “I avoid you because I want things from you that you can’t give me. Because when I’m with you, I forget why I shouldn’t just take them.”

“What things? You’ve never asked me for anything.”

“And I never will. It’s just not right.”

“What’s not right?”

His jaw bunched and he looked away, deliberately ignoring her.

Something snapped inside Nika and let free a wave of anger so strong, it nearly made her sway with the force of it. She grabbed the front of his knit shirt, shoved her fist into his hard chest, and yelled, “I won’t let you ignore me. I won’t let you treat me like I’m not here. I matter, damn it. I may be crazy, but I
matter
.”

He blinked in shock at her outrage. “Of course you matter. What the hell made you think you don’t? You’re one of the most important people on the face of the fucking planet. I’d do anything for you.”

That last part doused her anger, stopping it cold. “You think I’m important?”

“Why the hell do you think I try so hard to stay away? There’s some man out there somewhere who is going to find you and give you a kind of power you can only dream about—he’s going to give you the power to take back what the Synestryn have stolen from you. I can’t be the person who gets in the way of that, and if you don’t get away from me, you’re going to die before you can find him.”

“What if
you’re
that man? You’re the only Theronai who I can stand to touch me. When you’re around, I feel like myself—sane and safe. No one else makes me feel that way. Why can’t it be you?”

Madoc’s eyes closed in regret. She saw his throat move as if he was having trouble swallowing. He held out his hand, showing her the luminescent ring he wore. Gently, he wrapped his fingers around the fist she had tight around his shirt. The other ring—the cold black one—irritated her skin, but she ignored it.

“See?” he asked.

Nika looked at the ring. It was pale, almost white, and the few strands of color within it moved so slowly she had to stare hard to tell they were moving at all. “What am I looking for?”

“A change. Color. A feeling. Something. Anything. I’ve been looking for it since the day I met you and haven’t seen a thing.”

“So?”

“So, that means we’re not compatible. I can’t help you.”

“Are you sure?”

He gave her a solemn nod.

She didn’t want to believe him. She didn’t want to imagine her life with another man—any man. She wanted Madoc.

“Maybe Gilda or one of the Sanguinar can fix it.”

“There’s nothing to be fixed. It’s just the way things are. You have to accept it and move on.”

“That’s what Andra said about Tori. Sometimes, the way things look is not real. If I accepted that Tori was dead, then I’d be giving up on her, dooming her to die alone in the dark.”

“Sometimes that’s the way things are.”

Nika shook her head. “Not with me, they aren’t. I’m not giving up on Tori, and I’m not giving up on you.”

“If you don’t, I’m going to hurt you. I don’t want to, but I will.”

Nika shrugged. “Then I get hurt. It won’t be the first time.”

“And that is why I can’t stay here. I can’t stick around and make it easy for you to destroy yourself.”

“If you leave again, I’ll follow you. There’s something wrong with you. I can see it. Something dark is growing inside you. Hurting you. You need me to protect you from it.”

Madoc’s green eyes widened and he took a long step back, wrenching her hand from his shirt.“You don’t know what you’re talking about. You don’t see anything.”

“I do. You can lie to yourself all you like, but I see the truth. You need me, and I’m not going to let you go.”

He held up his hands and continued to back up. “Stay away from me. I mean it.”

“If you leave, I’ll find you.”

“I go places way too dangerous for you.”

“I’ll still follow.”

“I don’t believe you.”

Nika stood her ground. This was too important to let go. “Try me.”

M
adoc didn’t dare risk that Nika would follow through on her threat. He was still going to leave, but not until Andra knew the score. He’d make sure Andra kept her locked up nice and tight, where nothing could hurt her.

How could she know that? How could she see it?

Maybe the better question was, how could everyone else
not
see it?

Madoc reached for his cell phone, only to realize it was lying in pieces at the bottom of a garbage disposal in Nebraska. Fortunately, his freakish memory allowed him to have memorized every phone number he ever saw.

He went to the phone hanging on the wall in the kitchen and dialed Paul’s cell phone. No answer. He dialed Andra with the same results, refusing to leave a message.

“They’re gone,” said Nika. She’d curled up on the couch, tucking her legs under her. Her pale hair fell just to her shoulders, sliding along the slim column of her throat.

She was heavier now than she had been months ago, her skin less pale. The distance he’d put between them had clearly been good for her. She’d filled out, was no longer a walking skeleton, and seemed lucid and healthy.

If he didn’t get away from her soon, he’d do something to fuck that up and she’d be stark raving mad again before he could stop himself from making the mistake.

“Where did they go?” he asked.

“Check on the fridge. Andra always leaves me a note.”

Madoc hadn’t noticed the note before, but he found it, read it, and wanted to pound his fist into the stainless steel. “A little girl went missing last night in Ohio. Andra had to leave immediately to find her.”

Nika nodded. “This happens all the time. I doubt we’ll see her or Paul for a day or two.”

Too long. That was way too long to stick around. He was going to have to find her another babysitter. “Who watches you when they’re away?”

Her body stiffened in indignation. “No one. I am an adult.”

“What about Grace?”

“She hasn’t needed to take care of me for months. I’m better now, Madoc. Certainly well enough to take care of myself.”

“So I keep hearing.”

“Maybe you should listen.”

Not likely. He’d seen what happened when Andra wasn’t around—what that Theronai had done to her. The ice pack he’d made her covered the angry red blisters that fucker had left on her arm, but he still knew they were there.

He started forward, intending to lift the towel and check the damage, when he caught himself and stopped in his tracks. He was the last person on the face of the planet who should play nursemaid.

“I’m going to go talk to Joseph.”

“Talk to him all you like. It won’t change a thing. He can’t make me stay here any more than you can. I’ll go where I want, when I want. I have a lot of living to catch up on after all those years in the mental hospital.”

“You’re not going to catch up on anything if you get yourself killed.”

“Then I die, but I’ll do it living life my way. I deserve to make my own choices.” She rose from the couch, yawning and stretching. The top of her shirt pulled up, exposing a narrow band of skin above her jeans.

Madoc’s eyes were riveted to the sight. A faint shadow slid down the center of her stomach, deepening as it reached her navel. Her pants were loose on her hips, and he was sure that if he gave them the slightest tug, they’d go down without a fight, baring her so he could touch and taste. His mouth started to water and his hands lifted toward her before he realized what he was doing. He knew without a doubt that if he touched her, he’d lose control. He’d strip her naked, lay her out, and take her before anyone even had time to respond to her screams for help. For all he knew, people were used to her screaming delusions and wouldn’t even bother to respond. He’d have all the time he needed to slake his lust and ease some of the pressure throbbing inside him.

The idea had way too much appeal, and part of him began calculating his odds of getting away with it. To hell with his honor. What good was it, anyway? It sure wasn’t going to ease his pain, save his life, or keep his soul from dying.