Living sober (14 page)

There are seven AA books and three booklets in a format similar to this one.

"Alcoholics Anonymous''

This is the basic textbook of AA experience.

AA as we know it is the outgrowth of this book, which was originally prepared by a hundred or so alcoholics who had learned to stay sober by helping each other. After a few years of sobriety, they recorded what they had done and gave the account this title. Our Fellowship then began to be called by the name "Alcoholics Anonymous."

In this volume, the original AA experience is spelled out by those who did it first, then wrote about it. It is the primary source book of all basic AA. thought for all of us—whether we read and reread it often or seldom. Most members get a copy as soon after coming to AA as they can, so they may take the fundamental AA. ideas directly from the source, not hear of them second- or third-hand.

Members often refer to "Alcoholics Anonymous" as the "Big Book," but not to compare it with any sacred text Its first printing (in 1939) was on very thick paper, so it came out surprisingly fat and was laughingly dubbed the Big Book.

The first 11, basic chapters were written by Bill W., co-founder of AA It also contains many AA members' own stories, as written by themselves, and several appendixes of additional matter.

Simply reading the book was enough to sober up some people in AA's early days, when there were only a few AA groups in the world. It still works that way for some problem drinkers in isolated parts of the world, or for those who live on seagoing vessels.

Regular readers of the book say that repeated readings reveal many deeper meanings that cannot be grasped at the first hurried glance.

"Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions''

AA fundamentals are discussed at even greater depth in this book, also written by Bill W. (It is sometimes nicknamed "The Twelve and Twelve.") Members who want to study the AA program of recovery seriously use it as a text in conjunction with the Big Book.

Written 13 years after "Alcoholics Anonymous," this smaller volume explains principles of AA behavior, both individual and group. The Twelve Steps, guides to individual growth, had been discussed more briefly in the Big Book; the group principles—the Twelve Traditions—became crystallized through trial and error, after the first book was published. They characterize the movement and make it unique—quite unlike other societies.

"Alcoholics Anonymous Comes of Age"

This brief history tells how the Fellowship started, and how it grew for its first 20 years. It recounts the tale of how a small group of courageous, once-hopeless former drunkards—with all the odds against them—finally became securely established as a worldwide movement of acknowledged effectiveness.

"As Bill Sees It"

A reader of Bill W.'s pithiest paragraphs, from his voluminous personal correspondence as well as other writings. A subject index covers topics of interest to any problem drinker.

"Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers"

The life story of AA's co-founder is interwoven with recollections of early AA in the Midwest, mostly in pioneer members' own words.

"Pass It On"

This biography of AA's co-founder is subtitled The Story of Bill Wilson and How the AA Message Reached The World." It also traces the development of the Fellowship; 39 photographs from AA's history.

"Came to Believe..."

Subtitled The Spiritual Adventure of AA as Experienced by Individual Members," this is a collection of 75 members' versions of "a Power greater than ourselves." They range from orthodox religious interpretations through humanistic and agnostic views.

"Daily Reflections: A Book of Reflections by AA Members for AA Members"

AA's reflect on favorite quotations from AA literature. A reading for each day of the year.

"AA. in Prison: Inmate to Inmate"

A collection of 32 stories, previously printed in the AA Grapevine, sharing the experience of men and women who found AA while in prison.

Pamphlets

Many leaflets on various aspects of AA, some of them addressed to special-interest groups, are also published by AA World Services, Inc.

They have all been carefully prepared under close supervision by AA representatives from all over the U.S. and Canada, so that they represent the broadest possible consensus of AA thinking. It is impossible to understand all the workings of AA unless one is well acquainted with all these publications (complete listing on page 90).

In addition, the AA General Service Office produces a bimonthly newsletter,
Box 4-5-9,
and several other periodical bulletins, as well as a report on the annual General Service Conference of AA Many A.A. members start and end each day with a quiet moment in which they read a passage of some AA literature. Poring over AA books and pamphlets represents "a meeting in print" for many members, and the range of AA information and inspiration summed up in them cannot be found anywhere else. Any AA reading starts a trail of AA thinking which leads away from a drink, so many AA's always carry with them some piece of AA literature—not just because reading it can help ward off the kind of thinking that leads to drinking, but also because it can afford refreshment and entertainment for the mind at odd moments. AA literature not available at an AA meeting can be ordered directly by writing to: Box 459, Grand Central Station, New York, NY 10163.

The AA. Grapevine

Every month, a fresh collection of AA thought and humor appears in this magazine. Almost all its articles, graphics, and cartoons are by A.A. members. The writers are not paid, and many illustrations also are contributed free.

It contains thought pieces, illustrated stories, news about AA, letters from AA members around the globe, and inspirational articles (no poems).

Individual subscriptions may be ordered directly by writing to: Box 1980, Grand Central Station, New York, NY 10163. Copies of the current issue are usually available at meetings of AA groups.

29 Going to A.A. meetings

Long before this booklet was even thought of, every single idea in it and many more suggestions for living sober were learned and
proved successful
by hundreds of thousands of alcoholics. We did this not just by reading, but also by talking to each other. At first, we mostly listened.

You can easily do the same thing, free, and you don't have to "join" anything.

What we did was simply go to meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous. There are over five million each year, in approximately 150 countries around the globe. And remember, you do not have to become an AA member in order to visit some AA meetings. If all you want to do is sort of "try out" AA, you are entirely welcome to attend AA meetings as an observer and just listen quietly, without saying a word. You don't need to give your name, or you can give a phony one if you want to. AA understands. It doesn't record names of either members or visitors attending its meetings, anyhow.

You won't have to sign anything, or answer any questions.

Feel free to ask some, if you wish. But many people prefer just to listen the first few times.

Like practically everyone else who has gone to an AA meeting, you'll probably be very surprised the first time. The people you see around you look mostly normal, healthy, reasonably happy, and successful. They do not look like old-fashioned cartoons of drunkards, bums, or fanatic, dried-up teetotalers.

What's more, you'll usually find us quite a friendly bunch, doing a lot of laughing—at ourselves.

That is why, if you are hung-over, an AA gathering provides a cheerful environment for getting past the hangover and beginning to feel much, much better.

You can be very sure that every AA member in that room deeply understands exactly how you feel, because we remember vividly our own hangover miseries, and how it felt the first time we ever went to an AA meeting.

If you are shy, kind of a loner—just like many of us—you'll find the AA members willing to let you pretty much alone if that is really what you want and it makes you more comfortable.

However, most of us found it much more beneficial to hang around for a bite and a chat after the meeting. Feel free to participate in the socializing, or "eyeball-to-eyeball sharing," just as much, or as little, as you wish.

Different kinds of AA. meetings

Many AA members from all over the U.S. and Canada were asked for ideas for this booklet. Near the top in all their lists is the suggestion that one of the surest ways of avoiding drinking is going to various kinds of AA meetings. "That's where we learn all these ideas from each other," one member wrote.

If you want to stay sober, going to
any
AA meeting is, of course, safer than going to a bar or a party, or staying at home with a bottle!

Chances for avoiding malaria are best when you stay away from a swamp full of mosquitoes. Just so, chances of not drinking are better at an AA meeting than they are in a drinking situation.

In addition, at AA meetings there is a kind of momentum toward recovery. Whereas drinking is the object of a cocktail party, sobriety is the common goal aimed for at any AA meeting. Here, perhaps more than anywhere else, you are surrounded by people who understand drinking, who appreciate your sobriety, and who can tell you many means of furthering it Besides, you see many, many examples of successfully recovered, happy, non-drinking alcoholics. That's not what you see in barrooms.

Here are the most popular kinds of AA group meetings, and some of the benefits derived from attending them.

Beginners (or newcomers) meetings

These are usually smaller than other meetings, and often precede a larger meeting. They are open to anyone who thinks he or she may possibly have a drinking problem. In some places, these meetings are a series of scheduled discussions or talks about alcoholism, about recovery, and about AA itself.

In others, the beginners meetings are simply question-and-answer sessions.

AA's who have used these meetings a lot point out that these are excellent places to ask questions, to make new friends, and to begin to feel comfortable in the company of alcoholics, not drinking.

Open meetings
(anyone welcome, alcoholic or not)

These are likely to be a little more organized, a little more formal. Usually, two or three members (who have volunteered in advance) in turn tell the group about their alcoholism, what happened, and what their recovery is like.

An AA talk of this type does not have to follow any set pattern. Of course, only a tiny handful of AA members are trained orators. In fact even those AA's whose jobs involve professional speaking carefully avoid making speeches at AA meetings. Instead, they try to tell their own stories as simply and directly as possible.

What is unmistakable is the almost startling sincerity and honesty you hear. You'll probably be surprised to find yourself laughing a lot, and saying to yourself, 'Yes, that's just what it's like!"

One of the big benefits of attending such open meetings is the opportunity to hear a wide, wide variety of actual case histories of alcoholism. You hear the symptoms of the illness described in many varying forms, and that helps you decide whether you have it.

Naturally, each AA member's experiences have been different from the others'. It is possible that some time you’ll hear someone recall favorite drinks, drinking patterns, and drinking problems (or drinking fun) very much like your own. On the other hand, the incidents in the drinking stories you hear may be quite unlike yours. You will hear people of many different backgrounds, occupations, and beliefs. Each member speaks
only
for himself (or herself), and voices only his own opinions. No one can speak for all of AA, and no one has to agree with any sentiments or ideas expressed by any other AA member. Diversity of opinion is welcomed and valued in AA But if you listen carefully, you will probably recognize familiar feelings, if not familiar events. You will recognize the emotions of the speaker as having been much like your own, even if the life you hear about has been radically different from yours.

In AA, this is called "identifying with the speaker." It does not mean that the age, the sex, the life-style, the behavior, the pleasures, or the troubles of the speaker are identical to yours. But it does mean that you hear of fears, excitements, worries, and joys which you can empathize with, which you remember feeling at times yourself.

It may surprise you that you will almost never hear an AA speaker sound self-pitying about being deprived of alcohol.

Identifying with the speaker's past may not be as important as getting an impression of his or her present life. The speaker usually has found, or is reaching for, some contentment, peace of mind, solutions to problems, zest for living, and a kind of health of the spirit which you, too, want. If so, hang around. Those qualities are contagious in AA

Besides, the reminders you get of the miseries of active alcoholism can help extinguish any lurking desire to take a drink!

At meetings like this, many AA members have heard the very tips on recovery they were looking for. And almost all members leave such a meeting so refreshed and so encouraged in their recovery that the last thing on earth they want is a drink.

Closed discussion meetings
(only for alcoholics—or for people who are trying to find out whether they are alcoholics)

Some AA groups hold discussion meetings labeled "open," so anyone is welcome to attend. More often, such meetings are described as "closed," for members or prospective members only, so those who attend can feel free to discuss any topic that might trouble—or interest— any problem drinker.

These are confidential discussions.

A member who has volunteered in advance may lead off the meeting by telling briefly of his or her own alcoholism and recovery. The meeting is then open for general discussion.

Anyone troubled by a particular problem, no matter how painful or embarrassing, may air it at a discussion meeting and hear from others present their experiences at handling the same or a similar problem. And yes, experiences of happiness and joy are shared, too. One surely learns in such discussions that no alcoholic is unique or alone.