Livvy (16 page)

“Yes?”

“Miss Holland, one of your guests has arrived. It’s Mr. Reese.”

“Finn,” I say with a relieved sigh. “Can you bring him up?”

“Of course.”

“And anyone else, Francisco... I’m having about ten people over, and there should be food delivered soon.”

“Yes, miss.”

“Thank you.” I unlock my door, then hurry to the closet to find an outfit to wear. I had packed multiple options, but I had earlier planned on a more casual look. I want to dress up now.

“Liv?” Finn calls out to me. I hear the door shut after him.

“I’m not even ready yet,” I tell him loudly, peeking out from my closet.

“I thought you said seven.”

“It’s been a weird day, Finn. Can you answer the door and stuff while I get dressed and fix my hair and makeup?”

“Yeah. Where are the drinks?”

“Matty’s,” I say, closing the bathroom door after choosing a knee-length skirt and loose blouse. I change quickly, then wash my face. My hair looks surprisingly okay, so I just apply a little styling spray and run my fingers through it to mess it up a bit.

Hurriedly, I apply some powder, eye liner, mascara, blush and lipstick. I smile at my reflection as my sleeve slips off my shoulder, revealing part of my breast. I push it back up, frustrated.

“Finn!” I yell just before opening the door. Jon’s sitting on my bed across the room, flipping through a magazine.

“No,” he says, smiling, “but he let me in.”

“Oh, God, I didn’t even have a chance to warn him. Come here.”

“You look staggeringly beautiful.” He walks over quickly and gives me a hug.

“While your hands are back there, can you tie my shirt? If you don’t, you and everyone else will get an eye-full tonight.”

“I’ll do it for the sake of everyone else,” he says, turning me around and making a bow out of the strips of fabric. I watch him in the mirror. “That color brings out your blue streak,” he says, looking back at me in our reflection.

“I know.” From behind me, he puts his arms around my waist and kisses my cheek.

“Running late?”

“I was reading about Isaiah and I lost track of time.”

“Oh?”

“I couldn’t wait.”

“You found him?”

I nod quickly, removing his arms. “We can talk about it later. There’s this party thing happening, and I think I hear more people.”

“Right,” he agrees, following me into the main room of the loft. The people I heard were employees of a catering company my mom has hired before for events at their house. They work with purpose in the kitchen as if they own the place, setting up heated pans on one counter and cold appetizers on another.

“So, Finn,” I say, speaking to the only other guest present.

“Jon’s here,” he says, keeping his distance.

“Yeah, about that. Can we chat for a minute?”

“And then you want me to go?” he asks, looking offended.

“No,” Jon and I say at the same time. He continues. “Finn, I want to thank you for being there for Livvy when I wasn’t.”

“Oh. You’re welcome,” Finn says, surprised. “I–”

“Why’d you kiss her, though?”

Everyone in the room stops moving and I can hear the wind blowing quickly against the building as I wait for someone to say something.

“It’s just a question,” Jon encourages him to continue. “There’s not a wrong answer.”

“I don’t like her like that,” Finn responds, looking at me briefly as the caterers finish setting things up and exit the loft. I see Matty outside the door in the hallway, handing them a tip, just before the door closes. “It was just an instinctive thing. She looked up at me like... like girls do when they want to be kissed–”

“Finn,” I say, embarrassed. That’s not what I was wanting from him and he knows it.

“I mean, I know that’s not why Liv did it, but most girls. And so I took advantage of the situation. I kissed her. I wanted to make her feel better. I didn’t really know what else to do. And then she kissed me back, and what was I supposed to do, you know?”

Jon nods, accepting his answer.

“Anyway, I’m not really known for my listening skills,” he adds, making me chuckle. I look over at Jon. He takes a few steps toward Finn, extending his arm.

“No hard feelings?”

“You put her through hell–”

“Finn, come on,” I interrupt him. “Jon and I have talked a lot this afternoon.”

“And there’s a lot more to be said,” Jon adds. “I regret the way I treated her. I do, Finn, believe me. And I did call once.”

“Huh?” I ask him.

Jon turns around to face me. “I called you once to see if you were okay. You answered, but I heard Finn... and it was too soon for that. I hung up. But I wish I’d had the nerve to say something. I was spineless,” he goes on, looking back at my friend. “I was insensitive and cruel to her. And I’ve begun my apologies.”

I watch Finn, his jaw still taut as if he’s angry. “Finny, I’ve forgiven him,” I plead. “I hope you will try to as well.”

“What he did to you is so much worse than what I did.”

“I don’t think anyone would disagree with that. But I know he’s sorry. And I don’t think he’ll ever do anything like that again.”

“Never,” he vows, looking only at me.

“I know,” I whisper.

He walks back over and hugs me again, kissing the top of my head, as someone knocks at the door. Finn answers, and Jon sneaks in a kiss while his back is turned. He catches my hand in his when he pulls away, linking his pinky with mine.

Within a span of five minutes, all of my guests have arrived except for Emmanuel. I didn’t think he’d be here until later since he has friends in Manhattan he was planning to see. I’ve introduced my roommates to everyone, and tried to briefly explain what’s going on with me and Jon after seeing the curious looks on all their faces.

“We’re back together,” I had said simply. My cousins looked at me harshly. Katrina and Rachelle just looked confused. I knew I’d need to offer a better explanation to all of them, but decided I’d do it individually another day. I really hadn’t taken a single moment to prepare myself for any questions. I thought I’d be able to make it through everything with Jon at my side. I’m doing okay, I guess.

As Clara and Finn take my roommates across the hall for drinks, I take Jon by the hand and grab the key that Francisco had given me earlier. “We’ll be back in a few minutes,” I tell Lexi and Kyle as they pick at the food in the kitchen. I wave goodbye to the others that are chatting on the couch. “Just a sec,” I mouth to Jackie, the only one watching us.

“Where are we going?” Jon asks.

“I’m actually not sure. On the roof, I think.”

“Are you okay?” He helps me with the heavy metal door that’s hard to push against the wind. When the door opens, a gust of wind catches my shirt and I feel open air on my torso. Jon pulls the shirt down quickly. “There’s my eye-full,” he teases.

“Sorry.”

“No, no. Don’t apologize for me. Just don’t come up here with anyone else tonight.” I look up at him and smile, shaking my head. “Look,” he says in awe, still holding the hem of my shirt down as he walks toward a colorful waterfall. I replace his hand with my own and follow him.

Water streams down glass illuminated with blue and purple and white lights. The colors seem to dance as the water cascades into a shallow basin, and from there, another small waterfall flows into an even lower repository. There’s a penny lying in the bottom of it, as if someone’s already taken advantage of the first wish.

“Here,” Jon says, handing me a copper coin. “Looks like you could use one of those.”

I sit down on the edge and touch the tips of my fingers into the cold water. “I wish for clarity. I need help figuring out this Isaiah situation.” I push the coin into the water, watching it sink to the bottom.

“What did you find out?” Jon asks.

“He’s a sculptor in Hartford. Never married or had kids. None that he knows of anyway.”

“He’s still alive?”

“I can’t be certain. The article I read was about five years old. So Granna must have had more current information.”

“Do you want to find out?”

“I think so. Jon, he didn’t want kids when he was younger, but he said he now regrets not having them. And I think he was much older than my mother. Like fifteen years older.”

He nods. “Love knows no age.”

“I don’t know that they were even in love. But man, the theories I’ve got going on in my head. I mean... I can understand her not telling him if he never wanted kids. It makes sense... I guess.”

“Maybe,” he responds simply. “What can I do to help you get your mind off it tonight? It’s your birthday, and you should be enjoying it with your friends.”

“I know,” I say, standing up and looking around the rooftop more. Along the other three sides, soft lights are installed on the perimeter about a yard apart from each other. They point skyward, lighting the leaves of small trees planted in four-foot-tall wooden boxes. On the edge of the rooftop are flowers. They line every inch of the wall. Three separate seating areas could accommodate our entire party–plus some–but I don’t want anyone else up here right now.

“Liv,” he starts, his voice sounding far away as I continue walking around. “We should have had that conversation with Finn months ago. I feel so stupid and so responsible for all this time we’ve been apart.”

I frown, glancing over the side to the street below. “I know, Jon. We’ve both had regrets. We’re getting everything out in the open. We can leave some of the regrets behind, you know?”

“I feel like I have so many more apologies to make.”

“Didn’t you mention something about a party?” I say, trying to change the subject once more. “So many heavy topics.” I sigh, turning back around.

Putting my hands on his cheeks, I pull him to me and kiss him. He seems to relax, wrapping his arms around me and kissing me slowly. I move my hands to the back of his neck, tugging gently at the short hair that rests there. “I’ve missed you so much,” he says softly, nuzzling his face next to mine and placing his lips on my ear.

“So it’s true!” My mother’s voice startles me, just as the slam of the heavy door makes her jump.

“Mom!” Jon and I separate, old memories of getting caught in a tender moment rushing back. I’m eighteen today, though. She should be accepting of this. It’s still weird to me, though.

“It’s a little windy up here,” she says. “Good evening, Jon.”

“Hi, Emi.” He walks quickly to her, giving her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“It’s good to see you again,” I hear her say as I move closer. She hugs me next. “What’s going on?” she whispers in my ear.

I pull away and smile at her, then glance at Jon. “She asked what’s going on.”

“I came to see Liv today... to fix what I messed up.”

“So Matty has told me. He warned me that Livvy received a present that trumped the loft. I had to see for myself.”

“Where’s Daddy?”

“He’s downstairs. I told him I wanted a moment or two with you.” She looks up at Jon. “Alone, if you don’t mind,” she says warmly, patting him on the arm.

“Of course. I’ll go back down... if it’s safe.” I grab his hand, stopping him. He returns to me for one more kiss, then exits through the big door, careful not to let it slam behind him.

“What do you think of the rooftop?” She walks away from me, sitting on a canvas lounge chair that is positioned next to an identical one underneath a canopy tent. She motions for me to sit down next to her.

“It’s beautiful,” I admit to her. “I think I could paint up here on a less windy day. Although the sound of the breeze is very ambient and soothing.”

“It is,” she agrees. “Sweetie? I need to know what’s going on. How can things just be like they were between the two of you? You deserve better.”

“Mom,” I start, then stop, reflecting on the past few hours. Everything that has happened has been so monumental in my life, I don’t think I’ve given any of it the attention it deserves. Granna sends a letter, seemingly from the grave. In it, she tells me who my father is. Meanwhile, the love of my life (who also caused me the most pain in my life) walks back in... at an opportune time, to say the least. As I’d told him, it wouldn’t have been so easy to get through to me had I not been half-broken when he first saw me. Not only does he want me back, but he apologizes in such a way that leaves me no question of the extent of his remorse. “Where to begin...”

“Let’s start with Jon,” she suggests.

“It doesn’t actually start there, though. Mom?”

“Yes?”

“A lot has happened today, and I haven’t really thought anything through, so I want you to do three things for me. Be open minded, listen, and promise you won’t tell Dad.”

“Liv, you know how I feel about keeping secrets from him.”

“I found out who my biological father is today,” I say quickly, my eyes boring into hers so I can monitor them for the slightest change.

“What?” she whispers urgently. “Livvy, I didn’t know you were looking for him.” She covers her mouth, looking devastated.