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Authors: Cher Carson

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BOOK: Loaded
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Rachel wished she could say
the same. She had never had a place to call home, no roots or family to speak
of growing up, aside from her mother and sister. Her father was a long-haul
truck driver whose life was cut short when he fell asleep at the wheel. That
left her mother alone to care for two small girls, which meant she’d had to
work two jobs to put food on the table and keep a roof over their heads. Rachel
and her older sister took care of each other while their mother was at work, but
whenever the ominous-looking eviction notice appeared on the door, they knew it
was time to pack up and move on to a new town. At least once a year there was a
new school, new friends, and a new story so no one would know that they often
went to school hungry. She didn’t blame her mother; she did the best she could
under tough circumstances. She was a strong lady, a survivor, and she taught
Rachel to embrace hard work, which she did, often working twelve- or fourteen-hour
days to make a living. Life was often a struggle, Rachel accepted that. She
didn’t believe in pity parties, not when she could expend that energy on
finding a way to make her life better.

She glided her hand over the
dark polished wood of the door casement. “I love these old houses,” she
whispered. “There’s so much history. It makes you wonder who lived here before,
whether they had a family, if they were happy. Were these hallways filled with
love and laughter?” She blushed when she realized he was watching her intently.
“Sorry, I’m just being silly. You probably don’t think about things like that,
do you?”

He tucked a strand of hair
behind her ear. “Actually, I am interested in history. I’ve spent a lot of time
researching Brant, and this house specifically.”

“Really?” She wouldn’t have
pegged him for a history buff, but then she didn’t really know him at all,
which made the fact that she was even considering an intimate relationship with
him all the more outrageous. The one and only man she’d ever given herself to
brutalized, terrorized, and stalked her until she eventually had to run for her
life in the dead of night. She shivered at the memory. Just knowing he was out
there somewhere, possibly watching her now, waiting to make his move, made her
blood run cold.

“Hey, you okay?” He pulled
her into his arms. “Are you cold?”

She smiled up at him. He was
so strong, so handsome, the epitome of every woman’s fantasy and the kind of
man she’d never even allowed herself to dream she might find. “No, sorry, I
guess my mind was just wandering there for a minute.”

“Let me make that pot of
coffee I promised you.”

She shook her head. “You
don’t have to go to all that trouble.” She knew he invited her inside for a reason,
but suddenly she was having reservations. This was a big step for her and,
given her history, a potentially dangerous one.

“It’s no trouble.” He took
her by the hand and led her through the dining room into the kitchen. “This
will give us a chance to talk. I want to get to know you better.”

She withdrew her hand from
his. “Didn’t that background check tell you all you needed to know?” She’d done
her best to cover her tracks so her ex couldn’t find her, but she wasn’t a
professional, and she knew there was always room for error. There was no
telling what a seasoned cop might be able to uncover if he was willing to dig
deep enough.

“I’m not interested in what’s
printed on a piece of paper, Rachel. I want to know you, what makes you laugh,
what makes you cry, what you’re afraid of…” He let the kitchen door swing closed
behind them as he pulled her into his arms. He linked his hands behind her
waist. “I want to know your heart, what your hopes and dreams are, where you
see yourself in five or ten years.”

Wow, this big, burly cop with
a slow smile really was a romantic at heart. She wondered what loving a man
like Tucker Carlton would be like, probably all-consuming, which in her case
meant dangerous. She had a daughter to think about. She couldn’t afford to let
her guard down, not even for a second. She knew her ex, Glen, was just waiting
for her to make a mistake, then he would swoop in and make good on his promise
to slit her throat in her sleep.

That threat had been the last
straw. She knew couldn’t spend the rest of her life sleeping with one eye open,
so she ran, with the two people who meant more to her than anything.

Glen didn’t know about her
cousin, Dixie. He didn’t want her to have friends, so she kept her relationship
with Dixie a secret so she would still have a lifeline to the outside world when
she needed it.

“That’s asking a lot,” she
whispered.

She wished she could just sit
down with him over a cup of coffee at his kitchen table and tell him her life
story. It seemed so simple. She assumed most people had these conversations
when they were starting a new relationship, so it made sense that he would ask,
but for someone who’d always lived a life shrouded in darkness and secrecy,
Rachel wasn’t comfortable sharing. There was so much Tucker would never, could
never, know about her, and she knew that made a future with him impossible.

“We’ll take it slow.” He
grinned. “I’m not going anywhere, are you?”

Rachel knew she would have to
leave town eventually, when Glen finally tracked her down. She had rented the
vacant storefront space with the small amount of savings she’d tucked away when
she was massaging clients at a chiropractor’s clinic a block from the apartment
she shared with her ex. She snuck away for a few hours in the afternoon when he
was at work or getting drunk at the local pool hall. He didn’t even know she’d
earned her massage therapy accreditation. He’d never have approved. Glen didn’t
want her to work. Hell, he didn’t even want her to leave the house unless he was
by her side to keep an eye on her or, more importantly, to instigate a fight
with any man who might be stupid enough to look at her too long.

“I don’t know, Tucker.” She
flattened her palms against his chest and she could feel the steady beat of his
heart. “I can’t promise I’ll be in town all that long. Right now I’m just kind
of playing it by ear.”

He frowned. “But you started
a new business. I thought that implied you were ready to put down roots. Am I
wrong?”

She hadn’t been able to apply
for a job because that would require a social security number. She couldn’t
afford to leave a trail. Dixie offered to give her a job, but she knew if Glen found
out about her cousin, the bar would be the first place he’d look for her. She
didn’t want to put Dixie in harm’s way.

“The landlord is leasing the
unit to me on a month to month basis. The space has been vacant for a while
apparently, so he gave me a good deal. He didn’t even charge me first and last
month’s rent.”

“Yeah, Charlie Foley’s a good
guy.” Tucker smirked. “He also happens to be loaded since he sold his ranch to
some big developer, so he sure as hell doesn’t need the money.”

“Huh, I didn’t know that.”
She sighed. “Anyways, I told him I’d give it a few months, see what happens. He
said he was fine with that.”

Tucker frowned. “Doesn’t
really sound like enough time to get a business off the ground. I thought these
things usually take a year or more before they become profitable.”

If only she had time on her
side. “I’m doing my best to get the word out; hopefully I’ll start turning a
profit soon.” She’d already run out of money. Her mother’s pension checks covered
the rent on their two bedroom apartment, but if she didn’t start making some
money soon, she’d have to resort to plan B, which meant they’d have to use her
mother’s meager savings to leave Brant County. She’d already fallen in love
with the place and the people. She didn’t want to leave the first place she’d
ever felt at home. Having her own dance studio had always been her dream. Too
bad a woman couldn’t afford the luxury of dreams when her life was at stake.  

He brought her hand to his
lips. “I’ll have to see what I can do to help you with that.” He winked at her.
“It so happens that I have a bit of clout in this town.”

“You don’t have to do that.”
She raised her chin. “I’d rather succeed or fail on my own.”

He stroked her cheek as he
looked into her eyes. “If it means the difference between you staying and
leaving, you can bet I’m going to do everything in my power to give you reason
to stay.” He leaned in to kiss her. “I want to explore this thing between us,
don’t you?”

She did, more than she’d
wanted anything in a long time, but Tucker wasn’t some ordinary guy. He was a man
whose allegiance was to the law, and that meant he would never be able to
understand some of the choices she’d made. There would always be secrets
between them because of who she was and where she came from, and that was no
way to start a relationship. He deserved so much more, and he would undoubtedly
find it with one of the simple hometown girls who were lining up, hoping he
would take notice. She should walk away now, before things between them got any
more complicated.

She sighed. “I should
probably go.”

“Do you want to go?”

No. For once she wanted to
know what it felt like to have a real man make love to her instead of being
used as a pin cushion by a drunk who smelled like stale cigarettes and cheap
booze.

“Answer me, Rachel. If you
want to go, I won’t try to stop you, but I’d really like it if you’d stay, at
least for a little while. I meant what I said; I really want to get to know you
better. We could just talk for a while.”

She knew he was being
sincere. A man like Tucker would never take more than a woman was offering.
“Maybe I could stay for a bit.”

His heart-stopping smile
caught her off guard. He looked like he’d just won the lottery instead of being
awarded just a few more minutes of her time. No one had made her feel as though
her time was precious. No one, except for her mother and her dance instructor,
had ever believed she was special.

He brushed his lips against
hers. “Okay, grab a seat at the table while I make the coffee. We can take it
in to the family room, get comfortable, if you like?”

“Sounds good.” She
appreciated the fact that he wasn’t pressuring her about sex. She needed to
take this slow, to figure out if she really was ready to take the next step
with him.

She claimed a spot at the
mahogany table in the center of the room while he prepared the coffee. The
kitchen looked newly renovated, with granite countertops and stainless steel
appliances, but she noticed he kept many of the original features. The wide
plank flooring was obviously original, but it had been stained to a rich, dark
brown, as had the wide moldings accenting the windows, doors, and walls. It was
so homey, yet with all of the modern conveniences.

“This is a lot of house for
one person.” She propped her chin in her hand and watched him. It was nice to
be able to observe him on his turf, where he was completely relaxed. Instead of
the stiff black uniform and polished boots he usually favored, the faded jeans
and t-shirt made him seem like a regular civilian, if not for the gun strapped
to his waist.

“I know, but I bought it with
the future in mind.” He turned around to face her as he braced his hands on the
counter behind him. “My mama is after me about grandkids. You never know, she
might get ‘em one day.” He winked. “But I’m in no hurry to be a daddy.”

Her heart fell when she realized
that was yet another obstacle between them. They were rising higher by the
minute. “You don’t like kids?”

He shrugged. “Sure, other
people’s kids. I’m like the cool uncle.” He grinned. “I like it that way. I
have to admit, I’m pretty set in my ways.” He tipped his head to the side as
though he sensed the change in her mood. “How about you? Do you like kids?”

How could she answer that
question without lying or tipping him off? “Sure, I love kids.”

“Are you an auntie?”

She shook her head as she
glanced down at the distressed wood table. “Um no, my only sister died about ten
years ago.”

“Shit, I’m sorry. I had no
idea.”

If he didn’t know about
Madeline, then chances were good the rest of her secrets were safe, too. “It
was a long time ago, but it still hurts.” She cleared her throat. “We were
close, until…”

He claimed the chair across
from her before taking her hand. “Until?”

“She got into drugs. That’s
how she died, an overdose.”

“I’m sorry, honey. I’ve seen
firsthand what that shit can do to people. It takes good, decent people and
turns them into a shell of their former selves. That’s why it’s so important
for me to go into the schools and talk to kids about the effects of drugs. If I
can make an impact on just one kid, then I’ve done my job.”

She smiled. He was so easy to
talk to, such a good listener. She had never told anyone about her sister’s
death. She just assumed people would write Maddie off as another junkie who
wasted her life chasing the next high. What most people didn’t seem to
understand was that every junkie was someone’s sibling or child or friend. They
had hopes and dreams, like everyone else, before the drugs took over their
lives. Tucker seemed to get that.

“It’s nice that you go into
schools to talk to the kids. I can’t imagine drugs being a huge problem in a
place like Brant though?”

BOOK: Loaded
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