Log 1 Matter | Antimatter (41 page)

“You are deserving of so much more.”

“More than a First-Gen like Caleb? More than
a warm home and loving family? More than rewarding work and a
satisfying life?”

“You could have had a warm and loving
Pure-Gen family in a castle with pomp and ceremony. You have many
interested Pure-Gen Virgo suitors.” He seemed to work to keep his
voice controlled. “You shouldn’t have even been working where you
are, but the Pure-Gens had no alternative. And we aren’t set up for
Pure-Gens anymore, certainly not for one left on her own.”

She didn’t want that reminder. Her face
crumpled then. “Don’t you want me for an apprentice? It’s still
over thirty years … um … before you want anyone.”

He leaned to her and took her hand. “Yes,
Ara. I do. You can actually do this apprenticeship and be a queen
you know. It will extend your apprenticeship out by fifty years
though.”

“Oh.” She didn’t like that idea.

“I’ve had my reasons to delay. But you will
be a good apprentice. My first. We will both have a lot to learn
but I promise you it will be good for the both of us.”

Her friends had a few unkind words to say
about Kavela—that he didn’t want to share the glory—but she was
sure he had good reasons. Happier now, she asked, “Kavela, about my
Virgo—”

“Ara?”

“Yes?” She faltered a little as she grew
weary.

“I am too old.”

“Then Caleb it is.” She tried to keep her
voice light.

“No!”

She was shocked. “Why?”

“There is a reason Pure-Gens stick with their
own race, and there is the issue of Pure-Gen Matter, but more
importantly it is the matter of Pure-Gen Energy.” He grinned at his
play on words but quickly resumed being serious. “There is some
danger in Virgo with mixed races.”

“Like what? I’ll squash Caleb under me?”

Kavela was struggling not to laugh but gave
in, but he also noted her sudden panic. He sighed. “Has Queen
Silvia not spoken to you of this?”

“No. We don’t talk about Virgo, and I am
rarely there. I’m rarely on Saratoga anymore. I live on the Wilds
planet mostly.” Either he wasn’t getting the CU data updates on her
or he just didn’t care.

He cursed, surprising her, before flashing
her a smile and then held up their clasped hands. “It is not the
same for the Three Pleasures.” He pretended not to see her blush.
“Pure-Gens can soothe each other, and, believe it or not, this is
as important at a Virgo as stimulation.”

“Ah. But the Adonis is requested for Pure-Gen
Virgos.”

“Is that who you want?”

He watched with some amusement as she
struggled to answer that.

“I haven’t given it much thought outside of
you and Caleb. My family said they’d scope out some options. Tara
is rather keen on a Pure-Gen from the Planet of Law.”

He couldn’t help it as laughter rose from
inside him and burst out into the empty observation room. She took
his laughter well enough, seeing he was genuinely amused. “The
Adonis is a good choice; some Inferors have the ability to achieve
the same levels required in Virgo. He is one of them.”

Ara’s eyes widened as she saw Kavela actually
liked Karu.

Kavela swore and said quickly, “I’m sorry,
Ara. I … that was inexcusable.” His heart was pounding. How could
he be so stupid as to reveal his inner most turmoil while holding
her hand?

Ara cut off their connection as it was rude
not to. Kavela was distraught and the rules dictated she cut off
the link. Queen Silvia had told her about that rule as well as some
other useful information she may need as she came into contact with
more Pure-Gens. She considered what Kavela said though, as he tried
to recover. Karu liked females, well, before seeing Jesran. Balin
last told her they were dancing around each other like some
tragicomedy. Funny to them, but not to Karu and Jesran.

“Well, we both revealed something today. And
I guess I don’t feel so rejected now.” She stared into his eyes for
a moment and squeezed his hand, wondering if she should tell him
about Jesran. No, she decided, Karu was still faithful to his
female Adonis magnetism. “I should put it behind me.”

“Have you and Caleb tried to experiment?”

Tried? She almost laughed at him as he tried
to soften his personal query but confessed to him instead. “Kavela,
it was a long time ago. Let’s see, no, not try. Did. We still did
other things like … um … Al’kalay and the other two.” She screwed
up her face and saw his amusement.

“Did you not like something, was he too
pushy?”

“No! He wasn’t pushy.” She accidently
showed
him the time he was on her after he fell.

“Ah. It’s called ‘pressing’.” He smiled. “Ara
… the Three Pleasures should have been registered. But the
pressing, that too was a breach.” He squeezed her hand then. “Don’t
look so worried. You could have easily stopped him. All young ones
get up to mischief. I would have had I the opportunity.” Her mouth
opened as she burned with curiosity and he laughed. “Not today.
Enough secret sharing.”

Yes, she decided not to tell him about the
whole gagging hot chocolate, allergic reaction, and Caleb’s and her
interlude. She was pretty sure she wasn’t a virgin anymore but the
experience had been more than a physical connection. They had
ridden that magic for some time, but the daily reminders eventually
brought them back to their broken ways. Ara knew it was mostly her
inability to forgive him, and she couldn’t even talk to Meg
anymore.

“Well, I’ve been ‘dry’ for over seventy years
now. Does that count?”

Ara suddenly remembered a comment Tara had
made about her age fluctuating. And then there were times, to Ara,
when time seemed fast and other times slow. Were they linked? Were
her memory engrams affected somehow by the strange time distortion?
More of a time perception distortion.

Queen Silvia’s Palace

Returning to the queen’s estates, they
attended an evening of bathing with Silvia and Jon. It was an
outside steam pool overlooking the valley and there was a stone
bridge connecting the palace. There were four stone pillars holding
the slated roof. Jon’s blond hair was plastered to his face as he
had ducked under the water. His blue eyes twinkled in his brown
face. Silvia asked her, “Did you have a good time today?”

“Yes, thank you. We even talked of my Virgo
but never finished the conversation.” She kept her tone neutral but
they all knew her too well.

“I was going to speak to you.” Silvia
accepted a goblet from a tray Jon offered her. Jon leaned over and
Kavela took off two other goblets. He handed one to Ara.

“What happens when a Pure-Gen mates with a
different race?” she asked first.

“You would have to hold back and that’s not
recommended. You are rated with higher matter and energy units,
your energy is very strong though, and your abilities latent. You
could potentially damage a lesser race or ruin your experience. The
Virgo for Pure-Gens teaches you control as well so that if you mate
with a lesser race you do not hurt them.”

“Oh. But … Tricia’s—” She flushed as she
looked at Jon, realizing he was lesser in matter and energy than
Silvia.

“She had a higher race teaching her.” Silvia
smiled at her kindly.

Ara was confused, not because her family had
been lax, but because Ara didn’t often listen to things she wasn’t
interested in. She seemed to recall Pen often talking about
something to do with Virgo and control. Sacha had been glued to the
lectures while—what had she been doing? Thinking about the next
climb, the next robot, the next riveting episode with Trickster.
Anything but listen to the conversations that probably applied more
to her than her sibling.

Jon lifted his goblet. “And once mated for a
while, a lesser race becomes inured to the greater being.”

Silvia’s eyes twinkled. “He means enamored
enough to handle more.”

Jon rolled his eyes.

“I see.” Ara was trying not to chuckle. She
looked at Kavela. “You said soothing was important in the Virgo. I
don’t understand.”

He put down his goblet and held out his hand.
She frowned and gave him her goblet. He laughed with Silvia and
Jon. “Your arm, please.”

Kavela kept smiling at her until she returned
a smile. He kept hold of her hand with one hand and ran his other
along her arm. He connected to her mind, and energy.
“Pleasure.”

Her eyes were heavy lidded and her lips
parted. Her breathing had increased.

“Soothing.” He slid his hand in the reverse
direction.

Her eyes widened as the pleasure receded.

He said quietly. “Many feel agitated,
particularly Pure-Gens, and the Virgo partner must be able to
detect it, soothe without killing passion. Like this.”

He ran his hand up and then down, but this
time there was both lust and soothing. He called on his years of
control to keep it at her level.

“You try, Ara.” He smiled as she took hold of
his arm.

She wasn’t completely successful in soothing
but that was the way of those inexperienced and it made her more
aware of the damage she might do. Poor Caleb! “And I’ll learn that
during the Virgo?”

“Yes. It’s not just a sexual act for
Pure-Gens but a rite of passage carefully structured and delivered
with training. Your minds will link and you each learn through the
other. It’s extremely intimate, which is why your chosen partner
must be someone you trust.”

Ara was overthinking the process but she
couldn’t help it. “I didn’t really think it was so …
technical.”

Kavela burst out laughing again and she dug
her elbow in his side. As Silvia and Jon were talking quietly, she
turned to him. “Kavela, will you be my Virgo partner?”

That caught him by surprise after thinking
he’d put her off no doubt, and the longer he hesitated the more
humiliated she was.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to—”

“Ara, I am to be your Doyen. I don’t think it
is appropriate for me to be your partner in Virgo.”

Ara felt some relief hearing his reason but
was still bothered that he refused. “I didn’t think about
that.”

“I would recommend Karu, but a Pure-Gen
first.”

She was unhappy with that. “What about
Balin?” Seeing his expression of disapproval, Ara sunk lower into
the tub, annoyed and wondering if Korbet might agree.

“Tell me what you are thinking?” Kavela asked
her, gently feeling her distress. By now, Silvia and Jon were
listening.

She rose again and looked down at the water
steaming, her wet hair dripping water over her shoulders. “I see
energy like you. I’m worried I won’t be able to control myself at
Virgo. Would you say I am stronger than Karu?” Had she been in
control with Caleb all those years ago?

“Yes.”

“Then I may have to postpone my own Virgo
until I learn control or find someone stronger. I had not realized
it was so dangerous. Caleb said I had the ability to stop him from
pressing me, but in a moment of passion what might I do?”

Silvia’s eyes widened but she did not
interrupt.

And her comment seemed to confuse him.
“Weren’t you caught up with Caleb?”

“What? Oh, that…” Her voice almost squeaked
avoiding their long lovemaking session on the mountain. “There were
rocks in my back and leg, I was uncomfortable but I let Caleb
override me.” Because she couldn’t forgive Caleb and Meg, maybe
that had acted as a buffer of sorts on the mountain top. It allowed
her to sub-consciously control passion. Kavela met Silvia’s
outraged eyes.

“It was a little while ago, Silvia. A
younglings’ tryst.”

“Except Caleb had his Virgo already and
should have known better.”

Jon patted Silvia’s head and received the
“look”.

Ara chewed her finger. Good thing she didn’t
mention the resort cabin. She ran a quick calculation. “It was a
hundred years ago!” Again, she was aware her perceptions were
skewed.

“Kavela”—Silvia smiled encouragingly—“maybe
you should consider it. We can talk about it later?”

He nodded and Ara smiled gratefully. She had
never considered she might actually hurt someone, and now she was
genuinely worried. That wasn’t a good way to go into Virgo. She
worried he would refuse anyway.

The next day both Silvia and Jon walked with
her down the cool corridors to the palace’s terminus. This time she
was allowed to return to Wilds using the personal transportals.

“Try not to worry, Ara.” Jon hugged her after
Silvia did.

She smiled at them both and when the guard
nodded the portal was ready, she stepped into the swirls.

Iota

Station: Kovac

Galactic System: The Eye

Planetary System: Wilds

Ara’s Home

Again, Ara was grateful to get home to Wilds.
The way she was treated on Saratoga annoyed her, to Pure-Gens she
was a child, to the Eighth Race she was equal. She felt more at
home in the muck and hard work than the pomp and ceremony. She
loved her work. She was seriously considering applying to
apprentice under Habitat Management. They were keen on her too and
began some preliminary applications. Tara was waiting for her by
the terminal’s main desk, talking to one of the administrators, and
smiled when she stepped through.

Tara drove them home firing questions about
Ara’s visit.

She and Tara had found a new hobby. They
created ladybird robots—after Ara remembered one had landed on her
boot at the Saratoga Wildlife Park and wouldn’t be dislodged, to
Tara’s annoyance—that would allow them to fly messages around to
each other. To ensure no one else could access them, they used the
energy of the Strike. Ara loved those times, giggling over their
secret, bringing them even closer together. Tara held their first
success in the palm of her slender hand. It was a quarter of the
size of her palm.