Logan's Story: A Sand & Clay Prequel (7 page)

“You know I always work Wednesdays.”  Logan rolled his eyes and turned back to look at him, crossing his arms over his broad chest. Dylan looked down and kicked at the ground, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Would have thought you would of quit this place by now, or been home practicing for tomorrow.” Dylan said, clearly uncomfortable.

“It’s not a sure thing, Dylan.  It’s basically like an audition.”  Logan sighed, feeling guilty again.

“Believe me, it’s a sure thing. They would be idiots to pass you by.”  Dylan smiled at Logan, who softened his stance a little at the compliment.

“Thanks, man. That means a lot.” Logan replied.

“No worries.” Dylan said, looking down at the ground again. That was it, they were friends again.  They had never needed more than that, because those few words were the apology and the forgiveness that they both needed.  

“Want to come over for dinner?  Dad said he was grilling tonight, I can just have him throw on an extra burger.”  Logan asked Dylan.

“Sure, I’m starving. Plus I took the bus here, so I could use the ride.” Dylan grinned and walked around to the passenger side of the car.  Logan just laughed.  

“Ah, so the real reason for the surprise visit comes out.” He teased him.

“You got me.” Dylan laughed loudly, straight from his belly with his face almost turning red at the exertion.  Logan shook his head at him across the roof of the car and then both men got in and buckled up.  Logan opened up the middle console and grabbed for his cell phone which he normally left in his car since he wasn’t supposed to have it with him at work.  

“Shit!” Logan sat up straight as he stared at the screen on his phone.  Dylan turned to him, waiting for an explanation with a concerned look on his face.  

“My dad’s called me like one, two, three... nine times today!” Logan said, counting the missed calls.  

“Fuck, that’s not good. Call him back now before we start driving, dude.”  Dylan urged, knowing all about Logan’s mother and her health issues.  Logan was already dialing and then quickly held the phone up to his ear, waiting for the call to go through.

“Hello?”
 

“Dad, I just got out and saw a bunch of missed calls. What happened?”

“Your mother, Logan, her kidney is failing again.  Come to Summit Memorial Hospital as soon as you can. I don’t know what is happening yet, they are doing transfusions every hour right now and running a whole fuck load of tests.”
 

“I’m coming now, don’t worry.  I’ll be there in fifteen minutes, okay?

“Hurry, Logan.”
 

The line went dead and Logan looked at Dylan who had heard everything.  His eyes were wide and the fear on his face matched Logan’s.  

“Well, what are you waiting for? Go to Summit.  Now!”  Dylan said as he saw Logan contemplating what to do.  

“You sure you want to come with me?”  Logan said, pushing his phone into his pocket.  

“Drive.” Dylan said firmly.

CHAPTER NINE

“Fuck me, every damn hallway looks the same.”  Logan rubbed his hand over his brow, attempting to calm himself.

“All hospitals are like that, man.  Let’s just find the nurse’s station and ask them.  There is usually one on each floor, isn’t there?”  Dylan pointed back toward the direction they had just come from.  Logan nodded and followed his friend, his mind was still whirling from the phone call with his father.

“Look, there it is!” Dylan headed straight toward a nurse’s station after a few more hallways and turns.  

“Laura Clay.  I’m trying to find the room of Laura Clay? Do you know where I am supposed to go?” Logan’s words spilled out so fast that they almost ran together.  

“Uh, let me take a look.”  The nurse looked at him curiously and then sat down in front of a computer and typed a few words in.  

“Room 207, hun.  That’s right down this hallway and to the left.”  The nurse told him after two minutes of Logan tapping his thumbs on the counter and shifting weight from one leg to the other.  

“Thank you!” Logan shouted back at her, already halfway down the hallway with Dylan close at his heels. Both men came to a screeching halt in front of Laura’s room and stared at the curtain pulled across the door.  Logan looked at Dylan and Dylan just nodded and gestured to the room, encouraging him to go in while he waited outside. Logan nodded, taking a deep breath, and pulled aside the curtain just enough to slip through.  

“Son.”  Mickey nodded toward him and put his index finger to his mouth, indicating for Logan to stay quiet.  His mother was in the hospital bed, sleeping.  She was much paler than when he has last seen her before she went to bed last night and her hair was pulled back tightly into a braid.  There were tubes and needles in both of her arms hooked up to large dialysis machines that had beeping electronic screens, and two circular pathways of tubing in the middle where the blood was moved through.  She had other types of monitoring patches and clips on her finger and chest as well as a nasal tube pushing oxygen into her lungs.  

Laura had had quite a few hospital visits since the accident but this was by far the worst she had ever looked. Her kidney had been damaged in the accident and now her remaining kidney was weakening, so she had been on dialysis twice a week for over a year now. Logan felt his breath catch as the flicker of images from that first night in the hospital flashed through his mind.  He had been so afraid that he was going to lose his mother and he was only five years old.  Now here he was, a grown man in every sense of the word, still just as afraid.  

“What happened?”  Logan whispered to his father, stepping up next him, shoulder to shoulder.  

“Her good kidney is failing.  She passed out and I couldn’t wake her so I rushed her here.”  Mickey sighed and shook his head.

“I’ve taken her to dialysis twice a week for over a year and they said that would help, but look.”  He gestured to the hospital bed and hung his head in defeat.  Logan put his hand on his father’s shoulder, probably one of the most affectionate gestures the two men had ever shared.  

“Did the doctors give any sort of plan? What are they going to do?” Logan asked in a hushed tone after a minute of silence passed between them. Mickey shrugged unenthusiastically.  

“What can they do? She has no kidneys now.  At least none that are working. That damn machine is her kidney.”  Mickey pointed to the dialysis machine, a flash of anger crossing his face.

“So, are we looking at a transplant this time?”  Logan knew that doctors had always said that would probably become a reality one day but they had spent years trying to prevent that.  

“They put her on the list an hour ago.”  Mickey nodded his head and looked at Logan, catching his eyes.

“Logan, she is so far down the list.  The machine can keep her alive so they don’t consider it urgent enough yet to move her to the top, or even very close to the top.  At least not close enough for me.”  Mickey began to ramble slightly until Logan cut him off.

“What do you mean?  She has to stay hooked up to that machine permanently?  Live her life in this shitty hospital room?” Logan’s voice was now raised and Mickey glared at his son for the increase in volume.

“It’s not the worst thing, Logan.” Laura said softly from the hospital bed, causing both men to spin around to look at her.  Neither had realized she had awakened and they both glanced at one another, unsure of how much of their conversation Laura had heard.

“Mom!” Logan quickly reached the side of her bed and pulled a chair over to sit on so that he was more level with her. He cupped her small hand between his, leaning in and kissing her very gingerly on the cheek.  

“How are you feeling?” He asked her, worry dripping from every word. Mickey rounded to the other side of her bed and gently brushed a few small hairs off her forehead.  

“I’m fine, Logan.  Just decided to take a vacation.”  Laura let out a little chuckle, but quickly wheezed at the exertion.  Logan attempted a smile at her joke, knowing she was trying to ease his fears. She never wanted anyone to worry about her, which was ironic since her health concerns made that impossible.  

“Aren’t you supposed to be getting ready to head to New York? You have that big audition in the morning.”  She said to him, gently brushing the tips of her finger against his cheek lovingly.

“Mom, don’t worry about that.  I’m not going.” Logan said, leaning against the bed and propping himself up on his elbows. Mickey looked down at his son, his eyebrows pushed together.

“What do you mean you’re not going, Logan?” He said.

“Logan, you have to go. I’ve been looking forward to hearing you tell me that they are going to give you a record deal and make you famous.”  Laura looked concerned even as she smiled at him.

“Mom, none of that matters when you’re sick.  I need to be here.  Plus there is no guarantee that the audition will even lead to anything. You need me here.” Logan said firmly, crossing his arms over his chest, daring them to argue with him.  

“Years of lessons and practice and you’re just not going to show up for the biggest day of your life? Because you want to help out here? You are our son, we should be helping you. It shouldn’t fucking be the other way around, damn it!” Mickey’s voice was almost at a shout and tears were brimming his eyes, threatening to spill.  

Laura turned to her husband and placed a hand on his forearm, patting him gently to comfort him.  Logan’s jaw dropped and his hands fell to his lap. In his entire life, he had never once seen a tear in his father’s eye.  Not even when his mother first had the car accident. He was always composed, a man of few words.  He grumbled and cussed, but he didn’t yell or ever get emotional.  

Mickey rubbed his temples with his hands and stormed out of the room leaving Logan with his mother.  Logan turned back to his mother with a stunned look on his face and yet she didn’t seem surprised at all, only sad. Logan sat back in his chair and exhaled slowly, looking up at his mother again for some sort of sign about what to do.

“You said I needed you here, Logan. Well, that’s not what I really need right now.”  Laura said softly to him, her voice a bit shaky.

“What do you need, Mom?  Anything.” He promised her, leaning forward again with his elbows on his knees.

“I need my son to live his dreams.  I need my husband to know that he is a wonderful father.  I need my son to take one day out of his whole life, and do something for himself.  

I don’t want to be a burden. Your father doesn’t want to hold you back, he doesn’t want to have to depend on you.  Even though we do, because there isn’t another option right now.”  His mother coaxed him softly as he soaked in her words, wondering if maybe he had made his father feel powerless by accidentally usurping his role as head of the household.    

“Most of all, Logan, I want you to be happy.  That’s what I need.”  She concluded, her eyes pleading with him.

“Mom, I am happy.  I love being with you guys.  Nothing makes me happier than being here with you.”  Logan comforted her.

“That’s not true and you know it. You’re not happy loading boxes in a warehouse and then coming home and taking care of me for the rest of your life.  That look you get on your face when you play your music, its heaven.  I need that.  I need to see that look on your face. Logan, I need you to do this. For me?”  She spoke with such conviction that Logan knew he couldn’t deny his mother this request, so he nodded simply and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek.  

“I’ll only be gone one day and then I am coming right back. You are not staying in this hospital room.  God, it’s like a dusty old closet in here. There isn’t even a window. We are finding you that transplant.”  Logan said to her.  

“Alright, son.”  She just smiled at him, glad to have convinced him to go.

“I’m going to go find Dad.” Logan said, standing up and heading toward the curtain enclosing the room.

“Logan?” She called out to him suddenly.

“Yeah?” He turned slightly to look at her.

“He loves you so much.” It was such a simple statement, but it said everything to Logan that he had always wanted to hear.   

~*~*~*~*~*~

Logan exited his mother’s hospital room and headed down the hallway to the waiting room that he and Dylan had passed on their way in.  He figured that Dylan had probably run into his father and they had gathered there. He felt a vibrating in his pocket and pulled out his phone, relief washing over him when he saw Gina’s name light up the screen.  He missed her. The thought caught him completely off guard, but it wasn’t frightening anymore. It was exciting, he missed Gina.

Hi, handsome. Coming over tonight?
 

Mom’s sick. At Summit Memorial.  Headed home to pack in a few.

Is she okay? Do you need anything?
 

Long story. I’m good.

Logan, what do you need?
 

Come to NY w me.

Packing now.
Logan grinned at his phone, feeling relieved that he would have her joining him on his trip. He loved that she could see right through his choppy messages and know that he needed something.  In fact, he hadn’t even thought about taking someone with him to New York until she asked him a second time what he needed.  It suddenly became very clear to him.  He needed her.

“How’s your mom, dude?” A familiar voice said as Logan rounded the corner into the waiting room and looked up from his phone. He stopped mid-stride and his jaw dropped for the second time that day.

“You ok?” Charlie said again, the familiar voice identified. Logan pressed his lips together tightly and looked around the room. Charlie was standing next to him and Rock and Dylan were getting up out of their chairs and walking over to him. Logan didn’t know what to say, he was speechless and he hung his head, shaking it slightly.

“Aw, we made the baby cry.” Rock teased with a small jab to his shoulder. Dylan burst out laughing and patted Logan on the shoulder.