Long Road Home (28 page)

But instead, he lifted his head and looked down at her for what seemed like forever. The teasing smile had left his lips and his eyes turned sober. Not wounded sober, the way they’d been when he’d told her about the deaths and visiting his dead teammates’ families, but serious.

She’d seen him look that way before, she realized with a flash of memory. The day she’d walked into their classroom late. The day she’d learned that her mother had gone away for good. They were the eyes of a boy back then, but they’d been both caring and careful. As if he’d been afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing.

“I don’t want you to think I’m just in this for the sex.”

“I don’t.” If he’d only been interested in sex, they probably shared around fifteen years of backstory when he could have had it. As much and as often as he’d wanted.

“So, okay. Now that we’ve got that clarified, you up for the quickie part now?”

The laugh that exploded out of her surprised Austin. And from the grin that had replaced his grave expression, she knew it had him, as well.

She rolled over on top of him, shoved her hands beneath his Jaspar Lepak
Music in the Mountains
festival shirt, and spread her fingers across his magnificently cut chest. “Giddy up, cowboy.”

*

“
D
O YOU THINK
this is all too easy?” Austin asked a few minutes later as she re-buttoned her shirt.

“Is what too easy?” Sawyer asked, causing a tinge of remorse as he zipped up his jeans.

“You. Me.” She waved a hand toward the bed. “This.”

“Would you prefer for it to be difficult and complicated?”

“No, of course not. But with all that’s happening—”

“All the better that something in our life is going smoothly.” He ran his knuckles down the side of her face in the way he might do to gentle a nervous mare. “If it feels easy, it’s because it’s right. It’s what’s been missing for me with any other woman.”

“Me, too,” she admitted, covering his hand with hers. “With other men. Including my ex.” Especially Jace. “They were never you.”

“Well, then, we’ve nothing to worry about.”

And didn’t she wish that were true? But Austin had lived in volcano/earthquake country all of her life and knew that there were always faults and fissures lying beneath the most seemingly tranquil landscape.

“I keep forgetting to tell you that I love that way you smell,” Sawyer said.

“It’s body soap, lotion, and shampoo,” she sat down on the bed and pulled her boots back on. “Lexi made it last winter when seemingly everything in my life was falling apart and I couldn’t afford the time or money to escape to some tropical island. So she said this would bring the island to me.”

“I’ll have to thank her for that. Although if I ever start belting out the piña colada song while making love to you, it’s on her.”

Austin laughed again, amazed she could find any humor in anything this week. “You really do make me happy.”

“Good.” His smile was slow and warm, wrapping around her like one of Heather’s quilts. “Because that’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. So, now that we’ve taken the edge off, so to speak, how was your meeting with the lemon-sucking Ms. Grim?”

“I’m not entirely sure. I couldn’t get a read on her.”

“Yeah. Like I said, that’s her power/control thing.”

“She did ask about us.”

“What about us?”

“It was a strange conversation, but mainly, I think she wanted to know if we were going to have mad, ripping-clothes-off sex in front of the children.”

“Did you tell her we’d never do that?”

“Yes. And that it wasn’t any of her business.”

“Good for you.”

“She also did the same thing to me she did with you. Her last question was whether or not I’d witnessed you exhibit any signs of PTSD. And whether I thought Jack and Sophie would be safe with you.”

His smile, which had broadened across his handsome face when she’d told him how she’d stood up to Ms. Grim’s sex interrogation, faded. “And what did you say?”

“No.” She stood up and wrapped her arms around his neck. “And positively, absolutely yes.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” He pulled her closer. Then gave her another of those devastating kisses that threatened to have her melting into a puddle of lust onto the heart-of-pine floor.

“I have to leave,” she murmured.

“I know.” He cupped her jaw in his fingers, tilting her head, fitting his mouth even more perfectly onto hers. “Just one more minute.”

“Just one,” she said as their breaths mingled and she could feel his erection against her. Denim, she was discovering, was no insulator against heat.

The kiss was slow. Sweet. Warm.

Someone whimpered. And someone’s hand—it must be hers, but she couldn’t remember it moving—was cupping the back of his neck. “Maybe two minutes.”

The second kiss was long and lingering, and this time as she seemed to float off the floor, the sound she swore she heard was that of angels singing.

The thought of those angels was all it took to have her come plummeting down to earth with a crash.

Knowing her well, Sawyer sensed the change immediately.

“It’s okay to be happy,” he reminded her.

“It’s hard,” she admitted.

He smoothed a hand down her back. “I know.”

And he did. Worlds more than she ever would.

“I’ve really got to go.”

“And I’ve got some stuff to do.”

“Ranch stuff?”

“Sort of. I had an idea about the rest of the day and evening.”

“Oh?” They’d agreed against having any funeral home visitation because it would be one more event Jack and Sophie would have to be put through.

“How about we just treat the rest of today like a holiday?”

“A holiday?” She looked at him as if he’d suggested they both strip off all their clothes and go streaking down Front Street at high noon.

“Not a celebration-type thing,” he assured her. “But a family thing. Have a nice, slow afternoon centered around the kids enjoying themselves. Maybe go pick out those trees Father Cassidy talked about at The Plant Place, take a ride along the river, play some games, get a few people—you, me, the kids, Winema and Buck, Rachel, Cooper, and Scott, Ryan and Layla, my folks and grandparents, and Lexi—together for a barbecue. I already bought a couple steaks I was planning to grill for a romantic dinner with you—”

“Wait.” She held up a hand. “You were going to cook? For me?”

“Yeah. That’s what the green stuff in the fridge is. Rachel gave me some recipes she figured even I could pull off. But we can do that anytime. I figured while you’re picking up the kids, I’d go raid the Bar M meat locker for some ribs and steaks and burgers, and maybe a hot dog or two if Jack would rather have those than a burger. You and Sophie might want to make a pie or cookies or something, and we manly men will, of course, take care of the grilling.”

“I can grill,” she said. “Despite all the male-oriented marketing campaigns that suggest otherwise, it doesn’t take testosterone to char a mountain of red meat.”

“I’ve not a single doubt you could do anything you put your mind to,” he said easily. “But a little male bonding will be good for Jack. And Buck.”

She hadn’t thought of that. “You want to help Dad get his cowboy back on.”

“It was just a thought.”

“A wonderful one.” She went up on her toes and, even knowing she was risking another delay, kissed him. “I’ll see you later. Maybe you guys can work with Jack’s roping while Winema, Sophie, and I start baking. I’m behind on things for the New Chance anyway. Rachel’s been wonderfully patient, but since I’m making pies, I might as well make a bunch.”

“If you need a taster, just shout.”

“I will.” She paused, the words
I love you
on the tip of her tongue. But those three words were too important to say as she was going out the door.

After the funeral, she decided as she drove out to Rachel and Cooper’s place. Once they got all this behind them.

32

S
AWYER HAD BEEN
right. The day, which could have been wretchedly awful, turned out not to be that way at all.

Oh, Austin would’ve been happier if Sophie hadn’t insisted on Madison joining them. The girl had shown up in those same Daisy Dukes, a gauzy, off-the-shoulder ivory top thin enough to show the shadow of the black bra she was wearing beneath it, and another pair of those tasseled boots, this one with, heaven forbid, rhinestones on them.

The girl had resisted when Austin suggested she’d be happier riding in a pair of jeans. Ten minutes of her inner thighs rubbing painfully against the leather saddle, which was exactly what Austin had warned her about, she’d begun to whine. After five minutes of nonstop complaining, Austin, Madison and Sophie were on their way back to the house.

“You could borrow a pair of mine,” Sophie suggested.

Madison swept a look over her supposed best friend. “Thanks, but they’d bag like clown pants on me. I wear a juniors size one. You’re probably a five. Maybe I’ll just go out and work on my tan.”

Good idea, Austin thought. Before she said something she really shouldn’t.

“Would you like to go work on your tan with Madison?” she asked Sophie.
Dear Lord
,
please let her say no
!

“Tanning’s boring. And besides, I sunburn too easily.” Yes! There was a God!

“You can help me make some pies. I thought I’d make two for dinner, and some more to freeze for Rachel to put on the menu at the New Chance.”

“I’d like that,” she decided. “Mom really liked those cookies you taught me to make.”

“Your mom had quite the sweet tooth. I always was surprised she never baked.”

“She told me that she might have talents, but cooking wasn’t one of them,” she said, following Austin into the kitchen, where Winema was busy making potato, macaroni, and green bean with bacon salads for the cookout. “She set a cabinet on fire once frying chicken.”

“I remember that.” Austin pulled two aprons out of a drawer and tossed one to Sophie. “It sounds scary, but later it became something we all laughed about. In fact . . .”

“What?” Sophie asked.

Great move. Bringing up Friday night’s dinner, when Tom and Heather had been alive and laughing, with so much to look forward to. “She mentioned it recently, that’s all.”

“That’s how the remodeling started,” Sophie said. Austin breathed a sigh of relief at having dodged that conversational bullet. “Then, once she got started, she just sort of kept on going.” Her eyes misted. “She’s never going to see it finished.”

“I know. I’ve thought about that, too. But it’s going to be a beautiful home for some new family.” Austin measured out the flour for the crust. “Are you too disappointed about having to live here?”

“Not really. I guess.” Sophie’s gaze drifted out the window to the corral, where Buck was feeding the still unnamed colt a carrot. “Could I have a horse?”

“There are quite a few you could ride anytime you’d like.”

“No, I mean, like, my very own. Like you can ride any of them, but Blue is your special one.”

“That’s a good idea,” Austin said. “We’ll have to have you try out several.” She thought a bit about that as she cut in the chilled butter. “There’s a sweet mare who’s as smart as a whip. I’ve been considering working with her on barrels.”

“Could you teach me to do that? Mom said you’ve won a lot of championships.”

“In my day.” Austin had given up rodeoing herself once she’d ended up having to fill in so much of her father’s jobs as he’d become more and more weakened from the PPS. “But, I have to tell you, it’s not easy. It takes a lot of hard work and practice.”

“I’d like that,” Sophie said. “And I don’t mind hard work. I want to become a vet like my dad. He sometimes took me out on calls with him. I got to help deliver a calf once.”

“Oh, that must have been special.”

“It was. Dad was afraid I’d faint or get sick, but I loved it. Maybe I could help around here when your horses are born.”

“There’s nothing I’d like more.” Austin held her breath, waiting for the reason for Sophie’s parents having been out on Duck Pond Road Friday night to come up, but apparently she hadn’t made that connection. “So, would you like to start peeling those apples?” she said as a diversion.

The day stayed low-key as Sawyer had suggested. Giving a nod to the younger generation, Thomas Rhett, Chris Young, and Jake Owens sang for the gathering from the outdoor speakers. Taylor Young was added at Sophie’s direct request, which was fine with Austin, who was also a fan. Unsurprisingly, Madison, who thankfully would not be spending the night, complained about the “shit-kicker crap.”

The aroma of roasting meat drifted from the grills. Rachel and Cooper had brought over Scott’s mini-trampoline. Sawyer had set the roping dummy on the corner of the yard for Scott and Jack to practice on, though they seemed to be pretending to ride it a lot more than roping. Which was fine with him, because the sound of Jack laughing was music to Sawyer’s ears.

That scantily dressed, way-too-old-for-her-years friend of Sophie’s was flirting outrageously with him, which, while seeming to entertain his big brothers, made him as nervous as a cat in a thunderstorm. It also did not escape Tom and Heather’s daughter’s notice.

“Madison’s really pretty, isn’t she?” she asked him as she wandered over to where he was basting the ribs.

“She’s nice enough looking,” he said carefully, wondering where the hell Austin was when he needed her? “But I’d guess a lot of boys around here prefer a girl who looks like she’d be comfortable on a ranch. Or a horse,” he couldn’t resist tacking on.

Austin had already filled him in on the argument about going riding in those shorts. Sawyer wondered what kind of parents allowed their preteen girl to actually wear skintight shorts that barely covered her butt cheeks and worried, not for the first time, about his ability to pull off this co-parenting gig.

“Do you really think so?”

“Absolutely.” He ruffled the short hair he was getting used to. “You remind me of your mom, and if I were a boy, I’d be looking for a girl just like you.”