Long Slow Burn (19 page)

Justin gave Steve a withering look before turning to Nathan. “What makes you think you've been hit?”

“Other women were like…” He frowned, trying to get his brain to cooperate. “What's that stuff magicians use that flares up, then disappears?”

“Flash paper.” Kent had done props for musicals in high school. “Burst of fire and it's gone.”

“Right. That's what women have always been for me. This is more like…” He paused, hand moving up and down like a chopping ax, trying to come up with the image he wanted. “It's like a long, slow burn.”

Justin was nodding. “That's exactly what it feels like. A long, slow burn that never goes out.”

“Gimme a break.” Steve waved them away like a bad smell. “That's fairy-tale bullshit.”

“Then you've never felt it,” Justin said, with considerable acid in his tone.

Silence. It occurred to Nathan that none of them had ever taken Steve on like that, no matter how much they disagreed with him.

“Who is it?” Kent asked. “Do we know her?”

“Yeah. We do. Especially you.” He gave a harsh laugh. “It's Kim. Your sister.”

Kent stood up. He'd look threatening except he'd fallen asleep earlier and still had ink from a magazine picture decorating his cheek. “What the f—”

“Kim?” Troy lifted his beer. “Kim is awesome. Nice, funny, hot…”

“Then why didn't you go out with her again?” Justin asked. “I thought you were going to.”

“I was.” Troy flashed a glance at Nathan. “She, uh…I didn't want—It was complicated.”

Nathan peered at him curiously. Something weird about that excuse.

“Oh, no.” Justin pointed his bottle accusingly at Troy. “Don't tell me it's still Debby.”

“Not Debby.” Troy shook his head emphatically. “She
called me again and I blew her off. Marie Hewitt from Milwaukeedates.com has been talking to me about new matches. I'm over her, really this time, and looking around.”

“Good man.” Steve crunched another handful of popcorn, pieces of which fell from his lips to the carpet. Dylan moved in for cleanup duty. “You gotta keep those balls where they belong. Unlike
some
of us.”

Justin rolled his eyes. “Steve, my guess is that you were either hurt badly and haven't stopped pouting yet, or you're gay.”

The guys hooted with laughter. Nathan decided Justin was a great guy. He loved him. He loved everyone, but mostly Kim. And not Steve, who'd turned an unbecoming shade of purple and had risen to his feet.

“You want to say that outside?”

“Jesus, Steve.” Kent sounded as disgusted as he looked. “You need to get over yourself.”

“He called me gay.”

“You've called people worse.”

“Time to go home, Steve.” Troy stood and opened his front door. “That crap gets you thrown out of this house.”

Steve walked threateningly toward him, but as he approached and had to tip his head back farther and farther to keep looking Troy in the eye, he apparently changed his mind, turned around, grabbed his jacket and left, muttering obscenities.

“Nice guy,” Justin said. “I can see why you hang around him.”

“Yeah, maybe that needs to change.” Troy shut the door with a flourish and aimed a kick after it.

“Nathan.” Kent turned to him. “What the hell are you doing with my sister?”

“Everything.”

Kent's eyes narrowed. “You better—”

“Making dinner. Helping her with her work. Taking her kayaking. Trying to become a better man for her.”

“Oh.” He deflated a little. “That's it?”

“That's all that's your business.”

“If you hurt her…”

“Ha! If anyone is going to do any hurting here, it's her. I'm gone. I'm history. This is it.”

Dylan came back to stand by Nathan, as if he knew Nathan needed support.

Good dog. Nathan should get a dog. But he wanted a Kim first.

Justin was looking thoughtful. “Have you told her?”

“I want to tell her. I tell her everything except that. I met with my thesis advisor today and he said I'm finally on the right track, but I can't even tell her that, because she's out with some other jerk tonight.” He squinted, considering how that sounded. “I mean, some jerk.”

“Oh, man.” Troy shook his head. “Killer.”

“You have to tell her.” Kent swooped his beer emphatically through the air. “She has a hard time trusting guys. Especially guys who screw around.”

“Don't sleep with her,” Justin said. “Let her know she's different from the others.”

Nathan didn't move a muscle.

“Oops. Too late,” said Troy.

“No way.” Kent appeared flabbergasted. “Kim and you…really?”

Nathan scowled. “I don't want to talk about it.”

“No, no.” Kent made placating gestures. “It's just that she wouldn't… I mean unless… Geez, she must like you. Some, anyway.”

“Some. Nice.” He rubbed his forehead. “She pulled way back after.”

“Tell her how you feel,” Justin said. “That's probably what's wrong. She needs to hear it.”

“I don't know.” Nathan's heart twisted. He sat back down on the floor. Dylan put his head in his lap. “She could be on her back with this Dale dude right now.”

“No way.” Kent shook his head. “She isn't like that.”

“Have you seen her recently?” Nathan snorted. “She's changing.”

“How so?” Justin asked.

“She's acting…sexier. Dressing that way. Makeup, too.”

“You mean when she goes out?” Justin tipped his beer up and took a swig.

“No, around the house, too. And when we went out dancing, you should have seen her. She never used to, not when I first moved in, anyway. But not that long after.”

“Hello?” Justin tapped his head. “Anyone home?”

Troy was grinning. “Sounds to me like you're in.”

“I'm calling her.” Kent pulled out his cell, started dialing.

“No.” Nathan struggled to his feet. So did Dylan. “No. I don't want to know—”

He told himself to shut up. Of course he wanted to know.

“Hey, Kim, it's your brother. Where are you?” His face broke into a wide grin. “Yeah?”

Nathan felt as if his head were on the chopping block and the executioner was making up his mind whether to pick up the ax or not.

“Yeah, we're at Troy's having beers. We were at Wolski's earlier. What?” Kent listened, then clapped a hand over his mouth, trying to get laughter under control. “No, no, nothing like that. We're just hanging out. How was your evening?”

Nathan stared as hard as possible at Kent, as if Kim's words could pour out his ears and across the room to Nathan's.

It didn't work.

“Ooh,
that
good? I know, I know. Okay, yeah. Take care.”

That
good? What did that mean? His beers started turning to foam in his belly.

Kent hung up the phone, looking smug as hell. “Well. She's home.”

“What did she say?” Nathan's voiced cracked like an adolescent's. “Did she ask if I was here?”

“Yes, she asked if you were here.”

“I'm going to her.” Nathan grabbed his coat, tried to put it on, but the sleeve holes seemed to have moved. Oh, well. He'd carry it instead.

He'd taken four steps toward the front door when strong hands landed on each of his shoulders.

“I hate to stand in the way of true love.” Troy, on his right.

“But you're not really in great shape to drive.” Justin, on his left.

Kent burst out laughing, as if it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. “You are so busted. But they're right. Dude, you can't drive like that.”

“I'm fine.” Troy and Justin let go at the same time and he staggered forward. “Sort of fine.”

“You can stay here tonight,” Troy said. “Any of you can stay. There's plenty of room. I even have bacon and pancake mix for breakfast.”

Nathan groaned. “I can't wait all night.”

“For bacon?” Troy looked confused.

“For
Kim.
”

“You'll survive. It's not bad news, I promise.” Kent slapped him on the back; Nathan barely escaped more stumbling humiliation by grabbing one of Troy's chairs. “And no offense, but you might not want to declare love in the shape you're in right now.”

“You're right.” Nathan sighed mournfully. “I probably stink.”

“Like a skunk,” Troy added helpfully.

“And you look like hell,” Justin said.

“Not to mention you might puke.” Kent squeezed his shoulder. “Not a good accompaniment to ‘I love you.' Wait until morning.”

Nathan screwed up his face in distaste. “Morning isn't going to feel good, is it?”

“Skip morning. Sleep until noon.” Troy brought out a glass of water from the kitchen. “I'll put you upstairs.”

“Noon.” Nathan nodded, bumped fists with Justin and Kent, and followed Troy up the staircase, feeling like a pathetic stray. “Thanks, man.”

“You're welcome.” Troy put the water down next to the bed. “She seems worth getting it right for.”

“Troy.” He bit off a yawn. “Why did you really not call her again?”

Troy shrugged. “That day playing basketball I could tell you were into her. I thought I'd step aside.”

“Wow. Thanks, man.” He peered groggily at Troy's handsome face. Definitely a good guy. “I hope you find someone, too, because it mostly feels like absolute shit.”

Troy burst out laughing. “Not for long, dude. Sleep and you'll get it straightened out. Tomorrow you can give her the best birthday of her life. I'm sorry I'll miss it.”

“You're not going?”

“I have a date. Sleep well. The bathroom's down the hall on the right. All I ask is you don't turn the wrong way, because that's my room.” Troy tapped on the wall, grinning, and left.

Nathan made it down the hall, turned right, brushed his teeth with toothpaste and his finger, drank the water Troy left, stripped off his clothes and fell into bed.

Best birthday of her life… Wait, how was he going to do that?

His eyes shot open.

He had a pretty good idea.

K
IM OPENED THE
apartment door. “Nathan?”

No answer.

She strode into the living room.
“Nathan?”

Nothing.

She checked his room to see if he was taking a nap.

No.

Where was he? Still at Troy's?

She headed to her room and dumped her shopping bags on the bed. Apart from not seeing Nathan, Kim had managed to enjoy her birthday so far, which last night she wasn't at all sure she would. Finding out Nathan hadn't spent his evening trolling for women helped a lot, though she was discouraged by how quickly her fears had surfaced. She wanted to trust him, but would have to learn to, which would take time, with no guarantee of success.

How much of her life did she want to invest in the hope of him?

That morning, after her dance class, she'd gone for a long walk by the lake in the cool April breeze, knowing if she stayed home she'd spend every minute fidgeting, wondering when he would be back. Not far from where she and Nathan had picnicked after their kayak trip, she'd stopped and sat quietly in the sand to see if some wise inner voice would give her the answer, as Marie said it would.

The first inner voice she heard was her stomach telling her loudly that she hadn't eaten enough breakfast. Not exactly what she had in mind.

But then she'd opened herself up to listening, really listening, thinking about what Nathan had done for her, how she lit up like the Fourth of July at the mere sight of him, how much confidence he had in her and in her talent, how when she was with him she felt like the person she'd always wanted to be. Strong. Beautiful. Sexy.

She'd asked herself whether she should give up on him, and immediately felt angry and anxious and upset. Should she stay and see what could happen between them in the long term? Nervous. Excited.

Okay, Marie. On your head be it.

After the walk, she'd met her mother to have lunch and go shopping. They'd actually had a pretty decent time. For once the clothes Mom wanted to buy her were pretty close to the ones Kim wanted to wear. Even at lunch, when she said her choice right now was between the job at Soka or the contract with Carter, her mother had refrained from making any snotty comments about Charlotte's Web.

Now, to make the day perfect, Kim wanted Nathan. She checked the answering machine: two messages. One from a college roommate and one from her aunt who refused to call cell phones, both with birthday wishes. Only two? She checked her BlackBerry, and remembered she'd turned it off while she was by the lake, and had forgotten to switch it back on.

Five voice mails. Eagerly, she dialed into the system. One from Kent, one from Dad in Ohio, two from high school friends, all four wishing her happy birthday. The next message was from her mother.

“Hi, sweetie, happy birthday again. I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed lunch and how very proud I am of you and what you've accomplished…”

Tears came into Kim's eyes.
Oh, Mom.
This was a new—

“…Now how about finding yourself a man to settle down with?”

Kim chuckled, wiping the tears away.
Guess what, Mom?
She'd found the man. The settling down part…remained to be seen.

Last message: from Emily at Soka.

“Where are you? Why aren't you picking up? Call me ASAP. I have insider news from my contact at Carter.”

Kim let out a shriek, fumbled to call back and had to start over.

Emily's cell rang. Rang again.
Come on, pick up.

“Hey, Kim, where are you?” Contact! Her friend's voice was casual, not brimming with excitement, but not oozing sympathy, either. What did that mean?

“I'm home.” Kim put a hand to her chest, trying to calm down. “What's the news from Carter?”

“Meet me at Harry's Bar and Grill in ten minutes?” Still a carefully neutral tone. “I'll buy you a drink for your birthday.”

“Uh. No.” The hand on Kim's chest turned to a claw. “I am not waiting that long for you to tell me.”

“Sure you are.”

“Emily!” Kim had to work hard not to bellow. “You can't do this to me.”

“Ten minutes.”

Argh!
She checked the clock on Nathan's TV. “I have a dinner party to go to. How about you just say ‘good news' or—”

“See you there.” She signed off.

“Em—” Kim let out a roar of frustration. Fine. She'd go to the damn bar.

Phone shoved into her pants pocket, she grabbed her jacket and ran for the elevator.

 

N
ATHAN OPENED THE APARTMENT
door. “Kim?”

No answer.

He strode into the living room. “Kim?”

Nothing.

He checked her room to see if she was taking a nap.

No.

Where was she?

She hadn't been home earlier, either, when he'd first come back from Troy's. At that point he'd been glad she wasn't around. He hadn't wanted her first birthday sight of him to be unshowered, with death-breath, in yesterday's wrinkled clothes.

He'd woken up early that morning, hungover as he deserved to be, and had struggled out of Troy's guest room to use the bathroom. Luckily, no one else had been up yet, and he'd managed to sleep for another three hours. After bacon and pancakes—at lunchtime—Tylenol, a lot of water and good strong coffee, he'd felt halfway human.

Then Kent took pity and let him know Kim not only hadn't had anything like a hot date the previous night, but she'd told Dale she didn't want to see him anymore, which was undoubtedly the biggest reason Nathan had started feeling better. Better and more optimistic about Kim's feelings for him. Staying distant and friendly for the past week had nearly killed him.

Now, with the dollhouse plans completed and on the wall of Kim at Candy's house, he'd put another plan into motion this afternoon, a plan that would guarantee Kim understood how he felt about her, even if he couldn't bring his stupid guy-self to say it.

He hauled out his cell and dialed her number, praying she was planning to come home before the party. He wanted to drive her there, to see her alone and, if everything worked out, a lot more than that.

She picked up on the fourth ring. “Nathan, where are you?”

“I'm home.” His voice automatically gentled and deepened; his body relaxed. Kim was like a drug to his system.
One with frequent Viagra-like side effects. “Where are you?”

“Having a drink with Emily at Harry's.”

He frowned, checked his watch. “What about tonight?”

“There's time.”

“Not much.” He was supposed to make sure she got there on the dot of six, and if she pushed it too close, his plan would have to be postponed. And wasn't this a switch, him worrying about being late, and Kim not caring. “I'll drive you to Candy's. I'm going that way anyway. And I'd like to see you on your birthday.”

“I'd like that, too.” Her voice did the same gentling and deepening as his, making his chest tighten with happiness. And hope. And fear.

“Come home, Kim.”

“Ten minutes?”

“Ten minutes.” He ended the call in a goopy trance that shattered when his cell rang again.

“Mr. Alexander?” The deep, accented voice of the man who'd waited on him at Stein's.

Perfect.
Nathan's heart started a strong, solid beat. “It's ready?”

“It's ready.”

“I'll be right there.” Nathan checked his watch again. He could just make it. He shoved his phone in his jeans pocket, grabbed his jacket and ran for the elevator.

 

K
IM BURST INTO THE APARTMENT.
“Nathan?”

No answer.

She darted into the living room.
“Nathan?”

Nothing.

What the heck? She'd just talked to him. Where was he?

Giddy with excess energy, she ran into her bedroom to change into a teal knit dress she and her mom had bought: knee-length with a scoop-neck front and plunging V-back. What a birthday it had been already! Apparently Emily's
Carter informant had spilled on Friday that the bid candidates had been narrowed down to two: Kim and Soka. That morning, Emily's boss had called to tell her Soka wasn't getting the contract. Which meant, as far as Emily was concerned, Kim was.

Of course, Emily knew how much Kim wanted this, and what it meant to her, and had wanted her to find out on her birthday. Plus she'd been terrified Kim would accept the job at Soka before Carter got around to calling.

Until Kim heard officially, she was going to have a hard time believing it, though Emily wasn't the type to repeat unsubstantiated rumors. But after so long dreaming and hoping, it was almost too much to take in. Assuming this all worked out, Charlotte's Web was saved!

Giggling nervously, Kim closed the door to check out her reflection in the new dress. The outfit clung in all the right places, forgave in all the others. A simple silver chain necklace, her favorite dangling silver earrings and just a touch-up of mascara were all she needed. Happiness and excitement had made her eyes large and shining and put flattering color in her cheeks.

Where
was Nathan? She wasn't going to tell anyone else about the Carter job until she got the official notice, but she had to tell him. The minute he laid eyes on her he'd know something was up, anyway; he read her so well. And he'd helped her so much getting that final piece for the proposal, he deserved to know.

She laughed at herself, and nearly brushed mascara onto her eyeball. Yeah, he deserved to know because he'd helped. Right. She wanted him to know because she was crazy in love with him and wanted to share everything.

If only she could be sure he felt the same way. He desired her, yes, liked her, sure, but love?

Her cell rang from the pocket of her discarded pants; Kim rushed to answer while putting in the second earring.
Yes.
It was Nathan. She couldn't wait to tell him her news.

“Hey, Kim. I'm downstairs.”

“Five minutes?” Her hair could use brushing.

“You're gorgeous.” He sounded impatient and tense. “Come now.”

“What's the big rush?”

“I haven't seen you since yesterday, and if I have to wait any longer I might die here alone in the street.”

Immediate warm and fuzzies. He was right; her hair looked fine. Though whether she was dressed to the nines or un-made-up and in sweatpants, he seemed to think she looked perfect.

For how long?

“I'll be right there.” She grabbed her jacket and flew down the stairs, out of the building and over the sidewalk to where Nathan's car was waiting. And in it, Nathan, looking to die for in a white shirt and jeans with a brown suede, bomber-style jacket.

She slid into the passenger's seat, joy filling her as if she hadn't seen him in weeks. This was special, what was between them. He had to feel it, too. “Hi there.”

He leaned toward her, his eyes lit by the evening and something that might have been joy also. “May I kiss the birthday girl?”

She didn't have to think that one over, but met him halfway in a long, slow kiss that left her melting in his front seat. There had been
some
reason Kim pulled away from him,
some
reason she'd decided there should be no more kissing… What was it?

Oh, yes. She'd been temporarily insane.

“I've missed this so much,” he murmured. “I've missed
you,
Kim. It didn't feel right staying away. Like part of me wasn't there anymore.”

Kim caught her breath, managing to stop short of an outright gasp. Unless she was hallucinating, Nathan Alexander had just shared feelings. Tender, sweet feelings. For her. This day just kept getting better and better.

“I missed you too, Nathan.” She had. Like crazy. “It was a complicated week.”

“But we're okay now?”

“We're okay.” They were more than okay. Or at least she hoped they were. A lot more.

“Thank God.” He kissed her again, pulled away reluctantly and eased the car onto Oakland, heading north toward Shorewood. “Nice birthday so far?”

“Very nice.” Kim suppressed a smile; she was about to tell him exactly how nice. “I had my dance class, went for a long walk by the lake, then met my mom for lunch and shopping.”

“Fun. Pretty dress, by the way.” He put his hand on her thigh, picked up the hem, rubbed the material between his fingers. How could she find fingers so sexy? “Soft. Nice color on you.”

“Thank you. I was…” What? She had to clear lust-fog from her head to remember. “Oh, right. Then I came back home, Emily called and we went out for a drink.”

“Yeah?” He stopped for a red light, turned to give her a searching look. “She have anything interesting to say?”

Kim smiled to herself. No, she couldn't hide a thing from him. More than that, she wouldn't ever want to. “Oh, not much. Just happy birthday and I'm getting the Carter job.”

Nathan blinked. The light turned green. He accelerated, tires protesting, drove another hundred feet and pulled into a parking place on Capitol Drive, so fast the car bounced when he braked.

“Outside.” He unbuckled his belt and shot from his seat.

Kim was barely able to unfasten her seat belt before her door was yanked open and strong arms pulled her up, out, then wrapped themselves around her.
“Kim.”

She laughed against him, hugging almost as tightly as he was, but not quite, because he was considerably stronger and nearly suffocating her. She didn't care. What was air compared to how she felt about him?

“Congratulations.” He drew back, beaming into her eyes,
looking nearly as happy as she felt about her accomplishment. What more could she want in a man?

A small voice whispered the answer:
Commitment.

“Thanks, Nathan. I'm not telling anyone else until I hear it from Carter, but I wanted you to know.”