Look Both Ways (10 page)

“This is nice,” she said.

“It is. I own a little piece of land near San Antonio. Up in the hill country. It’s actually part of our family homestead, but I bought my sisters’ interest back when my son was born. I still enjoy going there, especially in the spring and fall.”

He placed his arms around Susan’s shoulder and looked upward. “It sits high on a hill and just seems so close to the stars.”

“I believe you’re a big romantic.” She snuggled against him.

His face descended and his lips sealed over hers. Her heart throbbed and her knees buckled.

“I guess I am.”

* * *

In her dreams, Susan was floating, Will at her side, into the sunset. They were removed from their earthly shells, somehow suspended in tranquility, away from all problems and fears. They made love without touching, surrounded by a glow brighter than the sun. She awakened in a deep sweat and looked at the clock. It was almost eleven, and she was expected at Angie’s by three.

She hurried through the rest of the morning, read the paper, and finished her laundry before leaving. With her own heavy workload and a family at home, Angie could volunteer her time only in the evening and Sunday afternoon. Her postal worker husband left for his evening shift at six during the week and at four on Sundays.

Susan’s respect for Angie grew after she told her story as they dug through reams of paper.

“I envy you and your lifestyle. I got married in college, and we moved here when Dawes Petroleum recruited Dwayne. My life has changed a lot since then. I learned of Dwayne’s affair and knew I could not live that way.”

“Good for you.”

She frowned and shook her head. “People say a woman can tell when a man is fooling around. I know exactly when Dwayne started drifting away. I asked him about it, but he said it was the strain of his job and trying to achieve a more stable position. I’ll skip the seedy details, but my painful discovery came one evening when Jessica developed a temperature and I called Dwayne at work. When I said it was an emergency, the woman answering the phone said he had left two hours earlier and gave me an address.”

Hearing the pain in Angie’s voice took Susan back to her final episode with Stan.

“I don’t have to tell you what I found. Dwayne knew me well enough to assume I came armed with the revolver I kept in my closet, so he just stood there swearing nothing happened even though he was half naked when I arrived. I was so angry that I lost all sense of reason. Still holding Jessica in one arm, I kicked and trashed that place until I was exhausted.”

“I admire your backbone,” Susan said. “How awful! I don’t know what I would have done in that situation, but I’m sure it would have been something close to what you did.”

“I can’t tell you how much it hurt, but I was too proud to cry. I went back to that apartment and packed his clothes. I had them waiting on the little porch when he came home. I didn’t want an explanation. I just wanted him gone.”

“Good for you,” Susan said, and lifted her frozen margarita.

“Then, I had to figure out how I was going to take care of my daughter and myself on the money I made. But you know what, Susan? I felt so good about myself. I felt too much pride to stay with him even if I had to beg to survive. When you speak of being in control, I know exactly what you mean. I admire you for sticking up to Price Bishop. We’re going to fight him and we’re going to win, and not just because he’s a hateful idiot, but for all the times innocent women have been left holding the smoking gun.”

Angie was adamant about reviewing every file from Cedargrove Heights and all corresponding approvals. Her mood lightened when she talked of her present husband, Carl, whom she described as down to earth, sweet and kind.

“Carl is a nice man. Some women mistake kindness for weakness. That same sweet man that women say they want is the one they drive their cars over. Carl had been taken advantage of more than once. I could tell he was cynical and mistrusting when I met him at a political rally. I didn’t have family or close friends to keep the baby, so I seldom went anywhere without her. We sat next to Carl, and Jessica reached out as if she had known him all of her life. She fell asleep in my arms and he carried her to my car when the rally ended. He asked for my phone number and called later that evening to make sure we got home safely. We went out a couple of times, and he fell in love with my daughter. There was no real engagement; we married in a civil ceremony. It seems like yesterday in some ways. Everything was new, including most of Houston.”

“It still is,” Susan said. “I can’t get over the Galleria. It’s like shopping in New York or Chicago.”

“This city has grown tremendously in the last ten years. There was a soybean field across the street from my first apartment in Southwest Houston. Now it’s a high-income neighborhood with large homes, shopping malls, and a golf course every few blocks. We’ve got a nice zoo, pro basketball, football, and baseball—and each team has a new, state-of-the art arena.”

“Travis said there’s a great theater district.”

“Oh yeah. And the museum district is wonderful. We take the kids whenever we can. Carl and I thought about relocating after we married and Dwayne started giving us hell about seeing Jessica. Thank God for Carl’s sister, Kathleen. She’s an attorney. By the time she finished filing for back child support and money for his half of the bills I struggled to pay, he was glad to leave us alone. After Jenna was born, we decided to stay in Houston, and I’ve never been sorry.”

“Well, you’re a great mother. You have a wonderful family, and I’ve never seen anyone in this house look unhappy.”

She felt the beginnings of maternal tugs on her heartstrings. She felt love and happiness in Angie’s home. The girls were pretty and well behaved, and the two-story brick home was delightfully decorated in a creative style befitting a growing family.

They set up shop at the breakfast table. Angie unlocked the wheeled file cabinet Susan had bought to safeguard the loan documents, they sipped Angie’s famous frozen cocktails, and Susan finally shared her feelings.

“I enjoy having a career, but I would give up part of my salary, the big office, and having to deal with dopes like Price in a heartbeat for what you have. The girls are adorable, and I see the look in Carl’s eyes when he’s with you. That’s what I want—the love and security of having a wonderful, supportive man in my life.”

Thinking of her parents, she said, “I grew up in that kind of family. My parents are happy together. They raised us and now they’re enjoying their first grandchild, courtesy of my brother, Bobby, and his wife, Jennifer.” She sighed. “I guess it’s only natural for the oldest child to have the first grandchild, though I was the first to marry.” She felt more disappointment than bitterness.

Putting the subject of family and marriage aside, she returned to the matter at hand. “I’ll never be able to repay you for your help. I just know we’ve not heard the last of this mess, and I have to be prepared for whatever the good folks of Cedargrove toss my way. I promise you that if I go down, I will not divulge to anyone that you helped, but if I win this fight, I’ll make sure Deeds knows what a valuable employee you are.”

“Have you heard any more from them?” Angie asked, separating loan documents from her daughter’s school project.

“Not exactly.” Susan hesitated. “I’m going to tell you something that I’ve only confided to my parents and my best friend Barbara. I’m not sure where it’s heading, but I’ve been seeing Rev. Cartwright socially.”

“What!” Angie screamed, staring at Susan. “You…and Willie Cartwright? Girl, tell me you didn’t?”

“It’s not serious, at least not yet.” She spoke casually, but in her heart she knew seriousness was her goal. She wanted to fall in love again, and there was no one she would rather love than the Rev. Willard Cartwright Jr.

“Susan, Willie Cartwright is one of the most eligible men in this town. Every woman I know would like to get her hands on him. I felt it was such a shame that the two of you were at odds with each other. He’s perfect for you. Handsome, well respected, and rich as cream.”

“Rich?”

“He owns an accounting firm. Didn’t you know that? He employs something like two hundred people. His firm has a big hospital contract as well as some with the city of Houston. He also owns an apartment building in the newer section of Cedargrove, which he reserves for low-income families. From what I’ve heard, he a heavy investor in several commercial projects in the city.” She threw up her hands. “I can’t believe this. You and Rev. Willie! I don’t know what to say.”

“I knew he has an accounting firm but I didn’t know…” Susan was mildly surprised at Will’s accomplishments. “I did notice that his clothes are very expensive. Obviously tailored. Of course, I doubt those wide shoulders and that magnificent body would fit in anything off the rack. Tell me the truth, Angie. I’ve been afraid of my feelings for him, partly because he’s a minister and partly because of this mess,” she said, pointing to a stack of files. “I feel like I’m in heaven when we’re together, and that’s without intimacy. Should I proceed, and if I do, will it jeopardize my career?”

“The only advice I can give you is to forget this mess and go for it. Being a minister doesn’t make him any less a man.” Angie wagged her finger. “And a fine man at that.”

“He is fine, isn’t he? I’m so glad to be able to talk to someone about this. I think I’m falling in love with him, Angie. We spent the most wonderful day together yesterday. Every time he smiles at me, my heart just melts. We drove to Galveston and browsed in some of the shops, walked along the seawall, and talked about our childhood, our hopes and dreams. Then we ate dinner at a restaurant overlooking the water. I could feel myself falling in love.”

“Oh, that sounds so romantic. Willie Cartwright!” Angie squealed with delight. “Don’t be afraid to fall in love. I don’t think he would ever do anything to hurt you. So what if something happens at Sealand? You’re educated, smart as a whip, and connected. You could get another job in a wink. That man is sweet.”

“Angie, we sat there after dinner sipping our coffee and talking, and I’ve never felt so alive in my life. I would have married him on the spot if he had asked.”

“How long has this been going on?” Angie asked.

“These terrifying feelings began the first day he walked into my office. That was the reason I had such a hard time keeping my wits about me.”

She felt a deep bond with Angie and felt comfortable telling her how it all had started.

“Remember the day we were evacuated? I stopped for gas, and there he was. We apologized for rudeness during those two encounters in my office, and then he invited me to a church fashion show.”

“So you’ve been out with him twice?”

“No, three times. We had lunch on Wednesday, planned to have dinner on Friday, but he was tied up. Yesterday was his way of compensating. He was a perfect gentleman at all times. Angie, I just feel so wonderful when I’m with him. Just talking, holding hands, my heart felt like it would explode. When we got back to my place, he stayed just long enough for the most thrilling kiss I’ve ever had. After that, I had a fierce inner struggle. My practical heart wanted assurance, my liberated spirit resisted the strength of our connection, and the rest of me just wanted Will. Wanted him as I have never wanted any man.”

“I’m sure he felt the same. His wife left him a long time ago and women have been after him ever since. The ones I know of didn’t get far, and it wasn’t for lack of trying.”

“How do you know all this?”

“For one thing, he dated Barbara Patton in accounting. She’s a real broom-riding witch. Always talking loud and saying nothing. She dated him until about four months ago. She’d sit in the lunchroom every day talking about getting him bedded and wedded, but it sounds like she didn’t do either one. We all got sick of listening to her. I think everyone there shouted when the bragging ceased.”

“What happened?”

“I’m not sure. First she bragged about having him close to the altar, and not for a sermon. Then she just stopped talking about him. Someone asked why, and she said things didn’t work out. I know someone else who dated him. She said it didn’t work out because of his responsibilities, but she’s a real society maven. Her first husband was a pro football player and she’s involved with several big social events. I don’t think Willie had time for all of that. Either that or he was bored to tears by that bunch, the same way I am.”

Susan felt sympathetic. “I’m sure it’s not easy dating or being married to a man who is constantly on call. Of course, right now my social life is nonexistent, so I don’t expect any conflict.” She put the file aside and looked at her new friend.

“Angie, he’s the first man I’ve been attracted to since Stan. Heck, my attraction to Stan wasn’t like this. Just watching Will walk in my door turns my knees to jelly. I keep thinking if he can rattle me this much just by walking into a room, I could find myself totally helpless if I fell in love with him, and then my control alarm sounds.”

“I understand what you’re saying, but we all take chances with our heart when we fall in love. A powerful man like Willie Cartwright showers you with his masculinity just by being there. You know who he reminds me of? That guy on TV. He stars in that show,
The Unit
, and he was the president on
24
. They even look a lot alike.”

“Dennis Haysbert. You’re right. They do look a lot alike. There’s just something thrilling about a big guy, especially his walk. Confidence and masculinity. Takes your breath away. My dad is a big man. Rugged and robust. He made me feel safe when I was growing up—he still does. I won’t tell Willie that, or he might think I’m looking for a father substitute. Believe me, that’s not what I have in mind.”

After a good laugh, Angie became serious. “No matter what man you fall for, I doubt you’d ever be a doormat. You’re not a weakling.” She gave Susan a sisterly pat on the shoulder. “I’m so happy for you. For a minute I thought you might be falling for Travis Polk. He and one of my collectors went to a ballgame together and Travis spent the whole evening talking about what a wonderful person you are.”