Looking for a Miracle (17 page)

One evening in late February, Daniel stopped by Rebekah’s house for a visit. Everyone else in her family had already gone to bed, so he and Rebekah sat in the kitchen, looking through a stack of nursery catalogs that had recently come in the mail and discussing what she might order for her greenhouse in the months ahead.

After they’d been sitting there awhile, Rebekah looked up from her studies and saw Daniel looking intently at her. “What’s wrong?” she asked. “You’re looking so thoughtful all of a sudden.”

“Nothing’s wrong. I was just thinking how lucky I am to have you as
mei aldi,
” he answered with a smile. “My girlfriend,” he repeated. “You’re so kind and sweet.”

“Me, sweet?” She averted her gaze as heat flooded her face. “I never thought anyone would think of me as sweet.”

Daniel reached out and took hold of her hand, sending a warm sensation traveling all the way up her arm. “Why not? You have a most generous spirit, and your expression is always so sincere. I find everything about you to my liking, Rebekah.”

“Even my stiff, crippled legs?” She hated to spoil the moment by bringing up her disability, but she felt the question needed to be asked.

“Your legs only serve to remind me that you haven’t allowed your handicap to stop you from doin’ good things with your life.” Daniel stroked the back of her hand gently with his thumb. The light of the lantern hanging above the table lit his dark eyes. “I want to spend the rest of my days with you, Rebekah,” he whispered. “I want you to be my wife.”

Rebekah stared at the table, thinking she must have misunderstood what he’d said and wondering if he might have been joking.

Daniel lifted her chin, so she was looking directly at him. Such a serious expression she saw on his face. It let her know that she hadn’t misunderstood, and she felt sure he wasn’t joking. “Would ya be interested in marryin’ me come fall?”

Rebekah felt like all the air had been squeezed out of her lungs—like when she was little and had taken a tumble from the hayloft. She had known she and Daniel were getting closer, but a proposal was the last thing she’d expected to hear tonight.

When she opened her mouth to reply, nothing came out but a little squeak.

“So what’s your answer?” Daniel prompted. “Will you agree to be my wife?”

Tears sprang to Rebekah’s eyes, clouding her vision and stinging her nose. She had never known such joy before Daniel came along. He made her feel whole and alive—so much so that she couldn’t think clearly when he was looking at her in such a sweet way. Maybe that was the reason she was able to find her voice and didn’t hesitate to answer, “Jah, Daniel, I would be honored to be your wife.”

Daniel leaned his face close to hers until their lips nearly touched. Rebekah closed her eyes and waited expectantly for the kiss she felt was forthcoming. She had never been kissed by a man before. Not in the real sense of the word, anyway. Hugs and quick pecks on the cheeks didn’t count, and those had only come from family and close friends.

The gentle kiss Daniel placed on her lips didn’t last long, but it took Rebekah’s breath away. When Daniel pulled back a few seconds later he was grinning from ear to ear. Rebekah suppressed a giggle, and without a word, she picked up the seed catalog they had been looking at. Except for the gentle hissing of the gas lantern above the table, all was quiet, and Rebekah felt more at peace than she’d ever thought possible.

Winter melted into spring, and spring blossomed into summer. Everyone’s life was busy as usual, and the new season was full of changes. Aunt Grace had given birth to a baby boy toward the end of March. About the same time, Mary Ellen announced that she, too, was expecting a baby, due in November.

Rebekah was happy for her cousin, but hearing the news put an ache in her heart for a child of her own. It also caused her to have second thoughts about whether marriage for her was such a good idea. What if she didn’t make Daniel happy? What if she could never conceive? What if she got pregnant but couldn’t take care of their baby? She determined to keep those nagging doubts hidden from Daniel, who seemed to be anxiously awaiting their wedding day set to occur on the third Thursday of November.

“How would you two young women like to drive over to Lewis and Grace’s place with me later this morning?” Mom asked as Rebekah and Nadine helped to clean up the kitchen after breakfast.

“I’d like to go,” Nadine said in an excited tone. “Last Sunday after church was over, Uncle Lewis told me that one of his rabbits had given birth to ten little
haaslin.
It will give me a chance to see ’em.”

Mom clicked her tongue. “We’re not going over to see the baby bunnies, Nadine. We’ll be making the trip to see Aunt Grace and Uncle Lewis’s growing boppli.” She smiled. “Wouldn’t you like to spend some time holding your little second cousin?”

Nadine wrinkled her nose. “I’d much rather hold a
haasli.
At least they don’t wet their
windles
and spit up all over the place.”

Rebekah, who had been drying the dishes, spoke up for the first time. “Baby bunnies may not spit up on you, but since they don’t have the protection of a diaper, they can sure make a mess.”

“Jah, well,” Nadine said, grabbing a broom from the closet, “I’ll take my chances holding a haasli any old time.”

As Rebekah sat in Grace’s living room, with baby Timothy nestled in her arms, her eyes stung with tears. He was such a beautiful baby—dark hair, like his mother’s, and a turned up nose like his father’s.

If Daniel and I could have children, I wonder what they would look like. Would their hair be light brown like mine or dark like Daniel’s? Would their eyes be blue, brown, or a mixture of the two?

“Would you like to hold the boppli for a while?” Aunt Grace asked, looking over at Nadine, who sat next to their mother on the sofa.

“I don’t think so. He might spit up on me or somethin’.”

“I have a burp cloth you can drape over your shoulder.”

“He’s a bundle of sweetness,” Rebekah said, smiling down at the baby.

Nadine shook her head. “No, thanks.” Then she looked over at Mom and said, “Can I go out to the barn to see the haaslin now?”

“I suppose if you don’t get to hold one of those bunnies today, we’ll have to hear about it all the way home.”

“Danki, Mom.” Nadine stood and rushed out the door.

Aunt Grace smiled at Rebekah. “How are things with you these days?”

Rebekah shifted the baby from her lap up to her shoulder. “Okay.”

“Things are going well in Rebekah’s greenhouse,” Mom spoke up. “Word of mouth and a few newspaper ads have helped her business, and she’s getting more customers all the time.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“As I’m sure you know, she and Daniel will be getting married this fall, so Rebekah has a lot to do between now and then to get her dress made and do everything she wants done before the wedding.”

“I can imagine how excited you must be, Rebekah,” Aunt Grace said. “I remember when Lewis and I were betrothed—I was just counting the days until we got married.”

Rebekah nodded as a rush of heat covered her face and neck. “I am excited,” she admitted. “And a whole lot
naerfich,
too.”

“There’s no reason to be nervous,” Aunt Grace said with a wave of her hand. “It’ll all be over with sooner than you thought, and then you’ll settle into the routine of being a hausfraa and probably a
mudder
soon after that.”

“I’m not so sure about me being a mother,” Rebekah mumbled. “The doctor said I may never be able to have any bopplin.”

“Doctors have been known to be wrong,” Mom interjected. “After they said you’d always be in a wheelchair and would probably never be able to stand on your legs, who’d have guessed that you could walk again?”

“Walk?” Rebekah looked down at her crippled legs and frowned. “What I’m able to do with those rigid leg braces and crutches isn’t really walking, Mom.”

“It’s more than we could have hoped for, and it does get you out of that wheelchair for a time.”

Rebekah shrugged. Walking with the leg braces was a chore, but rather than say anything, she thought it best to keep her opinion to herself. “Is it okay if I write something about little Timothy in my next article for
The Budget?
” she asked her aunt.

“Jah, sure. That’d be real nice.”

The three women sat awhile. Mom and Aunt Grace sipped from their glasses of iced tea, and Rebekah snuggled the baby in her arms. The warmth of his soft skin and his sweet baby smell made her long all the more for a boppli of her own.

It was already mid-August, which left only three short months until the wedding, and Rebekah knew if she didn’t do something about her doubts and apprehensions soon, she might not be able to go through with her marriage to Daniel. She still loved him—probably more with each passing day. However, fear of the unknown was paralyzing her soul, causing more discomfort than the partial paralysis of her lower body.

What’s wrong with me?
Rebekah silently moaned as she sat in her wheelchair, repotting a spider plant that had grown too large for its container.
I thought I had all this settled in my mind. I believed I could take the step of faith necessary for love and marriage. When I agreed to marry Daniel, I thought it was God’s will. I’d decided that He had brought the two of us together, yet now I’m not so sure.

She patted some fresh potting soil around the roots of the plant, feeling downright jittery inside. “I need to stay busy, that’s all. If I keep my mind occupied, I won’t have time for second thoughts.”

Rebekah’s self-talk was cut short when a customer rang the bell and entered the greenhouse. She wheeled herself out to the front section of the building and was greeted by Johnny Yoder. As a married man, he now sported a full beard, and for the first time since they had become adults, she thought he actually looked mature.

“Guder mariye,” she said.

“Good morning, Rebekah.” Johnny took off his straw hat and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. “Ach, my! It’s hot out there. Only ten o’clock and already it’s over eighty degrees.”

Rebekah nodded. “Another hot and humid summer, that’s for sure.”

“I think the only critters who like this kind of weather are the lightning bugs,” Johnny said with a deep chuckle.

Rebekah nodded and smiled. “So what brings you here today?”

“I thought I’d get a nice plant for Mary Ellen. It might make her feel better.”

“She’s still not feeling well?”

“It’s that awful morning sickness. Doc Manney says it should go away soon, but she’s already in her sixth month, and still she fights it.” Johnny shook his head. “Her back hurts somethin’ awful, too, and the poor thing can’t stand or sit long, neither.”

Rebekah clicked her tongue. “That must be hard. I’ll try to get over and see her soon.”

Johnny nodded “You’re Mary Ellen’s best friend, and I’m sure a visit would do her some good.”

“What kind of plant did you have in mind?” Rebekah asked, bringing the subject back to the reason for Johnny’s visit. “Something for the flower garden or an indoor plant?”

He scratched the back of his head and squinted. “I’m not sure. Maybe something for the porch. Mary Ellen spends a lot of time outdoors in the shade there, since it’s been so hot inside.”

Rebekah smiled. Johnny did seem to care about Mary Ellen’s needs. She was glad he had made her cousin so happy. “Let’s go on back to where my plants are kept. I think I have a nice pot of mixed pansies she might like.”

Johnny followed as she rolled into the other room, and a short time later, he was at the cash register, paying for a large pot of yellow, white, and purple pansies. As he opened the front door, he nearly bumped into Daniel, who was just coming into the greenhouse.

“That’s a beautiful bunch of pansies you’ve got there,” Daniel said, as he hung his straw hat on one of the wooden wall pegs near the door.

“Jah, and they’re for a beautiful wife!” Johnny waved and was gone before Daniel could open his mouth to respond.

“Marriage seems to agree with him,” Daniel said, smiling at Rebekah. “I think he’s excited about becoming a daed, too.”

Rebekah nodded but made no comment.

Daniel knelt next to her wheelchair and reached out to take both of her hands. “Is something wrong? You look kind of down in the mouth this morning.”

Rebekah was about to reply when the doorbell rang again. Two English couples entered the greenhouse. “I’ve got to wait on those people,” she whispered to Daniel, then wheeled away.

“May I help you with something?” she asked the two young couples who stood looking around the room.

“We were wondering if you might sell anything cold to drink,” one of the women said. “It’s so hot out today, and we’re all thirsty.”

Rebekah shook her head. “I don’t sell any beverages, but I do have some cold water in the back room.” She looked over at Daniel. “Would you mind getting the pitcher, along with some paper cups?”

“Sure, I can do that,” he responded with a nod.

The group of English looked grateful and offered their thanks when Daniel reappeared a few minutes later with a pitcher of water and some paper cups.

“What do you sell here?” one of the young men asked Rebekah.

“Plants, flowers, and all garden-related items.” Rebekah had to wonder why these people didn’t know what things were sold in a greenhouse. They were obviously city folk.

“You could probably triple your profits if you sold some food and beverages, especially during the hot summer months,” the other man said.

“Maybe so.”

The tourists finished their water, then turned to leave. They were about to exit the building when one of the women spotted a wooden whirligig shaped like a windmill. “Look at this, Bill. Isn’t it cute? I’d like to have it for our backyard.”

The man reached into his pants pocket and handed his wallet to her. “Here, help yourself.” He grinned, then turned to Rebekah. “We’re newlyweds, and I can’t seem to say no.”

Rebekah just rolled her wheelchair over to the cash register.

“This is so nice,” the woman said. “You should offer more handmade items for sale. Almost anything made by you Amish would probably sell well.”

Rebekah smiled and muttered her thanks.

As soon as the customers left, Daniel moved over to stand beside her. “Those English tourists might have a good point about you sellin’ more things in here.”

Rebekah wrinkled her nose. “It wouldn’t be much of a greenhouse if I sold all sorts of trinkets and souvenirs just to please the tourists.”

“It would still be a greenhouse, Rebekah. It would simply have a few added items for sale, is all.” His brown eyes fairly sparkled. “I sure can’t wait until we’re married. Then we’ll finally be business partners. Why, I have all sorts of new ideas I’d like to put into practice here.”

Rebekah felt like a jolt of lightning had shot through her. Was that all Daniel wanted—a business partner? Had he proposed marriage so he could become part owner of Grandma’s Place?

“And what if there is no partnership, Daniel?” she asked pointedly.

He squinted. “No partnership? What do you mean? Two heads are better than one, ya know.”

“That may be true, but what if I change my mind, and we don’t get married after all?” The words seemed to jump right off her tongue, but there was no taking them back now.

“You’re teasin’ me, aren’t you?”

She shook her head. “Here of late, I’ve been having some serious doubts about marriage, and what you just said only confirms my thinking.”

“What? You can’t mean that.” Daniel bent down and took hold of her shoulders. “Please say you don’t mean it.”

She swallowed past the lump in her throat. “I—I do mean it. I’m thinking maybe you only want me for this business. Could be that the greenhouse is the only reason you ever showed any interest in me at all.”

“Jumpin’ frogs, Rebekah, I never thought anything of the kind! I care about you. Surely you can see that.”

She bit her bottom lip so hard she tasted blood. “I’m not sure what I see anymore, but I know one thing—I can’t be a normal wife, and I’m pretty sure I can’t have babies. I also know that—”

Daniel stopped her rush of words by placing his finger against her lips. “Please don’t say those things. We’ve talked about this stuff before—all except me wanting to be your business partner more than your marriage partner. I do want to be your business partner; I won’t deny that, Rebekah. I’ve wanted it for a long time, but—”

Rebekah jerked her wheelchair to one side, cutting him off in midsentence. “I’ve heard enough, so please don’t say anything more. It’s over between us, and it’s best that you go home and forget you ever knew me.”

Daniel’s face was red as a cherry. “Can’t I have my say on this?”

She shook her head vigorously. “There’s already been too much said. I should have never let things go this far. My answer to your proposal should have been
no
from the beginning.”

Daniel shuffled his feet a few times, then jerked his straw hat off the wall peg and marched out the door.