Looking for Cassandra Jane (The Second Chances Novels) (22 page)

Sixteen

I
t takes a cross-country van trip
with a bunch of unwashed teen-aged friends to fully appreciate the sacrifices made during the hippy movement. It’s not that our goal was to look and smell like a carload of farm animals exactly—it was simply inevitable. And although the next two days on the road were long and grueling and somewhat odorous we all remained in surprisingly happy spirits. On our second day of almost nonstop travel I asked Sky why we had to get to California so fast—so fast that we couldn’t even stop to bathe or wash our hair. (Not that hygiene was my major concern.) But since I’d never been much outside of Brookdale I felt slightly dismayed that we couldn’t take a little time to see more of the country as we traveled—and I suspected the Grand Canyon was somewhere nearby. Sky said he felt it best we get there quickly. “Partly because I’m concerned about the health of my grandmother, and partly because we don’t want to chance getting stopped.”

“Stopped?”

“Well, you know, Rainbow—” he affectionately patted me on the head— “other than River and me, you guys are all underage.”

“Oh yeah.” I nodded, suddenly remembering that in the eyes of the law we might all be considered runaways.

Later that day Sunshine wanted to call her parents from a pay phone at a gas station. “Just to let them know I’m okay,” she’d quickly explained after Sky had stopped her from dropping her dime in the phone (in fact, he confiscated her dime).

“No, Sunshine. No one calls anyone until we get there,” he turned and announced to all of us. “We can’t allow any single one of us to put the entire group at risk.” Sunshine wasn’t too happy about this and for a brief moment I considered how her mother might be feeling right now—I remembered how just days ago she’d shown such concern for her daughter and wanted to patch things up between Sunshine and her dad. I felt bad for her, but in the next instant I made myself forget these things—just more thoughts to take captive.

And that’s when it occurred to me that if I was “captivating” these thoughts then I must be putting them somewhere. But where was that? So that’s when I began to imagine some sort of big, gray prison cell designed to contain Cass’s—I mean Rainbow’s—errant and sinful thoughts. I must admit this image seemed almost humorous to me at the time.

It was on the second day, during a pit stop in New Mexico, that Sky announced we would call each other brothers and sisters from now on—since that’s what we were in the eyes of the Lord. “Does that mean we have to say Brother Sky and Sister Moonlight?” asked Sunshine. “That’s kind of a mouthful, you know.”

Sky considered this. “Well no, I suppose that seems a little formal. Maybe for when we’re meeting outsiders. For our own little family we can be more relaxed. But when you refer to the guys from now on you can call them the brothers, and the girls, the sisters. Does that make sense?” We all agreed that it made perfect sense. We would now be the brothers and the sisters—one big happy family.

And it was amazing how close we all became to each other during this grueling three-day trip. It’s as if our spirits really were uniting. Even Moonlight, whom I’d felt the most distance from, (and only because I had to keep chiding myself for being so horribly judgmental against her) began to feel more like a real sister to me. It was also on the second day of our trip, just after dinner, that Sky had announced that all the sisters would travel together in the van during the night. And the brothers would ride together in the bug. At first we wondered what this was about, but he told us that God had told him that we were to keep separated for the remainder of our trip to prevent impure thoughts. And that seemed to make sense and naturally no one argued with him. No one ever argued with Sky. Well, almost no one.

As a result we sisters enjoyed the feeling of sisterhood even more while being together in the van for those last two days. Sunshine took the lead among us, probably because she was just a natural leader anyway and also she was the oldest (almost eighteen). Since I’d never really had close girlfriends before (other than Bryn and that was always a strained relationship) this was new and rather fun for me. And for some reason it felt more relaxed and freeing than when the brothers were present where it often seemed we had the constant strain of vying for attention. I suppose it was mostly the sisters trying to get Sky’s attention, but I think there was a little tension between the brothers too. And even River and Breeze (who were already established as a couple) seemed as if they needed a little break from each other.

“Hey, Breeze,” said Moonlight, “will you and River get married in California?”

Breeze giggled. “Oh, I don’t know. What makes you ask that?”

“Well, don’t you think some of us should get married once we get all settled in and everything?”

Sunshine, who was driving, threw back her head and laughed. “So what are you saying, Moonlight? Are you wanting to get married or something?”

“Maybe…”

We all turned and looked at her (except for Sunshine who glanced up in the rearview mirror and continued driving). “Are you serious?” said Sunshine. “You really want to get married?”

“Well, it’s probably better than living in sin.” Moonlight poked Breeze in the arm.

“What’re you saying?” asked Breeze. “Are you saying you think that me and River are doing it?”

Moonlight just laughed.

“Well, we’re not, you know,” said Breeze defensively. “We know that’s wrong—that’s fornication, you know.”

“Yeah, we know you’re not doing it, Breeze,” said Sunshine soothingly. “Moonlight’s just being silly, aren’t you, Moonie?”

“Moonie?”
she said indignantly. “Don’t you go calling me Moonie,
Sister Sunny!”

“Okay then, you better not go accusing
Sister Breezie
of things you don’t know anything about.”

“Sister Breezie?”
She let out a hoot of laughter. “That’s good.”

By then we were all laughing and teasing and calling each other by these newly discovered nicknames. I even became Sister Rainy. “Well, we better not let Brother Sky catch us changing our names already,” I warned as the laughter finally subsided.

“Yeah, it’ll just have to be a sister thing,” said Sunshine.

No more talk of marriage was heard during the trip, but I must admit I wondered if Moonlight might not be onto something. And I felt a confusing mix of emotions about the idea. Part of me knew that I was too young to marry, but another part was intrigued by the possibility. And naturally these were just some more thoughts I had to lock away in my captive dungeon. I wondered how many thoughts that place could contain without bursting out at the seams and embarrassing me.

We had a little celebration when we finally crossed the California state line. And to our delight it was a clear and sunny day. We actually got out of the vehicles and danced around and even kissed the ground. Then we made a little circle and Sky led us in a word of prayer before we climbed back into the car and van and prepared for the final hours of our arduous journey.

We reached Carmel late in the afternoon and stopped at a store to pick up some provisions. “I don’t know what my grandmother will have on hand,” said Sky as we filled a cart, “so we might as well come prepared.”

I can still remember the rush I felt when we finally pulled to a stop on a little country road. The only sign that we were at the right place was a rusty old mailbox in front of a gravel driveway that looked fairly overgrown with weeds and grass. Sky stuck his head out the window of the bug and hollered, “This is it! We’ve reached the Promised Land!” Then we followed him down a long driveway until we came to a two-story farmhouse with a barn and a couple of small outbuildings tucked next to a low green hill. The place was thoroughly overgrown with briars and weeds and the leaning buildings appeared about to fall over, but to me it really looked like Paradise! We all jumped out of our vehicles and literally danced around, praising the Lord and shouting and laughing—and then we followed Sky’s lead and kneeled right there in the driveway and prayed for God to bless this place as we dedicated it to him as “The Promised Land.”

“You all wait out here while I go inside and have a quick word with my grandmother,” said Sky.

Moonlight begged him to hurry since she really needed to use the bathroom. “Bad,” she said as she hopped around. The six of us continued to sing praise songs to pass the time as we waited outside in the cool January air, and finally Moonlight couldn’t stand it any longer and proceeded to relieve herself in the nearby bushes.

Then just as daylight began to fade Sky came back out and flipped on the porch light. A big smile lit his face. “Come on in,” he called. “I haven’t figured everything out yet, but Gram wants to meet everyone. I didn’t exactly tell her that we would all be staying here. She thinks you’re all just passing through. But I know that God is working this thing out for us. And we can’t question his ways. We just have to take this thing one step at a time—kind of like when the Israelites took the Promised Land. So for now let’s not mention to her that we’re all going to stay here. Okay?”

Naturally we all agreed, but I remember chastising myself for the tremor of worry that passed through me. What if Sky’s grandmother didn’t want us? What then? But down to the dungeon I tossed these thoughts as I pasted a faithful smile across my face and stepped into the old farmhouse. The living room smelled like a bad mixture of cooked cabbage, dirty laundry, and stale cigarette smoke. And right off I could see that no one had kept house here in quite some time. Situated on a couch that seemed to be serving as a bed was an old woman who looked to be almost as wide as she was tall, and I’d guess she was maybe five feet tall at best. Next to her was a metal TV tray with an overflowing ashtray and several empty dishes that looked as if they’d been sitting there for some time. I don’t actually remember how Sky introduced us to her but I’ll never forget her response.

“What are you kids? Some kind of traveling circus or something? How’d you get those names anyway? Raincloud and Moonshine and why, I can’t even remember the rest!”

“These are the new names that God has given us,” said Sky in a solemn voice. But Sunshine and I had to irreverently suppress giggles over his grandmother’s comments.

“God gave you names?”
She
hooted. “Now ain’t that something! You think he’ll give me a new name too, Scotty?”

“Actually I go by Sky now.” This conversation was making him uncomfortable.

“Sky?”
she looked up and over in his direction, but not right at him, and that’s when it became apparent that she could barely see, and I remembered then how Sky had said she was almost blind from her advanced diabetes. “What’s your mother think about you changing your name, Scotty?”

He sighed deeply. “You know, Gram, we’re all pretty hungry and I’ll bet you are too. How about if we start fixing some dinner? We stopped by the store and got some things.” He turned to us. “Why don’t you go get those groceries and bring them in?” Then he stopped me. “Rainbow, you know a little about cooking and cleaning, don’t you? How about if you stay in here and get things going in the kitchen?”

“Sure,” I said.

“Who do you want to help you?”

Now this was a new twist. I got to pick someone to help me? “How about Sunshine?” I suggested.

She smiled. “Okay, but you’ll have to show me what to do. I’m pretty hopeless in the kitchen.”

As it turned out the kitchen was pretty hopeless too. At least at first glance. Obviously Sky’s grandmother had been challenged by her fading vision, to say the least, to fend for herself, and as a result the place looked chaotic with various dishes and pots and food items spread all over the counters. But Sunshine and I rolled up our sleeves and began to attack it. I put Sunshine to work washing dirty dishes (so we’d have something to eat from) while I tried to make enough space on the counters to prepare a meager meal of spaghetti, salad, and bread. Almost two hours later we all sat around the dining room table and ate. But before we ate I made sure to take a nice plate out to Sky’s grandmother, reintroducing myself to her as Rainbow, not Raincloud, this time.

“Did you do the cooking?” she asked, sniffing the plate.

“Yes. I’m not the best cook,” I said apologetically. “But I’ve had a little practice.”

“How old are you?”

By now I knew that Sky had told her we were all college-aged, so as to avoid unnecessary questions. “I’m eighteen,” I said quietly, choosing the closest legal age to my own. Somehow it seemed less of a lie to me at the time.

“Well, what’re you doing tramping around the country with my grandson?” she asked as she shoveled a bite of salad into her mouth.

“We’re all just good friends,” I explained. “Like brothers and sisters. And Sky is like our big brother. We really look up to him. And he’s a good guy.”

She looked in my direction, and with her mouth still full of lettuce, smiled. Her eyes were a foggy gray. “That’s nice,” she muttered. “Well, if you like to cook, little Raincloud, then maybe you should think about sticking around here awhile. I could use some good meals.”

I patted her thick, flabby arm. “Thanks, uh, Mrs.—” I paused, wondering what to call her. I didn’t remember if Sky had mentioned a name or not.