Lord of the Black Isle (13 page)

“Remember, 'tis wise to exercise caution in all matters, and better to have a thousand enemies outside the castle than one enemy within.”

He was reminded that one could never be too careful; therefore, on the morrow he would send one or two of his cousins to the Isle of Mull to hear the Mackinnon's story. He would wait to make his decision regarding Elisabeth Douglas until after they returned.

He frowned suddenly as he realized he would have to resort to duplicity, for he did not want the Mackinnon to think he was holding his sister-in-law captive. The thought did rankle, for he was a man mentally faithful to himself; a man who adhered firmly and devotedly to his beliefs, and honesty in all things was one of them. But, there were times when necessity overruled honesty, and only time would prove if he had been wise to do so.

In the meantime, he would give Elisabeth time to prove herself, and he hoped she would be both trustworthy and truthful.

She shrank from words, thinking of the scars they leave,

which she would be left to tend when he had gone.

If he spoke the truth, she could not bear it;

if he tried to muffle it with tenderness,

she would look upon it as pity.

—“The Blush” (1958)

Elizabeth Taylor (1912–1975)

British novelist and short-story writer

After being around the Mackinnons with their large family of seven brothers and four sisters, it was both unexpected and extraordinary to find herself thrust into an almost all-male household, with only Ailis to offer her companionship, along with five male cousins. There was something not right about it, for it seemed ill fitting, like a hastily sewn garment.

She mentioned such to Ailis, as she took Elisabeth on a tour of Aisling Castle.

“I hope you are comfortable here, for I find your companionship a blessing. Ye canna know how happy I am to have ye here, for I have missed having another woman that is part of the family. Caitrina was the first to leave when she decided to serve the church, and then my sister Janet died. After that, it seemed the dying would never stop and when Mara died, I knew I would be next, but it turned out to be Caitrina.”

Elisabeth replied, “Your family has endured so much. When I saw all of the graves that day at the cemetery… How can I explain it other than to say I cannot imagine losing so many members of your family? I kept asking myself how it was possible that you would lose four sisters. How did that happen? Was there a natural disaster? Was there a plague, a sickness that went through the family?”

Ailis shook her head. “It was many things. We lost Grainne and Mara to a fever. Grainne was the baby of the family. She was only nine when she died. Mara was thirteen. She died a week after Grainne left us. 'Twas fitting in a way, for the two o' them were verra close.”

Elisabeth searched for consoling words, but words escaped her. Before she could think of something to say, Ailis led her to a room very much like a sitting room, and there she saw sewing baskets and needlepoint stretched upon frames, a cross-stitch of what looked like Aisling Castle, and farther over, a partially knit garment. She realized that these things were left by the dead sisters, and a wrenching sadness consumed her. It was unbelievable, but these things must have been sitting here just as their owners left them the last time they walked from this room, smiling and laughing, never dreaming they would not live long enough to finish them. “These belonged to your sisters?”

“Aye, everything is just as they left it,” she replied, with a gaze around the room, and Elisabeth could almost feel the sadness of evoked memories reaching out to curl its arms around her.

Ailis took a deep breath. “This is where we all gathered, for each of us loved our time together away from the goings-on in the rest of the castle. I suppose I should put it all away, fer 'tis always a sadness that greets me whenever I come here.”

“I will help you pack them away,” Elisabeth said, for she could well understand the lure of this lovely, peaceful room, for it was smaller and more intimate than the solar, because it was not expected to accommodate so many people.

They returned to the solar, which was a room of comfort and status with a large fireplace, decorative woodwork, beautifully worked tapestries and wall hangings, and a Celtic prayer carefully cross-stitched by young hands.

Ailis drew back a bulky drape, and behind it was a painting of a large and happy family. Elisabeth's gaze rested upon the majestic image of Aisling Castle in the background. She counted a mother, father, and nine children. “This was your family portrait?”

“Aye, 'twas the last time we were all gathered like this, for Grainne died a few months after it was painted, and then, one by one, they all began to disappear.”

Elisabeth, her heart pierced with the sadness of such overwhelming loss, asked, “What of your brothers?”

“Our brother William was killed in battle against Clan Ross. Archibald was badly wounded in the same battle and died a few weeks later. Three years later, Hugh was attacked by a dog while hunting and died of
canis
furibundus
. 'Twas said the dog was cursed, for it went mad after it had eaten the sacrament.”

Canis
furibundus…
Elisabeth stared at a delicately wrought ebony screen, as she thought back to her years of taking Latin.
Canis
furibundus
, mad dog, was nothing more than what the Romans magniloquently called, in layman's terms, rabies.

“And so, out of many children, only two,” Ailis said. “I pray every night that naught will happen to David.”

Elisabeth could understand the feeling of complete and utter loss that Ailis felt, for it was similar to the wrenching sense of loss she and her sister Isobella experienced over the loss of their family who would not even be born for several hundred years. She put her arms around Ailis and patted the braided coils of her silken strawberry-blonde hair. “I am sorry you know so much about suffering.”

Ailis smiled wanly, looked away as if giving herself a mental shake, then said with a burst of newfound energy, “I almost forgot to tell ye that the semestair from Avoch, employed to make us dresses, gowns, and linen fer our beds, will be coming on the morrow.”

Semestair?
Elisabeth thought about that word a moment before she decided it had to be the word for
seamstress.
“That is very kind of you, but I won't be staying much longer so I don't really need new clothes, for I wear a habit at Elcho Priory,” she said.

“Aye, ye do need to see the semestair,” said Ailis, “fer David said ye wouldna be leaving Aisling anytime soon.”

Elisabeth tried to hide her ruffled feelings, for she did not wish to drag sweet Ailis into an issue she had with her brother. But Elisabeth was angry about being kept here when it served no purpose. She was an educated woman. She had much to offer in the way of healing. She could save lives and change the way medicine was practiced if she wasn't held back by the likes of David Murray, the Earl of Kinloss. She wanted to learn and practice medicine, and she was very excited about the things she learned at Soutra Aisle. She had only begun to use them at Elcho Priory, and now that had all changed and she did not understand why. Why was she being denied the opportunity?

Suddenly, she had a very strong suspicion just who it was that might have caused all of it, for where was Black Douglas, and why did he allow all of this to happen?

After all,
she
had been kidnapped by the MacLeans and had her wedding canceled by the King's regent. Her fiancé was forced to marry the Earl of Bosworth's daughter, then she was almost kidnapped again by the MacLeans and now was basically kidnapped by the Earl of Kinloss. Just what did she need to do to get a little sympathy from Black Douglas… start moaning over the fact that she couldn't find
her
own Mr. Darcy, as Izzy did? “Fair is foul and foul is fair,” to quote Shakespeare, for she thought of Douglas as their guardian and noble protector, but in her case, he was looking more and more like a devious plotter and anything but a champion for her cause.

Elisabeth realized suddenly that her thoughts had wandered off and Ailis was patiently waiting for them to wander back in her direction. “I'm sorry, Ailis, I fear I let my red hair get the best of me. Since it seems I will be staying at Aisling longer than I anticipated, you are right about my needing additional clothing. A visit from the semestair will be most welcome.”

“I am going to the mews to exercise my hawk. Will ye accompany me?”

“Oh my, I know nothing about hawking,” Elisabeth said.

“I can teach you,” Ailis said. “In fact I would like very much to do that. It would be like having one of my sisters back.”

“That was a lovely thing to say, Ailis.”

When Ailis did not respond, Elisabeth knew she was waiting for her to finish, but Elisabeth did not plan on doing so until she saw the hopeful expression and knew she would be the worst sort of wretch if she cruelly said no. Idiot that she was, she blurted out a cheerful, “And of course I will go with you.”

As they walked down to the mews, Ailis explained that the term “mews,” in falconer's language, meant a place where hawks were put at the molting season, and where they cast their feathers. She also explained that hawks were in much demand; a good cast of hawks brought high prices and it was also expensive to keep them. “We dinna have as many as most, and I have heard that King Henry has partridges, pheasants, and herons, and will throw anyone who kills one into prison.”

Elisabeth nodded, for that sounded like something old Henry VIII would do. He was so busy casting people into prison and lopping off heads that she was surprised to hear he had time for falcons.

“Perhaps another day we shall go out when they work the dogs,” Ailis said, “for it is wonderful when a burn is frequented by game and the dogs flush out ducks or other small waterfowl and the handlers remove the hoods and cast off their hawks.”

“I suppose one must be very practiced at this sort of thing to be good at it,” Elisabeth said, searching for something to say and thinking she must concentrate on keeping abreast of things for the general diffusion of useful knowledge.

“Yes, there are those who canna tell a hawk from a hernshaw.”

Well, that certainly hit home! “I'm afraid I'm one of them,” Elisabeth replied. “What is a hernshaw?”

“'Tis a bird. It is known as a heron in England.”

And so passed the afternoon, with Elisabeth advancing her intellectual capacity to encompass things she never dreamed she would remotely consider and finding it enjoyable because of the pleasure it brought to Ailis.

Later that evening when she was settled in her room, she thought about David and wondered how it was possible to feel both a strong attraction and a great deal of annoyance toward the same person. Perhaps it was nothing more than a sexual attraction that would die its own natural death over time. Or, what if it was an attraction she wanted to feel again and to go so far as to have a man in her life again?

She was at a loss as to how to explain her feelings for him even to herself. He was a man she barely knew, yet they had kissed quite thoroughly and very shortly after she met him. She was reminded that she hadn't participated in that kind of thrill kissing for many a year. She reminded herself, as well, that none of this really mattered, for whatever attraction
he
felt had evaporated when she could not perform a miracle and save Caitrina. And yet, he had kissed her by the swing…

Elisabeth was sympathetic concerning David, for he had suffered an inordinate amount of loss with the deaths of so many family members. Naturally he had wanted desperately to keep the two sisters who remained alive, but he ventured off course when he allowed his desperation to override his logic in forgetting that a doctor is a healer, not a performer of miracles.

And then he took it a step further, for now he not only blamed her but added to that punishment in the form of disallowing her to return to Elcho Priory. Such behavior confused her, for one moment he was holding her a virtual prisoner and the next he was kissing her, or to put it more plainly, one minute he acted like he was attracted to her and the next he completely ignored her. She was starting to feel like a yo-yo. It was strange how much one could learn about a person if they reflected on their observations while alone when all of the emotions were removed.

And what good did all of this reflection do? Nothing more than that she was beginning to fill out the blank page titled “Lord David Murray, 3rd Earl of Kinloss,” which should at some point lead to understanding the complicated man he was. He was a proud man, and sometimes that pride could make him seem harsh, cold, and unfeeling. He had seen many of the family and friends he loved disappear out of his life long before they should have. But what saddened her the most was that he blamed himself for not only his father's death, but the deaths of his sisters as well.

He had assumed the title of earl upon his father's death, neither happy nor sad about being the only remaining son and therefore assuming the title. He simply accepted it because it was his duty to do so, and now that he had it, he would perform the role to the best of his ability. He had never been in love, so he had no baggage in that department. And the thing that twisted her heart the most was that his father had never gotten over the fact that of all his sons, David would be the one to stay alive and follow him as the Earl of Kinloss.

Thump… thump… thump…

Was that a sign of some sort from Sir James, she wondered. She paused, listening, but the sound did not come again, and her thoughts returned to Lord Kinloss once more.

She had a feeling he was not the kind of man to fall in love overnight. He was slow to trust, and probably even slower to open his heart and show a woman what lay secreted inside it. And she had no earthly idea why she was allotting so much time to this, for she was not going to be a permanent fixture around Aisling Castle. Her future lay elsewhere, and she intended to look for it.

That night, she lay awake for what seemed an eternity, looking at a full moon sliding through the window and casting a mellow, golden light over the entire room, which made it easy to lie awake thinking. Had she been wrong about her future? Was ministering to the sick something that would not be possible for her? And if it was, why were there so many things happening to prevent her from fulfilling her destiny to be a doctor? Was her life indeed hers, her life to live and make her own decisions and follow the leadings of her heart? Or was she nothing more than a puppet on a string, and the strings were being pulled by someone else?

She sat up and dangled her legs over the side of the bed, debating whether she should try once more to sleep or give up with the idea altogether. Then she stood and began to pace the room to see if that made her tired enough to sleep.