Lori Austin (5 page)

Eight

When Seth arose with the dawn, he felt good. Remarkable, in fact, in the face of what had happened last night. But if he’d come out of every other spell with Ella in his arms, he would never have needed to drown his fears with a bottle. He hadn’t touched whiskey since he’d arrived in Winchester, and he hadn’t missed it.

As Seth dressed, his mind went back to the previous night. He couldn’t believe that he’d kissed Ella, or that she’d let him. In times past, his behavior would have earned him a shotgun wedding. The prospect wasn’t as unappealing as it should have been.

From the front porch, he enjoyed the sight of a cool mist hovering over the fields. Soon the heat of the sun would wash the fog away, but right now it appeared as if heaven had come to Virginia.

Seth took a deep breath of the damp morning air. What if he stayed? Married Ella, raised these children, and had a few more?

They’d all starve, that’s what. The only way to keep them alive was for him to return to Boston and an existence he loathed.

The door opened, and Cal stepped out. The boy looked as if he hadn’t slept a wink.
Good.
He needed to learn that actions had consequences. Always.

Cal joined him at the porch rail, and together they watched the mist disappear.

“Where did you get them?” Seth asked.

“I didn’t buy candy yesterday—’cept for Delia.”

“Hmm.” Seth had paid for his own torture. He couldn’t fault the boy’s cleverness. “You lied to me.”

“Yes, sir.”

“I understand that you want me off your place. I’d feel the same way.”

Cal glanced at Seth quickly from beneath his overgrown bangs. “You would?”

“Sure. You were handling things just fine without me. Then a stranger, and a Yankee to boot, shows up and starts taking over. Hard for a man to just sit back and let that go.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Seth saw Cal straighten, throw his shoulders back, nod. He stifled a smile.

“So while I can understand what you did, even applaud it, I can’t let the lying pass. When I leave, you’ll be the man here again, and you have to set a good example. Honorable men don’t lie or cheat.”

“No, sir.”

“I think a day digging holes in the field behind the apple tree ought to make you think twice about lying again, don’t you?”

“Sure will.”

Seth let his smile break free. “Have breakfast and get started, then.”

Cal paused at the door. “I didn’t mean to scare you with the firecrackers.”

Seth’s smile faded. “You heard?”

Cal hung his head, nodded. “When you came I only saw you as the enemy. You were alive and my father was dead. It made me mad.”

“Me, too.”

The boy shot him another quick glance. “I’ve seen our soldiers come back all pale and jumpy. But I never thought about Yanks havin’ the same troubles.”

“We do.”

“I guess that would follow. Anyway, I’m sorry I did what I did.”

Cal disappeared into the house. Seth felt as if he’d turned a corner, though he wasn’t sure to where.

***

The weeks that followed were the happiest Ella could recall. Seth and Cal had come to an understanding. Not that they’d suddenly become pals and gone fishing, but Cal no longer plotted tricks and Seth no longer avoided him.

With the lessening of tension between the two “men” of the house, the other children relaxed, as well. Joshua followed Seth around like a newborn fawn after its mother, the girls climbed into his lap whenever he sat down, and Gaby continued to adore him. The baby had known from the beginning that Seth was someone special.

Ella found herself humming as she worked, dreaming simple dreams of a prosperous farm and children of her own. Several times while she watched Seth repairing the barn or the corral fence, she slipped into delicious fantasies of clandestine meetings and midnight kisses.

Seth had been with them for over five weeks, and Ella could barely recall what it had been like when he was not. She didn’t want to contemplate what it would be like when he left.

“Let’s all go on a picnic,” Seth announced one heated Saturday afternoon.

The children jumped up and down, clamoring their agreement. Seth swept Delia, then Elizabeth into his arms, put one on each hip and twirled them round and round in a circle of sunshine. Their giggles punctuated his laughter, and Ella’s heart filled with love. She turned away as tears sparked in her eyes.

He was no longer the enemy. He’d become something much more dangerous indeed.

“All right,” she said briskly to hide her softer emotions. “I’ll pack a basket. We’ll eat by the creek. The children can go wading afterward.”

Within the hour, all seven of them lounged beneath the shade of an ancient dogwood tree. Water gurgled over smooth stones and a lukewarm breeze stirred the branches above them. Contentment flowed through Ella’s soul.

“I love it here,” she murmured, watching the children stick their toes into the creek, then shriek with laughter.

“Me, too,” Seth whispered as he rubbed Gaby’s back. The baby was nearly asleep on the blanket between them.

Their eyes met. Ella leaned forward. So did he.

“Ella!” Cal shouted. “Delia fell in.”

They pulled back with a guilty gasp. Ella glanced at the children. Cal had his hand on a dripping Delia’s shoulder as he marched her toward them. No one stared at Ella in reproach. No one had seen anything amiss.

She looked at Seth. His eyes promised a repeat of their one-time embrace. Her body tingled in anticipation.

The next several minutes were spent undressing the little girl and hanging her clothes up to dry. Then she fell asleep beside her sister, wearing nothing but a damp shimmy. Elizabeth soon joined them. The boys chased tiny flitting fish through the shallows.

“I’m going to follow the creek aways,” Seth said. “I won’t be long.”

Ella nodded, then lay down next to the girls.

A shadow passed over the sun. Had she fallen asleep?

Confused, Ella opened her eyes. The silhouette of a man blocked the light. At first she thought Seth had returned and she smiled in welcome. Then a second man joined the other and her smile froze.

“Howdy do, pretty lady.”

Alarmed, Ella sat up. She blinked quickly to make the dancing stars of sunlight fade. When her vision cleared, she saw three men in a circle around her and the girls.

They were rough and dirty, desperate from all appearances. From the sound of the man’s voice and the tattered remnants of their uniforms, they were desperate Yankees—either former soldiers who’d gone home to find nothing left for them there, or deserters fled south to pick over the dead. They were nothing she hadn’t encountered before, many times.

Ella’s hand crept to her pocket and her heart gave a painful thud. Of course, she’d never encountered any before without a gun.

She cursed the feminine impulse that had made her change to a more attractive dress before they left. Her derringer still rested in the pocket of her blue gown, which hung on a peg in her room.

Her gaze drifted to the creek. The boys were headed in their direction at a run. She shook her head, but that only served to make the intruders turn that way.

“Well, whatta we got here? More of ya. You just come on over and sit down next to yer ma.”

“That’s right,” Ella said brightly. “Come sit by me.”

The boys did as they were told, but they didn’t look happy.

Ella cut a glance back to the creek, hoping, praying to see Seth return. Nothing was there but the wind across the water.

“We’ve come a long way,” the first man said.

His companions appeared tongue tied or mute. Ella didn’t care for the way that they stared.

“You must be hungry.” Ella shoved the picnic basket forward with her toe. “Help yourself.”

“Oh, we intend to.” He grinned, exposing several gaps where teeth ought to be. “To more than the food.”

Cal tensed at her side. Ella laid her hand on his arm. Nothing would be gained by fighting. Not only were these men desperate, they were armed. Or at least the one with the big mouth was.

The three fell on the remnants of the picnic like wild animals. Their smacking lips and magnificent belches awoke all the children but Gaby. Ella gathered them behind her and waited. Where on earth had Seth gone?

When they were done, the leader crooked his finger at her. “Come with me.”

“I don’t think that I will.”

“Think again.” He drew his pistol and pointed it at the baby. Ella leaped to her feet.

“Cal,” she said, her eyes on the gun. “You keep everyone here, all right?”

He didn’t answer. She glanced at him, but he was looking at the creek. She did, too. And nearly fainted with relief.

Seth had returned.

***

As the situation grew clear, Seth’s fury became so great he could barely control his need to shoot all three of the men dead where they stood. But he wouldn’t do so in front of the children—unless he had no choice.

He’d heard there were those who preyed on the South, believed it, too, but he was still shocked to see former Union soldiers behaving like pigs.

As if they sensed him, the three turned. The one with the gun grabbed Ella and put the barrel against her forehead. Seth’s fury boiled, but he forced himself to remain calm. One thing he’d learned in the war: emotion got people killed.

“Soldier, I hope you have a damned good reason for your behavior,” Seth snapped.

The man blinked at Seth’s tone. Perhaps used to following orders, he hesitated, but only for an instant. “I’m not a soldier no more.”

Seth’s lip curled. “Obviously.”

The stranger’s face darkened at the insult. “Who the hell are you?”

“Major Seth Torrance. And you’re on my land.”

“You don’t sound like no Reb to me.”

“There aren’t any more Rebs. Or haven’t you heard?”

“I’ve got me one right here,” he sneered. “And a passel of little ones, too. They’ll be Rebs until they die. They don’t change just because a piece of paper says that they do.”

Seth took a few steps closer, and the man pressed the gun more firmly against Ella’s head. “Hold on there,
Major.
Drop them Colts.”

Seth’s eyes met Ella’s. She was afraid, though not as terrified as one might expect. She’d been taking care of herself and the children for quite a while now. No doubt she’d met men like this before. He’d respected her strength and her courage from the first. Seeing her calm in the face of this danger only made Seth admire her more.

He reached for the buckle on his gun belt and Ella frowned. But Seth would never take any chances with her life.

He dropped the weapons, spread his hands wide. “Now what?”

“Now we take the lady off for a little private party, and you stay here with the brats.”

“I don’t think so.”

“You don’t get to think.”

“But I just can’t help myself. Gaby, wake up,” he shouted.

His sharp, loud voice roused the baby from a sound slumber. As always, she woke up howling.

The sudden noise made all three men glance at the baby. The gun came away from Ella’s head for an instant, and she slammed her elbow into her captor’s belly. He released her.

Seth grabbed the gun and they struggled, but not for long. At West Point he’d learned to be honorable, dutiful, an officer. But in the war he’d learned something equally valuable. How to fight hand-to-hand and dirty.

Seth’s knee hit the stranger’s privates so hard he fell to the ground and appeared to choke on them.

A scream from the second man made Seth spin that way, only to find Elizabeth had bitten his ankle. Ella punched him square on the jaw and down he went. He didn’t move. The third tried to run away and tripped. Cal and Joshua landed on his back and went to work.

Seth smiled. They made a pretty good team.

Nine

While Seth drove the ruffians into town, hogtied and gagged in the back of the wagon, Ella brought the children home. Fearing they’d be upset, crying, and unable to rest, she was surprised when they excitedly discussed the afternoon’s activities like an adventure.

No one seemed the worse for their exploits. After taking baths and eating supper, they went to sleep without a quiver. Perhaps taking part in the downfall of what had frightened them had allowed the children to get past it more easily.

Such was not the case for Ella. She sat on the porch with the shotgun across her lap and trembled. She’d been terrified that something would happen to one of the children or to Seth.

The echo of a horse’s hooves rambled down the lane ahead of the horse. Ella’s hands tightened on the weapon until she saw the familiar outline of Seth’s horse, her wagon, his head. She stood and waited for him to come to her.

After unhitching the animal and taking care of its needs, Seth joined Ella on the porch. “Everyone asleep?” he murmured.

“Yes. As soon as their heads hit the pillows, I think.”

“Too much excitement.”

“Absolutely.”

Ella released her death grip on the gun. Her fingers ached with the force she had applied. She didn’t know if she’d ever be able to leave the house again without it.

The leering face of the soldier flashed before her eyes; she felt again the chill of the pistol against her temple and shivered.

Then again, maybe she shouldn’t.

“Are you all right, Ella?”

She glanced up to find Seth staring at her hands, which had somehow crept back to the gun and locked there. She snatched them away, then sighed. “I’m scared.”

“You’re never scared. Not even when that fool had the gun against your head. I’ve never met anyone braver than you, Gabriella Fontaine.”

She laughed, and the sound was a bit crazed. “I’m only brave when I have a gun and I’m sure that I can win.”

“Which just makes you smart, too.”

Ella shook her head. “Seth, I was so scared this afternoon I thought my heart would burst out of my chest.”

“Anyone would be with a pistol pressed to their head.”

“I wasn’t afraid for me, but for the children and—”

She hesitated. But the events of the day had convinced her of one thing. Somewhere along the line she’d fallen in love with the enemy.

When had that happened? Perhaps the first time he’d held Gaby and the baby had stopped crying, then fallen asleep against his broad, strong chest.

Then again, it could have been the morning he’d taught Joshua how to whittle, his soft, gentle voice and infinite patience a balm to the child’s troubled heart. The sight of the boy’s brilliant smile after he’d mastered the task had tugged at Ella’s troubled heart, too.

Or had it been when he’d forgiven Cal without a qualm, punishing the child like a fond father, then letting the matter fade into the past?

Maybe she’d tumbled into love when he’d played hide-and-seek with the girls until the sun went down, then collapsed with them in a heap on the cool grass and showed them the stars.

It could
not
have been when he trembled in her arms, then kissed her until she forgot who she was, who he was, who they’d both once been.

The war had taught her many things, the chief of which guided her now. Life was too short to hide what she felt. Even if Seth left tomorrow, at least they would have tonight.

Ella looked into his face. “I was scared for you.”

“Me?” He grinned. “You’ve been trying to get rid of me since I got here. Seems having a bunch of renegade Yankees shoot me would have worked right into your plans.”

“Don’t joke about such things.”

His smile faded. “Hey.” He came closer, put his fingertips to her chin, and lifted it so he could peer into her eyes. “You were really scared, weren’t you?” His voice held a note of wonder. “For me?”

She stood, put the shotgun aside and went into his arms. “For you,” she agreed. “Hold me, Seth. Make me forget them. Make me feel safe again.”

She offered him her lips, and without hesitation he took them. The kiss was gentle at first, different from the one they had shared before, yet somehow the same.

He tasted like the night, midnight blue and cool. His arms strong at her back pressed her close, kept her safe. Images of him with no shirt and the smooth supple sheen of his skin in the moonlight made her want to touch him as she’d never touched any man before.

What she wanted was dangerous—as forbidden as he was. But nevertheless she wanted it. She might never have another chance to discover the secrets between a man and a woman. If she was to learn them, she would learn them with him.

Ella broke the kiss. His mouth followed hers—damp, seeking—then his eyes slowly opened. He touched her face. “You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever known.”

She didn’t know what to say to that. No one had ever called her amazing before. She was who she was—a product of centuries of women who had loved this land, their men, their children. She did what she had to do. But having Seth call her amazing made Ella feel amazing, too. Still she wanted to know what he saw in her that no one else ever had.

“Why?” she asked.

“Why are you amazing? Why aren’t you? You work from sunup until sundown with no complaint. You’ve taken on the responsibility of someone else’s children, and you love it. Love them. I wish . . .”

He stared over her head into the night. A wistful, yearning expression crossed his face.

“What do you wish?” she whispered, hoping against hope it would be what she wished for, too.

“Nothing. Never mind. You’re just . . . special.”

“Like you?” His startled, confused glance made her smile. “Everything you’ve said about me I could say of you. I think you’re pretty amazing, too, Seth Torrance.”

“For an enemy.”

“For anyone.”

Ella recalled when she’d seen every conversation, every encounter as a battle in her own personal war with him. But the war was no longer. The time had come for peace, love, and understanding.

Taking Seth’s hand, Ella led him to the door. Together they climbed the stairs. At his room she stopped and he kissed her again. Sweetly, gently, a brush of his lips and he was gone.

“Good night,” he murmured.

She took a deep breath and dived. “May I come in?”

He blinked. “Pardon me?”

“Your room. May I come in?”

“Why?”

“Why do you think, Seth?”

“Um, well, I, uh—”

It amused her to hear the smooth, in-charge Yankee major stutter. That she could do this to him with a mere kiss made her feel powerful, stronger just by being near him, and some of the pulsing, paralyzing fear that had consumed her all day faded.

She reached out, put her palm against his chest, and pushed him into the room. He stood there with his hands at his sides, clenching, unclenching, confused, uncertain.

Ella shut the door quietly, then propped a chair beneath the knob. “We don’t want any surprise visitors.”

He continued to stare at her as if she were a stranger. “This isn’t a good idea, Ella.”

“On the contrary,” she murmured as she lit the lamp, “it’s the best idea I’ve had in a long, long while.”

She crossed the room quickly, lest he come up with more excuses to keep them from being together tonight. Her hands worked at the buttons of his shirt, needing to feel the warmth and strength of him beneath her palms. When at last she did, he groaned a surrender and kissed her, exploring her mouth as she explored his body.

But touching wasn’t enough. She wanted to see in the flare of the lamplight what had enticed her beneath the moon. So she pulled her mouth away, shoved the shirt from his shoulders, and gazed at his smooth, sun-gilded skin sprinkled with fine, dark hair.

Curious, she twirled her finger around a curl, then spread her palms flat. A finger grazed a nipple, and the nub hardened beneath her touch. More curious still, she flicked both nipples with her thumbs, once, twice, again. Mumbling a curse that sounded like an endearment, he picked her up and carried her to the bed, then followed her down.

His fingers shook as he undressed her, but no more than hers shook as she undressed him. She had never been naked in front of a man—never been naked in front of anyone, in truth, not even herself. Such things were not done. In her world, women even bathed in their shimmies. However, being naked with Seth was not only arousing, but acceptable—more right than anything she had ever known.

His large, newly work-roughened hands caressed her belly. Then his fingertips stepped up each rib until they cupped her breasts. His thumbs flicked over her nipples, once, twice, again, and she understood why he had cursed. Instead she moaned, and when his dark head dipped and his heated mouth replaced his thumb she arched beneath him, then pulled him ever closer.

“We shouldn’t.”

His whisper against her skin made her shiver. She tangled her fingers in his hair and lifted his head so she could see his face.

“We should. Make love to me, Seth. Show me something good can happen after so much bad.”

He stared into her eyes, and she saw love reflected there. Hers alone, or his as well? She wasn’t sure, but it no longer mattered. She needed to be one with him in a way she’d never needed anything else.

He hesitated no longer, teaching her with gentle strokes and whispered endearments the joys of physical love. She smoldered, and when he probed at the source of the fire, she gasped. Their gazes held, as mouth against mouth, flesh against flesh, they found a perfect peace with the joining of their bodies.

The pain she’d expected for her first time was lost in a relief of the fiery ache. Having him inside of her eased the anguish in her soul. If her suspicion was correct and this was the only night they had, at least she’d held him as close as possible for a few moments in time.

A near unbearable tension built at her center whenever he left the shelter of her body. Then he was back, filling her so completely, so wonderfully she tried to hold him forever within by will alone. At last he pulsed deep inside and the pressure broke on wave after wave of sensation.

She stroked his hair and caressed his back while they trembled together. Having Seth there with her made the ever-present fear abate. Foolish. He wasn’t going to stay. She couldn’t depend on him to keep her safe forever. But for now it was nice to have someone to share the burden of the children, the house, the farm, herself.

Seth shifted, and she clutched him to her. “Don’t go.”

“I’m too heavy, Ella.”

“No. No, you’re not. Please, I want to have you near me for a little while longer.”

He didn’t answer, but he didn’t move away, either. She held him and tried not to think of what would happen when he left first her body and then her life. But she couldn’t stop those thoughts from coming; she was, above all else, a practical woman.

She would go on just as she always had. It wasn’t as if she didn’t have plenty to do, those who depended on her. Twenty years from now, she’d look back on this night fondly. But it wouldn’t pain her as much as it did now. At least she hoped not.

Seth raised his head and stared into her face. When he brushed Ella’s hair from her brow, she caught his hand and pulled it to her cheek, nuzzling his palm.

His eyes heated, and he stirred anew within her. She moved her hips upward, desiring once again the closeness they had shared. He muttered her name, then rolled to the side where he lay staring at the ceiling.

For a moment she felt cold, alone, abandoned. Then his hand groped for hers and their fingers entwined.

What would it be like to have him with her for always?