Losing Eva (The Eva Series Book 2) (7 page)

Ellie did what she always did best. She ran.

Everyone knew that she was Jonas’ main girl, and would be looking for her. She was careful to wipe the gun off, and shove it in her purse after she took out the remaining bullets. She was careful to have an alibi.

She was careful not to let anyone see her go into the house, and she was careful to write a “Dear John” letter to Jonas explaining that she was sorry, and that she no longer loved him. She told him that she was going far, far away. And she left it in a place that the cops would easily find it. She planned everything out, hoping to get away. She knew she would run. She had to find Eva. He had so many enemies that it wouldn’t be hard to imagine that one of them did it. She knew where she needed to go, and she wasn’t going to let anyone stop her from getting there.

Momma, Daddy. Ellie tried hard not to let her grief overcome her as she took off on foot. She wanted to crumble on the ground. She wanted to pummel his newly dead body with her small fists.
How could he do that? How could he take them from me forever? Why? Why?
Ellie pushed the thoughts from her head as she ran as fast as she could. The sirens were getting louder, even as she ran further away. She took the back way and ran the two miles where she hid her car and stashed her bags. She ran as if her life depended on it, her body ragged and worn from the drugs that he had filled her with over the years.

It felt as if she had been running forever, and when she finally got to the car, she let out a sob. She jumped in and started the car, careful not to pull out too fast. She didn’t want to get pulled over for something stupid. She just wanted to get away.

I’m going home. Now I’m going home to nothing. NOTHING. They are dead. Who knows how long they’ve been dead! God Dammit, why didn’t he die before he told me what he did? Why?
Ellie gripped the wheel as tight as she could, her knuckles white, tears running down her face uncontrollably. Slow down! Slow down! Ellie looked at the speedometer. Fifty-five in a forty-five. Slow down, you idiot!

Ellie tried to get a hold of herself. She knew that anyone looking in at her through the car windows would think that she was a mess. She wanted to look normal. You needed to look normal. Ellie couldn’t be caught now. There were too many questions. Too many questions that needed answered. But she knew that she couldn’t get those answers alone. She had been gone from home for seven long years. Eva would be ten now.
How long have Momma and Daddy been gone? Oh, Momma!

Ellie pictured Amy in her mind, petite, pretty. Ellie was the spitting image of her, only with dark hair instead of the pretty blonde hair that Amy wore so well. Ellie had been proud of her beautiful mother, and now Amy was dead. Ellie couldn’t stop the picture of Amy’s rotting corpse full of worms from entering her mind.

Her chest felt heavy, and Ellie felt as if she were going to drive off the road. She held the wheel tight, praying for control.

She knew that she had to get away from Jonas. He hadn’t given her a choice.

“Jonas, do you ever want to have a baby with me?” It wasn’t the first time Ellie had ever brought it up. She wanted a child. She wanted someone in her life who loved her unconditionally, who looked up to her and admired her. She wanted to re-create her time with Eva. She wanted to redeem herself for what she had done to Eva. She wanted the nightmares to go away.

“Jesus, Ellie. Do we have to go through this again and again and again? We’ve been talking about it for seven years. You’ve been bringing it up since we ditched the first kid. NO! I. Do. Not. Want. A. Child. Ever.” Jonas couldn’t believe how thick she could be sometimes. He knew that she was still haunted by losing the first one, but he definitely didn’t want another one.

Ellie knew that was the last time that she would ever ask him. She was only about six weeks along, but she knew that she couldn’t afford to have him shoot her up again, or have her abandon this one, too. She knew he would make her. He would make her leave it as a newborn. He would’ve made her leave Eva as a newborn if she had been with him then. But she hadn’t. She had been smart then, and had left him. But then she went back, because she was blinded by love.

Not this time. He won’t take my child away from me again this time!
Ellie knew where he kept his gun, and knew where he kept his bullets. He taught her how to shoot it in order to protect herself, because he had a lot of enemies. Little did he know that she would use it on him.
I was protecting myself, and my baby.

Ellie looked down at her tight small stomach that would soon be swelling with the growth of new life, and she was excited. Jonas hadn’t shot her up for at least three weeks, and she knew that if she were strong, she could stay off the drugs and keep her baby strong and safe. Her body hurt, and her back and legs ached. She craved the drug, wanted it bad.

But she knew that she needed to stay away. She had already gone through a lot of the ups and the downs that the withdrawal took her through, but usually she didn’t have to go through an entire cycle. Jonas always made sure that he shot her up just before she started to go too crazy. But she didn’t let him do it to her every day, just often enough to keep her from crashing too hard. This was the longest she had gone in a long time, but she was doing it for her baby. She didn’t want to screw it up this time.

She didn’t want to lose the baby as she had lost Eva. And she didn’t want to hurt him. Somehow, she knew that it was a boy, though she couldn’t explain how. She was going to name him after her daddy, James. But now Daddy was gone, and it didn’t feel right to name him after a dead man.

Ellie felt her heart breaking. She hated feeling this way. She missed the euphoria of the drug. She missed being happy.

STOP IT! STOP IT! You need to stay straight for your son! You need to find Eva! You can live without it. You can live without the drugs! Go home! You’ll figure it out.

Ellie forgot about the police and recklessly drove about five more miles. She stopped the car in front of a familiar apartment building.

The door to her car opened suddenly, making her jump.

“Shit! Don’t do that to me!” she said angrily.

“I’m sorry, babe. I thought you saw me.” The young man leaned over and kissed her tenderly on the lips. She felt herself melting into him, her whole body leaning in, inviting him as she had already done so many times before.

“I’m sorry. You just scared me.” Ellie smiled. She was so taken with him. He was tall, handsome, with light sandy hair and hazel eyes. He was so different from Jonas, so much kinder to her, so much gentler. When she met him by chance three months ago when he was fixing her car, she knew that he would never treat her the way that Jonas had. She also knew that she wanted him, possibly even needed him.

“Where are we going?” he asked, tossing the duffel bag that he had been holding on his lap in the back seat.

Ellie paused. She needed a solution now that her parents were gone.
John! John will know what to do! John Palmer was Daddy’s Vice President, the man that Daddy had been grooming to be his second in command.
John and his wife, Tricia were always so nice to her, though Ellie had not always returned their kindness.
I wonder if he will help me. He has to help me. Daddy would want him to help me!

Ellie was excited. She knew what she would do.

“We’re going home, babe. We’re going home.” Ellie turned the car toward a familiar road that she hadn’t travelled in nearly a decade.

“IT’S OKAY,” LILY SAID
to the woman. The woman saw Petey coming toward her and fear gripped her for no obvious reason.

“Lily, who is that?” the woman asked, fearful.

“That’s my cousin, Petey. He saved you.” Lily was studying her carefully. The woman seemed delicate, timid.

“Saved me? Saved me from what?” the woman was surprised. She couldn’t imagine that she would ever be in danger. But she couldn’t imagine anything at this point. Her head was still pounding and fuzzy, and she couldn’t focus well on anything.

Lily didn’t want to tell her who she was. It wasn’t her place. Petey had detoured into the kitchen, and he was making his way back to the living room, awkwardly carrying three glasses of orange juice.

“Here ya go,” he said holding one out for Lily and the other one out for the woman. He saw that she was finally awake and figured that she was probably thirsty. The woman took it from him tentatively, almost as though it were a snake. Her fear wasn’t lost on Petey. He had tossed and turned all night trying to figure out what to do. He had brought her back to the house, but had no idea what he was going to do with Amy Harper now.

Lily looked at Petey evenly, her gray eyes cool and steely. “She wants to know who she is Petey, and what you saved her from.”

Petey looked surprised. He wasn’t sure what Amy was going to remember, but he hadn’t expected that her memory would be completely gone. He was comfortable leaving her overnight with Lily, because he knew that his cousin knew how to handle herself. With a father like hers, she was far more capable than she looked.

“Um, uh, she doesn’t remember anything?” Petey was talking to his cousin, ignoring the pretty woman sitting on the couch staring up at him.

“I don’t,” Amy said bewildered that he was talking about her, yet ignoring her at the same time.

“I’m sorry, Ma’am.” Petey said, embarrassed by his rudeness. His Momma wouldn’t be very happy with him right now.

Petey was confused. How can she have no memory of what happened? How can she not remember watching Sy stab her husband, and watching Sy and I fight? How can she forget me killing Sy, trying to defend her? Petey was out of his league.

“I think we should have breakfast,” Lily said breaking the uncomfortable silence that was starting to fill the room. “And then we need to figure out what to call you,” she said looking pointedly at Amy.

“Okay,” Amy said miserably. “Maybe you should take me to a doctor?” she said hopeful.

“Well, um... Lily is kind of a doctor,” Petey said shyly. He had been watching Amy for some time and was taken with her beauty. Those long days staking her out so that they would know when to pounce on them had him watching her for hours, sometimes days. It didn’t matter to him that she was in her late thirties. Petey was in his mid-twenties, but he knew a beautiful woman when he saw one. Even after everything she had been through, she was just a natural beauty.

“Kind of a doctor?” Amy said tilting her head at him. “What does that mean?”

“She’s an animal doctor, but a doctor nonetheless.” Petey was getting frustrated. He felt like Amy was making fun of him.

“Oh,” Amy said blankly. She looked at Petey with curiosity. He looked familiar to her, yet she was afraid of him. He stood tall and awkward in front of her, avoiding her eyes. He looked strong and capable but strangely shy, and she was confused by him. “Well, what is my name?”

Lily ducked out of the room, careful to stay close by in case Petey needed her. She wanted to protect him as she always had, but she knew that he would need to face Amy alone.

Petey looked at her blankly, his palms starting to sweat. He knew that this moment was coming, and he still didn’t know what to tell her. “Uh, I don’t know. Let’s call you… uh, let’s call you Jessica.”

“Is that my name?” Amy said stubbornly.

“I don’t know. But I have to call you something!” Petey said nervously.

“Why Jessica? Does my name start with a ‘J’?”

“I don’t know! I don’t know if your name starts with a ‘J’. If you don’t like it, then you can choose something else.” Petey hated facing Amy alone. He looked around desperately for Lily. “What do you want me to call you?”

“Jessica? That doesn’t sound like it fits me.” Amy said thoughtfully. “What about…Carly? I like the name Carly.”

“Fine. We can call you Carly.” Petey was ready for the conversation to be over. He never liked talking to women, and this one in particular made him very nervous.

“I want to leave. Do you know where I live? Do you know who I am? I just want to go home,” Amy said, her voice low but demanding. She didn’t want to be in this house anymore. She wanted to go wherever she belonged, and she knew that she didn’t belong here.

“I don’t know who you are or where you live.” Petey lied, avoiding her gaze. “You just need to stay here for now, and that’s final.”

Amy stared up at him defiantly. He towered over her, but she glared at him. She was angry. She knew from the way he was refusing to look at her that he knew more than what he was telling. She stood up quickly, determined to make him look at her. Suddenly, the floor gave way beneath her and she felt herself fall to the floor.

Before she knew it, Lily was by her side, grabbing her arm gently, but sturdily.

“It’s okay,” Lily said in a soothing voice. “You’re okay. You just need to take it easy and not be in such a hurry. It’s going to take you some time.”

Amy nodded very slowly. She was dizzy, and her head was pounding. It felt like someone was hitting her in the back of the head with an axe, and she was starting to feel nauseous.

“She don’t look so good, Lily,” Petey said concerned.

“Let’s take you upstairs to the spare room so that you can have some peace and quiet,” Lily said taking her by the arm and leading her toward the stairway.

Amy went with her slowly, dragging her feet. She hated feeling so helpless, but she had no choice and nowhere else to go. She looked at Petey, her eyes turning hard for one second. He refused to look at her, but he could feel her growing resentment bouncing off him. It made him uncomfortable, and he looked down at the ground until she was out of sight.

A few moments later, Lily came silently down the stairs. She sat in the chair across from where Petey had settled on the old couch. They sat and stared at each other, exhausted.

“What are we going to do with her?” Lily finally asked, breaking the silence.

“I don’t know,” Petey said quietly. “I don’t know. Their disappearance is all over the news. We can’t let her know. She can’t know.”