Losing Him (10 page)

He grabbed the top and pulled it over his head. While standing there shirtless, I leaned into him and licked around his nipple. My hand slid down into his pants, getting a feel for what was in there. He was so hard, turned on by emotions and fueled by stress. I pulled out my hand and backed away from him, still looking deeply into his eyes. Since my dress was already unzipped, it fell to the floor with ease. Then my slip followed.

I reached behind me, while taking another step back, and removed my bra and then my panties. I stood there in front of him, naked and fragile. “I want you, Jesse.” My hands slid up my skin and cupped both of my breasts. I looked down and watched myself. Then without knowing his exact thoughts, I turned around and started walking into my bedroom. Our conversation was far from done, but as I heard him coming up behind me, I knew he wasn’t going to change his mind. I needed him after the day that I’d had. I just needed to forget about everything, like he promised he could make me do.

Chapter 12

Jessie

When it came to sleeping with Heather, I lost all willpower. Her body was my kryptonite, never refusing to taunt me until I broke. I wanted her, not because of her sad life, but because I felt so connected to her. When she told me that I was the only man that had loved her, she was telling the truth. Even though I couldn’t say it, I still felt it. Try as I might, I couldn’t get her out of my system.

She said she wasn’t done telling me the story, but how bad could it be? She probably lied and told him that they had sex. He probably told his wife and they had to decide whether to stay together or not. The secret had to be why she felt so bad. I couldn’t think of anything else that would cause such a fuss. Maybe Miranda let him for a while. I could see why she’d hate Heather. She probably felt threatened.

Sitting there, across from Heather, as she told me her story from the beginning, made me see just how broken hearted she was. I still didn’t know how she got involved with Rick and she’d explained that she dated Conner, but he used her for revenge. I guess because she hurt his sister so badly. That’s why everyone knew the truth.  It wasn’t like she had plotted to kill someone, or inflicted any kind of harm on anyone. She was just a broken hearted human being. How much more could she withstand before she burst?

Then, of course, she started talking about having a threesome. My mind went right into the gutter with that one. I was sitting there hearing her talking, but picturing her and another chick naked and getting it on. I think for five minutes I lost track of where I was and put myself into some fantasy where I watched her touching and licking all over another woman.

Of course, that didn’t help me from holding back my sexual desire for her. It only added fuel to the fire. She was standing there, so emotional, but still so sexy. I looked at how her cleavage hung out of the top of her sleeveless black dress. I thought about her breasts and her perfect little nipples. Then I thought about the reaction I got when I sucked on them.

Moments later, my lips were on hers and I was following her naked ass into the bedroom. Upon arriving in her room, she pulled me on top of her. I could feel her breasts against my chest, and leaned up to be able to run my hand over them. She bit down on her lip and closed her eyes. I didn’t touch her because she’d done something for me. I didn’t tell her to keep our sex a secret. I wanted her because she was sexy and she made me feel like no other woman had. She didn’t have to worry about me running to someone else. As much as I’d wanted to walk away before, it wasn’t ever because I had someone else waiting for me.

Getting over Heather wouldn’t be easy for me. For as many reason as I hated her, I loved her just as much. It was that indecision on my part that kept landing me right back in bed with her. 

I slipped my hand back over her ass, cupping her soft skin. She kissed me, licking my teeth as she pulled away. I teased her with my tongue, not letting her have it. She lifted her head, trying to touch hers to mine. I knew she got off it.

Finally, I kissed her full on the lips. Our tongues played together inside of our mouths while our bodies grinded. My pants needed to come off, because they were the only things keeping me from being inside of her.

Heather matched my eagerness by reaching down and tugging on them until they loosened. She used her legs and kicked them down, allowing me enough space to kick them off the rest of the way. She stuck her face against my neck and bit down on my flesh. My cock throbbed, reacting to the pain she was inflicting on me. I wanted it more, so I dug both hands into her ass cheeks, squeezing until I could feel my nails digging into her skin. She cried out and bit me on my shoulder while rocking her body over mine.

We couldn’t call it dry humping since I could feel her wetness as she slid her body over my stomach. She was ready for me and as much as I wanted to dive in, I also needed more this time.

I flipped her over easily, laying her down on her back. With little guidance her legs separated and I got my first glimpse of her sweet nectar. I ran my fingers over it, spreading her natural lubricant over those pretty little lips. She tugged on one of her nipples as she watched me touching her, so I kept doing it. Then, without being asked, I flicked her little clit with my thumb, getting off on watching her body react. With each riffle of my finger her body shuddered.

I could tell what she wanted next and my mouth watered just thinking about it. It had been so long since we’d done other things to each other. These types of actions were for two people that were in a relationship, not just having a quickie in the shower to blow a load. I wanted to taste her pussy. I wanted to feel her smooth shaved skin rubbing against my lips.

Heather’s movements were making me crazy, so I stopped wasting time. I removed my thumb and let my tongue get to work. She tasted just like I remembered and soon, after just a few flicks, I sent her into a moment of bliss. Her body jerked and bounced as she let go of all of her frustrations. I continued pleasing her until she settled back down. When she looked down, I kissed her there again, paying attention to her licking her own lips. It was a sign that she was ready for more and I was ready to oblige.

I sat up and teased her entrance with my cock. She reached for her breasts again, but this time, I replaced her hand with my own, twisting her little nipples in between my fingers. The harder I pinched, the more she cried out. I was so turned on that I could have finished without ever being inside of her.

Her hand reached down and grabbed me, stroking me, while our mouths met for a kiss. My body was so hot for her. I knew she wanted more and I was ready to give it to her.

Heather was used to rolling over and putting her ass up, except I didn’t want her that way. I wanted to hold her and kiss her while I pumped my rock hard dick into her. As I entered, she moaned and met my mouth for another kiss. The sensations ran through me as her inner walls filled with my erythematic pumps.

We rocked against each other, smacking skin on skin. Our tongues played while our hands explored places we already knew existed. I felt my release coming. It was so close. Heather looked into my eyes as I tried to hold on. I felt my muscles tightening and my body taking over. Three thrusts later, I was collapsing on top of her, out of breath and satiated.

Heather began to cry. No, she started sobbing uncontrolled tears. I wiped them away and more came. I kissed her face, but she still cried. “What’s wrong, babe?”

“I don’t want to lose this. I don’t want to lose you. I just love you so much, Jessie. I know you don’t feel that way about me. I’ve ruined our chance to be happy.” She kept crying harder and harder. There was only one thing left to do; one thing that could calm her down so she could savor the moment. “I’m not going anywhere.”

She shook her head. “Yes you are. You said it yourself. You only came here to help me deal with things. This isn’t real. You just feel sorry for me.”

I pulled her hands away from her face and intertwined our fingers. My lips were covered in her salty kisses as I tried to convince her that I was being serious. “You’re worth fighting for. Our family is worth fighting for.”

Finally she calmed down enough to hear what I was saying. “So, you want us to be a couple again?”

I shrugged. “Nothing is keeping us from being together. I don’t know about you, but I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my chest. I feel like I know the real you.”

For the first time in a long time, I was sure that I wanted to try.

Chapter 13

Heather

I lay in Jessie’s arms, holding on to the moment, because I knew it was about to come crashing down. He wasn’t going to settle for just what I told him. He deserved to know the whole truth. If he really loved me, maybe he could forgive me. Although, he’d said before that it had nothing to do with love.

This was the pivotal moment where I knew I was inexplicably saying goodbye to us ever being together again. I was basically ending our relationship by telling the truth. Nothing had ever hurt so much than thinking that he was going to hate me.

I ran my hands through his hair one last time. He opened his eyes and looked at me. “What’s wrong?”

“Jess, there’s more to the story. I wish there wasn’t, but it would just be a lie. I did something horrible that night that Ty came to my house and I need you to hear me out.”

He sat up on one elbow and looked at me. “So tell me.” While running his fingers through my long hair, I kissed the knuckles of his hand.

“I know you’re going to leave me.” I was already shaking. Jessie could only take so much and hearing what I’d done would send him over the edge.

“Just tell me. You have me naked in bed, for Christ sakes. Where am I going to go?”

I sat up straight and took a few deep breaths. “The night I drugged Ty, I didn’t just tell him that we’d slept together. I made sure there was proof of our encounter.”

“You said you didn’t sleep with him.”

“I didn’t! I swear! I called my friend and she came over. We took off his clothes and I did the same. Then she took pictures of us in bed together. You can use your imagination with that. They’ve all been destroyed, so there’s nothing for me to show you, not that you’d want to see that anyway. It wasn’t my proudest moment.”

He just sat there playing with strands of my hair. “So, that’s what you did to make him think it really happened? Damn, that’s evil. I get why he needed his brother-in-law to help clear his name. I bet his wife was pissed.”

It made me sick thinking about how I had acted. Jessie wasn’t understanding the complexity of the situation. He’d only seen me getting retribution. I opened my mouth to tell him about Miranda and the babies, but he leaned over and kissed me. I pulled away. “Don’t you want to hear the rest of the story?”

“I’ve waited all these years for you to trust me enough to tell me your darkest secrets. Now that you have, I’m tired of pretending I can just walk away from you. Hearing the truth has only made it more apparent that this is exactly where I need to be. I don’t condone what you did, Heather, but I can’t deny that I don’t want us to try and work it out. I’m tired of fighting with you. I’m tired of telling myself that the only way out is to walk away. What kind of man would I be if I did that to you, after everything you’ve been through? I’ve sat back and listened to you say how you didn’t deserve to be loved. I heard you tell me a story of a woman that revolved her life around someone that never wanted to be with her. I could hear the pain in your voice. I know he hurt you. I’m not going to be like him. I just want to know that you’re not going to keep anything else from me ever again. Can you promise me that?”

I heard him saying that he wanted to be with me, but the truth still stood between us. He didn’t know the extent of my actions. Somehow, seeing a light at the end of the tunnel twisted my arm. If I wanted a life with the father of my child, I had to drop the subject and bury it in the past. This was my chance at a new start with Jessie and Jacob. It was a risk that I had to take, because being in his arms was like nothing else that I’d ever experienced in my life. I wanted to hear those three words again coming out of his mouth. I was so close to having it. So, I did what the old Heather would have done. I smiled and pretended to be content with still having a lie between us. “Okay, I promise.” I leaned in and kissed him passionately, letting my tongue side over his briefly. “Now, where were we?”

As much as I wanted to focus on being in bed and naked with Jessie, my heart was torn between the truth and living another lie, after I’d promised that there wouldn’t be anymore.  It was hard to admit to myself that I had a chance at being happy. I’d lost my mother and hope of being able to raise my son with his father. Now, if I played my cards right, I could have something to hold on to.

I felt Jessie pulling me closer to his body. It felt right, the same way it had when we first met each other. I’d missed it so much. “Jess, was yesterday really just a pity fuck for you?”

He opened his eyes and looked at me, sighing and shaking his head. “I think you know the answer already.”

“It would be nice to hear you say those words, but if it’s too soon, I understand.” I was pushing too hard, except wasn’t I allowed to? Wasn’t it obvious that I needed to hear him telling me he loved me?

“I’ll make you a deal. You tell me one last thing and I will say the words. Honestly, I don’t now why you need to hear them. I never said I didn’t.”

I contemplated telling him to forget about it, realizing that his question could destroy the last half hour of happiness and a future that I wanted more than anything else. I’d made him a promise and I wanted to do right by it. “What do you want to know?” I played with his hair and pretended that I wasn’t worried out of my mind. 

He kept holding my hand, reminded me that he was trusting me. We had made progress. I had to keep my hopes up.

“I want to know how you got involved with Rick. From everything you’ve told me, I can’t see you getting to any point that you’d want to be with a married man, who was clearly psychotic.”