Losing Me, Finding You (31 page)

I want that for Gaine, but the asshole is a stubborn motherfucker sometimes.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I ask him as I close the door behind me and give Gaine a look that I hope scares the shit out of him. “Aren't you supposed to be back at that grubby motel?” He frowns at me and Kimmi and looks between the two of us with pursed lips, focusing on a cigarette that's dangling out of her pretty mouth.

“I was, but I came looking for you. I told you, Austin, I need to fucking talk.”

“I'm sorry, Gaine, but what did you want me to do? Kent was standing right friggin' there like he always is.”

“Yeah, well now he's out meeting with Tray Walker.”

I freeze and Kimmi nearly drops her cigarette.

“What?” My voice comes out so low pitched that it sounds like a growl.

“Yeah, well. I wanted to tell you that Kent asked me and Beck to start running drugs last week. We told him okay, so long as it was just weed, but it's not. It's much, much worse than that, Austin.” Gaine licks his lips and brushes his tongue against the piercing in the center of his lip. He doesn't wear a ring there very often, though I can't guess why. It's usually just this tiny dot under his mouth, like a freckle or somethin'. I watch as he bites at it nervously for a moment. “I didn't want to spring this shit on you when you were so busy with … ” He raises his arm and gestures loosely at Kimmi and me. “Whatever it is that you do, but then he started getting on us about making connections with other MCs. I didn't think he was serious until I saw him meeting with Walker on my way over here.”

“Is the whole gang in town?” I ask, wondering what exactly it is that's going on. Is Kent our rat? It just doesn't make sense. Gaine shrugs.

“I don't know. I saw maybe a dozen guys with Walker. Other than that, I'm not sure. I just thought I should let you know because I … ” He trails off for a second and stares at the wall beside my boots before turning his gaze back up to mine and locking on tight. “For what they did to Mireya, I would gladly smash their bikes in again. I would beat 'em dead if I could, just for her.” He stops talking and stares off the distance like he always does, like he's waiting for someone. Suddenly, it clicks.

Mireya.

That asshole has been waiting for Sawyer this whole time?

I stare at him and I know it's true. Things start to make a lot more sense. Now, if I didn't feel like an asshole before, I sure do now. If I'd have known Gaine was into her, I would've backed off.
Shit, damn, and fuck.

“So if Kent really wants me to work with them, I'm out of here because I can't do it. I just friggin' can't.” He shrugs again and sighs like he's finally gotten the weight off his shoulders. “I mean, maybe he's meeting with them about the whole turf war thing, but I doubt it. Sounds like a load of bullshit to me. Since when did we have a turf?”
Since forever ago, my friend. Any bank that we've got a hit on is our turf until it's over. That's the way it's always been and Walker just doesn't get it.
Or does he? I don't like the implications of Kent hanging out with Tray. What the fuck does that even mean? While I get myself lost in thought, Gaine shrugs and squeezes my shoulder, smiles at Kimmi, and turns away without another word. I watch him go in silence.

“So what do we do?” Kimmi asks, sounding like she'd so much rather be upstairs in Margot's arms than down here dealing with this crap. When my mind drifts to Amy, I know that I'm thinking the same way. But then, this is for them. This is for everyone.

“Well, nobody expects us to go in tonight.” I give Kimmi a look and watch her light up. Other than the motion of her hands around the lighter, she doesn't move, looking a lot like a statue in the orange glow of the flame. “Not even Kent. If we go in tonight and get the job done, we can worry about the rest later. That way, no matter what happens, the group will be set for a year, at least. Everybody will be taken care of, and we can beat Bested by Crows at their own, damn game.”

“Okay,” Kimmi says with a sigh, looking over at me with wary eyes. “But I sure as hell hope you know what you're doing.”

When Austin finally comes back, he looks exhausted. His skin is stretched taut over his face and when he smiles at me, it only lasts for an instant, dropping right back into a frown as he waltzes in the room and grabs me around the waist with rough hands.

“Gaine was here looking for you,” I tell him, wanting to make sure I relay the news before I forget. My mind is all riled up with thoughts of Christy and our short but admittedly quite surprising conversation. Austin kisses me on the lips hard and sparks a little thrill in my blood, but he doesn't use his tongue, and he pulls away far too quickly.

“Thanks, beautiful, but he caught up with me.” He lets me go and stands there looking just this side of awkward.

“Austin,” I begin, but he cuts me off.

“I can't stay, sugar,” he says with a sigh, looking me up and down appreciatively. I put on my pink pj's for him, hoping that when he got back we'd … well, you know.

“You have to go out again?” I whisper and he nods. “With Kimmi?” Austin raises an eyebrow.

“Something the matter, pretty girl?” he asks me, reaching out and touching a strand of loose hair that's fluttering around my forehead. I take a deep breath and clear my throat before I speak. I need to get this out there, just to be sure that I'm not totally crazy, that Austin sees at least a little bit of what I see between us.

“You and I, right now, are we … ” I don't want to say that we're a couple because I don't know if we're there yet. I search my romance novel knowledge for the proper terminology. “Exclusive? I mean, you'd expect me not to be sleeping with Gaine while you're out right?”

“The fuck?” Austin asks, opening his brown eyes wide. “You were fucking Gaine?”

I feel a blush creeping up my neck, and I know that I've just blown the conversation.
Smooth, Amy. Very nice. Be careful, your knowledge of men is showing.

“No, I … Mireya said she thought you might be sleeping with Kimmi because you're always disappearing together … ” I trail off when Austin keeps staring at me, one brow substantially higher than the other.

“Someone's been telling you stories, sugar. Kimmi enjoys the ladies almost as much as Beck does.”

“Excuse me?”

“She's gay, sugar. Kimmi is gay.”

“Oh.” I flush even brighter, feeling more and more like an idiot as the seconds tick by. “Austin?”

“Amy.” I pause as he steps closer, the heat of his body wrapping around me and pulling me in before we've even touched. “Now, I've got business to take care of, but I can't leave this spot until you answer me straight, alright?” I nod and try not to moan when he grasps me under the chin, narrowing his eyes and leaning in close. “Did you and Gaine fuck?” I blink at him and try to pull away, but Austin grabs me at the last second and hauls me against his chest. “Well?”

“No!” I shout at him, putting my hands up against his firm body. “Goodness, Austin Sparks. Mind your manners.” I push away from him and he lets me go, watching as I take a deep breath and dig my feet in. “So are we?”

“Are we what, beautiful?” he asks, tilting his head to the side.

“Exclusive. I mean, you're not going to sleep with anyone else without telling me, right? I mean, because otherwise I'll have to keep worrying about it, and we'll have to start using condoms and – ” Austin steps forward again and grabs me around the waist, thrusting his hot mouth against mine and running his tongue along my teeth, tasting me with bated breath, pushing me up against the wall with the weight of his body. When he pulls away, I have to remind myself to breathe.

“I've never made this promise to anyone,” Austin says, licking his lips and sucking in a huge lungful of air. That angst filled stomach ache I so craved before comes rushing back and makes me sick.
He's going to tell me
no,
isn't he?

“Never mind,” I say, trying to play it off. Maybe he's not ready for this. I mean, I met the man a week ago. Austin smiles at me and reaches a hand down to the waistband of my pants, tugging them slowly off of my hips until they pool on the floor at our feet.

“But maybe I can make an exception for a pretty girl like you, especially one that's got the balls to tell me I'm hers.”

Austin grabs me by the hip with one hand and reaches behind my head with the other, grabbing a handful of curtains and flinging them away. A floor to ceiling window shows itself, spilling cold, gray light into our room along with the shadows of rain drops. I squeal and try to move forward (I'm not wearing panties, if you must know), but Austin doesn't let me. He pushes my bare ass against that glass, rips open the fly on his pants and proceeds to (pardon my language) fuck the ever living shit out of me.

I forget about poor Christy for the time being as my body fills with him, with Austin, and he proceeds to slam me into the glass with desperate thrusts. At first, the very idea that my ass is pressed tight against the window and exposed to anyone that might be outside bothers me, but then I start to like it. I start to
love
it.

I wrap my arms around his neck and let him slide our sweaty bodies against the cool dampness behind me, fogging it up with our desperate breathing and the heat of the friction we're producing together.

“If you want me to be exclusive,” Austin whispers into my ear, grunting as he thrusts deep. “Then you're going to have to keep me satisfied, sugar. Think you're up for it?”

“The question is,” I breathe, squeezing as tight as I can around him, so that he's forced to stop, to give into the power that's between my legs and wait for me to release him. “Can you handle me? I have high expectations, you know. All us romance readers do. We're spoiled by words.”

Austin moves his hands from my hips and up the back of my shirt, using the pressure of his body to hold me in place, squeezing me so tight that his fingers bruise the skin on my back. So tight I can't see straight anymore, so tight that my heart lets out a sigh of joy and my body relaxes, allowing him to move in me again, stroking the fires of our orgasms.

“Oh, you can bet your sweet stars on that,” he tells me, biting my lower lip so hard it hurts and feels amazing at the same time. “And remember next time you're reading a fucking book, how hard my cocks feels inside of you, see if it compares any. Now be quiet and finish up. I told you,” he growls, leaning in. “I've. Got. Work. To. Do.”

Austin pummels me into the window, sends me over the edge and brings me crashing down on the other side.

Next thing I know I'm in the bed, panting, and Austin is already gone.

I shouldn't have fucked Amy. I didn't have time for it, not by a long shot. But she looked so friggin' cute in her stupid ass pajamas, and then she got me all worked up thinking she'd slept with Gaine. I shake my head to clear it and try to pretend that I don't notice Kimmi glaring at me as we trudge through the mud of a field, heading towards the back of the Fort Clinton National Bank.

“Fucking asshole,” she growls at me as she trips over something and only barely manages to keep herself upright. “Thanks for almost screwing this up, Sparks.” Kimmi flicks a pretend bit of somethin' off her shoulder and adjusts her ponytail. She looks a little weird to me right now without her earrings and her makeup. I swear, I haven't seen her dress this simple since Mint left Triple M for good, and she'd declared herself in mourning. O' course that only lasted for a couple of days, just until the next chick showed up. I sigh.

“Hey,” I tell her, thinking of Amy's face when she asked me if we were exclusive. There was a little bit of fear in her eyes; I could see it.
She really likes you, Sparks. Hot fucking dog
. What else could I do, but fuck her? “I said I was sorry, what else do you want me to do about it?” I try to keep my voice low, even though it shouldn't matter. We're wading through several inches of muddy water just to get to this here historical wonder that's drowning in the swamp on which it was mistakenly built. Not many idiots would be interested in doing that, not at this time of night when it's colder than shit outside and miserable as fuck.

“I want you to keep your dick out of that sweet, little pussy for five minutes, so you can actually think straight,” Kimmi chastises me and then smiles. It's hard to tell in the dark, but I think she might actually be leering at me. “You thought about it, didn't you?”