Losing Nuka (Litmus Book 1) (17 page)

“See what?”

“Declan is like the smaller, normal-sized version of Brett.”

I tilt my head to the side. “Have you been drinking? They’re nothing alike. Okay, so they both have dark hair. But that’s it.”

“They have the same build, except Declan’s just smaller. They’ve got broad shoulders, strong arms. Even their facial features are similar. It’s actually kind of freaking me out a little,” she says, eyeing something behind me.

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“Nuke?” His voice startles me.

“Sorry. Forgot to tell you he came out of that store pretty quick,” Sasha says, an obviously fake innocent smile on her face.

Glaring at her, I reach into my handbag to pull the oversized sunnies back out, slipping them on before turning to Declan. “Hey!”
Wow, so that came out high pitched and wrong.

“What are you doing here?” he asks. “And what’s with the hair?” he says smiling, reaching out and touching it.

“Just shopping with my sister,” I say, playfully slapping his hand away. “Oh, yeah, Sasha, this is Declan.”

They shake hands, Sasha’s knowing smirk appearing as she eyes him up and down.

“No bodyguard today?” he asks.

“Drake is …” I look around, but I still can’t see him anywhere. “Somewhere. He’s been good at pretending to be invisible today.”

“Nuke?” Declan asks, his tone suddenly low and laced with concern. “Take off your glasses.”

“What?”

He reaches forward, quickly but gently taking my glasses off before I can stop him. I hold in a breath as he assesses my face. “It’s gotten worse, Nuke.”

I look to the ground, unable to meet his eyes.

“Oh that,” Sasha says with a wave of her hand. “I sure taught her a lesson, right, Nuka?” She elbows me in the ribs on my left side, smiling cockily. I wince in pain.

“
You
did that to her?” Declan asks.

“She’s really good at self-defence,” I say, trying to sell the lie.

“Note to self, don’t piss off Nuka’s sister.” Declan smiles and I let out a sigh of relief. At least he’s bought it.

“Damn straight,” Sasha says, landing a quick jab to my ribs.

I find myself yelping in pain this time. I hold onto my side, tears filling my eyes and heat flooding my face as I try to hold in my scream of agony. I glare at Sasha and only then does she realise what she’s done, her hand flying to her mouth in shock, giving me a silent apology.

“Maybe your true ability is brute strength,” I grunt out.

“Did it really hurt that bad?” Declan asks, stepping forward to try to take a look.

I step back as he reaches for the hem of my shirt. “It’s okay. It’s fine, really. See,” I say, letting go of my left side, gritting my teeth and breathing through my nose until the pain starts to subside. Once I’ve calmed down a bit, I visibly relax and I think Declan sees it too. “See. I really am fine.”

Nodding, he looks down at the ground, looking more nervous than he was a moment ago. The three of us stand in awkward silence for what seems like forever.

This has never happened before with Declan. I don’t know how to act around him anymore. It feels like someone’s sitting on my chest and I need a reminder that I actually have to breathe.

“So … I … uh …” Declan starts. He runs his hand over his hair and down his neck. “I’m leaving next week.”

And boom! Just like that, the crashing weight on my chest falls to my stomach.

“For training?” I ask, my voice cracking.

He nods.

“How long for?”

“Six weeks.”

“That’ll be the longest we’ve ever gone without …”

“I know,” he says, stepping forward and putting his arms around my waist. He leans in, resting his forehead against mine. “It’s going to kill me.”

The weirdness dissipates at his touch. Tears pool in my eyes, but I refuse to let them spill over. I want to live in this embrace forever. But it doesn’t last.

Declan is ripped away from me quicker than I have a chance to react.

“Keep your hands off her, mate,” Drake says, grabbing Declan by the shirt.

“Simon?” Declan asks.

Drake lets go of him, stepping back.

“You know Drake?” I ask.

“Drake?” Declan asks.

“Declan, right? From uni?” He turns to me. “I only did one year before I dropped out and came to work for Cade.”

“Uh … yeah,” Declan says, not taking his eyes off Drake.

“Well, sorry about that, Dec. All I could see was some guy trying to mack on my boss’s girl.”

My mouth goes dry in sudden panic. Sasha actually facepalms.
Drake, what did you just do?

“Let me guess. That would be the other bodyguard? The ‘dick’ as Nuka was calling him two days ago?”

“Ah. So you’ve met him,” Drake says, smirking.

Declan just stares at me, his gaze painful to watch as his expression goes from angry to hurt. “Well, I guess this is goodbye. For at least six weeks, anyway.” His words sting. There’s no emotion behind them. He looks to Drake. “Is it okay if I give her another hug before I go? I’m leaving to go to recruitment training. For the
police
.” He’s staring Drake down in a way I can’t decipher.

“Of course, bud. Nuka’s told me about her best friend, I just didn’t realise it was you. Sorry for overreacting and stuff. Come on, Sash, let’s give them privacy to say goodbye.”

When they’re a few feet away from us, I turn to Declan. “What’s with the evil stare?”

He steps forward and wraps his arms around me. “What’s your family into, Nuke?” he whispers. “Last I heard about Simon was he was going to work for Litmus.”

I pull away in shock, but he holds me tighter, making me wince in pain. He lets me go as soon as he realises he’s hurting me, looking down at my side and then up to my face, pure shock and realisation in his eyes.

“You’re not—”

“I can’t,” I whisper. “I can’t talk about it. How do you even know about …” I look over at Drake and Sasha to see them quickly glance away under my stare, pretending to be interested in the roofing of the undercover shopping strip. Looking back at Declan, I don’t need to finish my sentence.
He knows.

“Everyone at uni knows about Litmus. It’s dangerous. You can’t …”

“You don’t understand, Dec. I can’t talk to you about this, you can’t talk to anyone else about it. You need to let it go.” Fear takes over my voice.

I go to walk away but he pulls on my hand. “I’ll get you out of this. I don’t know how, but I’ll save you. I’m not going to lose you to that place. I’m not losing you.”

Making eye contact with him, I squeeze his hand and fake confidence to get through the lies I have to force myself to get out. “I’m not yours to lose, Declan.”
Lie. I’m completely, one hundred percent his.
“I’m happy.”
Lie. I want him by my side.
“And I don’t need saving.”
Finally, something that’s true.
“I don’t want to be your damsel in distress. I want to do this. You may not understand it, but you have to understand that there’s nothing you can do about it. It’s my choice. They’re not forcing me to do anything.”

Letting go of his hand, I walk away from the man I love for the second time in two days. Only this time, it’s forever. I know that now. Being friends with him won’t work. It’s messy, and complicated, and now that he knows about Litmus, it puts both of us in danger. I don’t want to begin to imagine what would happen if they found out an outsider knew—one that’s going to be a cop, no less.

That’s it then. No more Declan.

-13-

THE FACE OF DEAKIN

Getting to the photography studio with Brett is about as awkward as I was expecting. The drive over was quiet. He was being civil, which at first freaked me out because it’s so unlike him.

The studio is completely decked out in white. White backdrop, white overhead lights. The entire space is crammed with a heap of photography equipment, the only open areas being in the reception and kitchen area we walked through to get in here and space on the floor in front of the camera.

I think I just walked into every girl’s dream when I see the other four guys from Deakin, all shirtless except for Ryker who’s wearing a tight, fitted, black wife-beater top.

Colton is wearing a pair of black angel wings that span out and stop just under his knee. It’s hard for me to contain my giggle as we join them on the studio floor.

“Nice wings,” I taunt. Colton shoots me a dirty look. “Sorry, couldn’t help it. I had to say something.”

“If you weren’t Brett’s girl, I’d show you just how much of an angel I could be,” he purrs, waggling his eyebrows up and down.

Laughing, I ask, “Do you actually fight with those things on? They’re not a hindrance?”

“Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. Depends on who I’m fighting. I’m not going to go up against Blaze wearing them, but Slider or Chi I will. My babies are highly flammable,” he says, petting one of his wings as if he was stroking a pet.

“Okay!” a high-pitched female voice comes from behind us. “Welcome, Heatwave,” she says grabbing hold of my hand and shaking it vigorously, her red-rimmed glasses sliding down her nose from the movement. Her orange hair is in frizzy tight curls and sits in a messy bun atop her head. “I’m Olivia, I’ll be running this shoot today.” She looks over at the others. “Welcome back, boys. How about we get started with you while we get Heatwave into makeup to cover up some of that bruising. Which fighter managed to do that, anyway?”

“I didn’t realise I went so hard,” Steve says quietly, looking anywhere but at me.

I shrug. “All good. I
do
want a rematch though.”

A collective “oooooh” breaks out. “I’m putting my money on her,” Palmer says.

“Me too,” Ryker adds.

“Anytime, princess,” Steve says now smiling, his cockiness from when I first met him returning once again.

“Are you sure you want to nickname me that? Won’t look too good when you get beaten by a princess, now would it?”

“I beat him all the time, and he doesn’t seem to care,” Palmer says. “Then again, I’m a queen, not a princess,” he adds, winking at me.

“Follow me, Heatwave,” Olivia cuts into our joking around. She leads me into a small room at the back where there’s a tall woman with a ridiculous amount of makeup on and a chair facing a mirror. “Vidia will cover up those horrid bruises, my dear. Anything that can’t be covered can be digitally altered later.”

Olivia leaves the room, and I hear her shout to the guys, “Okay, boys, let’s get you oiled up. Shirt off, Brawn.”

“My favourite part,” Palmer says, which causes everyone out there to laugh. Even I crack a smile.

“Sounds like you’ve got some competition for your man,” Vidia says as she starts brushing out my hair.

Wow, news travels fast. Maybe she heard Colton call me Brett’s girl? Maybe Cade told them ahead of time?

“I’m not worried,” I say with a small laugh.

“I guess you’d be used to everyone wanting him. What everyone else wants to know is how you managed to get him to commit. Many girls have tried and failed.”

Easy, just get his owners to put it in a contract.
I don’t answer her aloud and give her a tight-lipped smile.

“Okay, so we’re going with a grungy street fighter look today,” she says, quickly changing the topic to business talk. “Thick smoky makeup—we’ll need something pretty heavy to cover your bruises. Then we’ll add extensions to you hair and then cover your hair in a gel that’ll give your hair a sexy wet look.”

Vidia’s hands are magically fast, and I’m ready to get in front of the camera in only thirty minutes.

Walking out to the studio floor, I take my shirt off to reveal my plain black fighting outfit Cade told me to wear. Olivia gasps when she sees the bruise down my left side.

“Oh, shit,” Steve says.

“I’m fine, I swear. It barely even hurts anymore.”

Olivia grimaces. “I guess I’ll have to polish up on my digital editing skills. Never mind, I’m sure I can fix that later. So, Heatwave, can I have you front and centre, please?” She starts ordering us around, putting us in our places, and physically forces me to put my hands where she wants them.

The first few takes have all of us standing with our hands on our hips. Brett’s behind me and slightly to my right, and the others flank either side of us, going backwards into a V-shape.

“Heatwave, we need you to really smile in these ones. You own these boys, they’ll fight anyone for you. And guys, I need you to look cocky and arrogant. Not that you lot will have to try hard to accomplish that.”

This makes me genuinely smile and Olivia quickly takes a quick few snaps, muttering things like, “Awesome. Great job. Hot.”

We’re put in a few more positions, everything professional and straight forward. There’s no real banter or goofing around like I thought there would be. I guess the guys have done this enough times to know that the quicker you get it done, the sooner you get out of here.

“Okay, last group shot. We’ll have you back in the same V-shape you were in before, but this time you four face the back, and Brawn and Heatwave take a step closer to the camera. Brawn, I need you behind her, your hands on her hips.” We all get into position. “Now I need your hands on his,” she instructs me, placing my hands on top of Brett’s. “We need your hair out of his face,” she says, bringing my hair around to hang over my left shoulder. Brett’s hands feel stiff and unnatural under mine, as if he’s purposefully tensing them. “I need your head in her neck,” she says to Brett, and I swear I can feel his eyes roll. But a second later, his head is there in the cleft of my neck, his breath on my skin, making me shiver.

“Sorry,” he mutters. It’s the first word he’s said to me since we first got here this morning.

“It’s okay,” I whisper back. “You just breathed on a funny spot is all.”

Olivia makes her way back behind her camera and starts taking shots. “Heatwave, I need you to be more … arrogant. I mean, look at the guy you’ve got by your side. Smirk like every girl he’s ever been with is right here in this room and you’re taunting them. You’ve won. He’s yours.”

“I don’t know if that many girls would fit in here,” I say, and the whole room bursts out laughing. I even feel Brett chuckle against my neck.

“Not my point,” Olivia says. “You need to gloat about your relationship. Brawn, I need you even closer, actually kiss her neck if you have to, wrap your arms around her tighter. Hold her like if you let her go, you’ll lose her forever.”

“That won’t be hard,” he whispers low enough that only I can hear. Then he places his lips gently on my shoulder, making his way up to my neck. His hands embrace me around my front, his hands caressing my stomach.

It’s not hard for me to find my arrogant smirk.

“That’s great, Brawn. Heatwave, you’ve got the smirk, now I just need you to open your eyes.”

Heat floods my cheeks as I open my eyes, not realising I’d closed them, savouring the moment. The guys behind us laugh again, only making my blushing worse.

Telling myself to calm down, I focus all my energy on looking arrogant. Olivia’s words repeat through my head. I’ve won. Brett’s mine. Even though I know it’s not actually true, the smile finds my face immediately at the thought.

Olivia takes a few more shots and then tells everyone else they’re wrapped. Brett and I apparently have more work to do.

She takes single photos of me in numerous poses; a lot of which I doubt will be usable because I feel so awkward, I’m sure it shows on my face. While we’re doing this, Brett stands off to the side, and out of the corner of my eye, I see movement in the form of a tall blonde.
Vidia.

She sashays her way over to Brett, her hand landing on his arm.

“Heatwave. Yo, Heatwave!”

Oh, that’s me.
“What?”

“Eyes over here,” Olivia says, snapping me out of my trance.

“Sorry,” I say, shaking my head, trying to refocus myself. It doesn’t take me long to glance back over their way, though.

“Okay, Brawn. I think she’s missing you. Get back in here,” Olivia orders.

Brett nods his head to Vidia before walking over and wrapping his arm around my waist. The camera flash goes off a few times before Brett leans in and whispers, “Thank you,” in my ear.

“For?” I whisper back.

“Getting me away from her.”

I tilt my head to look up at him. “Another Holly?”

“Uh … yeah, sorta.”

“Anyone you haven’t slept with?”

“In this room? Just the one,” he says, winking.

Even though there’s a tiny part of me that is irked by that, I still find myself smiling.

“Well, that’s tempting,” I say, my voice laced with sarcasm.

We find ourselves laughing, the tension between us over the last few days dissipating with each shared smile.

“Stop looking so happy,” Olivia yells. “You’re supposed to be badass street fighters.”

This only makes us laugh more, making Olivia give up. “I guess I’ve got what we need. That’s a wrap.”

Throwing our shirts back on, Brett and I make our way out to the car.

“So Holly, Vidia,
and
Olivia, hey?” I ask once we’re on the road.

“Not Olivia. I was only joking about that. If you didn’t notice, she was more interested in checking you out than me.”

“Is anyone else going to be approaching me, telling me this’ll be over in a few weeks? Or asking me how I got you to ‘settle down’?”

He lets out a small laugh. “Just tell them you can’t help being perfect.”

“Pfft, I’m far from perfect.”

“That doesn’t mean it’s not a good comeback.”

“Oh sure, because it won’t earn a slap to the face or anything.”

“You’re forgetting you’re Heatwave now. Everyone’s going to be scared of you.”

“I’m actually going to have to beat someone for
that
to happen.”

“You’ve only had one fight, and you almost won it. You’ll get there with a bit more training.”

“What
is
the plan for training? I’m kind of thinking we need to up our game. I also might’ve mentioned to Ryker about possibly training with him.”

“Really? Ryker?” Brett asks, rubbing his hand over his chin. “I guess …”

“He said he wants to learn how to fight.”

Brett laughs. “He’s number one. Why would he need to learn to fight?”

“Because you guys make him feel like crap for using his ability more than everyone else does. He wants to make it a fair fight.”

Brett’s obviously sceptical, but he nods his head in agreement. “We could probably use him to up your pain threshold.”

“That doesn’t sound like it’ll be much fun.”

“It won’t be. How are your ribs feeling?”

“Still a little tender, but we really need to train tonight. It’s the second day we haven’t.”

“You need to heal, though. If you go doing more damage while you’re still hurt, you could be out for a lot longer than a couple of days. We’ll do a weights session tonight and get back into training tomorrow.”

“But—”

“No buts.”

“You’re a butt.”

“Real mature.”

I’m hoping our playful banter means the awkwardness is really gone.

***

Pain, so much pain. “Holy mother f—”

“Nuka, breathe.” Brett’s soothing voice is doing nothing to ease the drill that’s attacking my body.

“It hurts!” I scream, hunching over.

“I know. You just have to breathe through it. Block it out. Ryker, will you ease up a bit?”

Training with Ryker is more brutal than I was expecting. He stands in front of me, arms across his chest and a giant smirk on his face.

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” I grind out.

“Come on, Nuka. If you can get through this kind of pain, you’ll find the arena easy to survive.
”

He finally releases his invisible hold on me, and I collapse to the ground, breathing heavily and welcoming the serenity of painlessness.

“Shouldn’t you be training, too? Why’s it pick on Nuka day?” I whine.

“Because we’ve been training with Ryker for two weeks now, and you haven’t been able to overcome his ability,” Brett answers for him.

“Are you saying you can?”

Brett nods to Ryker, and then his whole body tenses. His jaw is set, and his fists are clenched. Taking rigid movements towards Ryker, he raises a fist and punches him in the jaw, making him fall to the ground.