Losing to Win (13 page)

 

 

“N
ext week on
Losing to Win
...” the announcer's voice blared from the television on the far wall of Carissa's living room. I was lounging on the chaise section of Carissa's couch dressed in cargo shorts, T-shirt, and flip-flops. Even though I was sore from yesterday's workout, I was enjoying the time off. Tomorrow was the Fourth of July and the day after that, we had to be back on set. The immediate cast, some family, and friends were gathered here to watch the premiere.

It was far more entertaining than I had expected. Everyone had personalities that worked well on camera and kept the pace of the show engaging. Watching our lives unfold in sequences was surreal. The cameras managed to pick up a lot of interactions that we weren't aware of. Suzette spent a lot of time on the phone to her husband complaining about everyone and everything, particularly Carissa. Suzette clearly hadn't expected some of her words to be aired. Soon after the first scene revealed her spewing dirt about her cast mates, she got up and slipped out of the house.

XJ apparently spent a lot of time finding new and innovative ways to sneak off to restaurants around town. The problem was, the cameras caught him every time. Many townspeople had been interviewed and shared their stories or tidbits about us on camera. Carissa was considered a bit of a town hero for coming back to Belle Haven and contributing. People were very polarized about me. They either thought I was a great guy or a total asshole. One thing they all agreed on was that they wanted to see me do right by the town and by Carissa, whatever that meant.

The first episode had wrapped with me and Carissa standing in our mud-soaked clothes accepting the blind challenge. So I knew exactly what the teaser for the next episode would be. Carissa was seated across the room wearing one of those maxidress things in a shade of orange that looked great on her. As if feeling my gaze on her, she turned her head to look at me. We shared a look of resigned what-the-hell-ness and looked back toward the TV.

I watched as the onscreen Carissa stood up and stepped into Jordan's arms. I hated seeing it again now as much as I had the first time. I kept watching as the onscreen me stood up with clenched fists and stepped forward. Everyone watching held their breath as they cut away for another teaser.

With the exception of those of us who had been there, the room broke into conversation as soon as the commercial went off.

Sugar's voice rang out. “Whoa, cuz—love triangle?”

“Shut it, Sugar. No triangle. I'm an island.”

Ruby laughed. “Didn't someone say no man—or woman—is an island?”

More laughter diffused the last of the tension as people started getting up to leave. I leaned back and stayed put. Jordan looked over at me from his position near the door. I crossed my arms across my chest and rested one ankle across my knee. I speared him with a “whatcha gonna do, player?” look and he gave me an “oh, it's about to be on” head nod.

He walked over to Carissa and leaned down to whisper in her ear. She sent him a sweet smile that caused my stomach to clench, but then she shook her head no. She beckoned him closer and whispered something in his ear. I narrowed my eyes. He nodded, trailed his hand down her arm, and walked out. I had been noticing that Jordan Little always found a way to put his hands on Carissa Wayne. As he passed the doorway, he sent me a quick look I interpreted as “Yeah, I'm leaving, but I'll be back.”

Maybe he would, but not tonight. I stood up, stretched, and chatted Renard, Mac, and XJ along to the front door. I made small talk with Ruby and Sugar as they sashayed out. Picking up a few empty paper plates and plastic cups, I wandered toward the kitchen, where I stopped short in amazed disbelief.

Mashed up against the pantry were Niecy and my brother, Meshach. Breathing all heavy, kissing like their lives depended on it—when had this started? My brother's hands were not in a PG-13 position. “Damn, girl,” he whispered into her neck as she arched her hips closer to him. Okay, I'd seen more than enough.

“Am I interrupting?” I asked, knowing full well that I was as I tossed the trash into a container on the side of the counter.

They sprang apart guiltily and gasped for air. Meshach pointed at me. “Bro, your timing!”

I sat down on the barstool. “My bad. How about y'all take that somewhere more private?”

Niecy shook her head. “Woo, you Knight brothers. Let me escape before I get into trouble.”

Meshach grumbled. “I was
trying
to get into some trouble.”

“You were getting into something,” I laughed as Niecy backed out of the room, running into Carissa on her way out.

“What's up?” Carissa asked, looking at Niecy's hasty retreat toward the closest exit from the house.

“I'll call you in the morning!” Niecy said, practically sprinting out the front door.

Cari looked from me to Meshach and back again. “What did you do?”

I held my hands up. “For once it wasn't me! This one”—I directed my thumb toward Meshach—“had his paws all over your line sister. Lips too.”

“Is that right?” Carissa grinned widely, sliding onto the barstool next to mine and resting her chin on her hands. “Do tell.”

Meshach shrugged. “I like her. I'm going to get to know her better.”

I snorted. “That was you initiating a conversation just now?”

He grabbed his keys off the counter and came around the bar to give Cari a kiss on the cheek. “I'm out. Lookie here, bro, don't be projecting your sexual frustrations in my direction. See y'all tomorrow.”

He strolled out the front door, completely missing the finger I flashed at him. As the door closed behind him, Cari swiveled toward me on the barstool with an animated expression.

“Mal?” Her voice was silky.

I looked over at her to see a wicked grin on her face. “Rissa?”

“Are you sexually frustrated?” she said in a teasing, singsongy voice.

A slow smile crept across my face. That sounded like an invitation to me. If she wanted to play, I was more than ready. Standing up swiftly, I yanked her out of the chair and started backing her toward the staircase. “Not for long, babe. Not for much longer at all.”

She opened her mouth to either agree or protest and I took the opportunity to cover those pretty lips with my own. Testing delicately, I gave her a second to push me away. She didn't. I wrapped both arms around her and pulled her in tight. With a sexy moan, Carissa slid her arms around my neck and gave as good as she got.

This kiss was possessive, aggressive, and filled with a thousand words we needed to convey. Slick, hot, enticing, and addictive, our tongues spoke to each other in languages never forgotten. Carissa smelled of vanilla and gardenias; she tasted like sweet wine and heaven. I pressed her against the wall next to the staircase and ran my hands along her back, her arms, her thighs, everywhere I could reach quickly. Our hands flew across each other's bodies, reacquainting ourselves with new curves, new angles, new textures, but the same feelings remained. Heat, passion, and eagerness for more were always in the forefront when I got next to Carissa.

I was too impatient to say and do all the things I needed to do right now. If I wanted to do this the right way, I would say sweet things and ease into each phase with light, teasing touches and soothing caresses. But everything inside of me was screaming, “Now! Now! Now!” I just wanted her to be mine in every way possible. With the last ounce of willpower inside of me, I pulled back slightly. “Do you want me to stop?”

“I don't know,” she whispered with her hands on my chest. I couldn't tell if she was pulling me closer or pushing me away. Her lips were swollen, her lids were heavy, her breathing as erratic as mine. The two of us together like this felt like an inevitability.

The thought that she didn't feel the same frantic need that was racing through my veins drove me crazy. I put my hands on her hips and tilted her pelvis in alignment with mine, dragging her close. I was hard as iron, pressed against her velvet softness. I wanted her to feel the urgency of my want, the desperation of my need. “You don't know?” I whispered into her neck as I licked a path from her bare shoulder to just behind her ear, where she was particularly sensitive. She shuddered in my arms and I nipped the spot lightly with my teeth.

She groaned. “I don't know.”

Sliding a leg between hers to open her up, I grasped her wrists in my hands and pulled them over her head. I shifted my hips forward and then back, applying pressure against her heat and then backing off. Waves of heat echoed back and forth between us, cocooning us in hot steamy air. I kissed her lips with the same staccato rhythm. Then I paused. Her hips chased mine, her lips pouted for more. Her mind may not have known what she wanted, but the rest of her was completely on board. I waited for her lashes to rise and our eyes to meet before I spoke. “Maybe you need reminding.”

“Reminding?” Her eyes went cloudy with confusion and desire.

I turned her so she was facing front against the wall. I surged against her and kept her arms above her head. “Leave them there.” I commanded before reaching for the tie on the halter top of her dress. I released it, then flicked open the bra underneath. Both of us groaned as her breasts fell into my hands. I'd definitely missed these. They were ample and overflowed my hands as I squeezed and molded them. I rolled the hardened nipples between my thumb and forefinger. She held her breath and released it in a choppy moan. The sound of that moan raked across my nerves, arousing me further. I'd missed that sound.

“Later on tonight, when I'm not hustlin' to get inside you, I'm going to play with these with my tongue and my lips and my fingers over and over again until I watch you come apart. You were always so sensitive here. I could take you over with just two damp fingertips. Remember how I used to do that?”

She flung her head back and let out a low keening sound but didn't speak. She ground her hips into my hardness, enticing me to hurry. I gritted my teeth against the temptation.

No way was I letting her get away with that. I dropped my hands to her hips and held them still. “Answer me. Do you remember?”

“Yes. I remember.” Her voice barely registered above a whisper.

“I thought you did. I can't forget. Do you how many times I've been in bed at night thinking about how we were together? I would touch myself wishing it was you. Thinking about all the ways we burned together. How you used to melt into me, match me, challenge me, satisfy me?” I raised the hem of the dress and pulled down the pastel panties she was wearing. “Do you know?”

“No.” She shook her head frantically.

I slid a finger through her moist heat and she gasped. “It's happened more times than I can think about. You are so wet, Cari. Is it mine? Is it all for me?”

“Oh, Mal,” she implored me.

“Tell me, is it me that makes you steamy and dripping, hungry? Is all this hot honey for me, Carissa?” My fingers explored her, reaching the tight quivering nubbin of sensation. I caressed it in slow circles, reveling in the unevenness of her breath. How she quaked when I stroked just so and purred when I rubbed right there, there, and twice more with two fingers and a squeeze there. I slid one long finger inside her warmth and her walls clamped around my finger.

“Mal, please!”

Nothing in the world like having the woman you want begging for more. Nothing. “What do you want? What can I give you, baby? Talk to me.”

She whipped around with her eyes flashing and reached for the fastening on my shorts. In record time she had them open and down on the floor. I pulled off my shirt and she pushed her dress the rest of the way off. She reached into my boxers and freed the straining, desperate part of me that leaped at her touch. “You know what I want. Stop. Playing. Games. With. Me.” She punctuated each word with a squeeze and a downward stroke of my hardness. I had to lock my knees to fight the swell of sensation.

I pushed her away and turned her back toward the wall. We had to do this my way. Reaching down, I grabbed my wallet out of my pocket and extracted a condom. I rolled it on and looked up at her. Tempting as it was to stop and slowly taste my way back up, I had more urgent needs to deal with.

I pressed myself full length along her back before adjusting her position. I tilted her so she was leaning against the wall balanced on her hands, her hips aligned to mine, her ass out and raised to receive me, her legs slightly spread. “God, you look so sexy right now. You remember that time when we'd just bought the house and I came up behind you on the stairs. Do you remember?”

“I remember.” She whimpered, straining closer to me.

“Do you remember how I bent you over, pressed against you, and you wiggled your ass against me? How I wrapped my hand around your waist?” I wrapped my arm around her to hold her steady. “And then I slid inside of you just like this?” I slid inside of her warmth in a single stroke, inflaming the both of us. “Do you remember, Cari?”

“Oh my God. Yes. I remember everything.” She clenched her internal muscles around me and I growled low in my throat.

I drove into her with long, deep strokes, driven by a tidal wave of emotion and pleasure and things I wasn't ready to define. I struggled to stay in control. A part of me just wanted to stop and bask in the fact that I was wrapped around Carissa Melody Wayne and she was wrapped around me. That in this moment she was mine and mine alone. That in this moment, we were happy and together and there was no future and no past, just this one perfect sensation of oneness. Me, encased in her heat, savoring every liquid slide of my length. So many more thoughts and feelings bombarded me than I could control. “Just remember how this feels, Carissa. This.” I plunged. “And this.” I retreated. “And this.” I dove in again. “This is us. This is who we are. This is what we do. This is how we make each other feel. No one else. Just you and me. Are you listening?”