Losing You (Finding You Series Book 2) (17 page)

“There’s one final thing. I have to go to America and find Kyle. I need to find him and tell him I’m alive and that I still love him. I hope you will understand. This is my one shot at happiness. Maybe Kyle, Daniel, and I will visit once we get everything sorted out. I miss you and Dad. How is he?” I changed the subject quickly before she could protest. I was good at that.

“I hope you know what you’re getting yourself in for, dear. It’s so sudden.”

“I know it seems that way, but he’s nothing like John. He’s so wonderful to me. I love him.” There was nothing further to add.

“I must admit, I’m a little disappointed you’re not coming home just yet, but I’m extremely glad you’re alive. That’s all I need for now. Just promise me that you’ll come home and visit once you’re settled. Please be careful and call if you need anything.” Then like a giddy schoolgirl, she added, “Wait till I tell your father! He’s home now and on the mend. It was touch and go for a couple of weeks, but he’s a fighter like you. He’ll be so happy!”

We both laughed, reconnecting and happy to be talking to each other again. I felt her love radiate through the telephone.

“I love you too, Mum.”

Daniel and I needed some money but I didn’t have the heart to ask her now. It would seem like a charity call. Something else would have to be arranged.

Promising to call when we reached our destination, I hung the phone up and moved back to where Ramah and Daniel waited.

“How did she react? Was she as shocked as we were?” Ramah asked excitedly.

“She didn’t believe me at first, until I told her something from my past that was unique to the two of us. She just couldn’t believe it! We were both pretty emotional. The great news is that she understands about me needing to go to Kyle first.”

Ramah walked over to where the room keys were hanging. She scanned the board before selecting a key, returning to us.

“You can’t have your old room back but there’s a vacant one just a couple of doors down. It has two single beds in it, which will be more appropriate this time round.”

I was so grateful that I was going to be able to sleep on a proper bed, have a shower, and hopefully appeal to Ramah’s generous nature and get some food.

Walking through the gardens, I almost expected Kyle to come bounding around the corner whistling a happy tune or hear one of the loud film crew telling a dirty joke. Time had erased those things. They were just memories now. New families and couples cavorted in the jumbo pool. It seemed like infinity ago that I’d stepped onto the same pathway leading to the huts, embarking on an unknown journey. So much had happened since then.

We turned left instead of right and made our way down the sand closer to where Kyle’s hut had been.

Ramah opened the door and let us in. We both walked in, looking around, Daniel in a trance as he spotted things he’d never seen before.

I moved to the bed and eased down onto it, sighing as I went. The soft mattress on the bed resembled a marshmallow and when was the last time I’d had a pillow? Just one of the small luxuries I’d always taken for granted.

“I’ll leave you two alone to get your bearings for a while. You need to rest. I’ll come by soon with a nice hearty meal for you both. I bet you’re both starving.”

“We’ve won the lottery. Proper food. Food with flavor and taste. No more berries, wild yams, or anything with a leaf attached to it. Thank you, Ramah. That sounds fantastic.”

Ramah turned to leave and then she stopped, as if she’d forgotten something.

“Oh, I nearly forgot. While you called your mother, Hayden used his cell phone to arrange two airline tickets to Los Angeles. There’s a flight leaving in five days. I thought you could use some time to get settled and grab a few necessities before you leave. I’ll whiz over to the airport before you go to pick them up. You’ll need to call home again later to get some form of identification faxed through to show the airline. Daniel is under 18 so he doesn’t require any form of identification as Sapphire and Ragged Island are still in United States waters. Here’s some money to survive on until you reach Kyle.”

Ramah handed me an envelope containing three hundred dollars.

Now we really had hit the jackpot. Everything had fallen into place perfectly. Without even having to ask, the money had come. It finally felt like things were going in our favor.

“Worry about that later. Right now you just relax and get yourself in shape for your meeting with Kyle. I wish I were going to be a fly on the wall. Just thinking about it gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling.”

We settled into our hut after Ramah left. Daniel walked through it, looking at everything foreign, opening drawers and cupboards to see what was inside. I nabbed him looking at himself in the mirror in the bathroom, gawking at his reflection.

“Is this what I really look like?”

It was comical to watch the young boy see himself for the first time. His hands wandered carefully over his nose and mouth, following the curves ever so gently, all the while watching in the mirror as he did so.

“You’re very handsome. One day when you’re older, you’ll have women falling at your feet.”

“What do you mean?” he probed, looking away from his reflection to me.

“I mean that women will think that you’re very good looking. They’ll want you to take them out for dinner and buy them nice gifts.”

He screwed up his nose as if I’d just asked him to drink tar. “Yuck! That will never happen. I don’t want women to do that!”

I couldn’t help giggling as I moved over to him, touching his young, unblemished face. There was so much for him to experience now and girls were just one of them. He reminded me of a young flower bud, yet to open and bloom. Life for him would never be the same again.

We both yawned as fatigue set in. It had been a big day for all, with bigger ones yet to come. Plenty of rest was imperative. Daniel made his way over to the bed, where he threw himself down, relishing the softness. His eyes were shut within a couple of minutes and his heavy, regular breathing was all that could be heard in the quiet, late afternoon. My eyes sagged so I easily flopped back onto the bed by the window. The pillow and mattress felt luxurious compared to what was offered on Ragged Island. Minutes later, I’d joined Daniel in the land of nod.

It felt like no time at all had passed when I heard knocking on the door. Upon opening my eyes, I noticed that the sun had descended further in the sky. It was now dinner time. Ramah had arrived with food, so I called her in not leaving the bed.

The smell of the tantalizing food soon had me wide-awake. Flavors and scents long forgotten forced my senses into overdrive.

“I’ll leave Daniel’s in the fridge for when he wakes up. It’s better to let him sleep while he can.” I couldn’t believe the knocking didn’t waken him. He must have been more exhausted than I thought.

“How about that chat you promised me earlier? Are you up to telling me all of it? You don’t have to if it pains you.”

“No! I want to tell somebody. I think I need to talk about it. I’ve bottled it all up inside of me, hiding it all behind a wall of courage for the last two months. It’s time I confronted what happened and moved on with my life.” There were certain pieces that would have to be left out.

Ramah got comfortable on the edge of the bed and I propped myself up with the pillow, taking mouthfuls of dinner in between the narrative saga.

I started with Jeremiah. Leaving out the insignificant parts, the long story unfolded. Hearing the words, I could barely believe it myself.

“The smell of jet fuel that filled the cabin before the crash. The sudden chaos inside the cramped plane, amongst the deathly, inflated silence outside. Jeremiah’s vise-like grip around my hand moments before impact.”

Ramah hung onto every word.

“As if the crash hadn’t been enough, the days spent drifting in solitude at sea waiting for someone to find me was the hardest. The insane, relentless isolation got unbearably difficult after a while. My mind switched off, almost to the point of totally losing it.”

“Oh, you poor thing! No one should ever have to go through that. What kept you going with no water or food, and how did you not bleed to death?”

“I tied my shirt around my leg, which did help somewhat. Everything else I owned ended up at the bottom of the ocean. As far as what kept me going, I don’t even have to think of that. It was Kyle. He was my strength. Somehow, he willed me to survive. I’m so glad I am here sitting with you again able to tell you all this.”

“So why has Daniel left his home to go to America with you?”

Hoping that he wouldn’t wake up and hear us talking, I lowered my voice to a steady whisper.

“I caught Daniel’s father hitting him. I’m not talking about a quick slap either, because there was bruising from earlier incidents.”

Ramah paled. “Dear Lord! I can understand why you had to get him out of there. I would have done the same thing. How is he, mentally?”

“It’s hard to tell just yet, but he seems fine around me. I was quite surprised and thought he might withdraw into himself like he seemed to do around his parents, but he talks quite a lot when we’re alone together. I think he feels safe with me, knowing that I’d never do anything to hurt him. He was such a great help to me on the island. He caught food and basically waited on me hand and foot. He was really the only one who communicated with me, which helped to make the days a little more bearable.”

That was as far as I was willing to go with the story. I was going to dig myself into a hole if anything more was said.

“The last few hours have been the most amazing of my life. I can’t believe that we have you back. Kyle is going to be in shock. The poor dear was absolutely crushed.” Ramah stared into space, as if reminiscing.

Trying to fine tune an image of Kyle’s face brought a smile to my face. For weeks I’d struggled to nail his features. Now, being back on Sapphire Island, the place where we’d met, it was like the signal had returned. The picture was rising out of the fog, becoming clearer with each second. My heart leapt from a waltz to a rumba. To have his strong, manly arms around me, keeping me safe, never letting anything happen ever again, strengthened me no end.

As much as I wanted to get to Los Angeles, nervous jitters started to hound me. There were so many what ifs?

Ramah must have noticed me daydreaming. “Everything is going to be fine, I promise. You two belong together. When you see each other again, everything will be as if you’ve never been apart.”

“But i
t
wil
l
be like we’ve been apart. For one thing, I’m on crutches. Another thing is that I look like the walking dead. I mean, look at me. I haven’t even looked in the mirror yet because I’m afraid of what I’ll see. I’m saving that for when I’ve showered and washed my hair.”

“That’s irrelevant, my dear. Kyle loves you beyond that. I saw you two together. You were like twin flames.”

“Thank you. For everything.”

We hugged some more and then Ramah left.

I was left to ponder the coming events alone. Daniel slept soundly. Trauma sleep, that’s what it was. His mind had shut his body down to take time out from the horrendous secret that weighed us both down. A terrible wrong. A wrong that had written its own ending. No one could ever know.

I snuck out to reception a little later whilst Daniel was asleep to call my mother again to organize the ID for the airline. It was a quick call and I soon found myself back in the hut, sprawled out in the cozy bed.

Sleep took me quickly, plunging me deep.

Chapter Sixteen

Dakota

“Wake up, Dakota! Wake up! I need to relieve myself. I haven’t been since leaving Ragged Island.”

It was light again. We’d both slept fitfully the whole night. I actually woke up feeling better than I had in days.

Amused, I remembered that Daniel didn’t know how to use a toilet. I pointed to the bathroom and told him to do his business in the porcelain chair and to push the button on the top when he was finished. He looked at me and pointed to the toilet as he walked towards it.

“Yes, and remember to always close the door. People do their business in private behind a closed door. You can either sit on the seat or lift the seat and stand, depending on what you need to do.”

He went in and quietly shut the door. My imagination went to work. I could picture him lifting the seat up and down and then jumping in fright when it flushed.

I rose and went to the cupboard of the small kitchen, pulled down a glass, and poured some water. It was so good. I poured a second glass and opened the front door to sit on the balcony and enjoy the sun’s tepid morning rays.

The gleaming, calm ocean didn’t seem as threatening on Sapphire Island. Maybe it was because it held precious memories and not nightmarish ones. I wasn’t sure, but looking out at it didn’t bring with it the same fear and hatred it had on Ragged Island.

Lifetimes of hardship had nearly swallowed me up, but I’d lived to see another day. This day. A day of hope. A day of new dreams. I was going to Kyle soon and we were going to be together. I craved him like a junk food binge, only infinitely more powerful. Nothing was going to stop me reaching him this time. Sheer grit and determination had won out in the end when others would have surely given up. As my grandmother had pointed out, it wasn’t my time yet. There was still much to do.

The toilet flushed and then Daniel came out to join me, success written all over his face.

“That was so cool. I think I’m going to like living in the modern world.” He’d executed his first toilet flush effortlessly and was pretty damn proud of it.

I knew he was going to be constantly amazed with everyday discoveries. I was so grateful I would get to enjoy his naïve excitement.

His hair was curlier than usual after lying on it for so long. His eyes looked sleepy and a little puffy, but otherwise he looked as excited as I did. It was as if arriving in a new land had wiped our past clean. It was such a refreshing change to be waking up here.

“Are you hungry, Daniel?”

“I sure am. What is there to eat?”

“Your dinner from yesterday is in the fridge. Ramah called by with some food for us but you were fast asleep so we didn’t wake you. You must have been tired because you slept right through. If you go over to the white fridge standing beside the cupboards over there and open the door, you’ll find it.”

Walking over to the fridge and opening it, he peered in and retrieved the dish, taking the lid off it to inspect it.

“What is it?”

“It’s beef casserole. I’m sure you’ll like it. Your taste buds are going to be in for a treat.” All he’d ever eaten was fish.

I shuffled over to where he held the plate and took it off him, putting it in the microwave. If I’d had a camera I would have caught his gasp as the “start” button was pressed.

“When it beeps to let you know it’s finished, you take it out and then close the door. Make sure you use that small towel over there to lift the plate, as it may be hot.”

I handed him a fork and explained how to use it.

“I’m going to attempt to have a shower. It’ll be nice to use some soap and shampoo.”

I never thought I’d live to see the day when I’d be stepping into a shower. Another one of life’s luxuries I’d always taken for granted.

Leaning my crutches against the vanity, I hopped to the shower and turned it on. The spray was hard and fast. When it was the right temperature, I hopped over the lip of the cubicle and immersed myself under the heavenly spray, not caring if the force of it stung my skin. The complimentary soap smelled of vanilla, so I lathered myself up until there wasn’t a portion of my skin without soap. I sighed with joy at the rich suds cleansing me. The suds represented washing away all the heartache and drudgery experienced thus far. Today signaled the start of my future. As the aromatic bubbles disappeared down the drain, they carried all of my baggage with them.

My hair drank the shampoo in. It had grown even longer now and the skimpy bottles were barely adequate. I wanted to revel under the jet until the water ran cold but thought Daniel would probably want his first shower too, so I stood enjoying it for a few more minutes and then got out. I moved over to the vanity and wiped some of the steam away with the towel, checking out my reflection for the first time.

I didn’t know the person staring back. It just didn’t look like me. I had cheekbones. The fruit and fish diet had given me cheekbones. Bones, period! I’d always had nicely covered shoulders but now my clavicles jutted out on the ends, the hollow below my neck was deeper than before. My face was tanned but gaunt. My eyes seemed to sink back into my head and my lips were dry and cracked. The reflection in the mirror was a stark, willowy figure that needed some real food. Fattening meat, dairy, pasta, and bread. I didn’t do skinny well.

With a jumbled reaction to my lost curves, I dried off, dressed, and went out to join Daniel, who was taking a tray of breakfast off Ramah. Not having quite finished his dinner from yesterday, he was surrounded by food.

Ramah caught my eye. “Ahh, there you are. How did you sleep?”

“Like a log, actually. I feel so much better for it.”

“Good. Well, I’ve been shopping and bought you a few things. Here.” She presented me with a white plastic bag.

“What’s this?”

“Open it and find out!”

Moving over to my bed, I sat down before looking into the plastic bag. Inside were clothes! Real clothes!

Staring at me lay a pretty white cotton dress, with some matching underwear and a pair of shorts and a shirt for Daniel. Underneath was a pair of shoes for each of us, and our airline tickets. What treasure! I couldn’t hide my shock.

“I owe you so much. First you pay for our tickets and give us some spending money and now you buy us new clothes. These must have cost you a fortune.”

“Well, let’s just say that I did a deal with one of the girls I know at a shop in town,” cried Ramah. “I just hope they fit. I had to guess your size for the underwear and couldn’t remember how old Daniel was. I haven’t had any experience buying clothes for young boys.”

I laid out my new clothes on the bed and handed Daniel his. He scooped them up fervently, unfolding them and holding them up so he could see them better.

“Wow. Thank you, Ramah. These are the nicest clothes I’ve ever been given.”

“Well, put them on and show me,” the kind woman offered. He didn’t need to be asked twice, walking to the bathroom and closing the door.

I held out my arms to Ramah and she moved to me, stooping down to hug me.

“I just can’t thank you enough. You’ve been so good to us. I promise, I’ll send you the money for everything when I get to Los Angeles and can access my bank accounts.”

“That’s quite all right. That dress you’re wearing looks like its seen better days and you turned up barefoot, so it’s the least I could do.”

The bathroom door opened and Daniel strode out. The change was immediately apparent. The transformation was nothing short of miraculous. A new boy stood before us.

Magic had transformed the primitive island boy into a modern, mature looking twelve-year-old who was absurdly handsome. He fingered the foreign material of his new attire, marveling at the softness. Even though he’d had fairly nice clothes to begin with, the new shirt and shorts were the current fashion and somehow made him look grown up.

“Thank you, Ramah. They are very beautiful clothes. I like them a lot.”

“You are very welcome, Daniel,” Ramah sang with delight.

Turning to me, she asked, “How about I see if I can find you a decent set of crutches? Those don’t appear to be too sturdy.”

“Actually, you’d be surprised. These crutches carried me around nearly the whole of Ragged Island over rough terrain. They’re stronger than they look. However, I know how prehistoric they look. Where would you get a new pair from?”

“I’ve got a friend who works at the small hospital on the island. I’m sure they’ve got a pair lying around somewhere. Leave it to me.”

I’d left everything to Ramah and felt guilty for shouldering her with our impromptu arrival and need for so many things. As much as she had said she didn’t mind, I wasn’t comfortable with taking so much charity. I was going to more than make it up to her when I could.

“If you’re sure she won’t mind, that would be great.”

“Well, I’ll leave you in peace to rest some more. Sing out if you need me.”

“I will. Thanks, Ramah.”

When she was gone, I tucked into my breakfast. As much as I’d eaten the night before, I was already starving again. My thin body would be craving food until it fattened up somewhat. I wasn’t going to deny myself the chance to gain some much needed calories.

Even though Daniel had eaten earlier, he ravaged the muffins and muesli Ramah had brought us and so did I. They tasted like heaven on a stick. My taste buds were singing with joy.

“Dakota?”

“Yes?”

“Can I go down to the water for a while? I’d like to explore a little.” The ocean was in his blood. It was where he grew up. The move to a big city would be hard for a while but there were so many more opportunities for him in America. He knew that.

“Sure you can. I’ll come and sit out on the balcony so I can keep an eye on you. It’s such a lovely day. Sitting inside would only waste it.”

“Dakota?”

“Mmm?”

“Can we visit the ocean in America?”

Knowing how much the spirit of the sea coursed through his veins, I knew we’d have to indulge him. Like a fish is to water, so too is he to the ocean.

The harsh culture shock that he would experience when he reached the city was always niggling at the back of my mind. There were vast differences to overcome. Hurdles to jump and mountains to climb. Would he be welcomed and accepted in school? Would he cope with the rigors and routine that came with it? I would do my best to ensure a safe transition but at school he’d have to fend for himself. I couldn’t be with him 24/7.

“You bet we will. It’s only a short drive from Kyle’s apartment. Once we get settled in, we’ll take you.”

The outside air embraced us, peaking my energy after breakfast. The shore looked as beautiful as ever, with the reflection of the sun turning the small waves into golden ripples of life. Daniel ran down to the water’s edge, putting his toes in and letting the water tap his ankles.

Young children messed about on the beach, running in circles and laughing innocently, unaffected by danger or fear. Daniel watched them as I watched him. I sensed his desire to join them. To be part of something. To belong. Soon, I promised myself. Soon.