Lost and Found (37 page)

Grabbing onto the saddle horn as well, I clucked my tongue, and Sunny sprang to life.

Other than holding on for dear life and trying not to fall out of the saddle, I let Sunny do the rest. He raced past the corrals, past the driveway, and turned without any prompting from me. He really was taking me to Jesse. Sunny charged down the dirt road I’d driven a few times when I had to take lunch out to the guys working in the upper fields.

It wasn’t a dirt road anymore. It was a mud road. Sunny lost his footing a few times in the sludge, but I managed to stay in the saddle. Clumps of mud hit me from every angle, and the rain, at our speed, hurt my face until it finally went numb. It was the most rain I’d ever seen, and I’d grown up in Portland, Oregon.

Sunny charged ahead like he was the underdog in the Kentucky Derby. He did all the work, he blazed the trail; all I did was manage to hold on. So why did I feel so damn exhausted by the time Sunny’s gallop slowed? Might have had something to do with being soaked to the bone and my lower half being all tingly and numb from bouncing around in the saddle.

We were long past the spot I’d dropped the guys’ lunch off. I couldn’t tell how far, but I knew it was miles farther. The rain was slowing, so the visibility had slightly improved, but when I saw where Sunny was heading, I kind of wished I couldn’t see a thing again.

We were winding down a trail that continued to narrow. Where we were, the trail was wide enough for two riders to travel side by side, but every few feet, it got narrower and narrower until, finally, it seemed barely wide enough for Sunny and me.

To my left was a sheer rock face that went straight up a good twenty feet or so. To my right was a drop off. I couldn’t tell how far down the ravine was, but I could tell it was pretty far away from how long the rocks Sunny’s hoofs sent over the edge took to fall.

My heart pounded the farther down the ridge we traveled. Every survival instinct I possessed clawed at me to turn around and go back. Had turning around been possible on the narrow trail, I might have attempted it. I might have if any person but Jesse was down there.

That’s what kept me going. That’s what I knew kept Sunny going.

Jesse.

A moment later, I felt it. The oddest sensation I’d experienced to date. As though a slack rope I hadn’t even known I’d been tied to went taut, I could go no farther. I pulled up on Sunny’s reins, but it was a wasted effort. Sunny had stopped an instant before.

We’d found him. I knew it. It wasn’t just the rope I could feel. It was him.

“Good boy, Sunny,” I praised him, rubbing his neck. “You found him.”

I slipped on the headlamp and clicked it on. It didn’t cut through as much of the dark and the rain as I would have hoped, but I could make out that the drop off from that part of the trail was less treacherous looking. It was still steep but manageable with the proper equipment and experience. I happened to have neither.

I decided on which way I’d take down into the ravine before dismounting. Trying to climb off a horse on a trail that was maybe three feet wide was no easy task, but I managed it without causing permanent injury to human or horse.

I did one final check of my planned route before taking a deep breath. “I’m going to go get him, boy. I’m bringing Jesse back.” I didn’t know who I was trying to reassure, me or Sunny, but he replied with a low neighing sound.

I didn’t stall any longer. Staring over the precipice wouldn’t get me to Jesse any faster. I lowered my right foot, and when it felt stable, I lowered my left. The slope felt just as steep as it looked, but I was doing it. I was side-stepping, grabbing a hold of any branch, rock, or vine I could to give myself a bit more balance as I continued down.

I was in action, so my heart wasn’t in my throat any longer and I didn’t feel like I was on the verge of a panic attack. I’d jumped, quite literally, and there was no going back. Not without Jesse beside me.

My old boots didn’t look anything like hiking boots, but they worked like champs on the muddy, steep, and uneven terrain. It was a bit surreal knowing a pair of black leather boots had saved me two different times in my life.

I was almost to the bottom of the ravine, not even a body length away, when I lost my foothold. The branch I’d been using as a support snapped, and I spent the last part of my descent rolling down the hill.

I groaned when I landed. The nice thing about the buckets of rain that had come down was that it had made the ground soft. Other than being a muddy mess and waking up to a few bruises in the morning, I was just fine.

I readjusted my headlamp and scanned the area. The ravine wasn’t much more than some scraggly bushes and rock, but it was enough to conceal a body. So I’d check around every bush, rock, and cranny in the whole damn ravine if that’s what it took. He was down there, I knew that. Just waiting for me to find him.

The thunder had died down almost entirely, so I held my head back and yelled his name over and over again as I searched.

No answer. No Jesse.

He was close, so close. I felt him, so why couldn’t he hear me? Why wasn’t he answering me? The only reason he wouldn’t answer was if . . . My stomach twisted into a knot.

No. I wouldn’t let myself think that. I
wouldn’t
think that.

He was there. He was fine.

I started moving faster, searching more frantically. I had just rounded one of the bigger shrubs I’d seen in the ravine when I tripped over something. I flew to the ground again, followed by another groan.

Scratch that: I would wake up to more than “just a few” bruises in the morning.

“Rowen?”

My heart about burst right out of my chest. I rolled over and sat up to see what I’d tripped over. Well,
who
I’d tripped over.

“Jesse!” I cried, crawling toward him. He was laying on the ground, his back propped up against a level rock. He was as muddy and drenched as I was and looked so beat up, my breath caught in my lungs.

“What in the hell are you doing out here?” he said, struggling to sit up. He winced, grabbed his ribs, and collapsed back down into his prior position.

“Are you all right?” I crawled closer and scanned his body for visible signs of damage.

“I’m fine,” he answered, shifting up again. That time, he made it, although from the look on his face, I would have thought someone just shoved a hot poker through his hand.

“Bull crap!” I said, noticing the way he favored his left arm. “What’s hurt?”

“Pretty sure I broke my arm.” He glanced at the arm he held carefully. “And a couple ribs.” My eyes shifted to his chest. I couldn’t see anything, but I could imagine the pain that came along with broken ribs. “And I’m going to need some stitches at the back of my head.”

I scurried behind him to inspect his head. Sure enough, dried blood matted his hair just below the crown. When I felt the stirrings of panic, I reminded myself I’d found him and that he was alive. Bones could be mended, wounds could be stitched. Jesse needed me. He needed me to be calm and clear headed for the both of us.

It went against everything I knew, but I fought the panic. Inspecting his head wound to make sure it wasn’t leaking enough fresh blood to be concerning, I came around to his side again. His breathing was a little fast and his color was a couple shades lighter than normal, but otherwise, his injuries didn’t seem life-threatening.

“What are you doing out here, Rowen?” he asked, inspecting my body like I’d just done his.

“I came to find you,” I answered as I wiped the mud from his face with the back of my hand.

“How did you get down here?”

I swallowed and pointed up the cliff face.

His expression went pretty much exactly how I thought it would go: flabbergasted with a trace of outraged. “You realize that’s called Suicide Ridge for a reason, right?”

I crossed my arms and sat up on my heels. I wasn’t there to argue with him. “Do you?”

“Yeah, I do. That’s why I take it seriously when I travel it,” he replied. I couldn’t stop staring at the way his right arm cradled his left arm.

“And you call it ‘taking it seriously’ when you decided to travel it in the middle of the night during the storm of the century?” Why was I still arguing with him? Really, all I’d wanted to do since I’d stumbled over him was kiss him hard on the mouth and cuddle close until help came.

“It is when you see the calf everyone’s been looking for at the bottom of the ravine.” Jesse tilted his head toward the big shrub. I hadn’t noticed at first, but a tiny black calf was laying under the shelter of the bush. She was as wet and muddy as the rest of us but resting as peacefully as I’d ever seen an animal sleep.

“You broke your arm, your ribs, and your damn head to save a baby cow?” I said, waving my hands at the calf.

“I wasn’t planning on breaking
anything
when I climbed down to get her,” he said. “But the mud, my balance, and my feet had other plans.”

“What were you doing out here on your own in the first place? What were you thinking when you tried coming down that thing”—I waved at the steep wall in front of us—“in those boots?” I flailed at his feet next. “I have four-inch heels with better traction than those things!”

Jesse looked like he was fighting a grin. A second later, all humor left his face. “I am not answering another question until you tell me what
you
were thinking coming out here on your own. What you were thinking climbing down that thing in those things?” His pointed from the cliff to my boots. “And . . . and . . . how did you get here in the first place?”

I doubted my answer would put him any more at ease. “Sunny.” I shrugged.

Nope, it definitely didn’t put him at ease. It put him the opposite. “Sunny?!” He tried sitting up more, but he only made it a couple inches before grimacing.

“Would you lie back and take it easy?” I said. “Before you break or bust something else?”

He didn’t right away, but Jesse eventually settled back against the rock. I zipped out of the rain jacket and wadded it into a makeshift pillow.

“Rowen,” he said, shaking his head, “put that back on right now. Don’t be crazy.”

“Jesse,” I rolled my eyes and carefully stuffed it behind his head, “don’t
you
be crazy. And don’t tell me what to do.” I rested my hand on the side of his neck, and even in the cold of the night and with the rain coating our skin, I felt the heat charging through our touch.

“Anything else?” he asked as he settled into the raincoat pillow.

“Yeah,” I said, lowering my face over his. “Stop pretending like what I did was insane. Stop pretending you wouldn’t have done the exact same thing if our roles were reversed.”

Jesse’s good arm lifted and his hand cradled my face. “That it?”

“No.” I shook my head. “Stop pretending like you’re mad at me because you suck at it.”

A chuckle rushed out of his mouth. “I suppose I do.” His thumb skimmed my cheek and, just like every other touch shared with Jesse, I melted into it. “But, Rowen, the guys would have found me. It wouldn’t have taken them much longer. Why did you risk your life to find me first?”

A hundred reasons. A thousand explanations. I’d do it a million times over.

“I’m working on that whole healthy thing.”

Jesse mirrored the smile on my face. “How is almost killing yourself healthy?”

I glanced over my shoulder, then back at him. “Because I’m here with you now.”

“Is this the same girl who pushed me away, ran away, and was so hung up on the deserve-don’t-deserve thing?”

“It’s the same girl. It’s just the same girl who let a few wise words from a couple wise people set in. The same girl who let a few of her own realizations set in.” I lowered my forehead to his, shielding us both from the storm. “Because I love you, Jesse. I know that I will love you more than any other person in the world ever could. Because you were right. Deserving has nothing to do with loving someone. I’m grabbing hold of what I want and not looking back.”

Jesse’s eyes stared into mine and they were as light as I’d seen them. “That sounds like a person who’s gotten past her ‘deserve’ hang up.”

I smiled. “Well, even if I haven’t gotten
all
the way past it, I figured this whole saving your life thing was a step in the right direction.” Jesse laughed, then winced. Apparently broken ribs and laughter didn’t go well together. “So? Am I forgiven?”

“For being so careless with your life?” I felt his forehead wrinkle beneath mine. “No way.”

I rocked my head back and forth against his. “No. For being careless with yours.”

His eyes narrowed in contemplation as he murmured, “Hmm . . .”

Since he was working on making up his mind, I might as well help him. My lips dropped to his and rested in place. I wasn’t sure I’d ever feel his lips again, for more than one reason, and I planned on enjoying the moment. When staying unmoving against him any longer was impossible, I sucked his lower lip into my mouth and tasted the rain coating it. I repeated the rain tasting with his upper lip.

By that point, Jesse’s chest was rising and falling hard against me. As much as I wanted to kiss him until everything around us faded, the man all but panting below me had a couple of broken ribs. I pressed a final kiss to his mouth before leaning back.

“Okay,” Jesse breathed, polishing his thumb over my lips. “You’re forgiven.”

If only everything were so easily fixed. But maybe, with Jesse, a lot of things could be so simple.

A light suddenly shone brightly down on us, startling me. I’d been so lost in the moment I’d almost forgotten the situation. I shielded my eyes and twisted around. The light came from a ways up, probably from the ridge.

“Am I breaking anything up?” a voice hollered down at us. “I can come back in twenty minutes or so if you want.”

Jesse groaned and sat up again.

I stood up. “Garth? Is that you?”

The light shifted away from us. When it stopped, it shined on Garth’s face.

“Convinced?” He flashed the light back down on us. “Maybe we can get you both out of there now.”

“I’d rather spend the night out here than have Garth Black come save the day,” Jesse muttered.