Lost and Found (12 page)

Oliver fell into step next to me as I walked my bicycle across the crosswalk. The hospital was only a few blocks from the library, and now that Oliver wasn’t working nights, we kept bumping into each other on the walk home.

Now he walked home with me every day, and he was eerily nice about it all. He zipped up his gray hoodie
against the fall chill in the air and pointed to the bike. “It’s squeaking. You should oil it.”

“Yes, Father,” I said.

He squinted. “
Cliff
should have done it.” He always said Cliff’s name with emphasis.

“Cliff didn’t do stuff like that.”

“Like what? Take care of you?”

“I can take care of myself, so no. He didn’t. It’s insul
ting.”

“No, it’s kind. It’s just a kind act,” he said. “I know you
can.
It’s not the ability. It’s the gesture. When you’re with someone, you want to take care of them, not because you feel like she can’t do it herself, but because you’re constantly trying to show her how much you love her. Life is short, and there’s not enough time for selfless acts, so you have to fit it in anywhere.

“And it’s not just that, it’s because you want to. You want to make her better. You want to be the best person you can.” A strange expression crossed his face, and he ran a hand over it as if he could erase it.

“Oh.” I wanted to ask him more, but his expression was closed off and angry, so we walked in silence.

As we reached the Victorian, Oliver opened the door for me and my bike, and then waited on the stairs while I stored it in the bas
ement. We fell into step side by side as we made our way to the third floor, and when I opened my door and offered some leftover enchiladas for dinner, Oliver nodded gratefully and made his way into my apartment.

Except when I walked into the kitchen, Oliver trailing right behind me, someone was sitting on the countertop, reading something on his phone. I stopped and Oliver
collided into my back as I stared at the man in front of me.

Cliff’s head popped up at the sound of our footsteps and he said, “Delaney! You’re home!” and hopped down to give me a big hug, Oliver stumbling backward as I said, “Cliff.”

“Cliff?” Oliver said. Cliff let go of me only for a moment, to pull me to his side and rest a hand on my hip.

“Nice to meet you.”
Cliff held out a hand to Oliver, but Oliver just stared at Cliff.

I gave Oliver an apologetic glance.
“Rain check on the enchiladas?”

Oliver didn’t say a word, just backed out of my apar
tment.

I freed myself from Cliff’s side. “What are you doing here?”

“Didn’t you get my texts? I was in town to see my parents, so I thought I’d stop by.”

I frowned down at my phone. “Sorry, it’s been off all day because of meetings. But how’d you get in?” He inched back toward me and nuzzled his nose in the crook of my neck, wrapping his arm around me, which always made me sigh. “Cliff?” I said in a strained tone.

“Your landlady,” he said with a wink.

“Mary? You seduced Mary?” I said, a hand fluttering to my chest.

“I didn’t seduce her. I was nice to her. I talked with her.”

“You seduced her. Worse, you charmed her.”

“Charm is bad all of a sudden?” he said, smiling at me charmingly.

“Why are you here?” I said as I stepped once more out of his reach, bumping into the counter b
ehind me.

“I missed you, Laney. Aren’t I allowed to miss you? I haven’t seen you in months.”

“What could you have possibly missed about me? You were never in the same place as me. My ass-dent in the sofa? The pre-warmed TV? The leftovers in the fridge?”

His face scrunched unattractively as if he were thin
king very, very hard. “You never used to swear.”

“Ass is hardly a swear word.”

“Is that guy who was in here your boyfriend? Is that what this is about?”

“
No.
God.
No.
”

“Then who is he?”

“Just my neighbor.”

“Just?”

I squirmed.

Right then, Jenny came up to me and I went to scoop her up. “What is that thing?” Cliff asked from behind me. “She was barking at me earlier. She nipped at my shoe.” He pointed to his foot and I stupi
dly looked down at it.

“It looks fine.”

“It is fine, but your dog tried to attack me.”

“Is that why you were on the counter?”

“Yes.”

“You were scared of her?” I examined the twenty pounds of terror, and then looked back at the two hu
ndred pounds of terror standing next to me. “This is Jenny. She’s a Rat Terrier, and maybe something else mixed in.”

“Honestly, Lane, you got a dog with ‘rat’ in the name? What were you thinking? That dog is ugly.”

I cooed into Jenny’s big floppy ear, “I missed you. Let’s go for a walk.” To Cliff I said, “I was thinking that we’re kindred spirits. We’re both ugly, so we understand the world in a way you wouldn’t.”

I got Jenny’s leash
and slammed the door on Cliff.

Laney and Jenny came out the building as I was pacing, smoking a cigarette. When Laney saw me she stopped so suddenly that Jenny’s leash went the full length before Laney turned and blinked at her dog. “You smoke?” she asked, in a bit of a daze.

“That’s what you’re going to say?
After
that
?” I said.

“After what?”

“Cliff!
Jesus.
Cliff.”

“What about Cliff?” Jenny tugged on her leash again, and Delaney started walking. I followed her, putting out my cigarette on the sidewalk when her eyes lingered on it. “You’re a doctor.”

“I know better. That’s why I’m done. And what do you mean, ‘What about Cliff?’ Don’t you think you could have once mentioned that Cliff was Cliff Burns? I have to know if that’s his real name.”

She gave me a tight smile. “Why would I mention Cliff, or his job? I never want to talk about Cliff.”

“Cliff Burns! From
Next Door.
Jesus.”

“Are you star struck? I can ask him for an aut
ograph, but he might say no,” she said.

I shook my head.
“Definitely not.”

“Then what?”

“Cliff Burns,” I muttered. I kept thinking about the man Delaney talked about. He was a jerk, and a loser, and a bum. But Cliff Burns was broad and muscled, with a granite jaw and movie star blond hair with a widow’s peak but somehow no receding hairline. It was Hollywood magic. And he wasn’t as tall as me, but his face was unreal, like a painting, like someone had conjured him.

I pulled my hand through my hair, remembering it was greasy as it stuck to my scalp after a long shift. Cliff Burns did not have greasy hair.

This was the guy Delaney had left. This was the last guy she’d been with. I wiped my hand down the front of my scrub shirt and saw a glob of the candy bar I’d eaten on the walk home with Delaney. Cliff was probably Scotchgarded against things like this.

Delaney turned the corner and I stopped. “What’s wrong?” she said, waiting for me.

“Nothing,” I said, and turned and walked back to the apartment to get more cigarettes. But I bumped into Cliff near the mailboxes. He lifted his head and said, “Hey.”

I gave him a curt nod and walked past him to the stairwell.

“Is she doing okay? Laney?” he said to my back.

“Laney’s fine,” I said without turning.
“Tough like always.”

Cliff barked. “Laney is tough?
Since when?”

I turned to meet his gaze.
“Since always. She’s an independent spirit.”

“Huh,” he said, and leaned on the mailboxes and crossed his a
nkles. “You into her?”

“She’s a friend,” I said, not answering his que
stion.

“Yeah, that’s the great thing about Delaney. She’s so shy, and she’s so afraid of what people think that she never flirts with guys. She’s grateful, you know? She’s grateful for attention, and she’ll do an
ything to make me happy. I get that now.”

I gritted my teeth. “I think we’re talking about different wo
men.”

He wasn’t listening as he blathered on. “That’s the thing about girls who think they’re ugly.”

I balled up my fists and he must have noticed, because he said, “Hey, man, I didn’t say she was ugly. She’s gorgeous. I know that. It’s what she thinks, though, right? It shows through. Guys leave her alone because they can’t see it. That’s what’s so great. She’s never going to be the type of girl who leaves me for another guy. Not even when I make a mistake.”

“I don’t get it. Didn’t she leave you? Isn’t that why she’s here?”

He shook his head. “This was temporary. She’s coming back.”

“She told you that?”

“She will,” he said with a smile, and brushed past me, taking the steps up, two at a time.

“He’s obviously jealous,” Emily said.

“Of what?”
I asked, taking a bite of my ham and cheese, the silver medal Olympian of sandwiches, second only to the patty melt with Swiss.

“Of Cliff, duh,” Ursula said as she bit into her own sandwich, her eyes fluttering closed for a moment. “Cheese and bread are a winning co
mbination.”

“The
winningest.”

After she chewed and swallowed, she said, “It’s obvious that Ol
iver is fond of you.”

Emily snorted. “You could say that.”

“Oliver is
not
fond of me. He just the other day was looking at my legs in disgust.”

“He
saw
your legs?”

“Well,” I hedged, “sometimes I forget to wear my running tights when we run.”

“You forgot to wear tights?” Emily asked. “You never forget to wear tights. You’re like, a Tights Security Officer. You’re like your own personal Tights Gestapo. You’re like the Tights—”

“She gets it,” Ursula said. “Maybe she forgot her tights because she feels comfortable around Oliver because Ol
iver is a good guy, unlike
Cliff,
because you never forgot your tights around Cliff.”

“That’s because I lived in LA with Cliff,” I said.

“That’s exactly my point!” Emily said, throwing up her hands. “You lived in LA! Where it was hot all the time! You should have let loose and lost the tights once in a while!”

“I lived in LA with actresses and supermodels, some of whom my boyfriend worked with.”

“And worked
on,
” Emily said. When Ursula and I both stared at her, she said, “Sorry. Sorry.”

“So, how
is
Cliff?” Ursula said.

“Cliff is Cliff,” I said. “Honestly, I’ve barely spoken to him. I’ve been working a lot, and when I come home I’m exhausted, so I basically just go to sleep. I don’t even know why he’s here. He said it was to visit me, but he hasn’t wanted to come to the library, and when I asked him to lunch, he said he had a call with his agent.” I shrugged. “So, Cliff is Cliff. This is about how it went in LA. I don’t know much.”

“Is he staying with you?” Emily said with accusation in her tone, since she already knew the answer.

“Yes,” I said. Then I added, “I’m on the couch, so don’t worry.”

“Wait,
you’re
on the couch?” Ursula asked.

“He has a bad back,” I said. “He can’t sleep on the couch.”

“But you’re not in the bed with him?” Ursula said in a low, panicked tone. “Not ever, right?”

“Right,” I said slowly. “Ursula, are you alright? You look sick.”

“Are you going to get back together with him? Because I don’t know if I could take you leaving again,” Ursula said, and Emily put a soothing hand on her back and said, “Of course she’s not going back.” Emily shot me a pleading look.

“Do you want some water?” I asked Ursula.

“I’m fine,” Ursula said. “Be right back. I need to make a phone call.” After she left the apartment to walk into the hallway, I turned to Emily. “What was that?”

“Ursula missed you,” she said. “She doesn’t want you to leave again. Plus, Cliff?
Really?”

I shrugged. “He’s Cliff.”

“Yeah, we know,” she said. “That’s what worries me.”

“What’s up, Urs?” I said as I swallowed a piece of my ham and cheese, the best combination of sweet and savory in a food that existed, except for maybe salted caramel or chocolate-dipped pretzels. Delaney had made some of those the other day. I wiped my hands on my sweats.

“It’s Delaney,” she said, and I sat up.

“What about Delaney? Is she okay?” I stared at my apartment door. I’d been avoiding running into her and Cliff in the hallway, actually using my peep hole to spy on them, when they came and went, so I wouldn’t have to see her or her asshole boyfriend’s face. Except I hadn’t seen them together. Not once.

“She’s okay. Wait, no she’s not. I mean, she is, but she’s not.”

“Spit it out, Ursula.”

“It’s Cliff. He’s a user. He’s crashing at Lane’s.”

“I know,” I said.

“You have to save her from him. He’s trying to get her back. I just know it.” She sucked in a breath. “I was thinking maybe you could ask her out on a date. Sweep her off her feet. Make Cliff look like the piece of baloney he really is. She’s never been wooed like that. It would be good for her. And I know how you feel about her. I thought maybe it was a bad idea. M
ichael said…”

“Michael said what?”

“It doesn’t matter. You’re not great, but you’re better than Cliff.”

“Thanks?”

“It’s a compliment.”

“Not much of one,” I said.

“So will you do it?”

“
Urs….I don’t know.”

“Why don’t you know? You should know. You know she’s great. It would just be to get Cliff out of the way, and then you could sort things out with her.”

“I do. She’s great.” I paused, unsure of how to follow this up.

“And?”

“And I don’t think I can do that. Delaney’s a friend,” I said. She was too good of a friend, and I couldn’t mess with her emotions that way. I pressed my face to the door again to look out of the peep hole to an empty hallway.

“Right,” she said. “She’s a friend. That’s why you keep texting me bitching about Cliff. That’s why you send me photos of Jenny.
Because Delaney is just a friend.”

“I don’t mean it like that. She’s a good friend,” I ad
ded. “I care about her a lot.”

“Then do this for her. Keep her away from Cliff and LA.”

“Can’t.”

“WHY NOT?”

“Don’t you think that would hurt her?
Me pretending to like her and then changing my mind? Since you obviously don’t want me with her.”

“Delaney’s strong, and she could take it. It’s not like you mean that much to her,” she said coldly. “It wouldn’t be a big deal to her.”

“You think so?” I said too loudly.

“I do.”

“I won’t. I’m not attracted to her,” I lied. I knew Ursula knew it was a lie, but I couldn’t think of anything else. Ursula wasn’t in a mood to understand me, and I couldn’t explain about Mia, or about how I knew Delaney would capitulate to Cliff. Cliff knew what he was doing with Delaney. There wasn’t any point, and I couldn’t get involved.

“There’s nothing I can do about Cliff and Delaney,” I started, and that’s when I real
ized Ursula had hung up on me.