Lost Angel (43 page)

‘I know it was stupid,’ Zeta answered defensively. ‘But when you’ve got sod all to hang onto, anything’s better than nothing. Anyway, now you know, so I’ll go.’

‘You can’t just walk away from this,’ Johnny said incredulously. ‘If it’s true – and I’m not saying I believe it – but
if
it is, then there’s a great big mess that needs sorting out. Ryan and Angel are married, and that’s against the law.’

‘So are a lot of things,’ Zeta said pointedly. ‘I might be black, and I might have done stuff that I’m not proud of, but I’m not as stupid as people seem to think. I know my son’s been working for you, and there’s no job that pays as much as he’s been coming home with for a couple of hours’ work of a night. No legal one, anyhow.’

‘Stop trying to change the subject,’ Lisa chipped in. ‘Marrying your own brother is major. Have you any idea how much trouble they’d get into if anyone found out? And they’re having a
baby
. What if it comes out with two heads, or something?’

‘Jeezus, Lisa, do you have to?’ Johnny groaned.

‘I’m sorry, but it needs saying,’ Lisa replied.

‘There’s no point talking about it,’ Zeta said wearily. ‘I tried to stop it, but I was too late, so we might as well just forget it. They’re married, and they’re having a baby, and I know he loves her, so what’s the point of wrecking their lives?’

‘They can’t stay married now we know,’ Johnny gasped. ‘It’s not right.’

‘What’s the difference?’ Zeta asked. ‘Seriously. They’ve already done it, and that can’t be undone. Anyhow, it’s not like they grew up with each other and knew what they were doing. That
would
be wrong. But they haven’t got a clue. They just met and fell in love. They’re innocent.’

‘
We
know,’ Johnny reminded her. ‘Shit, they’re supposed to be living in my house when they get back off their honeymoon – but how can I let them share a bed like a normal married couple now?’

‘If you love them, you’ll just have to try,’ Zeta said simply.

‘Are you for real?’ Johnny’s expression was a study in utter disbelief. ‘It’s
sick
. I’m not having my daughter screwing her own brother.’

‘If they don’t know, it won’t hurt them,’ Zeta argued.

‘But what if they find out further down the line?’ Lisa asked. ‘Or should I say
when
they find out, ’cos they’re bound to. The kid will probably be deformed in some way, and it might end up needing all sorts of operations. So what happens when the hospital do blood tests and put two and two together?’ She stared from Zeta to Johnny. ‘Sorry for being so blunt about it, but this isn’t going to go away. They need to be told, and this marriage needs to be annulled asap.’

Johnny closed his eyes and lowered his head into his hands. Lisa was right, but it was going to absolutely break Angel’s heart. And the baby was something else they were going to have to deal with. Knowing Angel, she might still refuse to have an abortion, and what then . . . ? They’d be stuck with it for life.

37

Ruth was in bed, reading a book by the light of the lamp, when Johnny got home that night. He knew she’d been waiting up for him when he saw that she was wearing a negligee instead of her usual flannelette cover-all nightie. She had on eyeliner and lipstick, and she’d brushed her hair and left it loose so that it lay softly around her shoulders.

Johnny had always liked her hair. It was thick and glossy and always smelled sweet, and the fact that she was wearing it down was a clear signal that she was up for sex. But he doubted she’d still want it when she heard what he had to say.

He desperately didn’t want to tell her, because he knew that it would turn their entire world on its head. If she let him stay – and it was a very big
if
– she would be in total control, and she would make sure that he knew it. And he wouldn’t blame her after the way he’d treated her over the years. But she could just as easily kick him out on his arse. So, either way, his life was going to be shit from here on in. But he had to tell her because he had to tell Angel and Ryan, and there was no way of doing that without Ruth finding out.

‘You look tired,’ Ruth said, looking up at him and noticing the lines etched on his face. ‘I told you to leave that paperwork for Dave. You’d already had a stressful day, what with the wedding and everything.’ She smiled now, and closed her book. ‘Angel rang while you were out, by the way. They’ve booked into the hotel and were just about to have dinner. Then they were going to wander down to the arcades for the last hour. She sounded that excited, I was a bit jealous.’

‘Ruth,’ Johnny said quietly. ‘There’s something I need to tell you . . .’

‘No!’ Ruth gaped at him as if he’d just admitted to murdering the pope. ‘No, you’re lying.’

‘I’m so sorry,’ Johnny murmured, his shoulders drooping as he sat miserably on the edge of the bed. ‘I didn’t believe it. Still don’t want to. But it all fits.’

‘How could you?’ Ruth was crying now. ‘How could you do this to me? I’ve given my whole life to you.’

‘I know,’ Johnny said, reaching for her hand.

‘Don’t!’ she hissed, slapping his hand away. ‘Don’t you dare touch me. You disgust me. I’m not stupid,’ she went on through gritted teeth. ‘I know you’ve had other women. But this . . .’ She trailed off and shook her head, the pain of his betrayal shining out through the tears. ‘You’ve had a baby with someone else.’

‘I didn’t know,’ Johnny reminded her. ‘It wasn’t like I’ve been playing Daddy to him behind your back. Angel’s my only child – always has been, always will be.’

‘But she’s not, though, is she?’ Ruth spat. ‘Not if what you’re saying is true. And I can’t imagine why you’d tell me if it wasn’t. After everything I’ve been through, that was the only thing I had that no one else could give you. Your first child. Except she’s not.’

‘She is to me,’ Johnny insisted. ‘In my heart, where it counts.’

‘Oh, Johnny, what have you done?’ Ruth asked plaintively.

‘I didn’t know,’ he said again, shaking his head. ‘I honestly didn’t know.’

He looked so miserable, Ruth knew that he was telling the truth. She pushed the quilt aside and got up onto her knees, pulling him into her arms. He was her man, and good women supported their men through thick and thin. If they stuck together, they would get through this.

‘We’ll have to tell them,’ Johnny said quietly. ‘And we’re going to have to stop them from having this baby as well. It’s not too late, is it?’

‘I don’t know.’ Ruth sighed. ‘I’ll make an appointment at the clinic.’ She inhaled sharply. ‘Do you think we’d best ring Angel before they – you know?’

‘They’ve probably already done it,’ Johnny said resignedly. ‘They’re on honeymoon. Anyway, it’s too late to worry about that now. It’s not like they haven’t done it before.’

‘Only once.’

‘Once, twice, a thousand times – what difference does it make? No.’ Johnny exhaled loudly. ‘Might as well let them enjoy the next few days, ’cos God knows they won’t be enjoying themselves after they get back.’

38

Angel was glowing when she stepped off the train, and Johnny felt sick to his heart when she ran into his arms.

‘Did you have a good time?’ he asked, holding her tighter than he’d ever held her before.

‘Oh, Daddy, it was amazing,’ she gushed. ‘The best time of my life.’ Detaching herself when Ryan walked up with their case and several carrier bags, she linked arms with him and laid her head on his shoulder. ‘Ryan’s been treating me like a queen.’

‘Good,’ Johnny muttered, shaking the boy’s hand.

‘It’s been fantastic,’ Ryan told him. ‘Had to force her out of the arcades, though, or we’d have been broke on the first day. You’ve raised a right little gambler.’

Johnny groaned inwardly when the pair gazed lovingly into each other’s eyes. They were absolutely crazy about each other, but in twenty short minutes their world would be torn apart irreparably. And it was all his fault.

‘So, have you missed me?’ Angel teased as they walked out to the car.

‘Course I have,’ Johnny told her. He held the back door open for her.

‘I’ve missed you, too,’ she told him, giggling as she climbed inside. ‘Ryan had to tell me off because I kept wanting to ring you.’

‘At two and three in the morning,’ Ryan said. ‘I told her you wouldn’t be interested in what was going on outside our bedroom window, but she wanted to ring every time anyone laughed out there, she was that excited.’

Johnny smiled tightly, and closed the door when Ryan had climbed in beside Angel.

He was quiet on the drive home, but Angel didn’t notice because she was too busy gushing about the fantastic hotel, their lovely room, the brilliant rides on the fair, the money she’d lost in the arcades . . .

Ruth had been waiting nervously. When she saw the car, she ran to the door.

‘Hi, Mum,’ Angel trilled, jumping out and giving her a hug.

They had never been as close as a mother and daughter were supposed to be, and Ruth was taken aback by the overt show of affection.

‘Come in,’ she said, unsure how to deal with it. ‘I’ll put the kettle on.’

Rita wandered out of the parlour.

‘Hiya, nan.’ Angel waved. ‘I’ve brought you back some rock.’

Rita raised an eyebrow and looked at Ruth. When Ruth gave her a warning look and mouthed
Not yet
, she shook her head and went back into her room.

‘Put the case in our room,’ Angel told Ryan when he came in behind her dad with the bags. Giggling, she said, ‘Sounds funny, that, doesn’t it?
Our
room.’ She gave a happy sigh and took the carrier bags off him. ‘I’ll wait till you come down, then we can give them their presents.’

Ruth and Johnny exchanged a hooded glance and traipsed into the kitchen.

Ruth put the kettle on and made a pot of tea.

‘This is for you,’ Angel said, her eyes glowing as she took a small, neatly wrapped present out of one of the carrier bags and handed it to her mum. ‘I love it – hope you do too.’

Ruth peeled the paper off and smiled when she saw the necklace. It was a tiny silver rose pendant on a delicate silver chain.

‘It’s beautiful,’ she said.

Angel smiled and took another present out of the bag. ‘This is yours.’ She handed it to her dad. ‘I let Ryan pick it, so don’t blame me if you hate it.’

Johnny opened it and raised an eyebrow when he saw the matching cigarette lighter and keyring.

‘It’s great. Thanks. I’m always losing my lighters, but I’ll look after this one. And I needed a new keyring.’

‘See, I told you he’d like it,’ Ryan told Angel proudly.

‘Men,’ she scoffed. ‘There’s a load of rock as well,’ she went on, reaching back into the bag. ‘They’re all different flavours, so you’ll have to have a root and decide which ones you want.’

Ruth looked at Johnny and gave a surreptitious nod. He took a deep breath and said, ‘Angel, hush for a minute, darlin’ . . . there’s something we need to tell you.’

‘
Nooooo . . .
’ Angel wailed. ‘No, I don’t believe you! You’re lying!’

‘I wish we were, baby,’ Johnny put his arms around her. ‘I swear to God I had no idea, or I’d have told you.’

Ryan’s face was a mask of shock and disbelief. ‘This ain’t real,’ he mumbled. ‘This ain’t real . . .’

‘I’m so sorry.’ Ruth reached over and patted his hand. ‘We both are.’

‘You’re lying,’ Angel said again, dragging herself free of her father’s arms. ‘You’ve been planning this all along to punish us.’

‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ said Ruth.

‘Shut up!’ Angel yelled, slamming her fist down on the tabletop. ‘
You
probably came up with it, ’cos that’s the kind of twisted thing you’d do.’

‘Angel, this is my doing, it’s got nothing to do with your mum,’ Johnny told her firmly. ‘She only found out a couple of days ago – same as me.’

‘Don’t talk to me,’ Angel spat, glaring at him with the grief of betrayal in her eyes. ‘You’re my dad – you’re supposed to look after me.’

‘I have,’ Johnny said helplessly. ‘I
will
. But we had to tell you – you understand that, don’t you?’

‘No,’ she sobbed, shaking her head and clutching at her stomach. ‘No, I don’t understand. Me and Ryan love each other, and you just want to destroy us because your marriage is a joke. But you can’t. No one can. ’Cos we’re too strong for that.’

‘You’re brother and sister,’ Johnny told her.

‘I don’t care,’ Angel hissed. ‘That’s your problem, not ours. We’re married, and there’s nothing you can do about it.’

‘Angel, get real,’ Johnny groaned. ‘What do you think’s going to happen when the baby’s born? There’s every chance it’ll be deformed.’

‘I . . . don’t . . . care,’ Angel said slowly and angrily. ‘It’s
our
baby, and we’ll love it whatever it looks like.’

‘It’s not just what it looks like that you’ve got to worry about,’ Johnny told her. ‘It could have brain damage, or be blind, or deaf.
Anything
could be wrong with it.’

‘I’ve made an appointment at the clinic,’ Ruth chipped in. ‘The sooner we get it taken care of, the sooner we’ll be able to sort out the rest of this mess.’

‘How dare you?’ Angel snarled. ‘You’ve got no right, and I won’t go. I am having my baby, and if you try to stop me I’ll go to the police. And I
mean
it. You’re not murdering my baby.’

Rita had wandered in. She tutted loudly when she heard this, and said, ‘Don’t you come marching in here shouting the odds like you’re the queen bee, lady, ’cos you’ve had your own flaming way for too damn long. This is
our
house.’ She pointed from herself to Ruth. ‘And we’ll decide what happens in it.’

‘Stick your house,’ Angel yelled at her. ‘And stick you. I’ve never liked it here, anyway. Come on, Ryan, we’ll go to your mum’s.’

‘We can’t,’ he said, the shock still evident in his voice.

‘Fine, then we’ll go to my Aunt Lisa’s. She won’t turn us away.’

‘You’re going nowhere,’ Johnny said firmly. ‘Just sit down, ’cos we’re going to talk about this whether you like it or not.’

He stared at his daughter, and she stared stubbornly back.

‘Don’t make me say it again,’ he warned her quietly.