Lost Avalon: A Finding Nolan Novel (8 page)

             
He was chewing on his bottom lip, trying to hide the internal struggle between what he wanted and what he knew he should want.

             
“I can’t go to rehab.”

             
“Blaise –“

             
“I’ll get clean, Ava. I just, I can’t go check myself in at some facility.” He was shaking his head defiantly.

             
“Then how do you plan to do it?” It was the first thing Royce had said since before my big breakdown.

             
Blaise locked his eyes on me. “Ava. Ava can help me.”

             
“Not with this.”

             
“Yes, you can. You’re the only one I trust to this with me. Please.”

             
I shook my head. “This isn’t about trust. This is about knowing that I will do anything for you if you ask me to. Sure, today it’s getting clean, but tomorrow it will be the exact opposite.”

             
He took a step toward me, placing both hands on my shoulders to keep me from turning away. “No, it won’t be. I swear. Look, I know you’re right. About all of it. And I will do whatever it takes to get better…as long as no one finds out.”

             
“What?”

             
“No one else can know about this. Not Derek, not Angel. Definitely not the label or the media. I’ll get clean, quietly. With your help.”

             
Royce’s stance in the doorway finally relaxed. “How exactly do you see this playing out Blaise?”

             
It was an excellent question.

             
Blaise shrugged. “The tour’s almost over. After that, we’ll just go lay low until I’m over the worst of it.”

             
“We’ll just lay low? How do you suggest we do that? People are going to notice if we both walk into your house and then don’t come back out for two weeks. They’re going to think something.”

             
“Yeah. They’ll think that we’re a couple. And we’ll let them. In fact, that’s what we should tell people.” His eyes were getting bigger as the wheels in his head started turning. “We’ll tell everyone that we’ve decided to take our relationship to the next level. Everyone will totally understand when we drop out of sight then. They’ll just think we’re doing it twenty-four seven.”

             
I had to close my eyes to let it all sink in. “Have you lost your mind?”

             
“It’s actually not a bad idea.” Suddenly having Royce there didn’t seem so helpful.

             
“Yes, it is. It’s a horrible idea! Who is going to believe that we’re suddenly a couple? And even if they do, what will that do to my reputation? That’s not exactly professional behavior.”

             
“Oh come off it, Ava. No one is going to care. And neither should you. Unless you’re planning on shopping around for new clients anytime soon.” Blaise gave me a probing glare.

             
“That all depends on how well you do during
rehab
.” I actually used the finger quotation marks on that one.

             
“Does that mean you’ll do it?”

             
“Fuck. Yeah. I’ll do it. But there’s no way I’m sitting locked up in your house for two weeks straight. If I have to spend all that time in isolation with you, I’m doing it where I can get a tan. Plus, you owe me a trip to Bora Bora anyway.”

             
I didn’t wait for an answer from either one of them. I just turned and walked back into the bathroom and closed the door behind me. It was high time I made use of the ten massaging shower heads in there.

***

              Royce and I just stood there staring at the closed door. Then we heard the water go on in the shower and realized she wasn’t coming back out anytime soon.

             
“What are you going to do when you’re sober?” Royce was looking way too satisfied with himself.

             
“What do you mean?”

             
“I mean, what are you going to do when there’s no more reason to play pretend? Are you hoping she just gets so used to acting like your girlfriend that she’ll forget that she’s not?”

             
He wasn’t blocking the fucking door anymore, so I was free to make my exit. Which I did.

             
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

             
“Sure you don’t.” Royce was following me out of the room and back into the kitchen.

             
“Look. I don’t expect you to understand my relationship with Ava.”

             
Royce shrugged. “What’s to understand? You’re in love with her.”

             
“This is what I’m talking about. Why do people always assume that when a guy and a girl are close friends, it means that one of them has to be in love with the other?”

             
Royce went to get the cup of coffee he had abandoned before shit got heated. “I don’t assume that.” He took a sip, made a face and stuck the coffee in the microwave. “I would have no problem believing that the two of you were best friends who had a completely platonic relationship…if I didn’t know for a fact that it was complete and utter bullshit.” His coffee was done and he took another drink, this time with better results. “If it makes you feel any better, she’s clearly in love with you, too. Although, unlike you, I don’t think she’s aware of it.” Then he took his cup and left to go out onto the terrace.

             
Unlike me? Where was he coming up with this…this ridiculous…truth. It was true. I
was
in love with Ava. And she felt the same way about me. Thing Royce in all his smugness had failed to see was that I’d made damn sure she
stayed
unaware of it.

Chapter 7

It took some
creative travel arrangements and a little help from my assistant Francis who was back in L.A. holding down the fort as usual, but the three of us made it to Arizona just in time for that night’s concert. It was the last one of the tour. We literally arrived at curtain call, which was how I’d intended it but it had its plusses and minuses. The plus being that neither Angel nor Derek had any time to drill us about our whereabouts. The not so plusses meant walking out onto stage blindly without having had a chance to see the venue or be present during sound check, which Blaise in particular preferred to do himself whenever possible.

             
Given the new circumstances, I had instructed Gary to cancel the usual after party and exchange it for a mellow and very organized meet and greet. The fans wouldn’t be thrilled, but they’d still get their usual pics and autographs and it would have to do. Meanwhile, the ones who’d be really pissed were the usual groupies hanging around chatting up the security and roadies waiting for the magic moment when the doors opened and they got to party with the rock stars. That wasn’t happening tonight. Or at least, not officially. If Angel and a few of the roadies wanted to have some fun, I wasn’t about to stop them, but Blaise was calling it an early night. I just hoped he wouldn’t put up too much of a fight.

             
In spite of having agreed to clean up, I knew he had raided the minibar before we left. Then, before boarding the plane he’d popped two pills he claimed were ibuprofen, only they hadn’t been little brown tablets, they’d been white. And I wasn’t an idiot. I wasn’t foolish enough to think that he would quit cold turkey when he still had one last show to perform.

             
As his friend it pissed me off to no end that he was sneaking around doing the very thing he had promised not to. As his manager, I was relieved to see that he was acting exactly as expected. All I needed was for him to get through one more performance, after that, I was cutting him off. The manager would disappear and he’d be left with just me.

“So, you gonna tell me what the hell happened to you guys in New Mexico or what?” Gary didn’t seem too happy with me, finally having tracked me down after the show. He stood there with his hands on his hips, his beer belly pointing at me accusingly and his angry red cheeks peeking out over his handlebar mustache.

              “There was some miscommunicating on my part. I apologize if it caused you any problems, Gary. I promise it won’t happen again.” It was about as generic an excuse as I could have given and I doubted it would really placate him.

“Miscommunication my ass. Darrel said he saw you storm out of there with your bags last night. Next thing he knew, Blaise was missing. What the hell ki
nd of idiot you think I am, Ava”

“No one thinks you’re an idiot, Gary.” It was Blaise. Behind him were the others, all clean and refreshed and ready to meet a round of horny women all expecting to get a handful of
something
before the night was over. “And this wasn’t Ava’s fault. It was mine.” He turned back toward his band mates and I felt a wave of nausea rush through the pit of my stomach. This was it. He was about to set his grand plan into motion. Why was I so certain no one would even believe him?

“Thing is, Ava and I have been seeing each other. Secretly. We didn’t want it to affect the band. But, after you guys basically caught us yesterday morning, we figured there’s really no point in trying to hide it any longer.”

He reached out and took my hand, tugging me over until I was standing beside him, an awkward smile plastered all across my face.

Angel was the first to say anything. Only it was to Royce. “You knew, didn’t you?”

He nodded. “Guess you could say I figured it out for myself.”

Then it was Derek’s turn. “So, what was last night? You two needed a little alone time or something?”

I made a face. “Well, Royce was with us, so not exactly.”

“It was supposed to be just us, kind of an early end of tour celebration, but there was a mix up and Ava and I ended up in different places and since Royce already knew –“

“- I got roped into the whole mess by default.”

“Which kind of ruined the whole thing. No offense,” Blaise finished.

I glanced around at Gary and the others skeptically. No way had they bought that. I sure as shit hadn’t. Obviously I knew it was a lie, but still. It had Blaise’s BS signature all over it.

Then, it happened. Gary smiled. Angel gave Blaise a congratulatory pat on the back and Derek reached over and gave me a hug, while Royce stood there, barely able to contain himself.

“It’s about time you two admitted it,” Derek said, now going to shake Blaise’s hand. “I’ve been telling Sammy forever that the two of you are perfect for each other.”

I felt like my life had jumped over into an alternate dimension. On what planet were Blaise and I perfect for one another? Even without the booze and self-destruction, Blaise was a manwhore who had the attention span of a fruit fly when it came to women. Surely, I was suited for someone with just slightly more staying power. The other thing I couldn’t help but notice was how no one seemed to question where Lee fit into this new turn of events.

“Thanks guys. You don’t know how much your support means to us.” Blaise was grinning broadly, and I realized, still holding onto my hand. Something he didn’t do anything about as he turned and began walking toward the lounge where the VIP’s were waiting for Finding Nolan to make their appearance.

Next thing I knew, he was opening the door and walking in, taking me along.

“What are you doing?” I hissed, trying to shake my hand loose without drawing any attention to it. “Let go. People will see.”

He only gripped my hand tighter, winking at me out of the corner of his eye while he gave the bulk of his attention to the female fans about to swarm him. “Let them see. People can jump to their own conclusions.”

And that they did. Almost instantly I felt the backlash of conclusions being drawn all around the room by women who were not so discretely making it known that they would have gladly scratched out both my eyes with their jamberry nails.

Others were apparently more comfortable taking a route of denial. For some reason, they pissed me off more than the ones prepared to risk their manicures to do away with me.

“Hey Blaise.” A blonde with big boobs and a tattoo on her collar bone that said ‘bite me’ had strolled right over and draped both arms around his neck while I was standing right beside them, unhappily attached. “When you were up there singing Be Gentle, Be Kind I swear, I had an orgasm just watching your lips move and imagining what they would feel like moving over my body.” Then, she closed her eyes and whispered his own lyrics into his ear, “I love alone. Uninvited and unwanted. My days are empty and my nights are haunted.” No shit sweetheart. I didn’t know whether to laugh or punch her. And both of those reactions were a serious problem. What did I care if he set her panties on fire or not. I was his manager. Not his girlfriend, even if that was what we were now telling people.