Lost Chances (2 page)

And there was that smile—small and rushed, but she didn't miss it. She'd never miss it. "You want me to call your brothers or do you want to stay?"

Smart, Sophia.
"I'll stay."

"I would love for you to help me, if it's not too much. My grandparents wanted their ashes spread across the river." He glanced away and she missed his eyes immed
iately.

His Adam's apple bobbed up and down when he swa
llowed. "I'll go with you. Always."

The last word came out before she could stop it and she prayed that it was all in her head and didn't just blurt that out. By the way his eyes widened, she'd said it aloud.

"If you want to wait out here, I'll get Grandma's urn." He left quickly without really waiting on her to speak again.

It seemed to take forever as she bounced from one foot to the other. Most of the time when she got to be around Cooper it happened with her brothers tagging along. They were all friends and she was just the little sister they picked on.

"Okay, let's do this."

She felt her feet leave the ground when he showed up behind her. She'd been so distracted, she never heard him coming. The exhausted look in his eyes made her wonder if he'd slept any the night before. How did she miss the dark circles earlier?

"Alright, and then you need to get some rest. Did you sleep at all last night?"

He put the urn into the truck beside the other one and just shook his head. "I couldn't even go into the house last night. Damn it! I wasn't ready for this. Not so soon after Grandma."

This time she heard the sob and watched him squeeze his eyes shut. Feeling his tears on her hand earlier had nearly killed her and now she witnessed them slip down his face. She lifted onto her tiptoes to wrap her arms around his broad shoulders.

"I'm so sorry, Cooper." She kissed his cheek and felt the wet tears against her lips. "Please, don't cry. I'm so used to you laughing and you're killing me with your tears."

He rested his head on her shoulder. "Thank you for being here for me, Sophia. I don't have anyone."

She pulled back, but kept her hands on the back of his neck. "That's not true! You know my brothers would've been here no matter what."

"I know, but it's different. I wouldn't be able to open up to them. You're special." He tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

She dropped to her heels and let go. This was too much to handle. His emotions ran wild and she couldn't take advantage of that, especially when she'd be the one hurt in the long run.

"Let's head to the river."

****

Cooper contemplated falling to his knees in front of Sophia and begging her to hold him again. She wore a black dress with shoes that showed her perfect little toes and her hair was partially pulled up. Very little, if any, make-up covered her face. She was a natural beauty.

Funny how, o
nly right over a week ago, his grandpa had pointed that out to Cooper. Not that he'd never noticed, but when his grandpa told him he better not miss that opportunity, it clicked.

He planned on telling her how he felt a few days after that, until his phone rang and his whole world changed. His grandpa had a heart attack while at the store.

That wasn't completely true. Grandpa died from his heart being broken. Losing Grandma had been so hard on Cooper, but even harder on her husband. It didn't matter though; when he broke down after her funeral, Grandpa had been there to comfort him—even though he was the one who should've been comforted.

Now, Cooper was relying on Sophia to help him through another loss.

"I should drive." Her sweet voice stopped him.

Letting her drive would be a mistake. At least he could have some distraction. "I'll be fine."

They loaded the empty urns back into the truck and he couldn’t stop himself from helping Sophia into the truck, too. Touching her seemed enough to calm him and ease the tightness in his chest.

"Thank you."

She was a beauty with her long brown hair and those ever-changing eyes that looked green right then.

"My pleasure." Before he did something he'd r
egret, Cooper walked to the other side and got in. It was a short ride back to the house, but seemed forever when neither of them spoke.

He glanced over and caught her rubbing her hands t
ogether. Considering it was at least ninety outside, it had to be her nerves. He's noticed her doing that in the past when she felt upset or nervous. The night he watched her graduate, she actually did it on stage, before giving her speech.

"I didn't get to tell you, but I really enjoyed your speech at your graduation." He parked the truck in front of the house, glad he peeked over in time to catch her blush. Why had he waited so long to realize how perfect she was?

"I was nervous and faltered a few times. I'm just glad to be finished." Those hands of hers kept twisting back and forth.

Cooper jumped out and walked around to help her. The bags he had packed in the house were sitting at the door and once he said goodbye to Sophia, he'd be gone. He wanted to spend whatever time with her that he could and didn't want it to all be bad.

"Do you still want some company?" She didn't turn her gaze up at him.

Screw it. He grabbed a hold of her face and leaned in for a kiss. The whole time he waited for her to shove him away and knee him in the groin, but she didn't. Within seconds, she let go and opened her lips to let him in.

He tasted honey. So damn sweet that he just wanted to fill himself up with her. Thank the Lord she’d turned eighteen a few months back. He was sure if her brothers found out, they'd kill him, but they'd have turned him in if he'd tried any sooner. No matter how long they'd been best friends.

Regretfully, he pulled back and stared into her eyes. Just then, he realized it was okay. She looked in a daze and then her lips curved just enough to let him know she liked the kiss just as much as he.

"I've been dying to do that for a while now."

It took her a moment, then her eyes widened and her mouth fell open. "You wanted to kiss me?"

"Girl, you just don't know how perfect you are." He had to move or he'd kiss her again and didn't think he'd be able to stop himself from going further. "Let's go inside."

Her small hand held tight to his, he led her into the house until he was forced to stop when she nearly tripped over one of his bags. Shit.

"Are you going to stay somewhere else?"

Everything in his body wanted to tell her no, that he wasn't going anywhere, but he had to leave. It was time to move on and find out what he wanted to do with his life. Sophia deserved someone so much better than him.

"Cooper? Where are you going?"

She grabbed his hand that he'd pulled away without r
ealizing. The pained look nearly knocked him to his knees.

He had to tell her. Before she helped him, he planned on leaving without telling anyone and now she was standing there in front of him, waiting for an explan
ation. "I'm leaving here."

"This house?" There was no way she would let it slide.

"I'm leaving town. I need to see what I want to do with my life."

She walked away and sat down on the couch. "You were going to just kiss me and then leave. Were you even going to tell me?"

When he didn't say anything, her eyes filled with tears.

"I can't believe you were actually going to leave town without telling anyone." Now the tears fell down her rosy cheeks and dripped onto her dress, leaving darker spots on the fabric.

Nothing in the world would keep him from comforting her. He sat down beside her and lifted her onto his lap. She swiped at her tears and let him, but didn't look at him. The avoidance killed him.

"I'm sorry. It's stupid of me to act this way. You shouldn't be trying to make me feel better. It just hurt that you didn't plan on telling me."

All he could see was the tip of her nose and her brown hair as she rested her head against his chest. He kissed the top of her head and did the only thing he could think of. Sing.

Once she fell asleep, he stopped and just let the feel of her body sink in. After an hour of just listening to her soft breathing, he laid her down onto the couch and covered her with the blanket. Kissing her lips one last time was worth the risk of waking her.

She sighed in her sleep and rolled over. It wouldn't be long and she'd find someone else who probably still wouldn't deserve her. She was special.

Knowing her brothers would worry; he shot a text to Jacob to let him know Sophia’s location and then grabbed his bags. He’d packed only what he needed. The biggest thing was his guitar. It had been a present from his gran
dparents while he recovered from his football injury. Maybe he'd have more time to practice playing it.

One last glimpse at Sophia, and he reluctantly walked out the door.

Heading out of the small town and the life he knew.

Chapter Two

Cooper spotted the sign to his hometown. Larger than he remembered, and around him, a lot more traffic than there used to be. Still, nothing like where he lived now. The buildings looked the same except for the new shopping center, which was probably a huge event coming to the town. It did suck to see the old market shut down, but after his grandfather had his heart attack there, he didn't think he'd have been able to take one step inside.

The barber shop still had an open sign in front, which made him smile. He always had his hair cut there until leaving. No one could seem to get it right since Kenneth cut it last. Cooper usually got his hair cut every three weeks, but waited to see Kenneth or anyone else who didn't try to put all the fancy crap in it. Finding a good old-fashioned barber shop wasn't easy.

He gripped the steering wheel tight in his new truck. The old Dodge his grandpa left him didn't run as well as it used to, so he finally broke down and purchased a new one. He didn't trade it though. He had it locked up in his garage. Safe. The crucifix now hung up in the new truck. It just didn't seem right not to have it with him.

Almost seven years had gone by since he'd left home. It was time to go through his grandparents' belongings and sell the house. His stomach churned. They would probably haunt him forever for selling it.

The long dirt road looked just the same as he remembered. Dust flew around the truck, showing the lack of rain. The Johnsons' house hadn't changed a bit and he could tell they kept up with it. Considering the big construction business in town was owned by them, Cooper didn't expect anything less.

He found his mind wandering to the brunette who lived there, or used to. If Sophia was married now, he wasn't sure he could handle it. Not that he should be upset since he’d left her in the first place.

Without slowing, he passed on by their house and then on his left, by the old tree house that still stood and seemed in better condition than he remembered. Apparently, they kept that up too. A ton of good memories and one bad one came to mind. He shoved the memory of the terrifying night away. No need to dwell anymore on the past.

He took a deep breath and put the truck into park. The tightening of his throat had him grasping at his t-shirt, trying to pull the collar away from his neck. Feeling smothered, he jumped out of the truck and removed the ball cap he wore. He dropped the hat on the hood of the truck and shoved his hands through his hair.

Shit. He had to get over this. After staring at the ground for what seemed like forever and studying each grain of dirt below him, Cooper finally focused back on the house again. He always loved the country style of the two-story home. Although old and well over-due for a paint job, it still appeared beautiful to him.

Maybe he was biased. His grandpa built the home in 1955 and nothing had been changed since except for the large workshop built out beside it.

He smiled when he thought about Grandpa’s story of how he won the heart of his grandmother. He had said her face lit up like the morning sun. That was when he dropped down on his knee and proposed to her.

Cooper imagined himself doing the same thing at one point in his life. Not anymore. The only person he pictured was not someone he could be with. Distraction at work and writing songs helped to keep his mind off her. Dating a few girls helped some, but he found himself comparing them to Sophia—and after only one shared kiss.
Pathetic
.

The crunch of the gravel had him turning around. He grabbed his hat off the hood of his truck and put it back on to block the blinding sun.

It was a nice truck pulling in, but he still couldn’t see who was driving. The black extended cab Dodge came to a stop in front of him. Cooper waited for whoever it was to get out.

The door opened and he smiled. Jacob Johnson.

"Well, damn. I saw someone drive this way, but I'll admit, I didn't think it was you. Didn't recognize the truck." Jacob came over and they shook hands.

"I just got into town. It was time to come back and get the house ready to sell." There was that sharp pain in his chest again. It hurt to even speak about selling the house. "I'm going to be around long enough to fix it up. From just the looks of the outside, I'll be here for longer than I planned. I've gotta check with the realtor to see what I need to do to get it on the market."